How to Make a Man Want You for MORE Than One Night

If you want to understand how to make a man want you, then read this quick story right now…

Tom was getting freaked out.

He had only met Amanda a week ago. Now they were in his bed making out, taking each other’s clothes off. But that wasn’t the part that freaked him out. That was the good part.

What was more strange was what Amanda was saying to him. At various points in between kissing she kept asking, “Are you going to see me again after this?”

Needless to say, it totally pulled him out of the moment. He wasn’t sure what to respond, mostly because it had only been one or two dates. He didn’t really know her well enough to say what was going to happen.

how to make a guy want you

I heard this story from a friend of mine (Don’t worry: I’ve changed the names involved!)

It’s obvious what’s going on here: Amanda is trying to get clear about Tom’s intentions for the relationship. The only problem is: They don’t have a relationship yet.

This is a classic example of “jumping the gun,” and it’s what scares the hell out of guys and often leads them to fade away after one night of fun, instead of following up for another date.

In this short article, I’m going to explain why women make this mistake and show how to make a guy want you for MORE than just a one-night fling.

Don’t Scare Him Off With Needy Behaviour

Let’s go back to the story above.

You might read it and think that Tom just sounds like a “hit-it-and-quit-it” sort of guy, and that the reason he doesn’t feel comfortable answering Amanda’s question is because he never had any intention of calling her again in the first place.

While that’s not impossible, it’s probably NOT the real reason in this case.

What is more likely freaking him out about Amanda is her insecurity. In expressing her fear that Tom might not want to see her again, she’s exposing her neediness, which is killing Tom’s attraction to her.

Instead of simply saying to herself: I’m not going to sleep with him until I’m certain he sees this going somewhere, Amanda is trying to get Tom to pre-commit to another date before they’ve even finished this one.

Tom understandably gets freaked out, especially since he’s a good guy who doesn’t want to feel guilty later down the line for hurting someone if he ends up wanting to call it quits.

2 Things That Make A Man Want You…

It is often believed that there is some magical number of dates that have to be ticked off before you should sleep with a guy. Usually about three.

I’m not going to patronize you with that advice, because let’s be real: You’re a grown woman. You can do whatever you want. If you want to have sex with a guy and it seems like it will be a fun experience, have sex with him. There’s no judgment here.

When it comes to your sexual activity, only you can decide the “rules” about what is and isn’t right for you.

That said, here is my ONLY rule: Only do whatever will make you feel comfortable, happy, and respected afterwards.

For example:

  • If, for you, it’s an ABSOLUTE rule that you never have sex with a guy until you know  100% he wants a relationship, then you probably shouldn’t sleep with him on a first date.
  • If you’re more flexible and are happy to have sex with a guy as long as you know he’s decent and has your best interests at heart, then wait as long as it takes for you to know that about him.
  • If you just want to get laid and have fun with a hot guy, then go for it.

What matters is sticking to YOUR OWN BOUNDARIES. A high-value woman makes choices that make her feel comfortable and happy.

And this is ultimately what turns guys on for more than one night. Seeing a woman stick to her own standards is inherently sexy, especially if you make him feel desired at the same time.

Use This Sneaky Technique To Make Him Crazy For You!

Men are powerfully attracted to women who combine sticking to their BOUNDARIES with the ability to also make him feel DESIRE.

For example, you might make out with him on your couch, get hot and heavy, have fun, but then say: “As hot as I’m finding you right now, I don’t sleep with guys this quickly” and then wait another date or two before having sex (even if you end up doing other things first!)

This is something I talk about a lot in my How To Talk To Men program, especially in my chapter on “How To Respond To The Late Night Booty Call.” In this scenario, you need to combine self-respect with also showing a guy that it’s ok for him to have sexual desire for you. This way your denial only makes him MORE attracted to you, instead of registering in his head as a rejection.

But remember, denying a guy sex isn’t what makes him chase you more. You could sleep with a guy pretty fast, but if he sees that you don’t make a big deal of it and that you still require other kinds of qualities and emotional investment on his part for you to stick around, he’ll know that you’re a woman of value who won’t just be there whenever he feels like it.

Ultimately, what makes a man want you for more than one night isn’t about when you have sex. It’s about him seeing you do what makes you the most comfortable and not compromising on your standards just because you like him.

P.S. If you enjoyed this post but are still stumped on how to blow away a guy on the first date, check out my article on How To Make A Guy Want You in the first 60 seconds!

 

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24 Replies to “How to Make a Man Want You for MORE Than One Night”

  1. I really like this Stephen, and it’s timely. I am curious though as to an issue I have been grappling with. I do want to wait, and have been more mindful of taking more time to get to know someone before hopping in bed with them. Makes life simpler. However, I have previously been in a relationship where our libidos were not matched….for whatever reason, it just didn’t work in that area. So now I am too worried about getting too emotionally invested in someone before finding out whether we have chemistry or compatibility in the bedroom…..how to balance those two….not having sex, but also knowing that, for me, sexual incompatibility is a deal-breaker, has been a struggle. Thoughts on this Stephen? Is there a way to figure out if you are sexually compatible with someone before even getting between the sheets? What if you’re not sure if there is sexual tension….when should one be sure there is sexual tension? This is confusing.

  2. Make him wait within reason.
    A friend of mine told me his ex made him wait 2 months, and he was alright with it, because to him it meant she wasn’t just in it for the sex. He also told me, any guy who has a problem with waiting never wanted anything serious. Because if he cared for her…where’s the problem? As long as she’s reasonable and doesn’t drag it too many months.

  3. This article kind of confused me.

    “Seeing a woman stick to her own standards is inherently sexy, especially if you make him feel desired at the same time.”
    He may desire you but he may not change his standards to yours based on desire. I think you’re overestimating the power of desire a bit here.

    “get hot and heavy, have fun, but then say: “As hot as I’m finding you right now, I don’t sleep with guys this quickly” and then wait another date or two before having sex (”
    Yeah, but can you get hot and heavy and wait a month or two? What about a year or two? Two dates is not that long a time, really.

    I have the How To Talk To A Man program. The thing is I think sexual compatibility is a thing. It’s not difficult to create desire in a man. But I think each man will only wait so long and that time period has to be compatible with the woman’s time period or it won’t work.

    There is sort of an assumption out there that everyone is going to have sex eventually in a few months or there isn’t desire. Or if you want to wait longer than that you have to find some religious guy even if you aren’t religious.

    If it’s okay for a woman to have her own standards, then why aren’t the examples you give about women who want to wait months, if that’s her standard? Why aren’t they about doing other things in the relationship to keep the man interested besides physical things? Your programs touch on this, but there is always this underlying assumption people are going to have sex, relatively soon. (Whatever ‘soon’ may mean.) I just wish the programs (and this article) went further into situations where one isn’t religious, one isn’t a virgin, but one creates desire with someone she isn’t ready to sleep with. For a while.

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