Top 6 Traits to Look For in a High-Value Man

Women often ask me, “Matt, you give all this great advice for women to be high-value, but how do I tell if HE’S an incredible man worthy of a relationship with ME?”

Ok, I’ll bite.

80% of a happy relationship is choosing the right person in the first place, so this issue couldn’t be more important for women who want to find lasting love.

In this week’s video, I join forces with my brother Stephen Hussey (co-author of Get The Guy) to talk about the 6 SURE SIGNS you’re dating a high value guy, so that you can spot when he’s truly someone worth investing in.


►► Confused about what to text him? Just copy & paste these 9 FREE texts → http://www.9Texts.com

9 Texts No Man Can Resist

240 Responses to Top 6 Traits to Look For in a High-Value Man

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  1. Anastasia Kefalas says:

    He’s not afraid to express and share his feelings, he doesn’t run from deepening feelings ( his own) . In other words he’s emotionally healthy.

  2. Christina says:

    Thank you. This video is timely and realistic in my current relationship. Good advice. Personally I need my own space and do not appreciate having to be with my man to the exclusion of time to meditate and see my own friends. Because he says he loves me in tensely does not mean i should be only always with him. Cheers and thanks again.

  3. Rachel M Callejas says:

    He is family oriented

  4. Kathy says:

    A high value man is independent, he is capable of taking care of himself, and would be ready to commit to share house chores.

  5. Disa says:

    The ability to be vulnerable. And this of course has to go both ways. Being someone who struggles with vulnerability and opening up I know how extremely important that trait is in someone you want to build a relationship with… It can take time to get that into a habit.. But it’s worth it :)

    • Carolyn says:

      Yes! You’re the only one who’s said this, but wow, is it important. And rare! I detect in some of the responses here the conditioning about men needing to be strong, but for me the strong man is the one who isn’t afraid of his emotions or showing them. My heart grew about three sizes when the guy I love to the moon and back cried in front of me, talking about his late dad. It was beautiful, and so is he.

  6. Madison says:

    integrity, sense of humor, ability to laugh at himself
    …that’s what I would add

  7. Roxie says:

    He’s willing and able to make you a priority amidst or despite other life endeavors & responsibilities rather than kicking her down the rungs of priority.

    I’ve seen guys make space for a woman through intense careers, grad school, family tragedies– and they all ended up staying together long-term.

    • Amber says:

      He doesn’t engage 100% in work 5 months into a relationship then tell you “I don’t have time for you” while telling you he loves you.

  8. Tiffani says:

    I feel as though a man that can respect his mom can respect women in general. There are exceptions to every rule but if he can treat the woman that’s been in his life the longest well, he’ll treat you well in the long run because he knows how.

    By the way great video. :)

  9. Jaime ostler says:

    When the man your dating loves your kids and wants to spend time with them just because he loves you.

  10. Melanie Warner says:

    Emotionally available is another one

  11. Donna Sehl says:

    He should be honest and willing to put her needs above his own in certain areas of there relationship

  12. Cassie says:

    Be careful of chemistry–I’ve discovered that anybody who seems so great that you want to go to bed right away is bad news. He might be a good guy, but it fizzles out pretty fast. Or you just can’t hold on to him because he’s always going places and doing things–meaning, not the relationship type.

    If you just want to screw around and have fun, go nuts. But if you want a relationship, do your best not to have sex right away because chemistry is only one component. Just my two cents that I’ve unfortunately learned the hard way–a high value guy won’t push you into anything you’re not comfortable with.

    • Roxie says:

      Yepp! This is SO spot on– almost like the “too good to be true” guy, if you will. Even though Matt has offered that having sex too soon isn’t necessarily a destroyer of potential, I agree & also learned the hard way not to have sex quickly just b/c what you’re looking for in a partner all happens to be there and he seems like a gentleman. Traits & chemistry don’t make him high value, behavior does.

  13. Janique says:

    I think high-value men make it clear that they want a real relationship with a woman, not just friends with benefits.They are jumping in the pool with the woman, not just observing from the ledge. Then it’s up to both people to see where this goes.

  14. Pascale Lessard says:

    He is there for you even when it is not convenient or fun. For example, he will help you move or try to fix your laptop.

