Continuing with the theme of taking lessons from movies, here’s something that really struck a chord with me from Ironman 3…
If you are confident at your core, nothing else matters.
So many of us rely on external trappings to feel confident. For some of us it’s our car or our house, for others it’s our job.
The danger in deriving confidence from these things however is that it could all be taken away from us tomorrow.
We need to find a way of gaining confidence that isn’t dependent on things around us.
We are the greatest asset we’ll ever have.
We are the thing that we should feel confident about on a core level.
The line that summed this up for me in the film was this:
“My suit wasn’t a hobby, it wasn’t a distraction, it was a cocoon. You could take away my tricks, you could take away my toys, you could take away my house, but there’s one thing you can’t take away… I AM Ironman.”
In life, never take at face value how confident people seem.
Most people who seem confident are really just basing their worth on things that could be taken away.
How many people do you know who could stand strong in the knowledge that they are their greatest asset?
I told you in a recent video the story of having to face up to this myself with the show – something I’d worked on for over year – being taken off the air.
I had to step up and say to myself, you can take away the show, you can take away everything that came with it… but so long as I have my voice and I can do my thing, I’m the asset.
It doesn’t matter what gets taken away. The thing that gives you real confidence is who you are at your core.
Don’t base your confidence on what you’re achieving. Build your confidence in such a way that if you were to lose everything, you could still feel amazing.
*If you want to learn how to do this, I have a program that could be for you.*
This has been one of the big, passionate subjects of my career. It’s something that I consider to be more important than anything else, and something that I’ve built an entire program around the concept of.
If you want to learn how to develop real core confidence and how to become invincible wherever you are in life, then this might be for you.
The program is the High Value Retreat and I have two booked for the rest of the year and that’s it.
The first is in Clearwater Florida in September, the second in Palm Springs in December.
You have to apply, and if you’d like to do so or find out more about the process, you can here. There’s a video where I cover all of the event details and a chance to enquire about the application process.
Check it out, and who knows, we could be spending 5 days together later this year…
Question of the day:
If you could have any one superpower, what would it be and why? My pick would be the ability to stop time – it would be an unbelievable amount of fun! Let me know yours in the comments!
Your sooo funny and too cute Matt!! Love your advice! Keep them coming!
Thanks for the comment and support Michelle! I’ll get more content out to you soon : )
x
Hiya Matt;)
I still cant believe the show got taken off the air. it was a good show. you three coaches did amazing and the rancics were great and the girls were sincere.. the only fault that show had was the terrible editing! that and you guys shouldve gotten waayy more airtime because to be honest,thats what ppl wanna watch-you experts dishing out live advice.!! So no need for u to go back and try to check where you screwed up(im like a veteran at that shit and im pre positive you do the same haha:) because you didn‘t. That critic woman just didnt know what she was talking about-im guessing her love life is in shambles so she doesnt know up from down.idk..either way,it was a very powerful show:*xox
Haha thank you Erica, glad you enjoyed it! It was a great experience : )
x
i think my super power would be reading poepels mind and being abel to be invisibel, that should be fun :P :D
Sounds dangerously fun Nabila ; )
x
Hey Matt, your comments on core confidence strike a chord. I have a friend who was rich, then homeless for 16 years and now is getting his ducks all lined up again. He has an apartment and a new job and has a deep sense of purpose. Now he is someone who really knows WHO he is. He knows that the Creator of the universe is with him in a deep way. He knows that he has coped having every material thing taken away. Moreover, he still has FAITH, despite all the circumstances. When you know Jesus is alive and the Holy Spirit lives in you THEN you are REALLY invincible because GOD IS INVINCIBLE. btw Liked the jingle God’s jingle could be …
‘I AM Jesus Christ, I came to serve and not be served!!!’ Philippians 2 v. 6-7!!! Hope that helps someone out there,
Princess xxx
Wow, great story. And it’s true, sometimes it isn’t until we have nothing that we really understand who we are and what we stand for. Thanks for sharing!
x
Hi Matt,
I was wondering if there’s a minimum age for participating in your retreats or other in person programs. I am 19, so I’m young, however, I have lot of insecurities that in the past year I have been trying to face and overcome. The process is tough but I know that this is something that I need to do now if I want to be happy/content/confident with myself and develop romantic relationships in the future. So to hear back from you would be amazing.
