Why are you thinking about getting your ex back?
I know why.
It’s because you’re heartbroken. Devastated. You can only see your future right now as being miserable so long as this guy is out of your life.
So let me start by reassuring you: these feelings are completely normal and we all have had them.
In this short article, I want to explain how you should come to the decision of trying to get your ex back, because it’s not a decision that should be taken lightly.
Here are 3 cardinal truths that you MUST read so that you know what to do first:
Truth No. 1 – Just missing him is NOT a good enough reason to get your ex back
It’s very easy to miss relationships that weren’t necessarily good for us in the long-term.
Ask yourself before you move on: Did your ex actually fulfill all your emotional needs while you were together? Did he treat you in a way you would want to be treated for the rest of your life?
These questions are worth stopping to reflect on.
But so many of us get caught up in the terror of losing someone that we forget to ask whether it’s even a good idea to want them back in our lives.
Truth No. 2 – You cannot attract your ex back into your life, until you have changed your life
Don’t get me wrong here, I’m not saying you should change to win back your ex.
But when you’ve just broken up, it’s likely you’ll be in a rough place. In this heightened emotional state, it’s impossible to take the steps you need to attract your ex back from a high-value place.
More likely, you’ll make some rash move that will freak your ex out and make him see you as needy or unable to move on, which will only repel him way even more.
Which is why you have to move on first before you ever win your ex back.
This sounds very counter-intuitive, but when you start building your own life and moving on, taking positive steps in your own future, you’ll be coming from a position of power again where you feel confident and happy, and this is what is going to get your ex to see you in a new light.
Building a life that fulfils you on an emotional level is one of the keys to adding value to a guys life, and that’s what ultimately gets him to want you more than anyone else.
That’s why desperation and neediness are such turn-offs, because they make a man feel like you are only wanting to take from him, instead of coming from a place of making his world better. In fact, apart from the fact that a man may simply be in the wrong stage of his life, this is the no.1 reason why men won’t commit, even if they are more attracted to you than anyone else.
Truth No. 3 – Accept that you won’t win him back overnight
This is one of the most difficult to face, but right now putting distance between you and your ex is absolutely crucial.
As soon as the relationship ends, send your ex a short note or email saying goodbye and acknowledging any mistakes, then do not contact him for at least a month.
That means…Don’t Facebook like his pics, don’t send any texts or voicemails, and don’t meet up for a “coffee”.
This No-Contact period is the essential first step. It’s what allows you to move on and build up your own life so that you can re-contact your ex later feeling like a new, reinvigorated person. He’ll see all the changes you’ve made in your life and will be curious to know what else you’ve been up to since the break up.
Then, when you meet your ex, you need to take it slow. Build up the mystery and intrigue, and slowly gauge his intentions regarding getting back together.
But you cannot rush ANY of this. That’s the most crucial part.
And always remember: you have to move on from your ex, before you can have him back in your life.
That might sound tough but look at it this way: even if things don’t work out, you’ll be proceeding with your life going onward and upwards, whether he comes along for the ride or not. If you want more on devising a game plan for attracting him again, make sure you read my article on How To Get Him Back.