  15. Janet Williams says:

    Guys,

    There’s one important message I feel women should hear regarding how we judge a man’s traits: we need to give a man a little time to show us who he really is.

    In the beginning, men can talk a lot — especially about themselves — and we can easily think, oh, he’s not interested in me, or worse, he’s a narcissist. “He’s not listening to me and he will never focus on me, and never focus on ‘us’.”

    But the truth is that men often just need a little time to “display their feathers” before relaxing around us and being their true selves, their THOUGHTFUL selves, their ATTENTIVE selves. Perhaps they haven’t had anyone like us to talk to in a long time and they are a bit dammed up. Perhaps they find us an especially good listener with enough similarities to believe we would actually understand them.

    This initial phase may last weeks or even months. But then, somewhere along the line, we may start to elicit “girlfriend” feelings and we become someone he wants to understand, to protect, to cherish — all very different from those first few weeks where we may be judging him, possibly too soon, possibly inaccurately, in the long run.

    So, girls, slow down — relax! Take your time! Have fun! AND THEN see who you’ve got on the hook.

    Does this make sense?

    • kat says:

      makes total sense and it’s a great reminder. guys often don’t have the kind of friends that women do – the kind you can tell all to. however if a guy asks nothing about you at some point, that’s a red flag for me.

      I felt tested on one date by a guy making sure I met his standards. seeking high value works both ways!

    • SUNSHINE says:

      Absolutely!
      :)

  16. Hilda says:

    Honesty about wanting a relationship. Not stringing me along believing we will have a relationship while he is pursuing someone else.

  17. Billie says:

    The #1 thing for me is, a high value man does what he says he’s going to do. If he says he’ll pick you up at 7:00, he is there at 7:00. If some external force prevents him from fulfilling his word (I.e. traffic), he communicates in a timely fashion.

    If he says he’s planning a weekend get-away, he actually plans a weekend get-away. A real man keeps his promises and is a man of his word. If he is a man of integrity, most of the problems we hear most about would never appear.

  18. Jessica says:

    A high value man is a man that you know you can always trust and rely on to keep his word. He is dependable and doesn’t flake on plans and is respectful of your time.

  19. Maggie says:

    I think someone who can call me on my crap and put me in my place in a way that makes me think on what I’m doing.
    And someone who can make me smile, laugh, make things fun.

  20. Kalvinder says:

    Matthew,
    Stop this bloody webcasts and just list the answers

  21. Sandra says:

    A high value man always acts like a man, not a boy. There is a difference between playful behavior and childish behavior and a high value man always gets this difference. No sulking when things go wrong, always taking adult responsibility for his actions.

    A high value man is not manipulative or controlling, doesn’t try to make his partner do things they don’t want.

    Of course, the above 2 traits apply equally to high value women:)

    Thanks for the vid, gentlemen, you are both super sexy BTW.

  22. Lisbet Estrada says:

    Hello,
    Communication, respect, & trust…. Is what I want in my future man, ofcouse there has to be some chemistry.
    I know I’m asking for too much, but I believe his out there, hope he comes to be ASAP.

    Have a good day.
    Lisbet

  23. Karen kouzan says:

    Hey.. not sure if I’m commenting in the correct place but I just wanted to add a comment relating to ‘6 signs he’s a high value man’s..
    I think it’s important for a man to be able to reflect on things he may say in the heat of a moment.. things that are exaggerated, untrue or hurtful. If he finds, on reflection, that he was being harsh, he should be able to own his part and said that he was unfair etc.. this is really a high value quality in humans.. gender really shouldn’t play a role.. and thanks for the tops

  24. Deborah says:

    A high value trait in a man for me is a guy who cats and kids are drawn to, a guy who has that calm confidence that makes you want to be near them.

  25. Cori says:

    I love a man – or any person for that matter – who can:
    1) admit when he is wrong.
    2) apologize properly.

    Might seem silly but notice how these are things that are difficult for anyone to do – myself included, it’s sometimes challenging to admit when I’m wrong but I do it. And a genuine apology where there aren’t excuses or underhanded blame shifting, I.e. “I’m sorry but you did do xyz & made me … Blah blah”

    Hope that helps!!

