How to Make a Guy Want You For More Than ONE Night

So you slept with a guy.

But now you wake up and have that awkward moment…

I get it. You want to play it cool, but you also want to make sure this guy knows you’re interested.

So here are 3 killer techniques that will make him desperate to see you again…

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46 Replies to “How to Make a Guy Want You For More Than ONE Night”

  • But what if I want to Netflix and chill? That sounds like a perfect date night for me.

    Do I have to make a pretense about fussy dates and dinners when I only want to do those occasionally?

  • Hey Matt …..about the netflix and chill …what if you’re the type of girl who does indeed respect herself but ….has had enough of formal dinners and actually prefers to ”netflix and chill” …and maybe would feel more comfortable getting to know him in this casual way ….I am someone who indeed is a busy person …for me going to a dinner would be great but sometimes i feel like it’s a bit too formal and forced …i actually think i might be more comfortable skipping the dinner and netflix and chilling with him ….let me know how that sounds to you

  • agreed. same question here. I have standards.. but a girl can be comfortable with her sexuality. not like it’s a random person. what if we’ve gotten to know each other over text and the phone.. we’re both fresh back on the dating scene after breakups and still slowly recovering and want to take it slow, not a forced setting.. agreed on no sex asap nothing wrong w a hug /cuddle etc if there’s chemistry. i’ve done the dinner and formal dates just to find out the guy is different or too uptight.

  • Hey Matthew how are you? My name is Ulanda and I’m in a bit of an emotional pickle. I have had a casual friendship with a guy whom I’ve know since I was 21yr and we’ve been casual for 15 years and have never dated one another. I’ve been single 8-9 years and he just got out of a 4 month relationship which turned out was based on lies and the female put her hands on him and he didn’t press charges because her 2 sons would been put in foster care. Anyway I know were things stand with us in that I’ve allowed him to put me in a certain category as to what “type” of female I’am to him and I don’t like. He’s smart,funny,efucated and so down to earth but I’m worried about what my emotional reaction will be and his if I tell him I want a committed relationship which is going to be hard since I just took a new job and moved an hour and a half away 4 weeks ago. I need your advice should I even bother to ask him for a relationship or look for a new guy in my new town I just moved to. Thanks Ulanda

  • It sucks I meet a guy get to know him and it just ends up being SEX great sex but still sex how do I the guy and my happiness?

  • He doesn’t contact you back because he got what he wanted, sex. Trust me it’s not the first time I’ve been thru this with men. I’m to the point where I’m not interested in sex until a few dates then I’ll know if he’s interested in me for me and not just sex.

    1. Well, the last time I started to sleep with a man (and we still moving forward on the relationship ;P)He started to touch me, and I based my response on Matt’s “I value myself, but I’m not prude” messages I told him: “I should stop you, but I’m liking it” with a smile, then he said, “Oh, I’m moving too fast?” and we started talk about it. I told him how important is this for me, that I won’t do that lightly just for “fun” (Any way he told me already “I love you” some time before and made me feel his worth) Men feel happy too when they know they are not a “hook up” Good luck!

    2. I agree with you, Men are very unpredictable, it’s happened to me few month ago I met a guy and we had so much in common so I felt we connected, i had sex with him and we continue chatting for like two months then he told me that he is not ready for a serious relationship, it broke my heart and I felt like he used me to get what he want and now he try to make me feel cool that we can just be friends :(

  • Matthew….
    That’s really a tease for you to make a video with you lying in bed and being so …. sexy. You’re making it hard to focus on getting the other guys. ☺️

  • I think there are à lots of questions inside :
    1. Are the bouth parteners honest with each other? It’s very rare , when bouth feel the same way: more often, one who lové, other – who let him(her) to, one Who wants just sex without commitments, the other- is thinking about lové.
    . Is it possible not to hurry, when your émotions are more strong thén your mind? How to get more information, what is your partener thinking about? Mabe just ask him? What he(she) really feels ans wants? Let’s speak before sex also, not only after.))mabe the answers would help us to be more clear in behavior with partener?
    2. Are the bouth or one of the parteners drunk or not? If yes – Variation on vidéo. If not- look the question above.))
    3. Are we the prisoners of our modern morals and way of having fun? Mabe it’s more easy to buy à prostitute, intim game or just use your hand, when fever is making your mind not so clear and we want to use pretty or handsome person just for fun? We are not only animals, don’t we? ))
    4. How can we learn empathie- to read réal émotions of person by his (her) face and body expressions, by the talk, by the situation, and not to lie to ourselves, to respect our soul and mind more, thén to follow our passion heart.
    5. Mabe finally we like sometimes to play this games, to jump in the sea without fear and not to think about next day. Get pleasure, have fun, but after don’t struggle with your conscience, don’t make an illusions. In this world woman décidés, who is she and what she wants, yes, but man also. All of us need to be loved, but not everyone is agrée for the animal minimum.
    6. How to find réal lové, when in modern world to have sex is just like to brush teath? And parteners run away in the morning ‘cos they don’t recognise à new after drunk party face on a pillow? But in the same times lové without sensual émotions and désire can’t exist. It’s à friendship or agly marriage.))))