Thanks so much,
Carleigh
I enjoyed your post tonight. I totally believe in core confidence and strength. I have over the last 20 yrs wondered what it was that got me to the person i have become and that is the reason. I married the guy of my dreams in 1991 at 25, 3 days in to honeymoon he hit me and did not stop. I stayed for 15 yrs but when my son was 7 i suddenly woke up knowing i had core strength and confidence to do this. Since then have been homeless , lost my son but got him back and made great life for us. I have a job as a carer which i love and am go at. Only one thing missing i can’t find the guy but i know in time the core beliefs will bring that to.
love all you do
Carol
UM..wait did I miss something? They canceled the NBC show..what the frick? Are they serious…I think you should get your own relationship/talk show like on HLN or NBC day time but TLC would be the best bet. Lame….and sad face :(
Yes, you are the star of your show anyways…so that is okay. Hope to get your book soon. I’m surprised Steve Harvey hasn’t had you own his program yet or Dr. Drew…
Matt, if u see this please take the time to reply.
You say one shouldnt let ones ‘trappings’ define who one is. But I feel the house or car you buy or what you achieve is the product of your own disciple and confidence. They dint just happen to you, they made you chase them down with all you had – confidence, humility, discipline, determination, patience. You feel invincible knowing a stunt like that is totally in the bag for you. Its that feeling and not the physicality of your house or car that readily gives you confidence and pulls you out of a rut when you’re there. Is that a bad thing? What do you think?
Hi Misha,
I think it’s great to be proud and appreciative of what you have accomplished in your life, but it is remembering that it’s YOU who has achieved it. That even without all of the ‘trappings’ you are still able to be great, and even if you lose it all, at the end of the day, it was YOU who created and earned greatness in your life once and it’s YOU who can achieve it again : )
x
You look refreshed, happy and relaxed. Thank you for all the energy you gave us on your tour and I hope you are taking some time for yourself {and your love life ;)} as well.
Thanks for being you,
Cheers.
Hey Kristi, thanks so much for coming out on the tour! It was really an amazing experience thanks to all of you : )
x
Hi, Matt!
I really liked ‘Ready for Love’ but cringed with all the french kissing! Is it true that Eva’s with Ernesto now? IF that’s true, I think it would be a little unethical. Anyway, I’ve thought that you are FANTASTIC before the show, and that is absolutely undiminished after it. I love this whole ‘high value’ concept and really hope I can come to your retreat. I really want to up my ‘game’ and my life from good to phenomenal.
You are doing such important work – and in such a charming way. Hugs to you from Asia.
Love,
Angela
Eva and Ernesto deny it, so I’ll take their word for it. Though I wouldn’t consider it unethical.
Love can be found anywhere, even between a producer and a candidate on her show. I remember an episode on The Bachelor, a lady contestant was immediately asked to leave when she allegedly had an incident with a producer on the show – something she denied.
Gee, she denied they’re seeing each other so it must be true…Hello!
Loved the end… made me chuckle.
I had been wanting to ask out a client of mine for like a year. I was very afraid to cross the client/customer relationship. Everybody kept telling me to do it… even his employees. I worked up the courage and well… he turned me down… He said he was flattered, but wasn’t the right timing for him. OUCH! So my ego was quite bruised… But at the end… I am Sandra and I am still me with or without that date. :)
Haha glad to have made you chuckle Sandra and that’s the spirit! Proud of you for taking a chance : )
x
I want the superpower of travelling fast. I am from India and live in the United States; alone :(. Being on the other side of the world, I miss my parents and siblings a lot and often wish i could just go home for a weekend (it will take at least 36 hours for me to get from my apartment in US to “HOME”).
