Women often ask me, “Matt, you give all this great advice for women to be high-value, but how do I tell if HE’S an incredible man worthy of a relationship with ME?”
Ok, I’ll bite.
80% of a happy relationship is choosing the right person in the first place, so this issue couldn’t be more important for women who want to find lasting love.
In this week’s video, I join forces with my brother Stephen Hussey (co-author of Get The Guy) to talk about the 6 SURE SIGNS you’re dating a high value guy, so that you can spot when he’s truly someone worth investing in.
►► Confused about what to text him? Just copy & paste these 9 FREE texts → http://www.9Texts.com
240 Replies to “Top 6 Traits to Look For in a High-Value Man”
Hi there, wow! I’m going to listen to that again for sure because the dude I’m with doesn’t seem to be much in that list at all…he gets so angry about nothing!
I’ve been with him on and off for 18 months and I’m the provider yet I get angry verbals heaps. I’m currently in Cambodia – live in Sydney with him – without him & am able to relax, unwind, and get some of your stuff inside of me.
I’m almost 59 years old and he is 46 – he did;t realise how old I was when he met me but I’m not sure if it’s an issue for him or not – he sure is mad at me a lot.
Anyway, I’d say a good man is a man whom is very empathetic and cares when you are not well. I’ve had a really bad flu that went on for weeks – he didn’t even make a cup of tea. Being unwell is a good test of a mans or anyones genuine empathy.
Plus, a good man will be happy that his woman makes the effort to present herself well.
Margaret looks like you he wants you because you have unattainable qualities he hasn’t developed in himself yet. Leave for the sake of your own sanity. Dating someone younger is refreshing but only when he is emotionally stable and intelligent enough to add value to your life. If you’re dating him because it gives your ego a boost that you’re in a “relationship” and yet he leaves you wanting to gasp for air that’s not a healthy sign. We hold on to people like they’re possessions that aren’t good for us sometimes just because it’s comfortable and we’ve grown accustomed to seeing them there (like piles of old notes, bills etc that don’t need to filed any more and are collecting dust and taking up too much precious space).
Hi Zari, am unsure if your in the marital coaching business but I certainly hope not. I appreciate your attempt at a response but the majority of it is based on assumptions rather than fact. Ego nor refreshment has anything to do with my relationship. When we met, I for several months thought he was older than myself and, he thought I was younger than he – so that’s what happens with assumptions. Nor is this man stuffed away like an old note, pile of bills etc. He is in actual fact a very talented musician, and quite an intellectual but alas with anger problems that’s left me stunned.
Hello Margaret! If I’ve offended you, well then that was not my intent. Your pain just resonated with me from what little you wrote about your relationship. There are many reasons why we attract people who don’t treat us well when we are at our weakest. Perhaps it’s a test from God in how patient we are with this situation (if you believe in some form of a higher power or spiritual guru, religion,etc) or a major red flag giving us a sign that something’s not adding up and it’s time to move forward. I did assume that you already tried to have intelligent conversations with the man in question about his strange behavior. By making exceptions for someone who continues to prove they don’t deserve us no matter their talent, physical beauty, or high IQ we prolong our own suffering. My own experience has been that if I don’t have boundaries and expectations then my heart stays in turmoil and the hurt just gets recycled. My hope for you is that you find the resolution to find the love and peace that your heart and mind deserves. And no I’m not a therapist otherwise I may have paid more attention to the typos and such in my initial comment. Take care love!
I needed this so much…Thank you!
My problem is that it starts off great when you meet the guy, he acts very interested…then gets your number and there is very little initiative on his part to reach out to you for an actual real date or plan. But yet sends flirty little messages via text or messenger :( for months…..
The only ones that have pursued me with vigor are those looking for sex…which I blow off as long as possible until they give up.
So I am in this boat thinking that he shows no initiative and I am wondering this is it…really???? I was curious to understand why this is not a trait that you included in this video.
Is it me sending the wrong signals or messages or for every 30+ men, there may be a gem??? I only meet people face to face…I do not date online.
Any thoughts or advice is much appeciated.
My response to this would be not to entertain and have your time wasted on men who aren’t willing to demonstrate real effort and interest and are simply baiting by telling you flattering things for validation or to have sexual attention without actually meaning something deeper in the relational/romantic sense. Learn to differentiate between effort and attention-hog, and move right through the latter who are getting in the way of your happiness.
Yes,that is right..being responsive..it is realy too dificult to marry someone not responsive to your needs…
thanks alot to this video..
Thank you for this opportunity (how to text him)..
i love you..
He isn’t afraid to address his relationship needs.
A sense of humor….but not the kind of humor that puts other people down.
Great information. I also believe that a high value man will be possess the trait of honesty, a great communicator, and I also look for this quality respect. I want a man that is highly respected by other men and that other men would like to follow or learn from in a great way. Ex. Could be you Matt!
Integrity!!! He means what he says and says what he means. This goes for both men and women. People often talk about who they are as a person, what theh value, and what’s important to them in life but are they really acting on these things? If you are with someone who says they love to travel yet they haven’t left the borders of the city in the last 6 months look out to see if this overlaps in other parts of their life :)
He shares something really personal, because he trusts you.
