The whole Miley Cyrus phenomenon has been on a lot of people’s lips recently. I generally don’t use my platform to talk about celebrities, firstly because I don’t like to judge people whose lives I know nothing about, and secondly because I don’t much care what they are up to.
I did however watch the VMAs along with a lot of other people, and found the whole performance somewhat uncomfortable. It’s hard to express exactly why without some serious reflection.
I believe in empowering women and showing them what beautiful people they are. I believe respecting women to be of the utmost importance, secondary only to a woman’s own self-respect.
So I was left a little conflicted with the Miley thing. A lot of people are judging her right now. She’s entitled to go through phases, just like any of us have. In a perfect world she’d be entitled to go through these phases without the judgement of millions of fans and non fans. Unfortunately (and fortunately for her income), she has millions of fans and non fans ready to judge her.
The truth is, I do not care what the world thinks of what she’s doing. Nor do I much care about what the general population thinks about anything. We all have to be smart enough to look at a situation objectively without the rants of the mindless controlling every aspect of our thought. The temptation to parrot the demagogic ramblings of the gross tabloids and magazines is always there.
But I’m reluctant to go down the righteous route of “she’s a role model so she should do better”. She’s not some elected politician who has a responsibility to their electorate. She’s a singer. She makes lot’s of money selling records, amongst other things. I will admit to finding the concept of lots of teenage girls emulating this ‘phase’ disturbing, but whether that really is her responsibility is another matter. God forbid we ever be in a position where every move we make is judged on how great an example it presents to millions of others; an impossible standard to live up to to say the least.
Although I don’t think ‘Miley news’ or any sort of celebrity news is ever really interesting or of any consequence, yesterday something did catch my attention: an open letter from Sinead O’Connor to Miley Cyrus.
Since I cannot talk from any personal experience of the music industry, nor of being a 20 year old woman, this letter contained a lot more credibility than I have on both counts.
After allegedly claiming that her Wrecking Ball video was inspired by O’Connor’s Nothing Compares 2U, Sinead expressed her concern for Miley not only as an artist but as a woman.
This letter sums up the ‘High Value’ way to look at this situation more authoritatively than I could. It’s long, but it’s worth the read I assure you.
After you’ve read it, let me know what you think. I’d love to hear your opinions on the matter (I would love it if the comments weren’t about Miley Cyrus, but about the situation itself. There’s enough judgement on her as an individual without us having to add to the pile. I think it’s much more positive to keep it constructive and look at it as something to take personal learnings from).
Dear Miley,
I wasn’t going to write this letter, but today i’ve been dodging phone calls from various newspapers who wished me to remark upon your having said in Rolling Stone your Wrecking Ball video was designed to be similar to the one for Nothing Compares … So this is what I need to say … And it is said in the spirit of motherliness and with love.
I am extremely concerned for you that those around you have led you to believe, or encouraged you in your own belief, that it is in any way ‘cool’ to be naked and licking sledgehammers in your videos. It is in fact the case that you will obscure your talent by allowing yourself to be pimped, whether its the music business or yourself doing the pimping.
Nothing but harm will come in the long run, from allowing yourself to be exploited, and it is absolutely NOT in ANY way an empowerment of yourself or any other young women, for you to send across the message that you are to be valued (even by you) more for your sexual appeal than your obvious talent.
I am happy to hear I am somewhat of a role model for you and I hope that because of that you will pay close attention to what I am telling you.The music business doesn’t give a shit about you, or any of us. They will prostitute you for all you are worth, and cleverly make you think its what YOU wanted … and when you end up in rehab as a result of being prostituted, ‘they’ will be sunning themselves on their yachts in Antigua, which they bought by selling your body and you will find yourself very alone.
None of the men ogling you give a shit about you either, do not be fooled. Many’s the woman mistook lust for love. If they want you sexually that doesn’t mean they give a fuck about you. All the more true when you unwittingly give the impression you don’t give much of a fuck about yourself. And when you employ people who give the impression they don’t give much of a fuck about you either. No one who cares about you could support your being pimped … and that includes you yourself.
Yes, I’m suggesting you don’t care for yourself. That has to change. You ought be protected as a precious young lady by anyone in your employ and anyone around you, including you. This is a dangerous world. We don’t encourage our daughters to walk around naked in it because it makes them prey for animals and less than animals, a distressing majority of whom work in the music industry and it’s associated media.
You are worth more than your body or your sexual appeal. The world of showbiz doesn’t see things that way, they like things to be seen the other way, whether they are magazines who want you on their cover, or whatever … Don’t be under any illusions … ALL of them want you because they’re making money off your youth and your beauty … which they could not do except for the fact your youth makes you blind to the evils of show business. If you have an innocent heart you can’t recognise those who do not.