  26. Liz Taylor says:

    Empathy. A high value man can relate, or seeks to understand how you and others feel. Of course, if there is too much or too little of this virtue, it becomes a vice, but when in balance makes all the difference in your entire relationship.

  27. annie says:

    a high value man is someone who’s willing to work hard in and out of a relationship setting, becuase it shows me that first he’s willing to put in the effort for those he loves and second that he helps to take control of the things that He can control. and third he is willing to pull he’s what and I’m pulling my own weight in the relationship becuase I highly believe that relationships are a team effort. We both pull are own weight and no is of higher value then the other.

  28. M says:

    GREAT video! Puts things men & women get confused about into perspective

  29. Gale Scaramuzza says:

    A high-value man supports my passions. I’ll give you an example from my life: I want to have a foundation one day. My high-value man would help me bring that desire into fruition. He may have high-quality friends/colleagues that could help enormously. That’s what I’m talking about!!!

  30. Maha says:

    Love the video about a high value man. Personally, I would ad to him making his partner feel secure in the relationship: by respecting her private sphere, and keeping her secrets safe, when she tells him about one or more of them. In my opinion, any form of healthy and functioning partnership, needs to be based on a growing element of trust, and respect.

  31. Kerry says:

    My high value man is able to take care of me. He can do something that shows me he cares. Mine actually is in construction and can fix anything. He makes me feel like no matter what he can take care whatever comes up and I know thongs are going to be ok

  32. Janet Roy says:

    The one thing I tend to look for is how he treats and talks about his Momma, his ex and other women in his life, as it is a reflection of how he will treat you. This is a pattern that was set deep inside him from an early age and not likely to change…

    • Mani says:

      Good thinking. To be wary of guys who describe all or most of their exes as “crazy”. It’s okay to have one crazy in your past, but if every woman you’ve had a relationship with “was crazy”, there’s a problem. Especially if he says, “If you talk to her, never believe anything she says.” I dated one guy like this. It was just one way he had of making sure he kept his past a secret, and denying his issues.

      • Mani says:

        Also red-flag anyone who says, “All women are crazy,” or “All (or most) women are bitches, but you’re different.” Eventually, he’ll decide you are just one of the bitches too, like he always suspected.

  33. Kerry says:

    I love how you and your brother play off each other. Some women may not get your joking around with him but part of that may be the English sense of humor. I lived in Newqay for 2 yrs stationed at RAF St Mawgan and it does take a bit for Americans to get it but you guys are great together. (Even thought I didn’t care for the low cut shirt Steven was wearing. Neckline was too low IMO). Cheers

  34. Silvana says:

    p.s. Steve is super cute too

  35. Lisa says:

    A high value man, for me, has a passion (at least one). We don’t necessarily share it, but I will appreciate it. It could be anything from flying planes to growing things to a certain volunteer organization… But something that FUELS him. I never want to be my man’s only passion.

  36. Maria says:

    Great video! I love your brother’s energy and the comedic dynamic between the two of you. He’s cute too.
    But also good points, both of you, and thank you. I would add a high value man supports and protects a woman’s dreams and goals for herself instead of trying to mold her to the perfect mother/maid/cook for himself.

  37. Silvana says:

    I’d say BEING HOT, MUSCLE, BLUE EYES, AUSTRALIAN ACCENT,

    GIFTED MUSICIAN, TALENTED ACTOR OR MODEL-LOOKS

    are WOW traits for MY ideal man…!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    xoxox Matt is so cute!

    • Zari says:

      There aren’t enough Keith Urbans out there Silvana…and that’s the great thing about this life, is that it forces us to look beyond our ideals of what that perfect man for us is…and the hottie is sometimes a complete distraction.

      • Zari says:

        And by “hottie” I’m referring to any guy who’s physically so beautiful we forget or ignore the important qualities that make up a beautiful character in a man.

  38. Mia Jones says:

    Great video! A high value man should encourage his woman in her dreams and pursuits. He should also be “present” when she is speaking with him.

  39. Gloria Lynn says:

    You two are so cute!

