The High-Value Woman Position On Miley Cyrus

The whole Miley Cyrus phenomenon has been on a lot of people’s lips recently. I generally don’t use my platform to talk about celebrities, firstly because I don’t like to judge people whose lives I know nothing about, and secondly because I don’t much care what they are up to. 

I did however watch the VMAs along with a lot of other people, and found the whole performance somewhat uncomfortable. It’s hard to express exactly why without some serious reflection. 

I believe in empowering women and showing them what beautiful people they are. I believe respecting women to be of the utmost importance, secondary only to a woman’s own self-respect. 

So I was left a little conflicted with the Miley thing. A lot of people are judging her right now. She’s entitled to go through phases, just like any of us have. In a perfect world she’d be entitled to go through these phases without the judgement of millions of fans and non fans. Unfortunately (and fortunately for her income), she has millions of fans and non fans ready to judge her. 

The truth is, I do not care what the world thinks of what she’s doing. Nor do I much care about what the general population thinks about anything. We all have to be smart enough to look at a situation objectively without the rants of the mindless controlling every aspect of our thought. The temptation to parrot the demagogic ramblings of the gross tabloids and magazines is always there. 

But I’m reluctant to go down the righteous route of “she’s a role model so she should do better”. She’s not some elected politician who has a responsibility to their electorate. She’s a singer. She makes lot’s of money selling records, amongst other things. I will admit to finding the concept of lots of teenage girls emulating this ‘phase’ disturbing, but whether that really is her responsibility is another matter. God forbid we ever be in a position where every move we make is judged on how great an example it presents to millions of others; an impossible standard to live up to to say the least.

Although I don’t think ‘Miley news’ or any sort of celebrity news is ever really interesting or of any consequence, yesterday something did catch my attention: an open letter from Sinead O’Connor to Miley Cyrus.

Since I cannot talk from any personal experience of the music industry, nor of being a 20 year old woman, this letter contained a lot more credibility than I have on both counts. 
After allegedly claiming that her Wrecking Ball video was inspired by O’Connor’s Nothing Compares 2U, Sinead expressed her concern for Miley not only as an artist but as a woman. 
This letter sums up the ‘High Value’ way to look at this situation more authoritatively than I could. It’s long, but it’s worth the read I assure you.

After you’ve read it, let me know what you think. I’d love to hear your opinions on the matter (I would love it if the comments weren’t about Miley Cyrus, but about the situation itself. There’s enough judgement on her as an individual without us having to add to the pile. I think it’s much more positive to keep it constructive and look at it as something to take personal learnings from).


Dear Miley,

I wasn’t going to write this letter, but today i’ve been dodging phone calls from various newspapers who wished me to remark upon your having said in Rolling Stone your Wrecking Ball video was designed to be similar to the one for Nothing Compares … So this is what I need to say … And it is said in the spirit of motherliness and with love.

I am extremely concerned for you that those around you have led you to believe, or encouraged you in your own belief, that it is in any way ‘cool’ to be naked and licking sledgehammers in your videos. It is in fact the case that you will obscure your talent by allowing yourself to be pimped, whether its the music business or yourself doing the pimping.

Nothing but harm will come in the long run, from allowing yourself to be exploited, and it is absolutely NOT in ANY way an empowerment of yourself or any other young women, for you to send across the message that you are to be valued (even by you) more for your sexual appeal than your obvious talent.
I am happy to hear I am somewhat of a role model for you and I hope that because of that you will pay close attention to what I am telling you.

The music business doesn’t give a shit about you, or any of us. They will prostitute you for all you are worth, and cleverly make you think its what YOU wanted … and when you end up in rehab as a result of being prostituted, ‘they’ will be sunning themselves on their yachts in Antigua, which they bought by selling your body and you will find yourself very alone.

None of the men ogling you give a shit about you either, do not be fooled. Many’s the woman mistook lust for love. If they want you sexually that doesn’t mean they give a fuck about you. All the more true when you unwittingly give the impression you don’t give much of a fuck about yourself. And when you employ people who give the impression they don’t give much of a fuck about you either. No one who cares about you could support your being pimped … and that includes you yourself.

Yes, I’m suggesting you don’t care for yourself. That has to change. You ought be protected as a precious young lady by anyone in your employ and anyone around you, including you. This is a dangerous world. We don’t encourage our daughters to walk around naked in it because it makes them prey for animals and less than animals, a distressing majority of whom work in the music industry and it’s associated media.

You are worth more than your body or your sexual appeal. The world of showbiz doesn’t see things that way, they like things to be seen the other way, whether they are magazines who want you on their cover, or whatever … Don’t be under any illusions … ALL of them want you because they’re making money off your youth and your beauty … which they could not do except for the fact your youth makes you blind to the evils of show business. If you have an innocent heart you can’t recognise those who do not.

I repeat, you have enough talent that you don’t need to let the music business make a prostitute of you. You shouldn’t let them make a fool of you either. Don’t think for a moment that any of them give a flying fuck about you. They’re there for the money… we’re there for the music. It has always been that way and it will always be that way. The sooner a young lady gets to know that, the sooner she can be REALLY in control.

You also said in Rolling Stone that your look is based on mine. The look I chose, I chose on purpose at a time when my record company were encouraging me to do what you have done. I felt I would rather be judged on my talent and not my looks. I am happy that I made that choice, not least because I do not find myself on the proverbial rag heap now that I am almost 47 yrs of age … which unfortunately many female artists who have based their image around their sexuality, end up on when they reach middle age.

Real empowerment of yourself as a woman would be to in future refuse to exploit your body or your sexuality in order for men to make money from you. I needn’t even ask the question … I’ve been in the business long enough to know that men are making more money than you are from you getting naked. Its really not at all cool. And its sending dangerous signals to other young women. Please in future say no when you are asked to prostitute yourself. Your body is for you and your boyfriend. It isn’t for every spunk-spewing dirtbag on the net, or every greedy record company executive to buy his mistresses diamonds with.

As for the shedding of the Hannah Montana image … whoever is telling you getting naked is the way to do that does absolutely NOT respect your talent, or you as a young lady. Your records are good enough for you not to need any shedding of Hannah Montana. She’s waaaaaaay gone by now … Not because you got naked but because you make great records.

Whether we like it or not, us females in the industry are role models and as such we have to be extremely careful what messages we send to other women. The message you keep sending is that its somehow cool to be prostituted … its so not cool Miley … its dangerous. Women are to be valued for so much more than their sexuality. We aren’t merely objects of desire. I would be encouraging you to send healthier messages to your peers … that they and you are worth more than what is currently going on in your career. Kindly fire any motherfucker who hasn’t expressed alarm, because they don’t care about you.

As posted on


Remember to leave a comment. What are your thoughts on the situation?

9 Texts No Man Can Resist

227 Responses to The High-Value Woman Position On Miley Cyrus

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  1. Ashleigh says:

    Someone who cares and has influence is stepping the hell up!
    It’s been far too long and quiet regarding our young women.
    It breaks my heart to see precious people exploited whether for a hard prick, or millions. The people who do this are all the same.
    And thank you to Sinaed O’Connor for speaking up, stepping up to the plate for Miley’s sake and others. Ur action was so longed for. I personally wanted to send Miley a letter, but I figured it wouldn’t get to her. Thank u isn’t enough. Ms. O’Connor u were spot on with everything u said. And I am so glad for ur choices in the industry for yourself even at such a young age in ur career with ur look and approach. Ur statement was loud and clear and still is.
    Blessings to u and ur and Miley!
    – Ashleigh

  2. Vero says:

    I believe that you cannot judge a tree because of one season, and try to apply that with every person I met, even if they make a bad first impression.
    I dont believe any human being is implicitly bestowed with the responsibility to be a role model when they become famous, it is up to them in the end. However, if you are a person who grew up with principles, you will ultimately would want to leave a footprint in this world and not passed unnobserved, because you have an opportunity to do something for this world.
    That is beautiful that Sinead took the time to write to Miley, that is the spirit of a person who still cares to do the right thing in this world. Rather than doing wrong in life, is even worst when people stay quiet and not do anything. I hope this young girl listened to her, the reason we have role mothers or mentors is because we want to be like this person, so I hope this is the case.
    Needless to say where the media and the show business industry is growing, it all comes to the values we are thaught at home, without them we will always be going around in circles without direction and end up in the same situations, over and over again.

  3. Andrew says:

    Very interesting read, as well as commentary.

    How ever it’s very challenging for me to leave an opinion as I know very little about this whole issue, and even less about the music industry in general.

    All in all interesting read. Keep up the good work Matt. Your work is excellent.


  4. Anjali says:

    This is cool and all. Now, when is Robin Thicke’s musical idol going to write him an open letter urging him to stop being a big fat misogynist who keeps pushing the exploitation of young women? I get what she’s saying, and it’s valuable. But it seems women always have to “behave”, and men are never held accountable for their end of it. That’s gotta change first, if young women are ever going to stop exploiting themselves for male attention, and/or fame.

    • Petra says:

      Hi Anjali,

      Your message drew me in and I had to reply to it. I feel that you’re turning it the wrong way. By saying the men need to change first, you’re giving away the power women have by just saying no to exploiting their bodies.
      Women need to realise they do not need men for fame and/or attention. It should always be a ‘want’ instead of a ‘need’. Then you have full control. A need brings you in a position where you just have to have it. A want lets you see both sides and you won’t loose yourself in getting what you want.
      If women have enough selfesteem and selfworth, then they will not let others use them for those kind of things.
      So you see, whether or not the men (and I am sure it doesn’t only include men, but there will also be women exploiting other women) are changing, should not matter.
      Women need to take control of their own lives and own decisions. And I applaud the fact that Sinead took the time to introduce Miley with this concept, this way of living. The old should always encourage the young.

