Getting The Guy You Want – Katie Couric Show

Here’s a clip from my recent appearance on Katie Couric where I’m joined on the couch by the Ready For Love gang Tracey McMillan and Amber Kelleher-Andrews.

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From the video…

1) Meet more men

Most women aren’t meeting the quantity of men they need in their everyday lives. It’s often not easy as we get stuck doing the same things over and over.

How can you mix things up? (From Tracy) “To meet people with similar interests, find the things you love to do, then go out and do those things.”

And while you’re at it, don’t worry about the outcome. (From Katie) “You’ve got to be a little creative girls… and if it doesn’t work out, that’s okay, because you don’t want to be with someone who’s not attracted to you anyway.”

Make it easy for a guy in the first 10 seconds as most guys don’t know how to talk to you and you need to be able to give him licence to come over and approach you. As a general rule, don’t BE easy, but in the first 10 seconds, be easy.

2) Layer your approach

The thing that makes us nervous around people we’re attracted to is intent.

Here’s a way to get over nerves I’ve used with clients – one of whom went on to get two dates and four numbers in one afternoon!

Take on each stage until you’re fully comfortable doing it.

–Ask a guy for the time
–Ask a guy for the time and when he gives it to you tell him you like his watch
–Ask a guy for the time, tell him you like his watch, and then say that you need his ideas on what you can get as a present for your brother/friend/nephew

This is a guaranteed conversation starter that you can have some real fun with.

3) Simple speed-dating tips

–Compliment him
–Address the awkwardness
–Keep conversations emotional not logical

Question of the day:

Do you agree with Katie? Are there really more cool women than men?

The person with the best response gets to ask me anything : )

UPDATE: Congrats Lisa! Your question and my answer can be found here.


To get more insight into men, check out my online home-study programme The Man Myth. In it you will learn the A–Z of what men think, how to generate unstoppable attraction, and how to win him to your way of thinking. Check it out here.


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64 Replies to “Getting The Guy You Want – Katie Couric Show”

  1. What is cool and what is not? Am I really looking for a cool guy (in the same definition of the word as Katie, whatever that might be)? What makes a person cool to me is when they really know who they are and do not take themselves too seriously all the time. I know there must be lots of (single) guys like that out there. It is just a matter of giving them a fair chance.
    I used to think that all the good guys were alredy “taken, weird or gay” but you changed my mind on that Matt. Thank you for all the great advice.

  2. Hi,Matthew.I really loved your clip,it was amazing as there was a lot of excitement and anticipation at each stage.Who is cool really depends on ones attitude to what you desire and want.A few well researched tips like yours,well dressed and well mannered will get you some results.Thank You for sharing with us…..making us more creative and confident!

  3. People are just people. I do not agree with Katie Couric that there are more interesting or fun women than men that are out there. People are just people in all of their interestingly, quirky, glory. I do think that the media foster’s an us vs. them mentality which, in its worst form, advocates women to define their worth by a set of measurements and men to define manliness by juvenile behaviours. Isn’t that terrible? If we buy into it, we start to think that pleasing the opposite sex means focusing on these things exclusively and even adopting the “attractive traits” of both genders. In the end, all we are left with are a bunch of physically-obsessed, juvenile adults. I think we ought to expect great things of both genders and what makes us great is to pursue our best-selves…mind, body and soul.

  4. Well, the reason we feel like there are more cool women than men is because we are capable of reading the nuances in a woman’s overall package better. Shoes, hair style, clothes, bags, bodies, the pose, colors, make-up, the tonation and style in the way they talk, these all inform us in many ways that women put a lot together into making themselves cool, attractive and different. We spend more time on women than men. Think about a night out, the way women actually observe each other, stare each other, comment on each other etc.

    I have a feeling, and also the experience to prove that, we don’t know much to differentiate men, see through them and catch a glimpse of uniqueness. And what I have learned from Matthew is that the only way to do so is to actually TALK with them.

    1. Katie is a very beautiful and intelligent successful woman, like a lot of American women out there. It is really really hard for men to keep up with cute and successful women, because they are only working & spending time with themselves their work, their male friends & their hobbies. Guys are not really social or developed people, they are good at male things, their work and their hobbies.

  5. I’m still a new nurse, but I’ve found that women aren’t much cooler than men…they both run about 98.6.

    1. Dear Matthew! I think that Laura should at least get an award for originality for the answer, if she doesn’t win this. :D
      I loved your answer Laura. You just made my day! XD

  6. ☀☆☀☆♥♥ :)Dear Matthew :)♥♥☆☀☆☀

    Men ♥&♥ women are human beings who have a heart to ♥loooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooove♥

    How many men ♥&♥ women open their hearts to ♥loooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooove♥?
    I believe lovely Hosana knows :)

    All the best to all men ♥&♥ women who have a heart ♥&♥ who ♥loooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooove♥ :)

    And to those sweethearts who really really oh really need love ♥&♥ life lessons:
    I hope one day they are very very very lucky & learn all the best in the best way :)
    If only they knew Matthew Hussey :)
    ♥&♥ that he is here :)

    Thank YOU soooooooooooooooo much for being here again Matthew Hussey :)
    It’s always veeeeeeeeeery nice when Matthew Hussey is here :)

    Love your video, your blog ♥&♥ your question :)
    Hope you as well enjoy all the best ♥&♥ the answers in the best way :)

    Have a veeeeeeeeeeery nice day :)

  7. Guys have an ability to cut to the chase and weed out all of the nonsense. Which is an important ability to have. Woman pay attention to the nonsense and tie it all together and try to make sense of it all. Men are the words and women are the poem, both are essential to each other to balance life and each other out :)

  8. It’s probably because Katie is so beautiful and successful, that men find her intimidating and get very nervous around her.