I repeat, you have enough talent that you don’t need to let the music business make a prostitute of you. You shouldn’t let them make a fool of you either. Don’t think for a moment that any of them give a flying fuck about you. They’re there for the money… we’re there for the music. It has always been that way and it will always be that way. The sooner a young lady gets to know that, the sooner she can be REALLY in control.
You also said in Rolling Stone that your look is based on mine. The look I chose, I chose on purpose at a time when my record company were encouraging me to do what you have done. I felt I would rather be judged on my talent and not my looks. I am happy that I made that choice, not least because I do not find myself on the proverbial rag heap now that I am almost 47 yrs of age … which unfortunately many female artists who have based their image around their sexuality, end up on when they reach middle age.
Real empowerment of yourself as a woman would be to in future refuse to exploit your body or your sexuality in order for men to make money from you. I needn’t even ask the question … I’ve been in the business long enough to know that men are making more money than you are from you getting naked. Its really not at all cool. And its sending dangerous signals to other young women. Please in future say no when you are asked to prostitute yourself. Your body is for you and your boyfriend. It isn’t for every spunk-spewing dirtbag on the net, or every greedy record company executive to buy his mistresses diamonds with.
As for the shedding of the Hannah Montana image … whoever is telling you getting naked is the way to do that does absolutely NOT respect your talent, or you as a young lady. Your records are good enough for you not to need any shedding of Hannah Montana. She’s waaaaaaay gone by now … Not because you got naked but because you make great records.
Whether we like it or not, us females in the industry are role models and as such we have to be extremely careful what messages we send to other women. The message you keep sending is that its somehow cool to be prostituted … its so not cool Miley … its dangerous. Women are to be valued for so much more than their sexuality. We aren’t merely objects of desire. I would be encouraging you to send healthier messages to your peers … that they and you are worth more than what is currently going on in your career. Kindly fire any motherfucker who hasn’t expressed alarm, because they don’t care about you.
As posted on www.sineadoconnor.com
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Remember to leave a comment. What are your thoughts on the situation?
I was not going to write, but, I read it, and you ask for the opinion, so here it comes…. Well, I am a bit sick tonight, catching some viruses from other people 2 days ago I guess, surrounded by sick people while attending a conference. Not really in the mood to have an opinion as I normally do, but the letter is quite interesting and your encouragement for us to value ourself more, from there I go…
I find it is such a lovely letter, I wish someone cares for me that much. At that time, Madonna, was not so lucky, to be surrounded by smart and caring artists as we are today caring for young stars just like Justin Bieber & Miley.
Older wiser stars do address directly to the rich and famous young celebrities. So people express their concerns, which is good to give your HONEST opinion as long as it is HONEST & sincere. I salut her for that, and it is up to Miley to think it is wise to embrace the concerns yes or no. It is up to the circumstances around her. Much love and admiration for you Matthew.
As a music artist reading this letter, I found myself with my jaw to the floor and mouthing to my myself Oh. My. G-d. She’s right.
This letter came at the perfect time for me to see because of a situation in my life, and I know it’s written to Miley, whom I respect for her talent, and it has a powerful message that can speak to other women reading it.
Yes, it’s true that if you cover up more you’ll be seen as a respectable person with a mind, and how you dress manifests the way you see yourself and act. When I go on dates I definitely cover up more than I used to, and skip the club and opt for a cafe. However, with the music industry it’s all too easy to dress less modest to try to attract more people to watch your video/show, which equals more money/popularity. But at what cost? Millions of people all over the internet with their undeserving eyes judging every inch. They haven’t earned that right.
I can see the path she’s on. Britney, Madonna and Christina all did it, and they’re very successful. It could be a phase and everyone will look back and be like remember when… ?
Someone asked me yesterday what part of my body do i like to be complimented on. I said… my personality, my mind! They looked surprised. I caught them off guard. Then the guy started talking about abs.
Shock people with your personality, your mind, your values, your goals and dreams. Those things are diamonds!
– Alicia
ps- Matt, you’re becoming my new best friend! I love watching your videos and I look forward to them like coffee and advice with a trusted pal!
When the song is that good,it can sell all by itself.x
Ahhh…Miley. What more is there to be said? She is smarter than most give her credit for and she knows it. This whole thing is a well thought out publicity stunt – nothing more.
The question Matthew asks us to consider here is a very interesting one. However, here is my question, “who is to say Miley doesn’t know she is a high-valued woman and acting as such?”
First, what constitutes a high-valued woman as defined by Matthew?
Answer:
1. Self-confidence: “she knows her abilities, her appeal, and what she deserves” (GTG).
2. Independence: “she has a life she adores and is engaged in meaningful activities that make her passionate about each day” (GTG).
3. Integrity: “a woman of integrity doesn’t compromise what she believes in simply in order to seek approval from others” (GTG).