      • Anjali says:

        This is a simple matter of supply and demand. As long as there is a demand for female exploitation, men and women alike are going to profit from it and call it “empowerment”. But that demand starts from men and is damaging to women. Of course women need to have self esteem and a sense of self worth, but when we point the finger at women and ignore male accountability for sexism and exploitation, we’re allowing a hypocritical culture where a very sexual female is “degrading” herself, and a very NON-sexual female has self respect, when in reality people are more complex than that, and the opposite may be true. Yes, men need to change their negative perceptions of women and female sexuality. I don’t buy into the belief that men are just they way they are, and that’s that. Damn right I think men need to change first. They’ve been getting a free pass for exploiting women for far too long.

        • Anjali says:

          Also, my point was not to give away women’s power to not exploit their bodies. I was going for a deeper point than that.

    • lisa says:

      Anaji, you beat me to the punch! :-)

      I see a great deal of wisdom and hard-won experience in Sinead’s letter. She’s right about her industry in many ways But I see some inadvertent playing into the madonna-whore syndrome, too. Good girls/artists keep their clothes on; bad girls/artists make money off their bodies. I hate the you-must-be-thin-young-and-gorgeous part of the music industry, in which only very few who don’t fit that will ever make a living. Sinead is right in that standing up to it will help, but I don’t want to divorce pop music from its intrinsic rebelliousness, which almost has to include some sexuality by definition.

      I see huge value in Amanda Palmer’s letter that so many women her linked, too. But I know that lots of younger women may not have the artistic sensibility or exposure that she had at a young age to add a level of depth into their experimentation, leaving them vulnerable to those who don’t give a very-hearty-expletive-deleted about the madonna-whore syndrome, so long as they get their woody. And, as they’re part of the dominant culture, they control the bucks and the minds. Miley may be writing her own checks, but she’s not being served by people who want to cultivate her as an artist.

      Ideally, I’d love to see Sinead and Amanda as part of an elite squad of kick-ass women, advising their younger counterparts on adding value of all kinds to their artistic endeavors. Now THAT’S the high-value women’s team that would make me feel like the world was getting somewhere!

    • lisa says:

      (oops–I forgot this part–

      Why is it that women’s behavior gets put under the cultural microscope so very, very much at times like these and nobody ever says a hoot about controlling, altering, criticizing or changing the man’s behavior? Guys, stop acting like children and own your own damn selves. That’s the kind of guy we want to fall in love with.

  5. Rita says:

    It was about time for someone to say this publicly.
    And what a great bónus it is that someone from inside the industry and that knows it really well did!
    This happens all the time, not just with Miley, and it kind of astonishes me that this discussions don’t happen more often! This is not about the music industry only, this is about the role of women on advertising campaigns and on public imagery. Women need to stop sexualizing themselves – it is not empowerment as “people” make us believe…

    I am truly glad that Sinead did this.
    Maybe it’s a way for women to start truly valuing themselves for the right things… Not just for something as fleeting as beauty or youth…

    Know your HIGH value!

  6. Becca Hope says:

    I think the open letter from Sinead was written with the best intentions, but a bit misguided. I read the letter, hoping that Sinead’s words would be the ones to infiltrate Miley’s thought process but to be honest, as I read it, I realised sadly that it wouldn’t have any impact on Miley.
    Miley has taken on this persona to sell records, and make history, which she is doing. I think she knows EXACTLY what she’s doing.
    I don’t think it’s Miley’s fault that sex sells. That drama and gossip and shocking behavior sells. It has for years, probably starting with women like Marilyn Monroe.
    It’s not Miley that needs the wake up call. It’s us.
    What are we doing? All the world can talk about is how shocking it all is, how crazy and inappropriate Miley is and yes, that’s all true. But why are we talking about it? Why are we fueling the fire?
    You said it yourself, Matt, that you don’t usually pay attention to celebrities or their lives, which I appreciate. But by writing this post, you’ve shed even more limelight on this issue, bringing even more attention to it.
    I don’t blame you at all, I’m simply making a point.
    If everyone decided that they were as disgusted as they claim, and they refused to buy her music, or watch her videos, do you think she would be as famous, as popular?
    It’s an unrealistic and impossible solution, but I believe that the issue is with us and our culture, not with people who know and make a profit from that knowledge.

    • Audrey says:

      “If everyone decided that they were as disgusted as they claim, and they refused to buy her music, or watch her videos, do you think she would be as famous, as popular?”

      My thoughts exactly.

  7. Rhonda says:

    Sinead, is correct, for us not to prostitute ourselves through our sexuality/sensuality, because we are in fact, so much more. I think sometimes we get so many mixed messages from our culture, our families, our spiritual and religious traditions. It is beyond just sexual prostitution, we in fact, can prostitute our spirit.

    As a mother, of a teenage son, when I started dating after my divorce… I remember many men asking if I had any private photos? to which I replied, “All my photos are those that I would be willing and comfortable for my son and family and friends to see.” How can I teach my son to value women, if I do not value myself? I have made mistakes in dating, but as Sinead says, “If you have an innocent heart, you do not recognize those who do not.”

    I am a whole person complete with both spirituality and sensuality and intellect and humor, and on and on. And Matt, I want to applaud you on your work. I had the good fortune to attend your “Get the Guy” event in Chicago with my sister. I love your idea of having a “unique pairing”… yes, we may not be the best at any one thing, but it is the whole of us that makes us engaging and irreplaceable.

    I do remember my worth today, though I have had those moments of doubts and confusion. My worth is rooted in the knowledge of believing I am created in the image of a loving God and so is everyone else on the planet. I need to care for and respect myself and extend respect to others.

    Thank you for not attacking Miley, as there have been countless others in the music industry of both sexes that have sexualized their performances and videos. And having advertising and design as part of my Bachelor’s study in university we were taught quite simply that “sex sells.” And it is known that a lot of advertising agencies hire people who are living at a lower spiritual awareness, to produce the racy ads that sell.

    We can make a difference though, by valuing all the women in our lives and encouraging them to remember their birthright, which is a holy undeniable worth.

    Thank you for valuing women and for helping us understand the male viewpoint better, so we can establish healthier relationships.

    Affectionately, with spirit hugs, Rhonda S.

  8. Amy says:

    I’m very happy to have read this letter. I hope this is a wake-up call to Miley and her family for not talking her out of these crazy things (VMA and video). She’s a beautiful young lady and pretty talented. I’m not sure why she would have to degrade herself in that manner. She’s young, but that’s no excuse.

  9. Amy says:

    Fantastic letter from a truly fantastic lady!
    I have love for Sinead! She is a true star.

    I guess time will tell wether Miley has already got herself in too deep here. I thought that a lot of her behaivour was possibly drug related, as many top stars fall prey to that and then follows other bad acts.

    You say Miley isn’t responsible for anything Mathew, but we are all responsible, when we pay any attetion, good or bad, we given energy to this.

    I still love the song ‘wrecking ball’, I was so impressed by the lyrics and I think that her voice is fab! But I was disturbed by parts of the video.

    Disturbed because I know it didn’t fit with who Miley really is. The voice/eyes don’t fit right now with her body image/behaivour, in my opinion she is out of sync with herself. That is what is coming across and why people are upset.

    I’m so glad that someone gave enough of a crap to write what is a truly loving and inspirational message to Miley, and being brave enough to truly expose the music industry in this way is just awesome.

    Sinead has shown herself to be of such awesome talent herself that she can indeed bite the hand that feeds her, and it will likely turn a blind eye to her comments. For any other stars this would be career suicide.

    Miley is likely already a big enough star that in time her talent will overshadow anything else that she does.

    Great discussion topic.

  10. Elizabeth says:

    KUDOS to you Matt and to Sinead! It is so refreshing to hear you express this point of view about women and also to hear Sinead “hit the nail on the head” so to speak!

  11. Just me says:

    It was a decent letter, however a HIGH-VALUE WOMAN would’ve probley left out the profanity!!!:(
    It was like she was going on a lower level herself!!!
    My,My,My LADY??? Don’t know about that!!!

  12. creativebebe says:

    i have partially seen the miley video and read this letter from ms. o’connor to miley. first i would like to say, there is a difference between being judgemental and discerning a situation for what it is. second, ms. o’connor was asked to respond because miley referenced her as inspiration for her wrecking ball video, which makes it appropriate for ms. o’connor to respond with this letter. in an ideal and perfect world, all parents would sit down to dinner and talk to their children about personal values and self-worth and making decisions based on choosing to be a high value person…but we don’t. we live in a world full of well-meaning, but flawed people. parents who should not have children and parents burning both ends of the candle to provide the best they can for their kids and everything in between. i personally am thankful that ms. o’connor wrote this open letter to miley. i hope more young people, especially women will read it and reflect on how they perceive themselves and allow other’s to treat them. ms. o’connor’s experience in the music industry and what she has seen makes her a highly credentialed person to be able to write this letter shedding light on what is really going on behind the veil. i don’t know about any of you, but if i am going down a road that is less than who i am, i sure as hell would want someone to sit me down and share what they are seeing. that is community, being neighborly and being a friend. we live in such a social media society anymore that in public spaces such as the park, you see people who are out amongst each other, but still very isolated and alone. we are losing the ability to connect as humans with one another, which is a fundamental part of our make up for emotional, mental and spiritual health. to connect and look out for one another.

