How to Be Confident in Spite of Your Insecurities

Happy New Year!

Do you want to be more confident this year? No, really. Not just say it, but BE it? Do you finally want to step into your life, feeling not just comfortable in your own skin, but owning it, ready to take on whatever challenges come your way?

If so, these 7 minutes might be the most important 7 minutes you’re going to have today, because they are going to shape your mindset for the entire year. Seriously.

Master Your Ingredients & Create a Beautiful Life.
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Matthew Hussey:
Hello, we’re back again. Another year. This is the first video of a new year. We always start New Year’s with this sense of hitting reset, don’t we? There’s a freshness to it. Ah, a new year. It’s like taking out a new journal and beginning afresh on a blank page. I said to Harry, “Can we find a shot in the house somewhere where we can go where there’s not Christmas decorations around me?” And then there’s a lot over here on this side as well.

Harry Hussey:
You have not got the movement to do…

Matthew Hussey:
And I thought, you know what? It doesn’t matter. The decorations don’t suddenly go away, do they, because it’s a new year? They don’t just evaporate. We have to then put the Christmas decorations away to begin the next year. Life is a bit like that, isn’t it? It operates on a continuum. We all thought COVID, 2020. COVID. Well, not really. COVID doesn’t care about our calendar year any more than our problems do or our insecurities do. I like the idea that we write down on a piece of paper our New Year’s resolutions. “I want to do… I’m going to be confident this year,” and then all of a sudden, there’s that little voice in our head that says, “You do realize we still hate ourselves, don’t you?” And you go, “But why are you still here? It’s 2021. Why are you still here?”

Because it’s still there. That’s what life does. It’s just, our problems continue, and it’s up to us to deal with them. Since life is all just a continuum, at any point, we can decide to disrupt the patterns that we live by on that continuum. And now, the beginning of a new year, is as good a time as any to do that, because we want to start living the life we want today. We want to be happier or more confident or more at peace or more at ease with ourselves or more clear about our direction and intentional today, not next year, because we want the benefits today. That’s the reason to do it right now, is not because it’s the beginning of January, but because we want the benefits of change now.

I have a clip that was taken from a video that Stephen, my brother Stephen Hussey, and I did together that was all about how to be the most confident version of yourself. And I think that it’s a wonderful time for us to release this clip. I know you’re going to love this. Check it out, and I’ll see you back here at the end of the video.

Stephen Hussey:
Hey, Matt. I have a question for the podcast. I would be really interested in the insecurities that you have to struggle with, because you are one of the most confident people here on social media and a great role model, and that’s why I’m always wondering if there’s anything you have to struggle with.

Matthew Hussey:
I don’t know if I’m one of the most confident people on social media.

Stephen Hussey:
That’s a big claim. Luckily, she said it. So, her words.

Matthew Hussey:
You would never catch me saying that about myself.

Stephen Hussey:
People do describe you as, to me, as, “Matt’s so confident in himself,” and they feel like you got it made.

Matthew Hussey:
Right. I think I have all the same insecurities as other people. I think it’s always the extent to which your insecurities dominate you.

Stephen Hussey:
Yeah, because what is that, then? If you’ve got all the insecurities other people have, is it just perception, that you’re perceived as more confident? Because I think there is a level of confidence in you that many other people don’t possess. But as your brother, I know there are things, like all of us, there are things you think, “Oh, I’d like that to be a bit different about myself,” or, “I don’t feel great in my body today,” or this. So, what do you think that is? Do you think you just are good at overcoming those or not letting those define you, how you’re going to come across?

Matthew Hussey:
I think it’s a combination of things. Firstly, you do what you can where you can, right? So, you work on your body to the extent that you can. Your looks, you work on them to the extent that you can. You do what you can with what you have. Being confident isn’t about accepting the worst version of yourself. You figure out what power you have over certain things. We can all groom, shape ourselves, look after ourselves in order to look better and feel better, if we’re talking about physical, for example, which is a major area of insecurity for a lot of people. And then past that point, I think confidence can be a combination of self-acceptance and fatalism, self-acceptance in that you grow to love… We talk about this on the retreat. You love yourself because you’re all you have and because you’re someone that you’re responsible for, right?

People don’t love their kids because they’re the best. They love their kids because they’re responsible for their kids and because they want the best for them. So, that’s the self-acceptance part. The fatalistic part is the part where you go, “Fuck it. No matter how much I worry about this thing, it isn’t going to get better.” Me worrying that I don’t look as hot as that person isn’t going to make me hotter.

I’m here on this earth once, and this is what I have. So, let me go and make the most of that and stop worrying that I’m not as whatever as this person, because I’m not. I’m just not. There’s certain things I’m never going to be, and I think that when you get comfortable with that and when you get fatalistic about it, then you just go, “Well, then, I’ll do the best I can with that.”

