Long-Distance Relationships – The BRUTAL Truth About How To Make Them Work

You start dating the perfect man in your city, only to find out he’s been offered a new job 1000 miles away…

Should you follow your heart and go for it, or should you listen to your head and call it quits? What’s the answer?

Here’s what you really need to know…

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77 Replies to “Long-Distance Relationships – The BRUTAL Truth About How To Make Them Work”

  1. I never had a long distance relationship, but my dear brother has one for the last 4 years now. And when I think of what I want in a relationship, I always end up thinking “I want to have what they are having”. They admire each other, they respect, love, adore each other. They plan to move, but not right now, because they are settled in their careers . These two are the sweetest couple, I never see my hard, martial arts, soldier brother as cute and sweet as he is around this pretty and warm woman.
    So: long distance is not necessarily a torture. When u love somebody deeply and without any doubt, when there is just trust between you, it’s fine.

  2. I’ve been in a LDR for over two years, and think my bf really really loves me, but the practicality of it seems troublesome to me now. I loved this video when you mention that do we actually have a plan in place to move to somewhere where your lover is, because quite frankly, we’ve had these conversations and he says he’ll move for me, but I don’t see him implementing that plan. And ok, I’m more of an emotional connect than “I need you to cuddle with me all the time”, but after a point it does get to point where you reconsider/ re-evaluate since you that you haven’t seen them in over a year, and the video calls have become infrequent, and it doesn’t look like the gap is going to close anytime soon. We still are very much in love, but I do realize the tendency to idealize someone not in physical proximity, and that’s really starting to make me feel, do I even know this person? And how long can I keep going like this…. it’s amazing to feel so loved, but at the same time, you realize you’re being loved from far far away, so does that really count (because maybe you would have killed each other in reality if you were close). Long distance really does suck!

  3. Loved the readers/viewers thoughts in this vid Matt!
    So what if you are in a relationship and the person accepts a job across the planet for work…how can you make your long distance relationship work in the meanwhile? What are the steps to keep it hot (so to speak) and the desire high?

    1. Yes, what if you are already in a relationship this isn’t long distance. You’re relationship then becomes long distance, say for school or work. You both plan to make this long distance a short term obstacle. If you’ve already spent enough time together in person to know that having a future together isn’t an issue, is a long distance relationship of a couple years unrealistic? Matthew, what are your thoughts on how to make those times apart manageable?

  4. So the fairy tale. You reconnect with your high school love. He promises you the world. He never forgot you – you have always been the one. Wraps you in words and promises. You take the leap and leave your world (its totally love).

    You move 4k km across the country – he even picks you up and carries you over the threshold. Then reality. You are WYSIWYG. He insists on buying a ring and a quick marriage – you ask to slow it down. After all your 60 and left a dead but not abusive relationship.

    Reality /Truth:
    He says he never fights – refuses to fight / He only values his needs and wants. He is indifferent to your request for compromise or discussion.

    He has all his friends and life /You are totally without support.

    He refuses to communicate /important decisions are thrust upon you (often contrary to promises made)

    He refuses any financial commit in the beginning /Later demands that you contribute to financial items that you had no input or commitment. (This is classic modus operandi for online dating scammers).

    Something is wrong but you don’t know what happened /A decision has been made and there is no acknowledgement of what is happening but your feet have just been kicked out from under you.

    Congratulations – you are in a Passive Agressive Covert relationship. You have been artfully manipulated away from safety and support.

    Long distance relationships – like summer flings, rarely work. We want the fairy tale but life is not like that. They only worked because of the distance involved. The signs were always there – distance made them easy to push aside. We want to believe.

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