  40. KRISTIN WRIGHT says:

    My man does all of these things! Wow. I would add that a high value man inspires you to grow personally. Doesn’t push or demand, but genuinely is your biggest cheerleader on team YOU.

  41. Yael says:

    One of the most important sings of a high- value man is the ability to listen.

    I’ve been in a relationship in the past year, he is good person and I believe he had all the other traits of a high- value man that you mentioned in the video. We loved each other and cared for each other equally (at least i beleive so)..

    ***
    I am a very pationed girl, i love life, love to explore and experiment. I have this crazy theories and ideas about life all the time. ..But I didn’t have anyone to share this ideas with. He didn’t like them and and wouldn’t listen claiming it’s stupid or childish.

    It was a huge turn of for me. Beacuse in the end if the day relationships are about sharing your life with someone, someone who listens to you and who is there for you. And if he eliminates things that part of you and considers them as bullocks, well, this really sucks.

    In the end of the day i broke up with him. He took it really hard and still calls and texts me but i feel like I can’t be with him, i stopped loving him & this is all because he didnt listen.

    I didn’t ask him to agree with me in everything, to do stuff just because i believe in them, i respect every living life and their decisions and actions towards life but it very important, at least for me to have someone to share your mind with

  42. Julie MacKenzie says:

    I love these videos so much! I always look forward to them….They are so informative…& funny! ;) <3 Thanks Matthew & Stephen…You Rock! Hugs! Looking forward to the next one…:)

  43. Claudine says:

    I think it’s important for a man to show willingness to be a part of my life not only wanting me to be a part of his.

  44. Meggan says:

    So, I have a pet peeve for men who walk in front of their wives or girlfriends when they’re out. I just think this is really disrespectful for a man to leave his woman slightly trailing behind, and maybe shows a bit of insecurity on his part or maybe selfishness. It’s fine if they go ahead of you to open a door, but if you’re out you don’t really want the guy to be intentionally experiencing life ahead of you instead of beside you. Thoughts?

  45. Lenni says:

    Wow Matthew you are amazing!!! Everything you were saying was ringing so true and profound!!! Things that I didn’t even really realise or managed to form a prophet cohesive thought about, you put so elegantly!!!!! There’s something about you that you TRULY understand of woman’s mind!!! Which brings me to the next point. I’m so sorry, I’m not hating, but I don’t get the branding of you and your brother. It’s like water and oil!!! He has a completely different feel to yours and it doesn’t work for me. I don’t completely gell with what he says and he’s style of writing never really empowers me and inspires me like your style of writing. So I think you are too different to make this work. I’m sorry, I don’t see him as date-able as you in his way he’s mind works.

    Something to think about.
    Still love you Matthew. Don’t hate me xxx

    • M says:

      Sorry, Lenni, but you sound like the love-struck Twilight teenager who’s so in love with Matthew she can’t see or appreciate a man with a different personality. I’m in the branding biz and by choosing to present 2 different types of men (voice, style, intellect, demeanor) is to bring diversity to the brand to appeal to a broader audience. Hence, more women can hear & benefit from these great tips. Please don’t be offended, but all women don’t like the same flavored jam.

  46. Karyn Lee says:

    A high value man wants to be with a high value woman (who possesses the traits you’ve assigned to the high value man in this video).

    A high value man tells/shows you in some way that he cares. Whatever his “language” is – doing nice things, buying gifts, words, affection, etc – he expresses his care or love for the woman he’s with.

  47. Lillian says:

    Ambition. I high value man sets goals and works hard at achieving them.

  48. Rita says:

    Those low cut t-shirts are horrible and you both need a haircut. A high value man is always looks good. I recommend you the Real men, real style videoblog.

  49. Brittany says:

    He has confidence in himself. Too often I find guys intimidated by my career. They don’t seem to realize you don’t need to make a lot of money for someone (me) to like them as a person. And they shouldn’t shut someone(me) out if they do have a good career.

  50. Maria says:

    You touched on this. I like to see how he deals with difficult situations. It’s easy to see how someone is when everything is fun and dating ladeeda. But the way a man deals with a truly difficult situation. Does he run or stay grounded and it strengthens the relationship? I like to see if he can handle an argument with me. If everything has been perfect and I say one wrong thing does he stick around or run for the hills? I also like to see if he has a healthy way of processing his emotions. If the lovey dovey laughter and fun is there AND he can deal with the crap life throws in then I’m in :)

    • Lisa says:

      I’m definitely with Maria on this one. Emotional intelligence and maturity…VERY important. Don’t ever expect to train a man in this!