    • Goldberry says:

      I agree, creativebabe. There’s unnecessary negative judgment vs. a total lack of judgment/discernment. I would prefer that girls and young women be openly told certain behavior is unworthy of them. Otherwise they think it’s what people value them for, like Sinead O’Connor said.

      I remember being shocked once by reading what a female celebrity said – “Who wouldn’t want to be on the cover of Playboy?” Honestly, a *lot* of people. I personally would consider it extremely degrading — not because I’m ashamed of my body but because I value it more than to throw it out there for free. Women should be respected, but we are feeding ourselves to the wolves…

      So encouraging to hear Sinead O’Connor *speak out* about this!

  13. ellie says:

    Miley is NOT Sinead connor, Sinead connor is super talented,a self made star with a healthy self esteem. Miley’s response to Sinead connor letter was completely out of line proving that Miley is very childish and insecure. But again Miley is simply a made up celebrity that was given everything and never had to earn anything on her own and now trying too hard to prove that she has what it takes to be a star in her own right. However, her low self worth and unhealthy boundaries work against her. But Miley is actually a metaphor to most women, we don’t think we are enough and therefore go overboard to entertain others and especially men. It’s SAD!

  14. Maureen says:

    What a truly inspiring woman Sinead is – full of courage, conviction, confidence and still charismatic at 47!!! True girl power in motion – thanks for sharing Matt. It’s made my day

  15. Tj says:

    I don’t listen to this person’s music but giving her the benefit of the doubt I’m going to assume she’s smart enough to realise that sex sells and giving the public exactly what they’re willing to pay for. Once they’re unwilling to pay, she’ll either re-invent herself or retire with a fairly hefty bank balance.
    It is not (in any way shape or form) her responsibility to look out for young women that may (or may) not consider her a role model.
    I am a little surprised and disappointed that after admitting that “I don’t like to judge people whose lives I know nothing about, and secondly because I don’t much care what they are up to.” you ended up using this ‘situation’ (and the response it elicited, both from society and from Sinead) anyway, as content for a blog post.
    Yea I’m probably giving you the expected response by commenting on it but consider this a callout.

  16. Linnea says:

    Sinead is also judging Miley and basically explaining to her that she is brainwashed into prostitution. That’s a very heavy and pretty disgusting accusation.

    I also react to the fact that men in the music industry are never burdened with the role model thing. Chris Brown beat up his girlfriend and Justin Bieber is doing all kinds of crazy things without anyone shaming them on being bad role models for men. And Thicke, who danced with Miley at the VMA’s, has gotten a totally different treatment from the media and the world than Miley.

  17. Nicky says:

    I take back everything I said earlier about Miley. Go to Huffington Post and check out the new photos. Yuck.

  18. Judy Armour says:

    I am a mother of two girls (8 & 11) and because of all this publicity we have had some interesting discussions based on the comments made in Sineads letter. Well done Sinead! The song is actually quite good and I am bemused as to how or why Miley is naked and licking a hammer…its quite ridiculous! It is a sad state of how low the music industry has become. I cant let my kids watch any of the music videos anymore and im not prudish. It’s just not necessary to behave in such a demoralising way to sell music.

  19. Josefin says:

    I want to start by saying that I like Mileys singing and some of her songs, for instance, if you don’t look at the video and only listen to the music, Wrecking ball is a really good song and it’s even kind-off mature. But I agree that the image she puts out is not a good one. As a young woman myself (22) I can say that I would never be influenced to act like that from watching her videos, or anyone else’s for that matter. I weren’t when I was younger either. Now of course there are kids, teenagers and young women that is influenced by her and who thinks that this is the way they need to be, how they need to act to ‘matter’. However it should be (is) their parents job to make sure from a young age that they are safe with themselves and feel valuable and so on and so forth. It’s not entertainers jobs to put us on a right path in life or show us how we should act or live, their job is to entertain, yes they do need to think about that they influence other people, but where do we draw the line for that? I’m like Matt in that I don’t care all to much about celebrities and all that, never have. But as a teenager I made mistakes that I wish I could take back, that was influenced by some of the less good role models in my life and all around me, but I’ve also made mistakes when I knew perfectly well that I would regret them later. It’s not easy to know how to act and it’s damn near impossible to know how the way we act may affect others. I think Miley is aware of what her behavior send out to people tho and I don’t think she really cares at the moment. In the future she will probably look back and condemn her own behavior but for now, personally, I think that even tho it is a great letter, it might not change the way Miley portrays herself. From what she herself have said she seems to be fully aware of herself and why she does the things she does. And in my opinion, as long as she feels like what she is doing is what she really wants, that it’s her own choice and that she feels good and strong doing it, I don’t see how it’s any of our business. When it comes to the bad influence affecting children and teenagers, like I mentioned before, it’s their parents and other parts of society’s, not entertainers, “job” to build up our children and women and make sure that they know that they have value and don’t need to be, like Sinead said, prostituting themselves to matter. I feel like I can go on more about all this but I should probably stop here xD
    I’m also just gonna go ahead and thank Matt, everyone on get the guy and all the women here, you guys are awesome! Love being a part of this community <3

  20. Nelia Flora says:

    I think that unfortunately most of the time , in our society, women are expected to flaunt their sexuality… and if they don’t show much of that side, they risk being rejected or almost ignored.But the thing is, if you allow yourself to live based on your sexuality ,believing that it is the most powerful “weapon” that you have ,you’ll become shallow and hollow…You’ll have no core confidence !So ,at first, it may seem fun to live based on that but in the long run it’ll damage your self-respect ! …And the consequences of that damage could be very dangerous to your physical and mental integrity .

  21. Laura says:

    Wow awesome words of wisdom from a lady with experience. Crisp,clear and to the point. Don’t sell yourself out for less than what your worth. If Miley believes that is what she is worth that’s her choice, just seems a bit dissapointing tbh. Who really benifits from all this?

  22. Elise says:

    The most stunning thing about this article (and the whole hype in general) is how important people actually think Miley Cyrus is… I mean.. she’s a half-baked ex-tweeny-bopper who wants attention because her way-too-good-for-her boyfriend finally grew a brain and dumped her. She is so shockingly average and unremarkable, I just don’t get what all the fuss is about her. I neither dislike her nor adore her, but I do think all this attention being shined on her antics only serves to encourage them. Plus, it doesn’t hurt that she pulls in a fat check every time she’s talked about on TV and in magazines. Hell, I’d probably even let myself go crazy to make an extra couple million too. Why? BECAUSE WHO CARES WHAT PEOPLE THINK. Miley Cyrus is probably sitting up somewhere smoking weed and thinking how great it is that she’s capitalizing on the unsavory American culture that supports and valorizes idiotic and wanton behavior. Anyways, long story short, I’m just tired of hearing about her already. Can the world move on to more pressing issues???

    As for this woman who wrote her this letter–I think her heart is in the right place, but ultimately the effect of her action was that she, yet again (like the rest of the world), just gave Miley the attention she so desperately seeks. And I’m 22 and not a parent–but I think the best way to correct a spoiled child is to not pay attention when they act up. Children don’t distinguish between negative and positive attention–attention is just purely attention, and in their minds, that’s mission accomplished.

    Anyways. In closing, my heart goes out to Hannah Montana, who I mourn the passing of in the wake of this wrecking ball that is Miley Cyrus.

    • Chenni says:

      Agreed totally. Rather than misleading by people who want to make money out her, she knew exactly what she’s doing cause it’s proven to be effective. Britney is still here, Jenet is still here, even Lindsay is still here. If Miley didn’t do it, there’s always someone else. We are surprised because she’s Hannah!

  23. Karen Hammond says:

    Hi Mathew, I find your website informative and positive. Id be interested in finding out what your opinion is on this letter to sinead from another musician amanda palmer. I agreed with most of what sinead said but something about it made me feel uncomfortable because as well as having respect for yourself as a woman I think its so important have self expression and empowerment. There seems to be a trend on websites and in real life for slut shaming. This worries me as it leads to the whole,’you deserved it because of what you were wearing trend.’ I definately dont agree with the constant sexualisation of women either. How do we find the balance between being a sexual being, freedom of expression and speech and doing being exploited and of less value.Karen,link to letter-

  24. Katherine Kirkland says:

    Hi Matthew,

    I thought that letter from Sineade was an incredible act of love from one wise woman to another in need of help. There was a huge amount of wisdom, passion and concern in her words. How brave she is to speak out like that. I hope Miley and her peers listen.

    I am a little concerned that Sineade talks quite damningly about men. In their industry I’m sure they are like that. In normal circumstances though I think we need to be a little more open to the possibility that men are not all awful and there are some good ones about.

    Interesting post Matt, thanks!

    Katherine x

  25. Jay says:

    Powerful. The music industry is sending such a dangerous message through Miley, Rihanna, and Brittany etc. It’s that even if you are showered with talent and strength they can/will break you down to a simple flashy sex slave. It’s really sad, and I’m not sure what the reason is (maybe shock value/ maybe $$$$). But it makes woman like myself put too much emphasis on the external dress/ overt sexiness to impress men, and not really working on the inner voice and beautiful self expression.

  26. Kamilla says:

    Sinead is a truly great woman. I loved her letter. Its message is very important. What Miley is going through, what the industry is going through and what is going on in the society right now.

    I am very alergic to anything that comodify the female body. I wasnt before because it was so normal to me, but little by little I realized just how sick it is.

