Do you get panicked before a date?
Do you fear you might run out of things to talk about?
Nervous but excited, hopeful but unsure, optimistic but queasy… Going on dates can be scary.
But what if you never had to have these feelings ever again?
Today I’m going to share with you my “long-term” approach to always be ready, and to show up in a calm and easygoing state, ready to have fun.
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That’s quite spooky you said one of your brothers articles made you think of this content. I totally agree with what you say here, though I could not possibly have out it into words, lol. I thought about what I had commented in last weeks blog from Stephen and it suddenly occurred to me how much I’ve changed in my mindset since I’ve been watching and learning with you. You think nothing has changed for ages and then you suddenly wake up and realise. There are decisions I would have made as the old me, that would, with hindsight turned out to be wrong. I cannot thank you enough that I am leading such a more fulfilled life now and it, rather ironically has nothing to do with getting a guy (literally) you know what I mean.
A warning to ladies out there who will use Matts ways with men. They do work and should really only be tried on someone you envisage a future with ; )
Kathryn x
Soooooo true!!!!!! Live it! Don’t just cram at the end.
I went on a date recently and turned up so flustered and wish I’d seen this video beforehand! Still quite timely! The guy planned the first few dates – really good quirky places and now I think I should invite him out (if he hasn’t been put off that is!) …anyone have any cool date ideas for round London??
Thanks :)
Nice lesson for today <3
Hi Anya, were you thinking of dinner or drinks? There is a lovely tapas restaurant on The Cut at Waterloo called Meson Don Felipe which I love. A fabulous bar (in my opinion) is Gordons Wine Bar at Embankment (in a wine cellar). What about catching an art exhibition at the beautiful Somerset House on the Strand, by Aldwych? Or walklondon offer some great two hour fascinating walking tours round London… In the summer there is usually something going on in Trafalgar Square at the weekend, too. All the best with planning your date!
Thank you so much for your suggestions Theresa – some great places and ideas that I will have a think about! I so rarely go on dinner dates but I think tapas is a nice middle ground!
I put some of Matt’s advice together and already did that long term approach. First of all you gotta start with meeting guys regularly, so that you get used to dating. But don’t wait for ideal! You won’t find one. So I started to go on dates, some of them very neutral, some great, some awful! The point is that I got used to meet guys, so when the guy I really like comes into my life, I won’t be too pushy or nervous! It is simple trick that really works girls. Stop to be too fussy about dates. First my main source of dates was speed dating, that’s really good to gain some practice and later since I got more relaxed, guys started to approach me on street, at events etc. So now I have entire pool of guys and keep dating without being actually nervous. Start with that and then you can take it from there ;).
Please anyone tell me what you think of this…..? I recently went on a blind date. Didn’t meet up again. Think his head was filled with too much info about me from my well meaning friend, who was desperate to get us together. She thought we would be ideal for one another. He mentioned some things to me that she’d told him about me and he seemed disappointed that in reality, or from his point of view, I wasn’t as she’d painted me and she also showed him photos and he said I looked different to them. So she had put me up on a pedalstool perhaps unintentionally.
We had planned to meet half way in a lively town for dinner and to see some live music but I got a puncture on the way and rang him to ask if we could reconvene our date but he insisted coming 30 miles my way to go on our date. It wasn’t a very good date in retrospect. I felt each time we had a nice chat about something that he quickly steered the conversation on to something else. Always going off on a tangent so I was left unfulfilled by the conversation. I am quite relaxed generally and my nerves went as soon as we’d spent the first 10 minutes or so together. But he seemed edgy all night and unrelaxed despite my attempts to make jokes and have fun with him.
I felt during the evening that a second date with him would be good so as to get a true opinion, get to know more about him as he was a decent guy and very nice just, perhaps nervous on our blind date. He works alone every day and I’ve been in the public eye all my life so I’m comfortable having conversations with anyone about anything. He was erratic really.
We are both middle aged. He attempted three times to kiss me, on the lips too. I love kissing but I feel I want to be swept of my feet and feel some real emotion for someone before we start kissing. A build up would’ve been much sexier for me. Left me wanting more maybe. But still I felt it was inappropriate or that he was desperate. Not understanding that it wasn’t essential to keep trying it on but actually a turn off.
We arranged to meet the very next Friday, which I’d already deduced that his life was very regulated and so it was always only likely to be a Friday evening. We both seemed happy to be meeting again.
Two days later he left me a garbled, nervy babbling excuse to cancel the date. He then told my friend I hadn’t contacted him which was untrue as I’d left a few polite messages and texts.
Does anyone think this man is immature and inexperienced or is he just after one thing? At 51 I’d like to think he had a bit more integrity.
Sweetie, its already a bad beginning. Let it go.
Hope the best for you. Dont forget to improve yourself everyday inside and out, youll meet more mature men.
xx
I agree, perhaps it seems like he was driven or after something. Easier to see from a distance. His listening and conversations skills weren’t demonstrated on your date. Sometimes starting as friends, switching gears at the beginning, but unless there is interest for this on both sides, its not likely to happen. I think people jump in too quickly. Matt’s advise is great, just get into dating and relax with it so you are satisfied socially and cultivate yourself, and inevitably, the clicking/chemistry will happen when both parties are in the right place/time.