“I’m Crazy For Him, But He Lives In Another Country. Am I Screwed?”
I get asked about long-distance relationships every single day. Everyone has that same problem: “I fell for him, he’s perfect. He’s the only one I want. But he lives in another country! Help!”
It’s a scary moment.
Do you risk all that time on something you don’t know will pay off? Or do you put on your realistic hat and tell yourself it can never work?
In this week’s episode of LOVELife, I talk to a caller who is in a major long-distance dilemma. Instead of rushing into anything crazy, we talk about the absolute KEY questions that have to be answered before you make the leap and have a relationship with a guy who lives far away.
10 Replies to ““I’m Crazy For Him, But He Lives In Another Country. Am I Screwed?””
So refreshing to watch this video. I was wondering the same thing, and its so fascinating to listen others in the same situation.
And Matthew nailed it as always, but I would have loved some more tips on how to keep a guy interested because “my” guy lives in the city Im moving to after graduation, so my chances are not that limited.
– 19 female from Norway
Great question. And great reply!
“Big difference between massive attraction and massive intention.”
Matthew, you have a way of putting important truths so succintly.
Thank you so much for all that you are doing. Having a male perspective is always great for women!
Matt, i enjoy you so much, so so so very much
Great one, as always
Great replay ! And my personal way to see it is very simple … Love is love and if this love is real everything is possible … !!
I’m in a similar situation. I have a friend from high school (20 yrs ago). We came together one weekend and decided to date. It started wonderfully, then I became too eager and confessed my love, he started getting distant. 3 months later of sporadic communication and we had a weekend together in Puerto Rico. I pushed the relationship questions again too hard and he broke things off. Saying we should go back to being friends. From his actions I feel he really cares about me, but isn’t ready for a relationship. (he’s studying for the bar exam) so I’m trying the ni contact rule then go back to being friends….. But the main problem in rebuilding the interest is that he’s in Florida and I’m in Ohio.
Is there any chance?
I really wish I had heard this a year ago, it could have saved a lot of tears and heartache.
Now, although we did all the things that you spoke about, the “relationship” is dying a slow and painful death, it just doesn’t seem to be sustainable anymore with an 11 hour time difference. He will be back in my home town for 10 days in May and as much as I want to see him and he keeps talking about seeing me I don’t know if I can… Self-preservation.
It is great to know that I can feel like this again after 10 years (since the last person I had this kind of connection with) but I am less certain that it is easy to find again. Sigh.
The phone conversation you had with “Ellie” I just finished hearing was very helpful to me, a 70 year old who has an interesting friendship with a gentleman in Hong Kong (an engineer engaged in his company there). It is still at a friendship stage and we have not actually met in person, so I’m taking your advice carefully and critically.
I believe I’m living out a fantasy that is U reachable!
Thank you so much for making that clear to me.
I’m on this situation, I am in Mexico, he is in Canada. In my case, I met this great man in an on-line game.I told him, that I want go slowly on this relationship and is been a year and a little more. And yes, he have to see our reality, first to see if it’s possible for us to make big changes in our lives. (I will let him come first, any way he invited me to spend time in a convention in July. Meeting in person is a big step)
My mom told me, “Are you sure he is what he says he is?” Well, girls, you should become Sherlock and see through things he shows to you, (I had another long distance relationship and thre was a cheating stuff… found a “In relationship” status on they FB)A bad signal is when doesn’t want share their network thing to you and is like an invisible man to you.
So, take care, slow down and enjoy!
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