Hi Matt :) I agree with this video 100%. I definitely have “the face” at times- though a lot less than before. I didn’t even realize I was doing “the face” until a few years ago a guy (who I have been acquainted with for several years before) asked me why I seemed to hate him. Of course, I didn’t hate him at all and told him as much. In short, he then kindly explained to me that I looked mad a lot. It was definitely an “aha” moment. I think women do it for different reasons. Mine was that I was socially uncomfortable and frustrated with myself for it, but others saw it as “she doesn’t like me”. I am much better now and have come a long way. There’s always room for improvement though, and this video was a nice reminder to be approachable. Thanks ^_^ Reply
166 Replies to “Important message to all of the intimidating ‘b*tches’ out there…”
Hi Matt :)
I agree with this video 100%. I definitely have “the face” at times- though a lot less than before. I didn’t even realize I was doing “the face” until a few years ago a guy (who I have been acquainted with for several years before) asked me why I seemed to hate him. Of course, I didn’t hate him at all and told him as much. In short, he then kindly explained to me that I looked mad a lot. It was definitely an “aha” moment.
I think women do it for different reasons. Mine was that I was socially uncomfortable and frustrated with myself for it, but others saw it as “she doesn’t like me”. I am much better now and have come a long way. There’s always room for improvement though, and this video was a nice reminder to be approachable.
Seriously? I actually think a relationship coach who refers to women as b*tches, is like Weight Watchers calling subscribers to their program pigs. This rant says a lot more about the ranter. Sign up for one of your programs? No thank you, I’m not a sadist.
I agree with u, Mat. I used to show a blank expression or even a sturn one most of da time. But I am tryin to change it. Thx for da tip.
This is my first time actually taking time to respond to one of your videos and the main reason is because of my concern for some of the ladies who are deeply offended with your nature to call some things as it is, in this case the term “Bitch”. And my message to those ladies is to “relax a little, please darlings” I think by being so offended we are missing the entire point of this message, I understand some of you up-hold certain principles, but the world isn’t so black and white dolls, there are indeed bitches out there and this video did exactly that, it reminded me how I do have the tendency to walk around with the most prudent face I’ve been wearing all this while. Yes, this is partially because I have been approached by my share of creeps. But what I believe Matt is trying to convey and at least what I’m taking away from this is I’m at the same time pushing away nice men from approaching me. I don’t know why I didn’t realize this up until now, but thank you Matt. I recently broke my ankle and i’m bed ridden for a while but if that’s not your case, go be the strong, confident, happy ladies you are meant to be every where you go, you have the right. Don’t let those mere creeps that will approach you hide behind that shadow of singlehood. You deserve to smile, it’s your right :)
One of my favourite comments on the entire blog. Thank you Addie.
I just want to say it made my day to see you respond so positively back to my comment :D I’d like to also add that your initial effort to take time to read and reply back to not only mine, but to others on here is sincerely appreciated, it makes watching and reading your video blogs that much more exciting. Thank-You!
Stay happy and stay positive always :)
Haha! very well said! I live in Canada, and I am planning to visit UK sometime soon-ish (September or so) I wish if I could meet you!! :)
What if your just really shy, I’ve read your male minds book, but I’m just really shy! And have little confidence so I come across as “why are you talking to me”
Lol okay so my real name isn’t actually Nervous… But whatever :p Anyway, there’s this really cute guy in one of my classes who I really want to get to know. I’m from a new intake which started a week ago in my college and he started 3 months ago. I would looooove to talk to him and I already know HOW (thanks to your advice on the favour asking part) but I’m just scared he’ll brush me off or not respond nicely… Basically I’m scared of rejection :( Help?
I loved youre rant, cool and super inspiring!
But I didnt need it anmore, you already changed me:-)))
Since being your regular reader I changed my life completely. Thanks to you I am smily, shiny, open and warm to all the people I meet and it works out PERFECTLY! My selfconfidence is so much bigger (one of your youtube-videos about selfconfidence and the right bodylanguage is my mantra). I flirt (which means I warmly communicate) with literally everyone – with old guys cleaning the streets, young businessmen in tho coffee and even with the shy, overweight IT guy fwith sweaty underarms from next office – no difference! And people love and appreciate it! Being sweet and communicative with EVERYBODY makes it so much easier to meet new people. My smily faces and easygoing, warma attitude makes people around me feel so good and so I dont ever want to go back to the old times when I was closed up girl, trying to avoid eye contact with strangers – yes, that made me look like a bitch. Women should relax, smile more, communicate more with strangers and than wait for the results. A true elixir of joy!!
The ones that feel offended by the word BITCH missed the point completely.
Thanks for everything dear Mat, you DO change peoples lives! (Sorry for the mistakes, not a native speaker:-)
Warm smiles and hugs from sunny central Europe
Listen up people! This is why Matthew gets so many women!!! He’s so warm and friendly. Although for me I think guys just don’t approach me because I’m so nervous and my hands shake all the time. I don’t think looking down and having your hands shake is being a bitch exactly but it certainly isn’t attractive. :( What do you do for that?