  • Hey Matt,
    Any time you have these links to download, I fill them in but I never get any sent to me in my email/junk mail. Something’s going on there with your links.
    Cheers Debs

  • Sure. But what if you slept together in your place? You cant say i have a busy day today, it will be like telling him to go away.
    And what if he doesnt have to do something special that day. What kind of text do you send then? “Last night was great. have a nice day”?
    And i hate morning breath, so whats wrong with making breakfast first and then being affectionate..

  • That is wonderful advice! Thanks Matthew! Hugs! Always right on point! ;) I have been dating a fella for 4 months now…Starting to think if it will go to this next the next little while…I am very “old school”…and don’t do one night stands…There has to be a certain commitment before I sleep with anybody…

  • Hi Matt! Thank you for your awesome advice. I have a question I hope you’ll find time to address: how do I get over regret about the mistakes I made in a past relationship? It’s been a little over a year since I broke up with my ex-boyfriend of two years, and I just can’t help but think about the mistakes I’d been making that inevitably led to the break-up (like expressing jealousy in a hysterical way, constantly controlling him, pressuring him to commit, etc.). This is not to say that I put all the blame on myself, I know that both partners are always to blame for the break-up, but I can’t help wondering if maybe things could have worked out if only I hadn’t been doing certain things. The thought of me being responsible for ruining something that could have been happiness and maybe even losing my potential soulmate (now I’ll never even get to find out for sure if he was or wasn’t the one) is just unbearable, and I don’t know how to move on from this position of regret, especially knowing that at this point he is not interested in giving it one more shot, me being the one who broke up with him in the first place. Thank you so much in advance, may there be more people in the world as wise and kind as you are! -Maria

    1. Maria – I have to say that I was in a similar situation a few years ago. I had that same thought over and over…”if I had only done/not done this…it would have worked out.” But here’s something to think about…

      People come into our lives to teach us more about life and lessons we may need to learn. By looking back at your relationship with him, it sounds like you have learned a lot about what worked and what didn’t work. It sounds like you’ve learned a lot about yourself and the person you want to be moving forward. That is fantastic! That means you can use that with everyone you meet moving forward. It means you can better understand how to communicate your feelings in a positive way. By looking back on that relationship, you are able to learn and grow and be that much more prepared for the next person.

      I always keep this in mind “the universe loves you and wants you to be happy.” Could you have been happy with him? Maybe, but maybe he was just a teacher of a lesson you needed to learn in this life. The great news is that there are many paths to happiness and just because one thing didn’t work out, doesn’t mean you ruined it. I promise you that is not how life works unless you let your mind tell you that it does.

      I know it may be hard but I literally felt the same way you did for a long time after my ex. I still think he was a great guy and if I was different, it could have worked out…but I never would have learned the lessons I did if that was the case. I had to break open (very painfully) to be able to grow. And now looking back, years later, I have grown so much and experienced so much I never would have without him. AND, my idea about the type of person I want to be with has changed so much and he doesn’t even fit anymore.

      I hope that you can ruminate on these words a bit and maybe they help you on your journey. Once I realized there’s no “messing up fate,” it was very freeing and I have met so many amazing people. Good luck to you.

  • Matt – love this video. Really great advice! Question: how should approach dating an older man? Like a decade or so older – I’m attracted to someone who I feel is attracted to me as well, I’m definitely going to go for it I’m not backing away because of the age gap but any tips on handling the inevitable differences would be appreciated.

  • Hi Matt,

    I have been following you for some time.. However I never got to use any advice you give as most of the times they don’t even apply to my weird situations.. I always find myself in bad and weird situations honestly..