I am glad you are coming to Clearwater. I always wanted to see you live and now is my chance. I live less than an hour away and will definitely be joining you for the program. :)
I understand that feeling well Mona, we’ll make you feel right at home in Clearwater though : ) Hope to see you then! Thanks for the comment
x
It is jokes how you’re on your bed, just chilling :P
I think it’s a really good concept to build up your confidence in that way, but then there’s always still the problem of your appearance that you’d still take into consideration.
I’ve had an interview for Cambridge in January, and they asked me why did I want to study architecture and why should they pick me of all people. – as the first question, it kinda threw me off. But when someone is critically analysing you in that way.. And you don’t actually really know why you’re better than other people, I just had to say what I thought. – right now, I still don’t know why I was better than the candidates, who are likely to be similarly as smart as me, or more so… But I got in which is great!!! :D also i think that over time, experiences like that aid core confidence.
As for super power, it’d be to teleport – get away when I can, visit my friends who are scattered globally. :) time stopping as you said, like Bernard’s watch would be hilarious :)
Xx
Clearly you exude core confidence Jasmine! That’s great news, congratulations! Teleporting would be a fantastic power as well, would make touring much easier ; )
x
The ability to multiply myself, because I would be able to be everywhere at one time and never have to let anyone down thatiI care most about! I can be at home with my parents and still be at work, I can be at my nephews graduation while still visiting my parents or at work while out with ny friends, working nights puts a damper on your social life!! :)
What a lovely sentiment Senaida : )
x
I would love to FLY!Inspiring video!Thanks!!
Great superpower! I feel as though it would be so freeing : ) Thanks Alexia
x
Wow, what lovely message you’ve got in this video!
Really simple – yet so hard for most of us. I love the paired down feel of it & look forwards to hear more about building your core values / confidence.
A super power wish would be clairvoyant – being able to read others minds. I could help so many people & animals too :) if knowing their true thoughts.
Keep up the great work!
Vinita x
☀☆♥♥☺♥♥☆☀ Dear Matthew Hussey ☀☆♥♥☺♥♥☆☀
WOW WOW Oh WOW YOU are back :)
I am sooooooooooo happy for all the best that happened to YOU Matthew Hussey :)
I hope YOU are very happy & enjoyed everything very much :)
Congratulations to all the best :)
It’s wonderful YOU have such an amazing passion for confidence :)& that it is possible for everybody to love it too: HERE with YOU :)& after visiting your seminar & learning from YOU I believe everybody can be incredibly confident :)
I Looooooooooooove the way you Loooooooooove confidence :)
and talk about confidence :)
& I LoooooooOOOOOove confidence very very much too :)
So thank you sooooooooo much for talking about it :)
It is one of my favourite topics too :)
I wish YOU all the best comfort & that YOU can relax in the best way :)
I’m sooooooooo happy YOU are Matthew Hussey & that YOU are so incredibly comfortable-even without the Show :)
YOU are fantastic :)
& YOU are so funny :) Hahahahahhahahahahahahhahahahahaha :)
YOU make me smile sooooooooooooo much :)
Thank YOU sooooooooooo much :)
I hope YOU can smile as much as everybody does after reading your blog, watching your Videos & visiting your Seminar :)
Love to YOU :)
Susanne
I Loooooooooooooooooove the ability to stop time too :
To live forever :):):):):):):):):):)
Abilities for everybody :
That everybody can bring food to all the starving masses, bandages for the wounded + wonderful blankets for the cold
♥&♥
that everybody is able to provide beautiful homes for the homeless
♥&♥ Love for the broken-hearted
♥&♥ Love for animals & plants :)
♥&♥ OFCOURSE OFCOURSE OFCOURSE
that it is possible for everybody to learn all the best from YOU Matthew Hussey :)
Hey Matt!
My wish of a superpower would be to lower the power of money of today, coz some people don’t have it all, and some people have to put their dreams on hold. I’ts never ever impossible to reach your dreams anyway, but it would help allot I think :)