If you have plenty of male friends, but struggle at knowing how to get a guy to like you romantically, this scenario might seem familiar:
- He texts you for hours…
- He geeks out with you about movies and books…
- He touches you affectionately and puts his arm around you like you’re his girlfriend…
And yet… he always ends up dating some other girl!
Why does this happen??
It’s one thing to get him to like you as his best friend, but another entirely to ignite in him those intense feelings of attraction for you that make him want you as something more.
In this article, I want to reveal the secrets of male attraction and show exactly what mistakes women make when they become the “buddy girl” instead of the “alluring woman” he really wants to date.
What Makes Him Like You – Don’t Skip Physical Chemistry!
When a woman consistently gets stuck as a guy’s friend, it’s usually because she fails to create SEXUAL CHEMISTRY.
Without sexual chemistry, your relationship will remain squarely in “Friend Zone City” forever, because you’ll be missing that initial spark of desire, the one that makes a guy fantasize about getting you alone, kissing you, taking your clothes off… and… you get the idea.
The fact is, if you want really want a guy to be your boyfriend, you must begin with some level of physical desire. Even if you both have a ton in common and he respects you 100%, the fact is, without desire, you’ll never create real attraction in this guy.
Many women get this wrong and think that sexual chemistry is only a result of their looks. They think that unless they resemble Scarlett Johansson or Sofia Vergara, a man’s eyes are always going to be drawn elsewhere.
But that couldn’t be more wrong.
What sexual chemistry really comes down to is this:
- How well you take care of your body (diet, exercise, skincare, hair style, etc.)
- Your ability to be confident in your own skin and wear clothes that express your femininity.
- Owning your sexuality and being comfortable with EXPRESSING DESIRE.
- Being comfortable enough to flirt with him (but still letting him come to you).
Add these elements into your usual repertoire, and you’ll find that guys will start noticing you more romantically, instead of just as a friend.
But remember, physical chemistry is just one element of attraction.
If you feel like you always push guys away without knowing why, make sure you read my other article on How To Get A Guy To Like You: 5 Mistakes Women Make, in which I detail the “attraction blindspots” that turn men off in dating.
Don’t Get Stuck On ONE guy – 3 Quick Steps To Becoming Irresistible
What if you’re already stuck in the friend zone with one guy and don’t know how to change it?
The best advice I can give you is a little unexpected, but here it is: Move on.
That’s right. Just quit this guy. Stop seeing him. Stop hanging around and being his “best girl buddy.” Stop being the shoulder for him to cry on, stop listening to all his relationship woes and problems. Stop staying in on a Friday night talking to him on Skype, and instead, make a commitment now that you will go out and meet new guys.
See, although I’ve shown above that one problem of the “best girl buddy” is her inability to create sexual chemistry, there is another problem that holds her back, and it’s this: She doesn’t show the guy that she is in-demand.
What gets a guy to like you is knowing that you could be snapped up by someone else at any minute. If a guy thinks you’ll hang around waiting for him forever because you have no other options, it kills his drive to pursue you.
If you’ve been a guy’s BFF for a while and he’s gotten used to having you come running whenever he calls, the very best thing you can do right now is the most unexpected: Become less available to him.
Does this sound extreme??
Well, here’s the thing: Right now, you’re probably obsessing over this one guy, imagining how perfect your life would be together and how cute your babies would look. And if he hasn’t given the signal that he likes you back, that’s a dangerously unhealthy position to be in.
You need to create distance, get perspective, and remind yourself that there are thousands of other eligible men in the world to date, so that you remember that you are a catch that any guy would be lucky to have in his life.
So here’s your three-step plan to get a guy to like you as more than a friend:
- Step 1 – Create some distance right now so that you can begin to build your confidence. Don’t come running every time he calls, and stop playing therapist to his relationship problems.
- Step 2 – Embrace your flirtatious side and get more comfortable expressing physical desire so that you create sexual chemistry with NEW guys.
- Step 3 – Remind yourself that you are in demand so that your guy friend sees you won’t be available forever.
Start with these three steps, and then check out my article on How To Attract Men Without Risking Rejection to get more insight into men and attraction.
Oh, and if you want to learn my proven practical tips for flirting and learn the exact copy-and-paste texts to send a guy to make him your boyfriend, make sure to grab a copy of my How To Talk To Men program, in which I reveal 59 secret scripts you can use on any man to seduce his mind and heart.