  51. A.V. says:

    He is a man of integrity who stands by his words with you. He’s clear and transparent in his communications rather than wishy-washy, hot and cold, inconsistent here and disappearing there. When he says he will do something, he will actually do it instead of cancelling or backing out, not following through, and making it convenient for himself. Integrity is a major sign of showing up mature, ready, and willing to do his relationship duties and to be the man who’s worthy of your time and attention. If he makes you question his motives or interest, if he says one thing but then never follows through, if you have a constant niggling doubt that there’s something not quite right in the way that he communicates or doesn’t communicate with you, take that feeling seriously and honor it. Be true to how you really feel instead of coloring up the situation however you like so that he could continue to uphold your definition of an ideal man, without him being real and sincere with you. Plenty of guys get to behave in this way because there are women who decide they like him so much (are so attracted) that they’re willing to ignore the warning signs and keep going just to have him there. A high-value woman respects herself and cuts out when she sees that he does not demonstrate respect for her feelings by honoring his words to her.

  52. Hilary says:

    He shares something really personal, because he trusts you.

  53. Sep says:

    Integrity!!! He means what he says and says what he means. This goes for both men and women. People often talk about who they are as a person, what theh value, and what’s important to them in life but are they really acting on these things? If you are with someone who says they love to travel yet they haven’t left the borders of the city in the last 6 months look out to see if this overlaps in other parts of their life :)

  54. AManda says:

    Great information. I also believe that a high value man will be possess the trait of honesty, a great communicator, and I also look for this quality respect. I want a man that is highly respected by other men and that other men would like to follow or learn from in a great way. Ex. Could be you Matt!

  55. Cheryl says:

    A sense of humor….but not the kind of humor that puts other people down.

  56. Katie Green says:

    He isn’t afraid to address his relationship needs.

  57. ghada says:

    Thank you for this opportunity (how to text him)..
    i love you..

  58. ghada says:

    Yes,that is right..being responsive..it is realy too dificult to marry someone not responsive to your needs…
    thanks alot to this video..

  59. Mona says:

    I needed this so much…Thank you!

    My problem is that it starts off great when you meet the guy, he acts very interested…then gets your number and there is very little initiative on his part to reach out to you for an actual real date or plan. But yet sends flirty little messages via text or messenger :( for months…..

    The only ones that have pursued me with vigor are those looking for sex…which I blow off as long as possible until they give up.

    So I am in this boat thinking that he shows no initiative and I am wondering this is it…really???? I was curious to understand why this is not a trait that you included in this video.

    Is it me sending the wrong signals or messages or for every 30+ men, there may be a gem??? I only meet people face to face…I do not date online.

    Any thoughts or advice is much appeciated.

    Thank you!!

    • A.V. says:

      My response to this would be not to entertain and have your time wasted on men who aren’t willing to demonstrate real effort and interest and are simply baiting by telling you flattering things for validation or to have sexual attention without actually meaning something deeper in the relational/romantic sense. Learn to differentiate between effort and attention-hog, and move right through the latter who are getting in the way of your happiness.

  60. Margaret Ann says:

    Hi there, wow! I’m going to listen to that again for sure because the dude I’m with doesn’t seem to be much in that list at all…he gets so angry about nothing!

    I’ve been with him on and off for 18 months and I’m the provider yet I get angry verbals heaps. I’m currently in Cambodia – live in Sydney with him – without him & am able to relax, unwind, and get some of your stuff inside of me.

    I’m almost 59 years old and he is 46 – he did;t realise how old I was when he met me but I’m not sure if it’s an issue for him or not – he sure is mad at me a lot.

    Anyway, I’d say a good man is a man whom is very empathetic and cares when you are not well. I’ve had a really bad flu that went on for weeks – he didn’t even make a cup of tea. Being unwell is a good test of a mans or anyones genuine empathy.