    My ex used to tell me to dress more sexy, to show more skin. And I wasn’t comfortable with that, I made resistance. And he made me feel bad about it, saying I was uncomfortable in my body, that I needed to be released. Ive always been shy. But he never really got it. It was far more complex for me, it was about values. I dont want to be percieved as a peice of meat. I dont want that kind of male attention. I mean, I dont cover myself up in tents. I wear tight stuff. Im not afraid. Its a choice. I want to be respected as a human being, valued for my mind and heart. Not my body, not my sexappeal. Its sad that he had to have that point of view, that the society teaches us that women are valued by their looks.

    But its our choice, we women have the choice in our hand. We can decide how we want to be percieved. We can dress how we want. I dont want to say that nakedness doesnt deserve respect. It does. Because the naked person is still a person. But we can control the reactions. We can control the message we want to give out. And we can respect ourselves and make choices that are best for us and no one else has a say about that.

    Thank you Matthew for a very valuable post.

  27. Henrietta says:

    I remember listening to Sinead O’Connor’s album ‘Universal Mother’ when u was 10 and one ding that stuck with me was the one about a woman’s womb not being a football for you. That relates to this letter and Miley Cirus. I think that before men view woman in a different way, woman have to start respecting themselves for themselves first and support each other before men rill start living and respecting woman. Sadly, this attitude is shouting out to men it’s ok for us to be your ‘bitch’. It’s ok for you to use me. Then you blame men for ogling and perving..something is not quite right. It’s not cool or empowering. If you want to be in control, cover up. Dare to conform. That is courageous, being naked unless it’s for yourself or your partner is boring.

  28. Elaine says:

    Hi Matt,
    I very much respect and whole heartedly agree with Sinead’s comments.
    I never pay attention to celebrity gossip or have any care for the sex obsessed music industry.
    It makes me sad that it’s in this state in the first place. I wonder why there’s such a market for devaluing women.
    It makes me sad how so many people judge this little girl instead of looking to the source. There’s far too much objectification of women I feel.
    Then other women who choose to act this way are shot down when they’re a product of the problem.
    I guess people need to value one another rather than look at someone as an object. Men seem to get away with exploiting women like this in their music videos but yet Miley and co seem to receive all the judgement. It just feels wrong.


    • Goldberry says:

      Good thoughts, Elaine. I’ve come to realize it’s probably the sexual revolution that did this to our culture. Now women are hardly protected at all anymore, and we are naive about the fact that *lust* is such a force in men’s lives. It’s reached the point where pornography is considered normal, and women have to compete with it… so a lot of men have trouble understanding why some women (who retain their self-respect) would not behave like porn stars!

      That’s probably why women are judged more harshly. It’s backwards, but people who know how some men operate on lust can be disgusted when women fail to run away, but instead leap into the lion’s den – especially to further a career. It’s tough to see any woman devalue herself like that.

  29. Nicky says:

    Last word: I kind of thought good for Miley. She was going through a rotten time with her boyfriend, and she needed to break out of a mould. I think that no one will forget her performance, and that kind of makes her stand out. Her tongue sticking out thing was kind of 50’s on rollerskates which doesn’t fit in with this century, let alone Miley’s shaved head. I’m waiting with anticipation to see how she’ll build her career going forward. Go Miley!

  30. hrcorks says:

    Whoa. I’m glad she said it. And in a very non-judgemental way. I totally agree and I hope Miley listens, more for herself than anyone else, including those who look up to her. Its so sad to see young women go the way of rehab and self-destruction and I absolutely hope the best for Miley and that she does not fall to the bottom as we have so often seen young female stars do in the pages of magazines.

  31. Petra says:

    The last paragraph nailed it. Not only artists are role models, but all of us can be role models for anybody else. I live in this world thinking – How am I gonna impact others? Because this is what gives my life a huge sense – the feeling I touched sb, that I had impact and sb got inspired by me. There is no way to be a good role model if ain’t high value women. Cheers!

  32. Lily Callahan says:

    I am neutral to not impressed by Miley Cyrus’s recent antics. But I do resent that Robin Thicke, her co-performer, is not being called out more for the massive misogyny of his Blurred Lines video, particularly the original one where he and his buddies were ogling naked women. Even my cynical self was shocked how blatantly pornographic it was. Compared to the behavior of the women on the video, Miley comes across as someone reappropriating her sexuality. Of course it doesn’t come across that way on the clips but let us begin by slamming Thicke’s utter calousness. Such a pity as Blurred Lines is musically one of the freshest and most original songs to come along in a long time. It didn’t need to be sold on the naked backs of women.

  33. Nicky says:

    And who could forget… Sinead burnt a picture of the pope once. A lot of stars do dumb things and a lot of normal people like you and I do dumb things. Goodnight ladies! Thanks for the respect Matt – you’re doing a lovely job by making is ladies remember what were about.

    • Audrey says:

      “The Roman Catholic Church has been rocked by a steady stream of priests charged in child sex abuse cases internationally, something O’Connor has repeatedly spoken out on in the past dating back to her infamous “Saturday Night Live” performance in 1992 when she ripped up a photo of the late Pope John Paul II and said “fight the real enemy” in reference to child abuse. In 2010 Pope Benedict XVI issued an apology to the victims of sex abuses over the decades.” – Huffingtonpost

      I don’t know how to justify Miley though. As for any of my stupidity, I assure I don’t flaunt it on worldwide TV. I don’t make allowances for myself, I admitted I was wrong that it was indeed stupid, not something to be proud of, never a highlight of my life and I never disrespected my Mother because of it.

  34. Ariane says:

    I feel that the key message in this letter is the following: “respect yourself and others will respect you”. Any “high value woman” (though I don’t really like this concept either) should acknowledge that her existence, her presence to the world as a “being”, as such, is enough, and that the rest is mere noise, distraction. It’s the only way to be consistent with who you really are.

    Don’t let that noise distract you or others from who you really are. Acknowledging your existence as a person will help you keep the demons and the bad people at bay.

  35. Nicky says:

    On a more serious note: I was thinking when I saw a pic of Sinead why didn’t you ever grow your hair, woman? She’s gorgeous. She’s saying all this stuff about woman being beaitiful, but she’s a bit manly. I shaved my hair off once out of pure rebellion… Like 16 years ago, so I don’t judge, but Sinead you could have been a real beauty with long hair. Love your quirkiness and stance anyway :)

  36. Agostinha Jacinto says:

    GREAT LETTER! :) really, says exactly what she need to listen…and its funny…that when i first saw the video of wrecking ball i thought…why is she licking the hammer? WHAT?!?!?….and i was like, she really can sing…the music is good…but then…why this video? O_O

  37. Ana says:

    Yes! A message for the human being, on human beings! Thank you, thank you!

  38. Angela K says:

    Hi Matthew and all lovely ladies on this blog,

    To be completely honest, until I got my weekly gtg e-mail today, I knew nothing about any of this. Mostly, because I’m not interested in celebrities, gossip etc. but most importantly because I couldn’t care shit anyway.

    However, being of a curious nature, I googled Miley Cyrus, had a quick read and it seems that she is not a bit grateful for Sinead O’Conner’s help and care. Sinead took the time to try to help and talk sense into Miley, but clearly Miley is a spoilt, ignorant brat, and sadly, may have to learn the hard way. But whatever happens, I probably won’t know anyway, because I’m not interested.

    Have a great day everyone,

    Angela x

  39. Nicky says:

    Right. That’s it! Everyone shave your hair off and wear long skirts and doc martens.

  40. Kathy says:

    I read this letter when it first came out and I could not agree more with what was said. I also watched Miley’s show on MTV and understood where she is coming from as well. She was told for so long how to dress, how to act, how to eat. She basically exploded. I relate to this because I did the same thing at her age but now that I am 10 years older I see what Sinead is saying and I 100% regret acting that way because I was not being true to myself and was letting people treat me in a way that was not respectful to myself. At the time I thought I was being a rebel and felt like I needed to prove something to everyone but only ended up hurting myself and later realizing that nobody cared what I was doing.

  41. Cynthia says:

    It was haunting, vulnerable, inexplicably beautiful and twenty years later we can never forget Sinead in Nothing Compares 2 U. A woman showing her soul through her eyes and song – that was true beauty. It reminds us that when we value ourselves but are not afraid to be truly authentic and vulnerable – that is what is attractive. Miley – you have much to learn, I watched your video for 5 sec, and turned it off – it was forgettable and pathetic. Look to Sinead’s video for artistry that will be remembered for years to come. That’s the type of performance that lingers through time.

  42. Laura says:

    It’s like michelangelo said about sculpting a statue, ‘it’s easy, you have a block of marble, inside there’s a beautiful statue, all you need is a chisel to knock away the marble around it’. Miley is the statue and Sinead gets what Michelangelo said. The chisel is miley hearing her. When we knock away the uniseful bits of marble around the outside we are powerful and unstoppable :)

    Touch, move and inspire x

  43. Nicky says:

    Matt… Sinead is VERY quirky. I’m surprised you respect a letter from the ultimate of quirky chicks in the world. If she was single, what advice would you give her on getting the guy ;p

    PS the only thing I disagree with in your book is that a woman shouldn’t be too quirky. 89% of your work I love, but Pygmalion is so last Century. Only yanking your chain – I love your work!

  44. Lorine says:

    I loved Sinead’s letter, it was so loving. Its so true that when we value ourselves highly then others also do so. I pray that Miley realizes it sooner.

  45. Christiane Schull says:

    Sinead O’Connor, you rock. Wow. What An incredibly powerful and sincere letter. It is a letter for everyone – men, women, mothers, fathers, sisters, brothers, husbands, wives, girlfriends, boyfriends – everyone should read it. An anthem to self-love and dignity and a cautionary tale all in one.