4. Femininity: letting a man feel he has value/a role in your life (paraphrased from GTG).
I think we can all say that Mylie qualifies and exhibits the first two aspects of a high-valued woman: self-confidence and independence, (check and check!).
Now, for integrity as defined by Matthew (in relation to Miley and the letter he shared by O’Connor) I would have to say Miley has stuck it out and not, “compromise what she believes in simply in order to seek approval from others.” Right after this letter was written by O’Connor she (Mylie) stood her ground and rebuked O’Connor’s “concerns” (US Magazine article). So I think we can say that with all the negativity surrounding Mylie’s new look/behavior, she has stuck to her image with unwavering confidence.
Next, about her femininity, I don’t rightly know if there is any real way to answer whether she is being properly feminine or not. The image of femininity has changed over every decade and century, along with it’s roles. If we are to look at Matthew’s definition then who’s to know except for those close to her as to whether she allows men to play their role and have value in her life. So I would say this aspect is probably not significant in the way in which we are speaking of a high-valued woman.
Overall, Mylie has exhibited three of the top aspect of a high-valued woman and the fourth is trivial to our means of discussion. So, even though I am not a fan of Mylie’s nor do I agree with her VMA and Wrecking Ball actions/image; I must admit she exhibits everything to suggest she is a high-valued woman. Whether we like it or not.
I’d love to hear your thoughts on this Matthew.
I couldn’t agree more! I’m gonna have to digest this and later I will let you know all of my thoughts. I did hear her say that at 20 she feels she knows herself and I thought WOW because I know I have changed in so many ways since I was 20 and realize that I had no clue who I was or where my life was going. With that said I’m going to think about this a little and give my input later :)
I do agree with the basic sentiment. Nobody should be exploited, or coerced into behaving a certian way just to please others.
However, Sinead’s letter makes me a little uncomfortable as well. Saying that being naked is “not cool”, that her body is for her and her boyfriend only… No, actually, she can give her body to whomever she wants. It’s true that it is a horrible thing if she give oversexualized performances just because it sells better, because the people that want to make money off of her, tell her to do so. That is true in every way. But Sinead implies that being naked, that showing off your body like that, is always bad. It is not. Nothing is bad as long as it doesn’t hurt you or other people, there is no simpler way to put it.
Oh, and: “We don’t encourage our daughters to walk around naked in it because it makes them prey for animals and less than animals” – really?
This is one huge part of what is wrong with our society, that we tell our daughters to dress a certain way in order to not be looked at, or, in the worst case, not get raped. Yes, we still do that – but to use it as an argument? I am a little disappointed. We should strive for a world where everybody can walk around naked without being judged, or attacked. And that that world doesn’t exist yet is to blame on people who judge, on people who attack – not on people who dress a certain way.
So, in brief, I agree that Miley should treat herself and her body with respect and avoid people who try to get her to do things she doesn’t want to.
But I truly disagree that that means she cannot give highly sexualized performances. It also doesn’t mean she shouldn’t cover herself during a performance. It means she can do whatever the fuck she wants. By showing confidence and respect towards her own decisions and her body, she will set a good example. No matter how she expresses that respect and no matter what those decisions are, as long as they are truly hers.
Of course she can do what she wants. Sinead is warning her of what the results will be for her and for other women. We don’t live in a utopian world where men look on bare flesh as if it were cloth. What you call “judgment” I would call “realism”.
Sinead O´connor has always held my admiration and now even so much more. She talks as a true high value woman.
I remenber that there where singers, when she came out as a singer, that had long curly hair and low cut tops and often bikinis in their videos.
She is still a music icon and if she hadnt been true to herself and her selfrespect, she would have become flash in the pan.
She genuinely gives this advice on the belief that Miley is another woman, that she respect and wouldnt want to see abased of greedy people, often men in the entertainment business. For that I respect her even more.
There are dozens of young beautifull women in musicvideos in next to no clothes.. So many we almost doesnt notice them anymore. If you want to make an impression, keep your clothes on and respect yourself, your talent and want you want to do.
Many women are taught from a young age, that we will only be noticed or be of any value if we show a lot of skin and are looking like filmstars . Of cause is difficult to go against this flood of misinformation and grow your own opinion and view on this false picture the world want us to believe. But I hope Miley knows the true picture now and will listen to here own idol, Sinead O´connor words of wisdom.
Sofie
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Love the letter Matt! Thank you so much!
It’s kind of sad that Miley did not respond in a very positive way to that letter. Maybe she’d seen her father struggle (as a country musician) all her life, that’s why she now thinks that bad publicity is better than no publicity at all.