    I met a guy a year ago, we started as friends with benefits as I really didn’t see him as a relationship material. He is 5 years younger than me ( I am 31, he is 26) He is a playboy and have lots of fwb besides me.. And yes like every doomed FWB relationship I started to have feelings for him. But mainly because he gave me mixed signals about our relationship. He said things hinting that he only does some things with me, he said while he is not a guy that enjoys kissing much he loves and has pleasure when kissing me.. He sees me like a friend he could also talk to besides getting physical. However at times he also reminded me how he could care less about me.. I came to care, value and then love him. I told him my feelings and he said ” I never gave you any hope, I never taken you out to a date. I have many things to do and I don’t want a relationship. ”

    It pained me to hear those even though I guessed. I wished he didn’t treat me more than a FWB at times when he has given me false hope.. I thought we had a connection deeper than just any physical relation he got with someone else besides me. I cooked for him, he made me stay over whenever we met and one day I even put his luggage together when he was going to travel. Whenever I spend the night with him, he used me like a placeholder girlfriend for the night.

    I still had hope and answered when he texted to see me. I wished I cut him when he told me he didn’t want a relationship but like many woman I had hope. Maybe he would realise I meant more to him.. But I was wrong as he proved to me many times; to him I am just a body.. meat..

    I was hurt, cried for a long time.Cried because I am a very attractive, sexy and a high value woman with virtue and brains; I degraded myself to his cheap thrills. I tried to get over him by meeting other men. I have to admit I even spent time with his best friend.. To get over or hurt him I don’t even know myself..

    But Feelings of longing keeps coming back. It has been over a month we last spoke, he was hurtfull when I refused to his group sex proposal. He evenr tried to manipulate me using these exact words ” Can’t you sacrifice yourself for me?” I replied “What will you sacrifice for me?” with no answer back.. I know even if I were to have a serious relationship with him because of his past playboy life he may never be satisfied with only one woman because I feel like when desires of flesh gets more and more extreme he may never be satisfied with “normal” desires anymore..

    I really hope that one day I can have someone that values me more than anything and afraid to break my heart more than he is afraid of being his heart broken.

    And One day hopefully I can use your advices to my dating life..

    1. Oh wow!

      I have been in a similar situation recently. Met this guy last year who is 6 years elder to me, I am 30 and he is 36, who wanted to ‘make me happy.’ I have been married for the past 4 years and was going through a rough phase with my husband, things were not working well at all. So I thought I would give this one a chance after having tried nearly everything with my husband.

      He pretended to be nice, insisted that he wanted to get to know me and I agreed. He even talked about future plans with me the first time we met. Maybe it was my mistake to have slept with him too early, just a few weeks after we first met. His behaviour changed as from the very next day, texting less, and finding excuses whenever I asked to meet up. He admitted that he just wanted to have sex when he first met me but even then he still gave me hope by saying that he then got to know me and changed his mind. I still believed him, and did everything for this to work, but he kept me at a distance and finally said he wanted only a physical relationship since I am married.

      I agreed to this FWB relationship but I knew I deserved better – I am young, attractive and smart. There was this thing that was keeping me attracted to him and part of me was still searching for that person he pretended to be at the beginning. Of course, it did not work as he would flirt with other girls in front of me, he would not care about me, and he’s hurt me so many times, sometimes even publicly. I still cry and feel pained when I think of how badly he has treated me.

      We decided to stop, until he gave me hope again a few months back. He got jealous when he thought that I was interested in another guy. Do people without feelings behave that way? We spent a passionate night together and agreed to continue to this. But he disappeared the next day and did not contact me although he said he would. When I asked for an explanation after some days, he said that he got back with his ex girlfriend.. I was devastated. After a few weeks, I got separated from my husband and contacted him again, thinking we could now have a real story since he would mostly attribute the FWB relationship to me being married. He simply rejected me.. I fail to understand this guy, he pretended to want a relationship at first, then that he did not want complications and preferred being FWB, then however had a few real girlfriends with real relationships, and now he does not want a relationship again.

      No one has ever been so vile with me and I am still trying to get over him. Whenever I see him now, I pretend that I am totally cool and that he does not affect me in any way.

      I can understand how you feel.. Even I feel degraded for having let such a person into my life. I have always been righteous and held high values. He was even the only other person I ever slept with apart from my husband.

      I just wish I had never met him… But I know that even today, if he asks, I will get back with him as deep inside I still want to be with him. I have never known such passion, but it is not worthy of the pain it brought me.

      1. Arya, his behaviour sounds very similar to someone I know who has Narcissitic Personality Disorder. There are classic traits and it is very powerful in relationships in the ways you describe, and his hold over you. Only a trained professional could diagnose but it is worth reading up on as it could give you valuable insights into why he is treating you so badly and how to take back control. Very best wishes xx

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