That guy is not better than me because he was born better looking or taller or whatever. That’s the lottery he won. Right? We won certain lottery tickets, too, but it doesn’t make someone better than me that they had different resources, that they were gifted different things at the outset. That doesn’t make anyone better than me. It just means that’s what they got.

So, this is what I’ve got. My whole game in life is, what can I do with that? What can I do with that? This is what I got. What can I do with it? That, to me, is what makes your life a work of art.

Stephen Hussey:
It’s like, how can I play the game with these cards? What kind of game could I play with these cards?

Matthew Hussey:
Yes. Yeah. What art could I make out of the… It’s like in… What are the shows like MasterChef or whatever, where they just get given a handful of random ingredients?

Stephen Hussey:
Right. Right. Yeah. Yeah.

Matthew Hussey:
Like, a bit of carrot. Here’s some cinnamon. Here’s some creme fraiche. Here’s a bit of salmon. And they’re just like, “Go for it.” They don’t sit there for the next hour that they have crying over the ingredients.

Stephen Hussey:
Dang. I bloody wish I had some creme fraiche right now.

Matthew Hussey:
No. They go, “I’ve got an hour. I’ve got one hour to make the most of these ingredients, and how good of a chef I am has zero to do with these ingredients. It has everything to do with how I use the… I’m not going to be graded on how good of a draw I did in the beginning on my ingredients. That’s not what MasterChef is about.” Is it even MasterChef, the show that I’m talking about? It’s one of them.

Stephen Hussey:
It’s one of those.

Matthew Hussey:
It’s one of the shows where they get given the ingredients.

Stephen Hussey:
It’s one of the 1,000 cooking shows.

Matthew Hussey:
I’m not going to get graded on… Like I drew the… They don’t all draw ingredients, so then the show ends there and they go, “Well, Jonathan won because he drew a bit of steak and some garlic butter and some asparagus,” and-

Stephen Hussey:
“Jonathan got the rib eye. No one’s going to top that.”

Matthew Hussey:
Yeah. “Call it. Call it. Jonathan’s drawn the rib eye.” That’s not the show. That wouldn’t be a show. Right? It’s not roulette. It’s, the show is they all get given ingredients. Let’s now see how great of a chef they are. That’s life. We all got ingredients. We’re not going to be great… Anyone we’re talking to isn’t going to grade you on your ingredients. They’re going to grade you on, what did you do with those ingredients? Now you’re a chef. Be a chef. Don’t be someone who’s trying to draw a good hand.

Matthew Hussey:
Even if no one ever realizes what you did with those ingredients, you do, and that’s worth noting too. Go back and look at what you did with your… If you want confidence, look at what you already did with a bunch of your ingredients. What did you already do? Where have you already been a chef in your life, and that you’re not giving yourself enough credit for? Because if you look at that, you’ll see-

Stephen Hussey:
We forget those really quickly, right? We forget really quickly the amazing recipes we have put together.

Matthew Hussey:
Yep.

Stephen Hussey:
Because we just move on from that and go, “Yeah, but I haven’t achieved this, or “-

Matthew Hussey:
Yeah, because you’re always looking at the meal that you haven’t cooked, but look at the ones you already cooked. That’s amazing. If I want to get ridiculously confident right now, all I need to do is look at the meals I already cooked, and then I’m going to go, “My God.” And I cooked those meals with who I was five years ago or 10 years ago. I was a much worse chef then than I am today, and look what already cooked. So, imagine what meal I can cook today with what I have.

Whatever ingredients you find yourself starting with this year, don’t judge the ingredients. The ingredients aren’t your art. The way you use them is. And by the way, if you want to use your ingredients to full effect to see what’s possible for you… And I really believe that our minds today cannot even conceive of what’s possible, what our ingredients could become a year from now, five years from now, 10 years from now.

When I look back on my life, no matter how big I dreamed, I know there were things that I’ve been able to do and create and make happen that were beyond anything I could have conceived of then. If you want to find out what is possible for you, in March, I have my second-ever virtual live retreat. We did it once back in October of 2020. It was a huge success, and there were people from all over the world who attended my live retreat for the first time because they’d never been able to get to the in-person retreat I do in Florida every year.

So, if you’re one of them and you want to try my live retreat for the first time ever, come join us in March. I will leave a link right here. And I hope to see you there. Thank you so much, guys. Welcome to another year. I’m excited to be on the journey with you once again, and as always, I will see you next week.

 

13 Responses to How to Be Confident in Spite of Your Insecurities

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  1. Lori R says:

    Brilliant analogy, Matthew.

  2. Jessa C says:

    You are right Matthew!