    Plus, a good man will be happy that his woman makes the effort to present herself well.

    • Zari says:

      Margaret looks like you he wants you because you have unattainable qualities he hasn’t developed in himself yet. Leave for the sake of your own sanity. Dating someone younger is refreshing but only when he is emotionally stable and intelligent enough to add value to your life. If you’re dating him because it gives your ego a boost that you’re in a “relationship” and yet he leaves you wanting to gasp for air that’s not a healthy sign. We hold on to people like they’re possessions that aren’t good for us sometimes just because it’s comfortable and we’ve grown accustomed to seeing them there (like piles of old notes, bills etc that don’t need to filed any more and are collecting dust and taking up too much precious space).

      • Margaret Ann says:

        Hi Zari, am unsure if your in the marital coaching business but I certainly hope not. I appreciate your attempt at a response but the majority of it is based on assumptions rather than fact. Ego nor refreshment has anything to do with my relationship. When we met, I for several months thought he was older than myself and, he thought I was younger than he – so that’s what happens with assumptions. Nor is this man stuffed away like an old note, pile of bills etc. He is in actual fact a very talented musician, and quite an intellectual but alas with anger problems that’s left me stunned.

        • Zari says:

          Hello Margaret! If I’ve offended you, well then that was not my intent. Your pain just resonated with me from what little you wrote about your relationship. There are many reasons why we attract people who don’t treat us well when we are at our weakest. Perhaps it’s a test from God in how patient we are with this situation (if you believe in some form of a higher power or spiritual guru, religion,etc) or a major red flag giving us a sign that something’s not adding up and it’s time to move forward. I did assume that you already tried to have intelligent conversations with the man in question about his strange behavior. By making exceptions for someone who continues to prove they don’t deserve us no matter their talent, physical beauty, or high IQ we prolong our own suffering. My own experience has been that if I don’t have boundaries and expectations then my heart stays in turmoil and the hurt just gets recycled. My hope for you is that you find the resolution to find the love and peace that your heart and mind deserves. And no I’m not a therapist otherwise I may have paid more attention to the typos and such in my initial comment. Take care love!

  61. Helen says:

    He should be responsible and dependable and true to his word. If he says he is going to do a certain thing, he will. What comes out of his mouth should mean something. Thank you Matt and Steve x

  62. k says:

    He doesn’t text me. He calls me.

  63. Jennifer says:

    A high value man challenges, supports and expects you to be your best self.
    This dawned on me when I told a guy that my work wrote an article about me and he said I was bragging. I realized if he doesn’t want me to feel good about myself he is not the guy for me.

  64. Sherri says:

    I would add that he does what he says he will do. Talk is often cheap! If a man promises high and delivers low, it shows a lack of integrity, which is never good.

  65. Tracy Churchill says:

    He is secure. He can be himself however he is and not fear that every other man around is trying to steal his girlfriend. Once I dated someone who I thought was amazing in every way, but the second another guy was within a 5m radius he would be all over me (not from desire but just desiring to show ownership). I ended that ASAP.

    Also, a high value man sets reasonable boundaries. Guys always say ‘nice guys finish last’, but it’s not true- guys with no boundaries finish last. When we push and test to see where the line is (and we will!) – there is a line. And it is firmly drawn, not mutable. I always thought I wanted a man who would grant my every wish, but now I know that I needed a man who is strong enough to kindly and firmly say no when I’m being deliberately ridiculous.

    Also, great post! I like the interactions between you brothers.

  66. Neethu Vimal says:

    He helps me in building up my dreams too…is a trait that I would live to see in my partner.

  67. Georgette Rogers says:

    When you calmly ask for either an explanation or a reason or even want to know how he feels about something, he says he needs time to think about it. He says he will get back to you when he has time to ” wrap his head around it”. He then never gets back to you. You don’t ask because it’s taken X amount of tries just to get him to have a discussion in the first place. So….. does he not care, or care about your feelings or just forgot. So your left hanging….again!

  68. Kat says:

    Thats brilliant! Thank you! Yet to confirm my guy is a high value man

  69. Lynn says:

    This was a fabulous video and I am impressed by the loving and collaborative dynamics between you two brothers. Please do more videos together!