But the thing is, I get approached by guys i really dislike..NOT ONCE have i genuinely been attracted to someone who’s approached me or asked me out. Its annoying and freakin’ frustrating!
On a lighter note, i love you. a lot. You’re amazing!
You’re so right.
I’m always like that, I always have a “dead body on the table” kind of look, I’m never approachable, but I guess I have that deeply rooted because I have and I think generally pretty women (and modest) are constantly getting attention from men, whether they like it or not. Yeah, when you’ve been sexually harrassed ever since you were 14 years old, you’re always suspicious, even if there’s someone who might be worth knowing.
True wisdom. Don’t worry about the comments, some people just can’t take criticism as a gift.
One question from another perspective… How many chances would you give to a person to act like a “b*tch”? I understand you walk away from a person you just met, but if you see a person regularly, how many times would you try to break the ice?
Thanks and happy to see you are keeping your promise from last post ;)
The thing is that this is not all the girls fault. I mean I dont think Im a bitch, I am always so smiley, and I really like to laugh and talk a lot. Im really open for anything. For example Im walking in the street and a cute guy comes by. I look at him, he looks at me but he just passes by. Nothing at all! Even though I saw the look on his face he liked me. But they just do not dare to come up to you, to come up to me.I mean Im not a scary person Im nice to everyone. I just really hate the fact that if I want to meet a guy I have to go to a party where boys have already drunk a little. Then they come to me. Why’s that? I like parties but I dont want this all the time. Why cant guys be brave enough to make a conversation with a nice girl when they’re sober? I dont really get this. And I cant just talk to a stranger in the street, and stop him to say : hey I like you. That would be totally weird. I mean what can he answer to that? Thank you, now I gotta go… I dont really get this whole situation. Help me out a little bit please.:)
Thanks for your answer in advance:)
P.S.:I like the song;)
In this sunshine how can anyone not be smiling :) and Matthew who is looking very sexy by the way, it would be great if you interviewed some of them ladies with that face on… imagine if you walked right up to them and asked them why they looked so shut off today.
Maybe these ladies just need to breathe and relax.
Thanks Matt for the wonderful advice! I gotta tell you, everytime I see you on a my screen my face lits up :) You just have a great way at getting important messages across in an easy and playful way.
I have to be honest, I’m not sure whether I’m one of those who have the b*tch face on every once in a while, but I’ll definitely be more aware of it now and make sure I look approachable, at least.
Also, I just want to say that I appreciate your life coaching videos and I am trying to be more aware of how I come across, not only to guys, but people in general. Thank you, once again :)
Hi…Im from El Salvador, is really far and sunny, you should come :) love your videos.
OMG,I’m one of those bitche!Thanks for pointing that out..I’ll take your advice and hopefully i will find someone just like you!
That is SO me right now! 5 years ago I started doing it and became so accustomed to it and I’m struggling to change that big time! I don’t think it helps so much that people I know don’t tell me how to fix my expressions- it’s just a vicious circle!!
Thank you for this wonderful video, I agree with you “now”. But the following happened to me when I was in college: I did “not” want to be approach by guys during my 1st year at college to focus on studies (I also was shy). But I got most of the guys wanting to approach me and be my friend! I would even frown out of frustration when the guy would keep looking at me in the class for one whole semester! What I had done was only avoiding them, being distant and look arrogant! How come they were into being friends with me??? Matt seeking your advice here :)
Right now I do believe this does not work now! lol… for some reasons, I thought acting like how u described in the video was being cool!! But I do agree that for guys to approach you, you gotta be approachable. But Still don’t know how frowning worked when I was in college! :D
Hay Matthew I have to admit this is fantastic advice tho it doesn’t realy apply to me in the situation im in right now – im Canadian and I am and have been crazy for my (British) guy friend for about a year now (so ever since I met him) and I don’t know if its because hes shy or because like I said hes English and he grew up with different morals -which is why I turn to you- (cause hes not like Canadian guys hes the sweetest most gentlemanly guy I have ever known) anyway we have a big semi-formal occasion (my second prom and his first because he went back to high school for an extra year to get prerequisites for university) coming up (on Thursday) and I was hoping he would ask me. Now I am told im intimidating and I have seen it kind of scare guys off before but its nothing I can change… like im never frowning or pouting I love to laugh and smile and especially when im with him (he makes me so happy) but its not my personality that I find intimidates guys it’s how I look… im a tall (6 ft) slim (natural) blonde and there’s nothing I can do about it. And I have been told by my girlfriends that the way I look intimidates a lot of guys that I am attracted to and I have been told by them that until they got to know me they assumed that I was a materialistic b**ch because I look like I am and im really not … and it has made me really self-conscious … so I was hoping you would have some advice or input for me on how to get him to ask me… my love life is now in your hands please help me thanx <3
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