  46. Jamie says:

    Hi Matt;) its MTV !its not about high value woman there its about exotic performance that should be like a shock show and make a wow!!!!well she did it very well ;) her performance as a job with her being a high standard woman is two different category here !she could be a high standard woman when she is in a relationship!i guess there should nt be any judgment regarding what she did and questioning her performance !she did what she had to do ;) I’m not the fan but I think with her performance she didn’t disqualify hersel being a high standard woman!

  47. Lisa says:

    This is an important letter. Not just because she took the time to send it to Miley, but because we ALL get to read it. That is the value of a role model. She is helping Miley and all of us, at every age. Americans don’t get that very often. Europeans and Asians have the gem of their elders wisdom and we don’t have that. Hence even Washingtonians are acting like spoiled teenagers. No one us teaching us how to behave. Even elephants in the wild need elders to reign in the hormonal teenagers, who need to become active members of the group. People are precious and she is hanging out on a limb. Hopefully she will see this letter and it can resonate through the noise. Maybe Beyonce will see it as well and we can all have a beautiful half time show without uncomfortable visions of her vagina gyrating and her squished up face. It would be wonderful to see a woman, a star, value her talent sans her sexuality (Janet Jackson, Madonna, lady Gaga). And it is GREAT to hear some other people feel the same way. I am no prude but I feel violated when I know the state of a singers Brazilian waxing when I’m having popcorn and expecting an afternoon of wholesome sports.

  48. Ann Sofie says:

    “Your body is for you and your boyfriend” at first I was a bit concerned about this sentence, because it can seem a bit puritan however..
    I think Sinead belives that Miley doesnt have expose her naked body to whole world
    at the same time :)
    what she do in her private life is her own business


  49. Ani Grigorova says:

    A M A Z I N G N !
    It couldn’t be said better. Take my hat on Sinead. I wish this letter is shown in any school and morals studied. it s a shame how yang girls dress and behave copping and following celebrities.
    Having acces to easy sex more and more men disrespect and mistreat the rest and never commit.

  50. casey says:

    This letter is nothing new. Miley’s wacko’s behavior is not the first and it wont be the last. Women like Miley who come across as a slut, will eventually have a lonely life with nobody there at the end. Stars end up dying on drugs, drinking or both. Miley is spiraling downward. Maybe she be Lindsey’s roommate soon. She needs help! I hope she gets it. People are buying her records because of her songs/voice, not her wacko, slutty behavior.

  51. Laura says:

    Well what a great letter. She has the knowledge and the respect to give such great advice. I liked her message of recognizing when she is being exploited and used by an industry that doesn’t really care about her but the money they make. I have to say I agree with Sinead’s use of the term prostitute because that is the first thing that poped into my mind when I saw her on the stage acting like a sleeze. Her music is amazing and she should know that without putting her sexual self out there. Too bad Rhianna didn’t get the same message, too many very talented women in the music industry are being fooled into becoming whorish women. Like yourself more than anyone! Do what you now is right don’t let anyone change the talent you have to become deminished by sex and that message. I have an eight year old grand daughter and she loves Miley and Rhianna but guess what she can’t watch their videos because of the content and I would never want her to mimic their sexual manners and guess what she does. To see an eight year old girating and trying to be sexy is sickening not cute. She has a great voice but has all these moves that are just wrong. Remember girls you are role models these little girls who have talent are being led into the wrong path by following you. Wether you like it or not.

  52. Umi says:

    It’s kind of sad that Miley did not respond in a very positive way to that letter. Maybe she’d seen her father struggle (as a country musician) all her life, that’s why she now thinks that bad publicity is better than no publicity at all.

  53. Mahima Mehta says:

    Love the letter Matt! Thank you so much!

  54. Ann Sofie says:

    Sinead O´connor has always held my admiration and now even so much more. She talks as a true high value woman.
    I remenber that there where singers, when she came out as a singer, that had long curly hair and low cut tops and often bikinis in their videos.

    She is still a music icon and if she hadnt been true to herself and her selfrespect, she would have become flash in the pan.

    She genuinely gives this advice on the belief that Miley is another woman, that she respect and wouldnt want to see abased of greedy people, often men in the entertainment business. For that I respect her even more.

    There are dozens of young beautifull women in musicvideos in next to no clothes.. So many we almost doesnt notice them anymore. If you want to make an impression, keep your clothes on and respect yourself, your talent and want you want to do.

    Many women are taught from a young age, that we will only be noticed or be of any value if we show a lot of skin and are looking like filmstars . Of cause is difficult to go against this flood of misinformation and grow your own opinion and view on this false picture the world want us to believe. But I hope Miley knows the true picture now and will listen to here own idol, Sinead O´connor words of wisdom.


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  55. Diana says:

    I do agree with the basic sentiment. Nobody should be exploited, or coerced into behaving a certian way just to please others.
    However, Sinead’s letter makes me a little uncomfortable as well. Saying that being naked is “not cool”, that her body is for her and her boyfriend only… No, actually, she can give her body to whomever she wants. It’s true that it is a horrible thing if she give oversexualized performances just because it sells better, because the people that want to make money off of her, tell her to do so. That is true in every way. But Sinead implies that being naked, that showing off your body like that, is always bad. It is not. Nothing is bad as long as it doesn’t hurt you or other people, there is no simpler way to put it.
    Oh, and: “We don’t encourage our daughters to walk around naked in it because it makes them prey for animals and less than animals” – really?
    This is one huge part of what is wrong with our society, that we tell our daughters to dress a certain way in order to not be looked at, or, in the worst case, not get raped. Yes, we still do that – but to use it as an argument? I am a little disappointed. We should strive for a world where everybody can walk around naked without being judged, or attacked. And that that world doesn’t exist yet is to blame on people who judge, on people who attack – not on people who dress a certain way.

    So, in brief, I agree that Miley should treat herself and her body with respect and avoid people who try to get her to do things she doesn’t want to.
    But I truly disagree that that means she cannot give highly sexualized performances. It also doesn’t mean she shouldn’t cover herself during a performance. It means she can do whatever the fuck she wants. By showing confidence and respect towards her own decisions and her body, she will set a good example. No matter how she expresses that respect and no matter what those decisions are, as long as they are truly hers.

    • Goldberry says:

      Of course she can do what she wants. Sinead is warning her of what the results will be for her and for other women. We don’t live in a utopian world where men look on bare flesh as if it were cloth. What you call “judgment” I would call “realism”.

  56. Jill says:

    I couldn’t agree more! I’m gonna have to digest this and later I will let you know all of my thoughts. I did hear her say that at 20 she feels she knows herself and I thought WOW because I know I have changed in so many ways since I was 20 and realize that I had no clue who I was or where my life was going. With that said I’m going to think about this a little and give my input later :)

  57. Heather says:

    Ahhh…Miley. What more is there to be said? She is smarter than most give her credit for and she knows it. This whole thing is a well thought out publicity stunt – nothing more.

    The question Matthew asks us to consider here is a very interesting one. However, here is my question, “who is to say Miley doesn’t know she is a high-valued woman and acting as such?”

    First, what constitutes a high-valued woman as defined by Matthew?
    1. Self-confidence: “she knows her abilities, her appeal, and what she deserves” (GTG).
    2. Independence: “she has a life she adores and is engaged in meaningful activities that make her passionate about each day” (GTG).
    3. Integrity: “a woman of integrity doesn’t compromise what she believes in simply in order to seek approval from others” (GTG).
    4. Femininity: letting a man feel he has value/a role in your life (paraphrased from GTG).

    I think we can all say that Mylie qualifies and exhibits the first two aspects of a high-valued woman: self-confidence and independence, (check and check!).

    Now, for integrity as defined by Matthew (in relation to Miley and the letter he shared by O’Connor) I would have to say Miley has stuck it out and not, “compromise what she believes in simply in order to seek approval from others.” Right after this letter was written by O’Connor she (Mylie) stood her ground and rebuked O’Connor’s “concerns” (US Magazine article). So I think we can say that with all the negativity surrounding Mylie’s new look/behavior, she has stuck to her image with unwavering confidence.

    Next, about her femininity, I don’t rightly know if there is any real way to answer whether she is being properly feminine or not. The image of femininity has changed over every decade and century, along with it’s roles. If we are to look at Matthew’s definition then who’s to know except for those close to her as to whether she allows men to play their role and have value in her life. So I would say this aspect is probably not significant in the way in which we are speaking of a high-valued woman.

    Overall, Mylie has exhibited three of the top aspect of a high-valued woman and the fourth is trivial to our means of discussion. So, even though I am not a fan of Mylie’s nor do I agree with her VMA and Wrecking Ball actions/image; I must admit she exhibits everything to suggest she is a high-valued woman. Whether we like it or not.

    I’d love to hear your thoughts on this Matthew.

  58. caroline says:

    When the song is that good,it can sell all by itself.x

  59. Alicia Sky says:

    As a music artist reading this letter, I found myself with my jaw to the floor and mouthing to my myself Oh. My. G-d. She’s right.
    This letter came at the perfect time for me to see because of a situation in my life, and I know it’s written to Miley, whom I respect for her talent, and it has a powerful message that can speak to other women reading it.
    Yes, it’s true that if you cover up more you’ll be seen as a respectable person with a mind, and how you dress manifests the way you see yourself and act. When I go on dates I definitely cover up more than I used to, and skip the club and opt for a cafe. However, with the music industry it’s all too easy to dress less modest to try to attract more people to watch your video/show, which equals more money/popularity. But at what cost? Millions of people all over the internet with their undeserving eyes judging every inch. They haven’t earned that right.
    I can see the path she’s on. Britney, Madonna and Christina all did it, and they’re very successful. It could be a phase and everyone will look back and be like remember when… ?
    Someone asked me yesterday what part of my body do i like to be complimented on. I said… my personality, my mind! They looked surprised. I caught them off guard. Then the guy started talking about abs.
    Shock people with your personality, your mind, your values, your goals and dreams. Those things are diamonds!