Well what a great letter. She has the knowledge and the respect to give such great advice. I liked her message of recognizing when she is being exploited and used by an industry that doesn’t really care about her but the money they make. I have to say I agree with Sinead’s use of the term prostitute because that is the first thing that poped into my mind when I saw her on the stage acting like a sleeze. Her music is amazing and she should know that without putting her sexual self out there. Too bad Rhianna didn’t get the same message, too many very talented women in the music industry are being fooled into becoming whorish women. Like yourself more than anyone! Do what you now is right don’t let anyone change the talent you have to become deminished by sex and that message. I have an eight year old grand daughter and she loves Miley and Rhianna but guess what she can’t watch their videos because of the content and I would never want her to mimic their sexual manners and guess what she does. To see an eight year old girating and trying to be sexy is sickening not cute. She has a great voice but has all these moves that are just wrong. Remember girls you are role models these little girls who have talent are being led into the wrong path by following you. Wether you like it or not.
This letter is nothing new. Miley’s wacko’s behavior is not the first and it wont be the last. Women like Miley who come across as a slut, will eventually have a lonely life with nobody there at the end. Stars end up dying on drugs, drinking or both. Miley is spiraling downward. Maybe she be Lindsey’s roommate soon. She needs help! I hope she gets it. People are buying her records because of her songs/voice, not her wacko, slutty behavior.
A M A Z I N G N !
It couldn’t be said better. Take my hat on Sinead. I wish this letter is shown in any school and morals studied. it s a shame how yang girls dress and behave copping and following celebrities.
Having acces to easy sex more and more men disrespect and mistreat the rest and never commit.
“Your body is for you and your boyfriend” at first I was a bit concerned about this sentence, because it can seem a bit puritan however..
I think Sinead belives that Miley doesnt have expose her naked body to whole world
at the same time :)
what she do in her private life is her own business
Sofie
I was thinking the same thing. Other then that, I liked the letter.
This is an important letter. Not just because she took the time to send it to Miley, but because we ALL get to read it. That is the value of a role model. She is helping Miley and all of us, at every age. Americans don’t get that very often. Europeans and Asians have the gem of their elders wisdom and we don’t have that. Hence even Washingtonians are acting like spoiled teenagers. No one us teaching us how to behave. Even elephants in the wild need elders to reign in the hormonal teenagers, who need to become active members of the group. People are precious and she is hanging out on a limb. Hopefully she will see this letter and it can resonate through the noise. Maybe Beyonce will see it as well and we can all have a beautiful half time show without uncomfortable visions of her vagina gyrating and her squished up face. It would be wonderful to see a woman, a star, value her talent sans her sexuality (Janet Jackson, Madonna, lady Gaga). And it is GREAT to hear some other people feel the same way. I am no prude but I feel violated when I know the state of a singers Brazilian waxing when I’m having popcorn and expecting an afternoon of wholesome sports.
Hi Matt;) its MTV !its not about high value woman there its about exotic performance that should be like a shock show and make a wow!!!!well she did it very well ;) her performance as a job with her being a high standard woman is two different category here !she could be a high standard woman when she is in a relationship!i guess there should nt be any judgment regarding what she did and questioning her performance !she did what she had to do ;) I’m not the fan but I think with her performance she didn’t disqualify hersel being a high standard woman!
Regatds
Sinead O’Connor, you rock. Wow. What An incredibly powerful and sincere letter. It is a letter for everyone – men, women, mothers, fathers, sisters, brothers, husbands, wives, girlfriends, boyfriends – everyone should read it. An anthem to self-love and dignity and a cautionary tale all in one.
I loved Sinead’s letter, it was so loving. Its so true that when we value ourselves highly then others also do so. I pray that Miley realizes it sooner.
Matt… Sinead is VERY quirky. I’m surprised you respect a letter from the ultimate of quirky chicks in the world. If she was single, what advice would you give her on getting the guy ;p
PS the only thing I disagree with in your book is that a woman shouldn’t be too quirky. 89% of your work I love, but Pygmalion is so last Century. Only yanking your chain – I love your work!
It’s like michelangelo said about sculpting a statue, ‘it’s easy, you have a block of marble, inside there’s a beautiful statue, all you need is a chisel to knock away the marble around it’. Miley is the statue and Sinead gets what Michelangelo said. The chisel is miley hearing her. When we knock away the uniseful bits of marble around the outside we are powerful and unstoppable :)
Touch, move and inspire x
It was haunting, vulnerable, inexplicably beautiful and twenty years later we can never forget Sinead in Nothing Compares 2 U. A woman showing her soul through her eyes and song – that was true beauty. It reminds us that when we value ourselves but are not afraid to be truly authentic and vulnerable – that is what is attractive. Miley – you have much to learn, I watched your video for 5 sec, and turned it off – it was forgettable and pathetic. Look to Sinead’s video for artistry that will be remembered for years to come. That’s the type of performance that lingers through time.