    Personally, I see more cool men than cool women. Men tend to have one passion that they acquired deep knowledge and experiences. While women have shallow conversations on various topics with little substance.

    I also find it uncool when people talk about diets, telling others what they should or should not eat. Women tend to do it a lot more than men.

    Finally, women’s magazines have horoscopes. QED.

    1. You are also very right about the conversations that women tends to have with eachother & and what women are talking about among female friends. Thanks for commenting on this.
      But you probably refer to the married men, and Katie refers to single men & single women. Women are more grown-ups and men are more knowledgable and so less boring. But single men have a different kind of personality then married men. Single men are very good at computers & playing video games, which is not really helpful in cultivating love-relationships.

  9. Oh no, that woman is not a geat catch. I think I know her. There are other more beautiful and lovely/caring/honest/warm/not selfish women out there who really deserve a nice husband. Not her.

  10. I’m not sure about the question, I think we are not cool, but trying to play cool. We don’t want to look like the desperates girls we see in chick flick movies (ex the one in he’s not that into you). It seems that socially now that is the image single girls have, desperate to guy any guy to marry them than at some point we flipped totally to the other side!

  11. Sorry, but I have to agree with Katie. The only people I ever meet doing the things I enjoy are other cool single women. At the last dating mixer I went to I sparked the interest of a senior citizen with a comb-over and a seriously overweight guy studying to be a personal trainer online. I can’t even find any cool to try out Matthew’s flirting tips on!

  12. Hi Matt,

    I thought that segment was great and very amusing!
    I am curious about what you thought about the host’s approach of dating in terms of asking lots of questions. A great idea or can it be too much?

  13. Well I don’t know what she meant by “cool,” but I think men can be cooler than women in certain ways. For instance, they don’t take things as personal so their reactions are much more mellow than women, who get defensive or sensitive. They tend to be more easy-going, which can seem cooler. My bosses are brother and sister and I definitely think he’s cooler than her. She has much more of an attitude, and he is more friendly, relaxed, and has more of a sense of humor. Could be because he works around cute women tho, lol.

  14. I need your advise on something Matt, I need your help. I like this guy and he just can’t keep my secrets, he tells everybody! Can I change his actions with my words or do I have to find another guy?

  15. This video won’t play :(
    Is there somewhere else I can see it?
    Thank you so much!
    We appreciate all you do for us Matt!
    Big hugs!

  16. In my opinion there are not more cool men or cool women – it pretty much evens out. The lady in the video who had said that she thinks there are more cool women either is a little frustrated or plays with cliche statements so that more women feel “she understands us”.

    It often happens that either women complain “there are no normal guys out there” or men complain “are all the classy women married?”, because they are frustrated, and when they go out with tis frustrated attitude, of course all the potential partners run away, because they think “I don’t know what is wrong with this woman/man, but he/she should stay away from me.”

    The inner attitude matters so much.

  17. Frankly Hussey, I don’t agree with Kate. The following reasons are as follows.

    To begin with boys were most likely born with an innate amount of creativity. I observed that the ratio of boy-girl creativity in primary school is 10-1. Boys have a natural ability to want to explore and create. They grow up to want to be risk-takers, embracing who they are. They create something out of nothing. An example of this would be when my brother and friends created a skate ramp out of materials laying around the back yard. Guys are resourceful and creative! Who wouldn’t think that isn’t cool?

    Most people would agree that guys take a greater chance in approaching the opposite sex. Using their demeanor they step up and achieve goals compared to girls. They attempt to make the best with what they have or accept it with grace. I think this is an admirable trait. Girls are prone to whinging and hanging on to small details which are irrelevant. Often causing arguments in relationships. Escalating arguments is not a ‘cool’ quality.

    Guys know how to have fun and be carefree. In small groups guys often joke around and encourage their friends to create interactions with women. They see opportunities, whilst girls see negativity. I have more fun hanging out with friends that are guys then girls. As girls tend to sit and repeat scenarios in dismay. Often not taking any action at all. Guys are laid back, they take in the atmosphere and challenge each other to talk to women.

    To sum up guys are cooler than girls. Guys are imaginative, have principles and know their value and can successfully form larger circle of friends. Thus, this is why I strongly disagree with Kate’s comment, ‘Girls are cooler than boys.’ Girls can learn a lesson or two from guys ;)

  18. Yes, I would have to agree with Katie that women are cooler than men. Most of the guys I know are hot, hot, hot!!

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