    – Alicia

    ps- Matt, you’re becoming my new best friend! I love watching your videos and I look forward to them like coffee and advice with a trusted pal!

  60., Monique says:

    I was not going to write, but, I read it, and you ask for the opinion, so here it comes…. Well, I am a bit sick tonight, catching some viruses from other people 2 days ago I guess, surrounded by sick people while attending a conference. Not really in the mood to have an opinion as I normally do, but the letter is quite interesting and your encouragement for us to value ourself more, from there I go…

    I find it is such a lovely letter, I wish someone cares for me that much. At that time, Madonna, was not so lucky, to be surrounded by smart and caring artists as we are today caring for young stars just like Justin Bieber & Miley.

    Older wiser stars do address directly to the rich and famous young celebrities. So people express their concerns, which is good to give your HONEST opinion as long as it is HONEST & sincere. I salut her for that, and it is up to Miley to think it is wise to embrace the concerns yes or no. It is up to the circumstances around her. Much love and admiration for you Matthew.

  61. Kathryn says:

    What a wonderful letter, so eloquently put together by someone who obviously a high value woman. When we are high value women we know from experience how very important these wise words are. The sentiments at the end of the letter lead so well onto the sentiments in your book. A woman’s body, her desire, the expression of her sexuality and femininity should be expressed within a safe, loving environment.
    When alarm bells are ringing, when behaviour is not right, you are not being valued you should walk away. Everything else will then be right. It will be loving, of value, not sleazy, one- sided. Sinead is right, when we have a good heart, when we are young and innocent it is not so easy yo recognise or take heed of these alarm bells.
    My goodness is it worth holding out for something of value, because when something is right you will feel it, you will know.
    Mother figures of high value need to be respected and so do sensitive men like Matthew who have all our best interests at heart. It’s why we instinctively love Matthew, we know he has a heart of gold and is more in tune with the human psyche than anyone we know.
    Please continue the good work Matthew. So many wise words from someone so young.
    Kathryn xx

  62. Nelly says:

    I like Miley’s music and her talent attracts me to her. I agree with you Sinead, Your letter is to simply help her realize her dignity is on the line. But more importantly to protect her from self-destructive weather adapted by choice or trained behaviors. I liked wrecking balls sound but when I saw the video it felt a little too much…and inconsistent with the true meaning of the song. This is me however, this is my opinion. God help her and us all too in this world.

  63. Jay says:

    Many thanks for posting Sinead’s open letter. It’s so good to hear this message from a venerable lady who rocks, and rocks on. I will remember this letter and its message to all of us women who are sometimes tempted to forego our standards in our quest to feel loved, and am grateful for it.

  64. Tanya says:

    Sinead’s response is awesome. Spoken like a warrior princess.

    Unfortunately, the music biz rewards women for acting like tramps and then labels it “sexy”. It is not sexy, it is trashy and unoriginal.

    I hope that at some point, Miley establishes boundaries around her self worth, and make the choice to defend those boundaries fiercely.

  65. Laura says:

    “None of the men ogling you give a shit about you either, do not be fooled. Many’s the woman mistook lust for love. If they want you sexually that doesn’t mean they give a fuck about you. All the more true when you unwittingly give the impression you don’t give much of a fuck about yourself.”

    It may be the worst thing about so-called “popular culture” right now. Whether it’s Rihanna, Lady Gaga or Miley, it doesn’t matter. It’s seriously disturbing the way they act on stage/in their videos.

    It’s really interesting to get this kind of a newsletter from a GUY. Thanks! xo

  66. tacha says:

    Rihanna* …. if anything miley is a perfect example of what the core of the industry can do to young women. Pimps in videos with erotic dancers,half naked women all over the media. It’s damaging. To men and women.

  67. Desiree B. says:

    I read this letter yesterday as well and thought she did a very good job of getting her point across without blatantly offending Miley (even though that’s not how it was perceived from the latter, according to her Twitter posts after the letter).
    One point Sinead mentions in the letter is how women who perform sexually suggestive actions in order to show that they are empowered are not coming across as they think they are, and are definitely NOT empowering other women. I agree with that because I don’t think we need to show that we’re comfortable with being sexualized by being suggestive to millions of people (or really, to anyone).
    We don’t need to prove anything. If you’re truly empowered, you don’t feel the need to PROVE it to anyone. That’s like someone saying, “Hey, I’m really nice. Trust me. I’m so nice that I’m going to give you a bouquet of flowers. See? I’m nice, right?” You don’t have to do things to prove yourself if you truly are nice, empowered, etc. It’s just something you exude in your life because that’s what/who you are. You’re nice and decide to give a bouquet of flowers to show someone you appreciate them or help brighten their day, not so they’ll believe you’re nice.
    Basically, I think people are trying so hard to prove to others (and in actuality, themselves) that they ARE what they WANT to be. Let’s stop trying and start doing. If it is your true character, people will notice without you needing to prove it. =)

  68. tacha says:

    Where do we draw the line here? I assume sinaed feels the same way about Gaga for example… Channa has also had her moments… why is miley any more of a role model than them if not for her Hannah Montana image? Do we assume that young people will listen only to miley and not be equally exposed to other celebrity role models? Don’t start with miley. Someone do something about mtv!

  69. Emily says:

    Wow, it’s absolutely amazing. That Sinead wrote that letter and what she says. She’s so right with it and women should remember that more often. It’s our bodies and we should be proud enough of ourselves to be careful with who we show it to.
    First and foremost what touched me of it is that she reminded me that it doesn’t have anything to say if a guy is turned on by me and wants me in a sexual way. REAL love and REAL friendship should be based on different things. This may sound a little obvious and clear but for me it was important to hear (or read) that again.
    Thank you Sinead O’Connor and thank you Matthew, you’re doing such a great thing to so many people. Even my male friends profit from it in the meantime ;)

    Lots of love, Emily

    PS: Sorry if there are any language mistakes, I’m not a native English speaker.

  70. Rivka says:

    I love that letter. Thank you Matt, for sharing it.

  71. Devorahrosa estrella says:

    Yes thank you Sinead i connor! Thank you Miley for choosing sucha beautiful, sexy, wise and tslanted inspiration for your misic and life. I was a stripper in my 20’s and Sinead was one of my favorite musicians…i will definitively say, she was the better more enriching and longer lasting influence of the two.
    It is true what shd says, these guys do not give a flying, or even a walking Fuck about you as a person. Command the power of woman kind at every age…refuse to dance for a paltry supper at the table of your enemys. I love you.
    Thank you MAthew.
    Yours in Sisterhood
    Devorah rose honey bee light

  72. Florina says:

    I love that you don’t care much about celebrities or what the majority thinks. It has been my motto so far. To be honest I don’t even know what Miley did, guess she got naked or almost naked in public. As far as being a role model, I don’t believe it’s fair to blame celebrities for someone else’s choice. It sounds ridiculous when you think about it: ‘why were you naked in the club? Oh, i saw x,y,z on the tele’ Really? It’s stupid. I believe it all comes to how much you think you’re worth and how confident someone is in their strength. We all question ourselves at some point or have things we could improve. The main thing is to be objective about them and to change what we don’t like. And it’s also a matter of limits. We all ha d do’s and don’ts. And as long as the boundaries are clear for us, they will become clear for everyone. It’s about being true to yourself. Like she put it in the letter, it becomes quite clear that Miley doesn’t really care much about herself either and if she doesn’t, why would the others? And it makes perfect sense. It’s about puting oneself first, before everyone else’s interest, cause the others already put their interest on a top place.

    To conclude, if you don’t want other to see yourself like a sex object (just think how offended we get when having a conversation with a guy while he has one wih our boobs) start treating yourself like a person.

  73. Julie Morey says:

    You go Sinead. Thank you for speaking truly and I hope to God Miley listens.

  74. Tricia says:

    Wow. Thank you Sinead O’Connor for caring and being a Real Role Model to women everywhere. Thankyou Matthew for posting this. Well Done.

  75. Judy says:

    I respect Sinead O’Connor for trying to offer some good advice…unfortunately, it’s falling on deaf, young, ignorant, I’m too young to die, kind of ears…Miley will learn the hard way and she too will fall out of sight like so many before her.

  76. Monica says:

    I agree with every word Sinead O’Connor writes. The message is clear and true.

    One small obervation: Shame she had to resort to bad language. You can’t possibly offend anyone by saying the same thing in plain English but clearly, her audience is wide and someone is goin g to be offended with f-words flying about. Also, it can seem ‘cool’ to swear but of course it’s not. `A woman’s value is always brought down a notch if she uses truck-driver language as Sinead did there. Even though I appeciate Sinead is known for her ‘say it as it is’ approach – it doesn’t help her cause to suggest young women value themselves and then underline her advice with cheap, downmarket language!

    It would be the same if she were a man.

    but of course, her sentiments are good and all the better because she is 47.


