This is article #52 to be published on the Get The Guy blog from my brother Stephen. Steve helped co-write the Get The Guy book and is a wealth of knowledge on dating and relationships.
(Photo: Jackie Newgent)
Do you stick too closely to your comfortable little group of friends?
Are you the kind of person who is always calling up the same two or three people to go out with on a Friday night?
If so, this post is for you.
I know how you feel. Maybe only a few people in the world really get you. It’s hard to find friends you feel totally comfortable and connected with.
Plus, you like your small group of friends.
You enjoy their company and they laugh at all your jokes.
I don’t want to tell you that you need a bigger social group, or that you need different friends.
But if you want to meet more guys, have a more vibrant social life, and challenge yourself to grow as a person, then I can’t recommend highly enough the power of what I call “Social Dipping”.
Social Dipping is when you simply break into a new social group, even if it’s just for one night.
Maybe you get invited to that housewarming party of an acquaintance and you’re wondering whether to bother. Social Dipping can mean tagging along on a single trip, a single night-out, or even just for lunch.
Here are the advantages:
- 90% of the people you meet will be new
Even if for one night you’re just tagging along to a barbecue or a pool party, or if you’re showing up at the birthday party of that friend you haven’t seen in five years, you’re going to be exposed to an entirely different social circle.
If you want to meet a lot of new guys fast, and have easy conversation, this is one damn good way to do it.
You might not come away with any new life-long friends from it, but you’re much more likely to score a date than you would be by just hanging with your regular one or two friends in a bar.
- You’ll be challenged
Staying with the same friends will keep you the same.
New social groups force you to confront different aspects of your personality. You’ll get to practice introducing yourself in ten different ways and learn how to talk about your job without boring the person listening.
In short, you’re giving your social skills a serious workout.
- You’ll learn about new stuff
Why not have a neuroscientist in your life? Why not find out what an iOS Developer actually does? Why not challenge your prejudice that all investment bankers are assholes?
When you meet new social groups, you learn about different kinds of people.
You’ll learn much more from one night with a whole new crowd than from yet another conversation about your latest TV series with the same friends you always hang out with.
- You’ll be able to try different personalities on
Away from your normal environment, you’ll feel comfortable having a confident swagger, or being more flirtatious than usual, or more assertive about your views.
A new social group is a chance to wear a different mental outfit for the night.
Without your regular friends’ expectations, you’ll be free to break out and do the unexpected.
How to do ‘Social Dipping’
How do you find new social circles to break into?
At some point, perhaps by a co-worker, a long forgotten college roommate, or some other “half-friend”, you’re going to be invited to an event they’re holding.
They won’t be expecting you to say yes.
But here’s what you’re going to do: Say YES.
Now, I’m not one for saying “yes” mindlessly, and finding yourself trapped in a calendar full of tedious events that you’re now obligated to attend.
So here are the rules: You only say “yes” when either:
1. You get invited to some really fun sounding activity or event you wouldn’t otherwise get to do.
2. You feel like there is a good chance you’re going to meet a lot of new and interesting people in a new social scene. (Don’t bother if it’s only 3-4 people sitting around drinking wine, that’s not really enough to dip into a whole new social circle. Unless they are truly divine company!)
When you keep your eyes open, you’ll find these opportunities open up more and more. Again, don’t say “Yes” to all of them, but definitely to some of them.
See where “Social Dipping” takes you and let me know some of your best stories!
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10 Replies to “How To Use “Social Dipping” To Meet 5x More Men This Month”
Great as usual :D . I wish if you write more about life than getting guys . I can see that you have great mind and great thoughts , so please more articles about life . and THANK YOU for your time ,I really appreciate your time and your effort to write amazing article every week .<3
I ENJOYED READING YOUR ARTICLE :D
THANK YOU STEPHEN :*
Thank you for all the videos on youtube.
I just have a question. I’ve been dating with a guy for more than 3 years and everything is great we are happy and in love.
But sometimes I feel that I need sex more than he does. Even though the sex is great and I get multiple orgasms – it is not enough for me. He might feel it also sometimes.
I just wanted to know how to make him want me more?
Thanks Stephen I will have to keep this in mind when the opportunity arises! Thanks for the article! I like meeting new people so any chance to do so I like to take advantage of!
Thanks for the article
I am at my 4th year at college and since i was at college i was so depressed and introvert for some reasons anyway so i had a group of friends who i wasnt really their friend and now i discovered that they do not fit me and not the kind of friends i want to be with… But now at this late stage of mine at college where everyone know each other and people are friends for years i dont know where to go? Who to be friend with? People are groups of friends should i break one of the groups? I want to know people i want to change i want to have friends i want to date i want to have a social circle… Can you help me please?
I love you btw :)
I’m also an introvert & graduated from college recently so I know what you’re going through. You have to push yourself to be more outgoing. Even if they all seem like friends, they are probably not as close as you think. The trick for us introverts is to act less serious and a bit more silly. Don’t try to be perfect and just go for it.
Hi Steve:) great article! Made me get off my sofa and go to a salsa class with meet up that I was thinking of skipping!
Could you suggest good chatting lines to use in a group of new people xx
We are always so connected! Just received an invitation for the 30th Bday of my ex housemate on January 31st. Guess, what I will reply: YES! YA! OUI!
When I stay with co workers or the same few friends during the weekend, I feel bored. I think I am not growing and experiencing exciting parts of life. It’s important to get out of our comfort zone regurlarly and challenge ourselves. It might be scary at times but we are so proud and truly feel alive once we tried.
Your article really goes with a video Matt posted a few weeks ago called “1 simple mindset for a great social life”. When I feel lazy, low on energy and already ready to stay at home with my pizza and my laptop on Friday/Saturday nights, I always remember that line “You can always go home.” It motivates me to get out there, meet new people even if we might not end up becoming best friends and enjoy it. Husseys’ brothers, so brilliant.
Thanks for the article.
Stephen, I swear you are psychic! :) I get an invite to a coffee/ networking event and documentary night and although I originally said yes, was having second thoughts. Then I saw your article!! Went and had fun !! Was able to “practice” conversations with a different personality ( more assertive about my views and confidence – it was a documentary after all ;) ) and met a number of new people and had some interesting conversations. Got a bit of a flirt in, here and there too. ;)
Thanks for the great article!! I will look for opportunities to widen my circle. I hope to be able to change my views on investment bankers, too!! ;) Thanks again Steve for another inspiring article, that came at the perfect time!!
You’re -this was insightful. This article spoke to me. Your writing is beautifully written.
You know, I hate these challenges, but if it means meeting new people and exploring myself, well improving my social skills-I’m in!
Good article Stephen!
Worth applying tips. Well noted;)
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