    One thing I would add regarding a high quality man (from my own personal experience) is a man who has healthy self awareness and excellent communication skills. He isn’t afraid to open up, express his feelings and actively listens to what his partner has to say.

  70. Chandhini says:

    He should not lose control of his judgement when he gets angry.he should stay sane when he gets angry. He should also accept the woman for what she is, and not expect her to work towards his idea of what she should be. He should be her support system and comfort her she he senses tense vibes from her. He should be empathetic to how she is feeling.

  71. Narnia Harvey says:

    I would add that a high value man respects his mother, you can always tell a lot about a man by the way he treats his mother!

  72. Coral says:

    Here’s 4

    1. He actually phones instead of texting
    2. He compliments other attributes other than your beauty
    3. He isn’t surgically attached to his phone and living his life through social media.
    4. He lets you touch his thang on a first date to see what you’re getting! …. Joking!

  73. Tijana says:

    He is honest and agrees with me when I say I should not (and I am not) going to wait for him to make up his mind (due to he is “not ready for a relationship”). Instead of lying or persuading in order to keep what he has had for a little while longer. “Hat off” for that at least!

  74. Zsofia says:

    He knows why he does the things he do or if not, searching for their reasons.

  75. Boë says:

    Someone who is empathetic

  76. Sia says:

    To follow through with whatever he says he is going to do.

  77. Lilja says:

    In addition to the points mentioned in the video I would like to add a lack of jealousy. For me that means he’s secure enough in his own skin that he doesn’t have the need to measure himself up to other people, be it your friends, colleagues or your ex boyfriends. That he knows that if you’re in a relationship with him, it’s because that’s where you want to be.

    Also in my books, very important: That the man says what he means, and means what he says. This means two things: 1) that there’s a consistency between actions and words, and 2) he’s willing to communicate – with words – when he has a problem.

  78. Di says:

    He puts you first and you him.
    make sure he knows he is safe, respected.
    Don’t use words to be each ther on the defense in a disagreement. Use I feel like this when this happens it keeps the blame off each other and on the issue instead.

  79. Janice Jackson says:

    He shows patience when he tries to teach you something. Someone who gets frustrated easily and gets angry is not going to be pleasant to be around or a good father and will end up causing arguments because your a team and will always find things you need to do together . bleeding brakes for example. This transfers to the bedroom as well.

  80. Samx says:

    Thanks a lot for this, this was excellent! Both looking good ;) loved both of your energy!

  81. Cathy Lavender says:

    If a man has a very demanding life, or job. And he still takes time to communicate with you daily. That he loves you, and cares for you. Cathy Lavender

  82. A says:

    This goes about being a high value man in general, not only for your girlfriend though as a friend to people and in all of his friendships.

    Especially as I think it is important to be consistent in treating all the people you have a relationship with with the same respect and integrity, not simply the 1 girl you want the most from (at the time). How a guy treats any of his friends or ex’s or other girls, shows how he is capable of treating other ones later on once his feelings change for them.

    So definitely seeing how he treats his other friends, acquaintances, colleagues etc. and if he is consistent in his respect.

    When a man matches his actions in his life and how he treats friends with his words of philosophy and how he presents himself and would like to be seen as. Not much lowers someone’s value then being a hypocrite who only likes to make people think he believes certain values and doesn’t even admit or acknowledge when he completely goes against them in his actions to certain friends. Then continues to talk up those values and beliefs to all the people that don’t know the messed up things he did.

    Another sign of a high value man is a man who much like Stephen mentioned is not a coward about confrontation and won’t run away or hide from the difficult conversations, even if that is having to reject someone upfront and with integrity, not simply run, hide and block. Or never tell a friend if there is something they did that he is upset with and avoids instead. A man who simply avoids instead of confronts is weak and selfish and low value. That includes hiding things about his life from you and avoiding telling you them cause he’s afraid of how that’d effect you or change your relationship with him. Hiding is not far from lying. I suppose it’s obvious I resent a guy for not being a real friend.

  83. Pamela says:

    To be content,secure and happy in own skin. Own it for then we can go on the relationship journey together.