  77. Danielle says:

    you might also want to check out amanda palmer’s response to sinead’s letter:

  78. Judith says:

    Here is my attempt at answering your queries:

    In truth: I really prefer the comments above where you state you don’t really care about the whole situation.. and what the population as a whole thinks. It mirrors my view of it too.. who cares?! It’s their life and there are ups and downs to every life.. so what?!

    Each of us has the power to live in the now and focus on bettering oneself and giving to and nurturing ourselves, giving to others and growing to make the world a more empowered and quality-full, loving, attentive and dynamic place.

    And yet, we are to a degree puppets, getting completely wrapped up in and turned around by media and then choosing to look at all the ‘news’ rather than looking at ourselves and take control of what it is that we can control. Ever notice on how the ‘news’ and versions of it like television, soap operas etc.. is catastrophic, miserable, shocking, sad, gossip.. and mainly never focuses on self. It’s almost as if we need the misery of the world or of others to create a life of meaning. Focus on everyone else’s poo and you don’t have to worry about or face your own. And vicious circle.. the more we do that, the more we feed the media what it takes for them to make more ‘news’ and money.. and it spirals.

    So my take on it all: live YOUR life to the fullest, search to grow always, when you make a mistake or live a tough moment, just get right back up and learn from it.. it has strengthened you, focus on the now and what is in your direct control.. do your best and come from an open/trusting/believing in the good of others perspective. Difference is amazing, not threatening. Complement yourself with others and fly. Give, love, grow, live.

    The minute we focus on ourselves, celebrate our worth and the worth of others and rejoice in the good out there (and even thirst for it) maybe we can shift media’s attention and broadcast.

    As to what Sinead thinks and expresses, part of me says again: who cares?! The other side feels like giving wing to your query:

    1) We are all extremely talented and powerful individuals. As such, we don’t need to objectify ourselves or be objectified by others for personal gains as often those gains are usually at a cost to ourselves.

    2) Self worth, self love, self respect: the basis for assertiveness and knowing and even expressing what is important to self and relating openly and honestly with others. An endless journey.

    3) According to your own teachings: ‘High Value Woman’.. it is important to be one.. or we will be taken for a ride. But that ride, goes back to point 2.. self worth,love and respect.

    She was publicly implicated in a comment, and wants to warn someone who she feels may be loosing herself in that industry publicly. So it could be potentially well meant and indeed kind.

    Still, we all know, whatever the intent, it is not always the impact/outcome and sometimes has no consequence. Miley will take her journey whichever way she chooses… as there is always a choice. And what she decides do to, will be her life. She will fall, learn, get back up, fly etc. etc., Too bad she will be so exposed and feel like she has to make this impression.

    I wish you all love, growth, love and life.

    Matthew, back at you. Let me know what you think when you have the time. And hello from the UK.

    •, Monique says:

      Do you ever care for someone or Just being a very big Philosopher ?

      • Judith says:

        HI Monique, Thanks for the message.

        I have never been called a Philosopher.. so thanks.

        And of course I care for others and have been in a few relationships that have made my heart ache, even break..
        So I open myself up to it completely.

        I love a handful of very close friends, my family dearly, animals and furry friends fully and would love nothing more than to find a special someone to reciprocate a non platonic love with.

        The post was however not about love and care for someone. :)

        Let me know if I have not answered your post. Have a great weekend (and hope your mood is better today).

        • M says:

          No, the post is about Miley. Not about a guy, neither pets, or close friends or family. You still are speaking about YOURSELF. The article is about female value and judgments. NOT about your OWN circumstances. It is normal that you care when it comes to a guy you are with or a pet in your house.

          So, think for one time outside of your OWN cicles, but how about certain behaviour of a female affecting her life and society.
          You DID mention in your post that you do not CARE at all what she is doing with her life.

          • Judith says:

            Hi M. Well, I seemed to have upset you and for that I am sorry. It was not my intent.

            1) I response was not about Miley Cyrus, but about a letter written to her by Sinead O’Connor.

            2) I find it terrible that we are always led by Media and the stories in it and very sad that Miley is so much in the spotlight. Sadder yet, she is probably there purposely to get more ‘reputation’ and ‘news’ spread about herfor the sales of her music. And though I am sure she is led by her managers etc, she has a huge choice in all of this too. It’s a danger that her example could be leading future generations of young women to act the same, if they think that’s the best way to get attention. I appreciated the fact that Sinead would want to warn Miley.

            3) Why in G-d’s name are we constantly speaking about this person? That’s what I don’t care for! Were I to be someone who could reach out to her and really make a difference, I would. Right now, I am just having a debate and sharing opinions with you.. and I can’t tell if that is going to have any positive outcome whatsoever.

            4) I can only speak in terms of my circles because those are the ones which affect my perception and also the ones I can influence. I am trying to broaden my sphere of influence. though that in itself is a slow journey.

            5) Women are amazing and so powerful. They don’t need to objectify themselves, they just need to know what’s important to them, be the best that they can be, sing to their strength and respect themselves and the difference around them. In doing so, they will influence naturally and in a positive way which will in turn influence their families, communities, cities, countries, the world.

            If I didn’t answer you in the way you deem, fit, then I don’t know what you are looking for and am probably missing the boat.. in any case, I wish you well and hope we can both make a massive difference for the positive in the worlds we live in.

  79. jamie says:

    2 things..

    First.. the main point she makes is that a woman doesn’t need to (and shouldn’t) place her value in her sexual appeal. Oddly enough, I whole-heartedly believed that I was worth only what I looked like until very recently. Logically, I knew that sounded odd, but when it came down to do.. my worth has been based on what kind of hair day I’m having and what’s on the scale for almost all of my life. I’m pretty sure I’m not alone there.. and I hope other females are waking up to that too- b/c it’s true that there is no power in that way of thinking (even though we are taught there is).

    Secondly, while I liked the advice on a whole.. and I don’t think this point applies to Miley, I do think that while we are teaching young woman that they are worth more than their looks… we also can’t shame them for taking pride in their bodies. It’s one thing to do it for attention… it’s another thing to feel good about yourself and be confident. I think the difference lies within the intention.

  80. Allison says:

    The whole music world manipulation plays into giving people a part of yourself that is personal. What she needs to focus on in the future is why is she doing it? That inner voice will be her best guide, not anyone elses opinion. Because ultimately it is your opinion of yourself that matters the most.

  81. Andrea says:

    Proverbs 31:10 is about the High-Value Woman…

    “Who can find a virtuous woman? for her price is far above rubies.”

    Rare gemstone :)

  82. Allison says:

    I have to agree 100%. As a young girl I was molested by family members, guilted into giving them what they were asking for. Then as a young woman my first sexual experiences was in a drunken stupor from being given too much to drink by said individual that took my virginity and then later date raped me. Since a very young age, for I believe these reasons, I had a victim’s mentality when it came to sex…I tried to gain a healthy view when it came to sex, but for whatever reason I felt almost obligated to have sex if I were going to have a man eventually fall in love with me. Therefor play up the sexy etc. But now having gone through a ton of soul searching and growing I finally got it!

    I recently took a trip to Ireland by myself and when I was in a pub a gentleman was chatting me up, offering marriage, to walk me back to my hotel etc…now I know for some this is a fantasy a chance encounter and to use his words “sex is something to be shared and enjoyed by two individuals” I agree. But when he asked to take me to my hotel room I said no. He asked why and I responded after thinking about it “because it is my choice” For the first time it dawned on me sad to say that it is always my choice for myself. And no matter how I am approached I need to think for myself is this what I want? Is he a man I want to share my body with? Does he meet my standards? Not what does he want?

    There are a multitude of ways that woman get the wrong message about sex. I am a sexual being I do enjoy sex. The only times that I didn’t is when I didn’t listen and stand up for myself, and did it just to please the other person. I think that a strong, sure, confident woman in a pair of sweats is 10 times sexier than a woman in a teddy.. :)

    I believe by becoming this woman we then are able to show a man how to be a proper man…and let him shine as well :)

    • Andrea says:

      Your story touched me. Thank you for sharing!

      • Allison says:

        I’m glad to hear that :)I know it is a little off base from the music industry etc. but i think it all plays into it. We as women have quite the road to travel when it comes to sex and ourselves, and understanding our value. :)

    •, Monique says:

      Lovely, Allison

    • Dayse says:

      Dear Allison,
      You are such a brave woman! Although I don’t know you, I’m proud that you became such a wise woman although all the things you’ve been through.

      I wish you all the best and that GOD provides all the good things you want and deserve.

      With love from Brazil,
      Dayse =]

    • Goldberry says:

      Thank you for sharing these personal things. I hope you find a man soon you could really trust and share your life with.

  83. Jesie says:

    I do like O’Connor’s advise minus the telling her what to do. I believe by taking time writing that letter shows that she does care and sharing her first hand experience is valuable, however the judgemental part could be left out. Miley has no obligation to follow or not, at least other girls have another perspective to consider before blindly following.
    Though Miley does not have an official obligation or responsibility to influence others, she still does have quite an impact.
    For me, we are all sinners. Like the bible says, let the person without sin throw the stone first. We all make mistakes. Lets forgive and support her to live a better life.

    • Rivka says:

      I don’t think there was anything wrong with Sinead telling her what to do. The Bible is full of chapters telling us what to do. And it was a very non-judgemental letter.

