It’s often believed that there is an unfair bias against those women with high IQ’s in dating. Women are attracted to smart men, they say, but guys feel threatened by women who challenge them too much in the brains department.
But is that stereotype actually true??
In this week’s blog video, I’m going to reveal the 100% honest answer based on my research on men and attraction. If you’re a smart person and have ever felt compelled to hide your knowledge from guys in conversation, then you REALLY need to hear this advice…
Relationships are not only about “conversation”,you have your peers and colleages for that. We have to find our inner “Marilyn Monroe” and learn to connect emotionally. A lot of very high IQ people have problem with social skills. Social skills and dating skills can be learn. Thank you Matt, I appreciate your ideas.
One of my favorite videos! In fact, it prompted me to leave my first comment. I hope that I fall into the “social intelligence” category. One problem that I encounter with that is because I can make people feel comfortable and have an ability to be genuinely accepting of many types of personalities, men equate that to mean that I am into them. I make it a practice to respect physical space and not be touchy-feely and to be aware of my body language. Unless I am being social wih a guy I’m interested in—then I allow myself to be natural and flirtatious with him because that’s how I’m feeling. How does a woman walk that fine line of being socially intelligent and still attract her type of guy?
This is SO very true. I’ve had all of these same thoughts/ideas running through my head.
never thought of it this way. helpful
I have a bit of a problem. I keep on bringing one of my problems of one of my old relationships into my new relationship. How do I stop that?
I used to be with someone, on and off, for some time and when he finally kind of ”broke up” with me I was crushed. He saw the love of his life and pursued her. He is happy in a serious relationship. I want that too, for myself.
I had other relationships since then, but I can’t commit myself. I am the cheater in almost every relationship that I tryed since then. I am the one that keeps hurting people.
It is been years since then, I’ve moved on but. Also, I keep sort of running for the hills when things start to get serious.
So, I would really love to find out what can I change about me.
Thank you very much, you are a life changer. you helped me enormously since I’ve descovered you.
Take care, Alex.
I think your advice is always insightful. Yes, one very intelligent person (who I know is more book smart than I am) always makes me feel good when I do something well.
Matt I rarely comment on your videos, (not because I don’t love them, because I do!) but because I rarely have anything useful to say in return. This video really made me think about the way I speak to people and the type of energy and intelligence I bring to conversations and I’m so thankful because I’m guilty sometimes of being the “pompous academic”. I also have lots of moments where I really do vibe with people so I know I’m not always that way, but I can definitely do it sometimes, especially when I’m annoyed at somebody (oops). Thank you so much again for your invaluable insights and wisdom! By the way I’m digging the long hair.
Thanks for the insight. I guess if mean are turned off by intelligence, you probably don’t want to be with them anyway!
People have always recognized that I was intelligent even when I made an effort to hide it, but often times I find that men are either intimidated by it or they lack the ability to appreciate it-in which case I feel like less than a person and it is intellectually unfulfilling. I agree with many women here that it is hard to find a man equal in intelligence that I’m attracted to although I think this goes back to what Matt was saying about finding the right “venue” to meet intelligent guys.
…And THAT I realize is my biggest problem. Is this what online dating comes in handy for?
I see myself speaking of intelligence and I forgot to re-read before posting…”I guess if **MEN** are turned off by intelligence…”
:)
I love watching these videos and seeing the different clothes and settings you choose for the topic at hand: smart suit for a conversations about “smarts” ;-). And I love that you distinguished the difference between intelligence and knowledge. It’s time to get real and accept that how we act determines how we are perceived. Now, I just have to maintain the level of confidence and social intelligence that I have on a first date throughout the relationship.
I love you marry me
Thanks Matthew. Not really fussed with intelligence, but the advice to get out and meet more people was appealing. That’ll work.
Love the VDO. But sexy & adorable dimples also do the tricks:)