Until next time,
7 Replies to “How to Get a Guy to Like You (As MORE Than a Friend)”
Very Helpful Article, Thanks So Much Matt!!
It Sucks To Be Taken For Granted, You Should Never Continue Alliances With People Who Don’t Appreciate Or Respect You, Amen
Hey Matt, hey Stephen,
Why do people always want the orher person like them instead of find out if they themselves actually like the person.
I think in my opinion we go on dates to actually see if we like the person and not make the person like us.
Gender is a question of chromosomes – XX and XY being the predominant combination regarding which a majority of us identify as female and male, respectively.
There is a need caused by this identification to reach and embody/express the associated feminine and masculine energies.
We search for a partner or a ideal yin / yang balancing relationship combination – gay straight bi whatever.
What people fail to realize sometimes is that you already contain all expressions of energy and it’s just a question of being how feels good to you
Instead of focusing on catching or keeping a man – The focus REALLY needs to be on being happy and embodying the energy that you wish to keep.
Attracting a partner is a weird result of historic, biological… now practically pe-historic logic defying vomit-worthy so called versions of love that aren’t really REALLY real.
If it takes SO much work to get or keep a man, get rid of him. I am just saying look for the right character traits and don’t be someone you’re not
Let it happen if it happens, but don’t plan on it
Relationships are optional
Everything in life is optional
I like your post
Unless of course they are super religious. Then this article could easily be addressed to men as well and they need to hear it! That it is ok to express desire even if your not fulfilling it.
My experience has been that it is not received well. I had one man complain to his father that I was always pushing sex on him when I wasn’t I was just being a woman that is expressive and unashamed. He later comes back and admits his dad said that means I’m healthy, but come on its like get a grip. Red flag!
Or you end up with a guy who is so unsexual that you wonder if he has it in him or they just can’t handle simple things like small amounts of cleavage, your legs. Just saying. I had one man get angry at me cuz God forbid I had a respectable non-hoochy amount of cleavage when I went out. I wasn’t even on a date with him, we were in a group. Or the guy who told me to cover my lethal weapons referring to my legs. Its like get a grip! So then your like well I can wear a potato sack and zippers over my hands and up to my neck.
I mean I am all about boundaries and I understand if a guy is not wanting to have sex unless he’s married. But I mean how can you just be like a eunuch. I mean I am as “wholesome” as they come, I am modest and carry myself as a woman. But how can you be a healthy woman or man and keep everything suppressed to the point where there is no chemistry. I mean that is like having a plantonic friendship.
I went on a date awhile back and when the topic of sex comes up he says “I’m never having sex again it’s horrible” he was referring to sex outside of marriage but my first thought was my gosh what if he really thinks its horrible. My deepest fear in marriage has always been I am going to marry some man that isn’t going to want to have sex as much as myself. I mean some like to talk big but when it comes down to it they are complaining like your evil. And in my mind its like why get married then, just be friends. It is very difficult to reconcile this and it is like having your femininity cut off.
I honestly don’t know how I am going to handle this in my life going forward. I of course want to do what is right and I of course want to be a respectable person. But I just can’t date men that think sex is a bad thing, are offended by my legs or are so suppressed that they have issues.
The conflict is real. And I wanted to post this because I know there are other Christian woman on this site and they should also know that men that think sex is bad or you are bad for being expressive are red flags.
I honestly feel like if I meet a guy who even believes in Jesus and remotely has the same values as myself I am going to have to sit down with him and have a serious discussion about it. And that might actually be a big turn off, but I think it is the only way to weed the men out who are incompatible.
Adding to my own comment cuz after much deep thought I have realized that I really just need to stop choosing these types of men. Its my own fault cuz I keep trying to do what Ive bern told rather than what is best. So I’m changing myself and I’m taking the advice of my parents, those who have coached me and my own knower. Too look for more of what matters and less of what others tell me matters. And this means also choosing to spend time with men that I dont meet in a church and give them a chance and find out who they are. So thanks for making me think about my complaints hahaha This starts tomorrow by going out with a bunch of guys I normally would never give the time of day
Hi Matt , I’m a 62 yer old woman and I have a friend that was once my boyfriend for 12 years . Now for the last year he told me we can be only friends, and I still want to be more than friends. It’s very hard for me at times to just be a friend , I want him to feel attraction for me as a girlfriend, and want to have sexual relations with him . Please help me ? I love him so !!!!
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