    Everybody here won the lottery of something. We also are the chef of our life.

    So, let’s cooking !!!

    Jessa

  3. Cheri says:

    Mathew , love this video. The clip you included is so authentic and real. The idea of the ingredients we get and what we do with them is such a wonderful way to think about it it’s like picking up the baton lightening your load of baggage and focusing g on what you can do all in one . A massive way to reframe everyday ! What can we do with what we have got ? What xphave we already made that was amazing . Like the excercise for looking at what you have achieved that five years ago you were looking at as a goal now you don’t give yourself enough credit, Your energy in this video is the best. The retreat program is so powerful go it will change your life. You get to get this man fand his amazing team or a couple of days

  4. Victoria Montemayor says:

    You are a beautiful human! I also try to become aware of moments when our “deck of cards” changes, that way we can respond to the change instead of trying to do what worked before (covid is a great example of some people wanting to “go back” to the way things were when the cards have irrevocably changed).

    All I do is acknowledge “oh, I’ve got a new set of cards, what do I want to do with these?” and it puts me back in the driver’s seat. Great content, MH team!

  5. Rianna McGee says:

    Oh for the love!!! My number is
    (530)315-2707

  6. Rianna says:

    Listen Matthew… I’m the woman you have been looking for. Come over for dinner or just hit me up at (530)315-2708. I’m a real person and everything you’ve been looking for. You like roast beef or Hispanic? Because there is literally 2 dishes I know really well. I hope your pick is Mexican lol.

  7. Macklean says:

    Dear Matthew.
    Thanks for reminding us to use the ingredients we got in life to change our future.
    More so to use abilities / talents to be what we want to be in life.
    Taking this piece of advise positively to overcome my insecurities in 2021.

  8. Mary says:

    How much is the virtual retreat in March?

    Thanks,

    Mary

  9. Debs says:

    Brilliant analogy. Perfect video to start the new year.

  10. Valerie Wax says:

    Right now I am having some health issues so I’m not sure if I can make this seminar. I would lie to try. How much is it?

  11. Always smile says:

    That’s great advice Matthew and I do feel this way about myself, I’m now in my late 40,s and think I look pretty darn good if I say do myself, lol, especially for my age, which I don’t even look. I’ve got a good job & am financially independent & definitely have my shit together. I’m only single again as my 20 year relationship ended, which was out of necessity as it was becoming so unhealthy & was beginning to become unsafe to stay. That was 7 years ago, I never have any problems getting dates but what always surprises me, is the men I’ve dated, pick out the very few negatives, including my physical flaws instead of seeing all the positives & what I’ve got to offer. I’m an upbeat happy positive person so I tend to end things when that starts happening as I don’t need constant criticism & negativity, & after a while of receiving it, it just starts to get to me & bring me down, even though I’ve spoken to them about it & pointed out it’s not something I need or want. But the behaviour doesn’t generally change… I’m always about liking people for exactly who they are, as opposed to what they just look like or what they do or don’t have to offer me financially, but I think now, is it just their own insecurities that does this, otherwise why are they even with me in the first place if that’s really how they see me. I just don’t get it. And it’s happened a few times now & I feel like these guys have just wasted my time, as at the start everything is good, it generally appears after about 3 months in. Often I earn more than them, & have my own house, whereas a lot of the guys I’ve dated don’t nor are they in the same financial position, but that never has concerned me nor have I ever made them feel inadequate because of it, I honestly only try & see positives in people & just wanted to find a good decent kind person that treats me & my son right & that I can enjoy life with, but all the put downs & negativity is starting to get to me, so much so I’m having a good break from dating, and even now think the idea of ever finding love again is perhaps just not for me. It seems most guys just want sex and nobody seems to want anything real anymore. I’ve even questioned my judgement in picking men. I never ever thought it would be so hard to find decent compatible people that I was also attracted to and was previously so excited by the future & by the prospect of perhaps even finding love again, but my experiences have certainly changed my view on that. Thought perhaps you could shed some light on this behaviour? I even question if I’m doing something wrong, but honestly, I don’t think it’s me, & my male friends agree. I’m a good kind hearted person & don’t judge people & would never treat people the way I’ve been treated, as I know how upsetting that is & how that feels. I’m actually quite mortified how people can be so mean & quite shocked by some of the poor behaviours I’ve been exposed to. Even my brother said these guys are just embarrassing to aussie men.

  12. Bel says:

    Love this video. I have been following your work for a long time. Totally should have put a clip of your first clips. Would have shown how beautiful it really is cooking something amazing without great ingredients. Nothing cuter than a young Matthew cooking away at what it would have become.

  13. Arlene says:

    Love this Analogy!!!!! Love the idea of looking back at the meals you already cooked.
    Thank you and Happy New Year!

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