  84. Clare says:

    He supports your career and is so happy seeing you succeed but is also there when things don’t go how you expected them to

  85. Lia says:

    He makes his woman feel good eventhough he wants to advise on something but he will choose his words wisely so that she wont be demotivated or feeling small.

  86. Cherloe Morgan says:

    He values his own personal growth.

  87. Jeannie Carter says:

    I was married for 38 amazing, beautiful years…
    Unfortunately… my gorgeous husband…
    My one & only boyfriend… passed away… in 2012…
    He was a most amazing Friend… Lover & Partner… we were always there to catch each other’s back…
    I will forever miss him…
    I would have swum across the oceans & back… & given up my life for him… & will love & miss him always & forever…

    • Jeannie Carter says:

      As I would love another relationship in my future… most of my experience has been men who are very self centered… a one way street…no fun here… yikes…

      • Zari says:

        Jeannie since you’ve experienced a beautiful relationship already your late husband has really set the bar high for you. It’s going to take time to build another amazing relationship and if you can explain to the men you date who are not meeting your standard in a gentle way before you leave them for good what you want then that will give them enough to think on and grow. Perhaps the next woman they date they will do better.

  88. Zari says:

    Great points made Hussey brothers.
    Here’s one:
    When a man is actively participating in the care of his own health: regular check ups, eating clean and healthy, regular exercise, etc. so as to extend his life to want to spend more of his days with his woman/family. Even more awesome is when he exercises with his woman (outside of the bedroom). That’s a beautiful thing to witness!

  89. Sharie says:

    He doesn’t just respond, he listens and communicates. Often, no response is necessary.

  90. Alice says:

    Actually it seems perfect to apply to women. High value women, of course. To learn. To never lose ground and yourself. To be attentive without stalking.
    But good work nevertheless.
    I would add one boring thing: have courage, never escape from life into substances.
    OK, I would add another boring thing: think twice before you react. Or open your mouth.

  91. MC says:

    He is happy to be generous, not only with his money but with his time, with his help and with what would make the woman happy. For example, having to visit woman’s parents, at dinner with friends, having to run errands, no crankiness, no comments. Ultimately having a big heart unconditionally and a good mood.

  92. Tina Wall says:

    I think a high value man is one who CALLS when he is not sure if he can make it to see you…or just to let you know that you are important to him- even in front of the guys. Consideration is very important

  93. Celina says:

    A man who treats wait staff/service industry workers with RESPECT!
    the amount of times i have served a man and his date only to be met with a hot temper over a small mistake or rudeness/disrespect. If he treats others that try to serve him and please him that way, how will he treat you when you’re met with adversity? You never know what someone is going through that day so always be kind and compassionate to everyone you meet and they will do the same for you :)

    ps matt are you active on instagram? I follow you everywhere else!
    Thanks stephen for bringing up such a wonderful topic. Im Going on a first date tonight with a guy I served the other night…he didn’t treat me like another server/hostess….he treated me like i was a human being/friend xx

  94. Anara says:

    A high value man tries to communicate his true feelings at crucial moments even if it is difficult to do so, i

  95. Lesley Miles says:

    Wants to understand you but not always trying to moderate his behaviour to please you. In other words not being over-compliant.

    Takes responsibility but doesn’t always say “sorry” for things that don’t quite go right. Suppose that goes with the above

  96. Dale says:

    Great advice!
    I would add to that a man who doesn’t try to make his lady jealous about his ex’s! Like you say Matt we like to be made to feel secure in the relationship.

  97. madiha fatima says:

    I love whatever u say Matthew , I hv been talking to sm guys fem international date .com but all seems to be soo dull n boring . I m soo disappointed now I feel like a looser . I love all the traits that u n yur brother has mentioned u guys r greatest n sweetest .

  98. Dalma Bugg says:

    Let’s me know he always listens, by connecting with the subject at a later time. E.g. remembers that I’m interested in, a particular thing so it’s something we can talk about at another time.

  99. Nancy says:

    A high value man will show you that he supports your dreams and admires your special talents — and is not threatened by them.

  100. madiha fatima says:

    Wow Matthew all traits that u n yur brother Steve has mentioned r amazing I love everything u said but making a girl feel secure n showing love. , affection n care wz the best

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