He is a man of integrity who stands by his words with you. He’s clear and transparent in his communications rather than wishy-washy, hot and cold, inconsistent here and disappearing there. When he says he will do something, he will actually do it instead of cancelling or backing out, not following through, and making it convenient for himself. Integrity is a major sign of showing up mature, ready, and willing to do his relationship duties and to be the man who’s worthy of your time and attention. If he makes you question his motives or interest, if he says one thing but then never follows through, if you have a constant niggling doubt that there’s something not quite right in the way that he communicates or doesn’t communicate with you, take that feeling seriously and honor it. Be true to how you really feel instead of coloring up the situation however you like so that he could continue to uphold your definition of an ideal man, without him being real and sincere with you. Plenty of guys get to behave in this way because there are women who decide they like him so much (are so attracted) that they’re willing to ignore the warning signs and keep going just to have him there. A high-value woman respects herself and cuts out when she sees that he does not demonstrate respect for her feelings by honoring his words to her.
You touched on this. I like to see how he deals with difficult situations. It’s easy to see how someone is when everything is fun and dating ladeeda. But the way a man deals with a truly difficult situation. Does he run or stay grounded and it strengthens the relationship? I like to see if he can handle an argument with me. If everything has been perfect and I say one wrong thing does he stick around or run for the hills? I also like to see if he has a healthy way of processing his emotions. If the lovey dovey laughter and fun is there AND he can deal with the crap life throws in then I’m in :)
I’m definitely with Maria on this one. Emotional intelligence and maturity…VERY important. Don’t ever expect to train a man in this!
He has confidence in himself. Too often I find guys intimidated by my career. They don’t seem to realize you don’t need to make a lot of money for someone (me) to like them as a person. And they shouldn’t shut someone(me) out if they do have a good career.
Those low cut t-shirts are horrible and you both need a haircut. A high value man is always looks good. I recommend you the Real men, real style videoblog.
Ambition. I high value man sets goals and works hard at achieving them.
A high value man wants to be with a high value woman (who possesses the traits you’ve assigned to the high value man in this video).
A high value man tells/shows you in some way that he cares. Whatever his “language” is – doing nice things, buying gifts, words, affection, etc – he expresses his care or love for the woman he’s with.
Wow Matthew you are amazing!!! Everything you were saying was ringing so true and profound!!! Things that I didn’t even really realise or managed to form a prophet cohesive thought about, you put so elegantly!!!!! There’s something about you that you TRULY understand of woman’s mind!!! Which brings me to the next point. I’m so sorry, I’m not hating, but I don’t get the branding of you and your brother. It’s like water and oil!!! He has a completely different feel to yours and it doesn’t work for me. I don’t completely gell with what he says and he’s style of writing never really empowers me and inspires me like your style of writing. So I think you are too different to make this work. I’m sorry, I don’t see him as date-able as you in his way he’s mind works.
Something to think about.
Still love you Matthew. Don’t hate me xxx
Sorry, Lenni, but you sound like the love-struck Twilight teenager who’s so in love with Matthew she can’t see or appreciate a man with a different personality. I’m in the branding biz and by choosing to present 2 different types of men (voice, style, intellect, demeanor) is to bring diversity to the brand to appeal to a broader audience. Hence, more women can hear & benefit from these great tips. Please don’t be offended, but all women don’t like the same flavored jam.
So, I have a pet peeve for men who walk in front of their wives or girlfriends when they’re out. I just think this is really disrespectful for a man to leave his woman slightly trailing behind, and maybe shows a bit of insecurity on his part or maybe selfishness. It’s fine if they go ahead of you to open a door, but if you’re out you don’t really want the guy to be intentionally experiencing life ahead of you instead of beside you. Thoughts?
I think it’s important for a man to show willingness to be a part of my life not only wanting me to be a part of his.
I love these videos so much! I always look forward to them….They are so informative…& funny! ;) <3 Thanks Matthew & Stephen…You Rock! Hugs! Looking forward to the next one…:)
One of the most important sings of a high- value man is the ability to listen.
I’ve been in a relationship in the past year, he is good person and I believe he had all the other traits of a high- value man that you mentioned in the video. We loved each other and cared for each other equally (at least i beleive so)..
I am a very pationed girl, i love life, love to explore and experiment. I have this crazy theories and ideas about life all the time. ..But I didn’t have anyone to share this ideas with. He didn’t like them and and wouldn’t listen claiming it’s stupid or childish.
It was a huge turn of for me. Beacuse in the end if the day relationships are about sharing your life with someone, someone who listens to you and who is there for you. And if he eliminates things that part of you and considers them as bullocks, well, this really sucks.
In the end of the day i broke up with him. He took it really hard and still calls and texts me but i feel like I can’t be with him, i stopped loving him & this is all because he didnt listen.
I didn’t ask him to agree with me in everything, to do stuff just because i believe in them, i respect every living life and their decisions and actions towards life but it very important, at least for me to have someone to share your mind with
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