  84. PATRICIA says:

    hello Mathew
    i liked that she explained everything that needed to be cleared up for that young girl , they convinced her that the only way to get rid of Hanna s image is by getting naked which eventually will get her to rehab taking all of her self worth and value. BUT i did not like her advice ( your body is for you and your boyfriend ) i don t think that a high value women would give herself to her boyfriend i mean u could get 10 boyfriends and give yourself to them it s like prostitution but with a better name tag … although her knowledge of the music industry was helpful she could n t convince anyone because i felt she was lost in the matter as well and who would listen to a confused 47 year old women :P

    • Nofyah Shem Tov says:

      My question is: What’s wrong with the Hanna Montana image to begin with? It’s what got her started, first. And second, is it wrong to be wholesome?

  85. Ronda says:

    I think Amanda Palmer expresses her opinion on the matter very well. It’s a fine line a woman nowadays has to walk -often damned if you do and damned if you don’t. I think it all just comes down to being true to yourself, while taking some care in knowing how your actions will reflect on you. People judge – it’s just reality. If she really doesn’t care what people say, then more power to her.

  86. jan says:

    Great words Sinead, about time

  87. Raimee says:

    The letter speaks so much truth. I am glad you shared this, Matt. I saw that Miley tweeted something kind of rude about the letter, as if the message blew right over her head. I do hope that in time Miley will figure it out and listen to this great advice that was given to her, because she is talented and deserves to be respected. Definitely a great message for all women, especially those who are around my (and Miley’s) age.

  88. Ramona says:

    I think the letter Sinead wrote is spot on, very kind and thruthfull. She’s right on all the points, also in posting it online.. I think Sinead did this not to humilate Miley publicly, but more so that other girls could see how wrong this way of lessening oneself is and perhaps to get the press of her back. In the beginning I also had the idea that Miley wanted to shake off the good girl image, something what lots of girls and guys seem to do these days. Got me thinking what is wrong with morals and being good in this age? speaking like that I might sound old lol, I’m not.. well, I like to think I’m not as Im in my 30’s. Anyways I think it’s a growing common believe that being good is a bad thing, and being ‘loose’and promiscuous is more sought or wanted by the community… this is a disturbing development. I think it’s refreshing that Miley isn’t trashed a bit in this post you made Matt. Can’t help but feeling sad for the road that Miley has chosen for herself and where she is headed now, hope she will follow Sinead’s advice and gets back on track.

    • Goldberry says:

      You’re so right, Ramona. Virtue and especially chastity are considered ridiculous these days. That’s one reason I like Matt’s blog so much — he encourages women to have higher standards. (Although in his book he assumes that women are just waiting for the soonest chance to sleep with a guy without appearing slutty.)

  89. Liana says:

    I agree with what Helene St. Pierre concluded on the link you posted on your Facebook page. In fact, I was thinking the same. Since there are several cases before this one, cases we all watched and paid for (in money, in rating, in fan clubs and the list could continue) what kind of argument can we bring now, to this girl, or to those to follow? And I don’t think we should.

    On the contrary, I think we, the viewers, should learn to filter these kinds of models (for lack of better word) and put our money where the real High Value Women are. Honestly. Maybe (just guessing now) we could find the High Value Women amidst artists and share their stories or views. Like Sinead did here.

    • Goldberry says:

      Liana, I’m sure Sinead would say the same thing to other performers, but she didn’t feel her comments were invited. So she took this opportunity to share her thoughts with Miley because Miley looks up to her. Hopefully the other women will listen, too. Just because an opportunity opens up to speak to one person doesn’t mean she is being judged more harshly — especially when Sinead is warning more than judging.

      • Liana says:

        Just to make sureI’m not missunderstood, when I said we should look at other High Value Women artist and hear teir opinions I wasn’t referring to their oppinions on the same case. I meant (but didn’t put it into words that precisely) their oppinions on self – expression, self – development and taking your place in society by choosing with thought, feeling and care. So, women that others could look up to and forward to. I think Matt started something of the sort when he made the video on what he woukd tell his teen self. Perhaps something could come out of it, meaning a sequel ;-) (I’m sure something worthwhile did come out of it already)
        p.s.: sorry for any typos, English isn’t my native language
        p.p.s.: who here implied that 30 might not be so young? I feel great! and I think so did she who wrote it.

  90. Arden Leigh says:

    I don’t feel Sinead’s message was high-value at all. Her tone was condescending and patronizing, and her message was slut-shaming and framing female sexuality as bad and dangerous. “Your body is for you and your boyfriend”? Really?? I guess her catholicism runs deep despite that pope-tearing incident.

    Let’s look at it this way: Miley was no more naked at the VMAs than Lady Gaga was in her Alejandro video, but Gaga performed better and was clearly in control of her artistic vision. In fact Gaga has posed full-on nude for Vanity Fair and other places on the internet without receiving flak. It’s not about Miley’s nudity; it’s about the fact that she’s not committing to a good performance. Were she to hire a decent art director and choreographer and take a few dance classes, she could get as naked as she wanted. No one likes to see a woman who seems out of control. That’s the real issue here.

    But in the meantime, slut-shaming is not cool, Sinead. I’d hoped for better advice from her when I started reading her letter but that bunch of hurtful things that eventually amount to “Put your damn clothes on, Miley” was a disappointing tack. Shame on Sinead. Shaming disguised as maternal concern is just gross.

    • Goldberry says:

      Seriously? It’s “shaming” someone to tell them they’re being taken advantage of? With that mindset, no wonder girls and women continue to be objectified and disrespected… it’s their right and no one can take it away!

  91. Saida says:

    Hi Matt, iam really empressed that you share her opinion in the way how a high value woman actually act!

    It made my day, that so many people thinks that way…

    Lots Of Love and blessings

  92. Beth says:

    I am quite impressed by the letter! I hope Miley reads it and really thinks about what Sinead it saying! I haven’t paid much attention to the whole Miley Cyrus thing in fact I did not watch the awards when they were on that night but saw a lot of media buzz around what had happened! I hope that it will make Miley think!

  93. Monica Sauve says:

    it’s about time!!!!!!!!

  94. Sheila says:

    Well said, Sinead! It’s sad but I believe there isn’t a single parent in Miley’s life that truly cares about her, or her future that is sure to be riddled with consequences for poor choices. I have two girls and remind them DAILY that they are much more than sex objects to boys. Even though I have to compete with a boatload of raunchy young women (like Miley) using their bodies for attention in the media, I hope that my lessons will override that power. We’ve been steered away from the days of Cyndi Lauper or Sinead showing that young women can embrace their individuality and still be loved. Now, skin is in and it saddens me to see everything become so sexualized.

    I hope Miley takes Sinead’s message as a firm wakeup call and starts to wise up a bit. Certainly, there must be some other redeeming quality she can offer the world than a tongue that can’t stay in her mouth and exposing as much of her body as possible without crossing the lines of censorship.

  95. carla says:

    We all women should read this at 13, I don’t know what its going on with this generation, but I don’t like it… Me, as a mom of 3 boys always say that they have to respect women in every moment, but what happen when girls don’t respect themselves?

  96. Erin says:

    Having both been a 20 year old woman, and been in the music business, I tend to “stick up” for Miley, even though I didn’t choose the route she did. (Which could be why I’m not super famous-I’m good with my decision.)

    I appreciate that you’re not jumping on the bandwagon and ragging on her. I also think Sinead has a point. I have a lot of feelings on the Miley situation. Many of which start with me wanting to ask her a bunch of questions and trying to understand where she’s coming from.

    Some people like to be naked all the time and it doesn’t bother them who sees their body. Madonna did similar things, and people loved (and hated) her. I will admit to not liking Miley’s performance on the VMA’s, but my preference for performance is more conservative. I don’t need lighting, and back-up dancers, etc. to feel entertained. I just have to like the song.

    That’s as much as I want to say because I’m already annoyed at myself for discussing people I don’t know for this long- I feel you on that point as well :)

  97. Emma says:

    Hi Matt, I had already read the letter and posted it and my thoughts on my FB page. I was an 17 year old when Sinead O’Connor came out with NCTY and adored her, the honesty of the modest video (she was really crying genuine tears for the break up of a recent relationship). I think Sinead’s letter is spot on, again it is honest and caring. She tells Miley that she is a talented young woman, she is not scathing at her but at the industry which I totally agree, is exploiting her beyond the pale. I was in total agreement. Emma

  98. carla says:

    Hi Matt,

    I think that there are a couple of issues to be addressed here. Firstly, if our children emulate Miley…it’s far from her fault. We, as parents, should be looking to having far more influence on our children than any singer. As a culture, we need to reflect on how much finger pointing we do and discern when and where the buck should stop with us and step up to the responsibility. Secondly, whether high value or low value as seen by myself or any other outsider, the behaviours of this type which some people indulge in are their own and are a product of many factors. It’s no more right to judge this, or nay other, young woman for things which many of us did in our own way and at certain stages of our own personality development. We, as a culture, may need to stop ourselves from saying “youre not supposed to do that” and ask “why do you feel the need to do that”, instead. This may help us get to the root of issues in our culture and address them, rather than perpetuating them.

    • Goldberry says:

      But wouldn’t it be nice if we could let small children watch music videos…? Obviously performers’ behavior affects millions of people, not just themselves.

  99. Mariasmiles says:

    I am kind of speechless – I am torn between whether I think it’s a good idea for Sinead to publish this very personal letter to Miley Cyrus on the internet. I think it’s great that she wrote it to Miley, and it was very well written for sure… I just think the fact that everybody can read this is a little out of line because – it’s Miley that has to deal with it (her issues) BUT not everybody elses’s business. I think it’s even harder for Miley to deal with her problems when everybody can get a peak into her ‘counselling sessions’.
    With that being said I agree with everything in the letter!

  100. hidayah razak says:

    it’s really well said. has miley read this yet?

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