Having a hard time online?
Last month I opened things up for readers to share stories and experiences with me about online dating. Check out the video above for what we found.
Here are our findings from the most important question asked…
Online Dating How To (no matter your age)
1) Develop a thick skin
Online dating is kind of crazy. It’s like being in the best bar and the worst bar at the same time. You have great guys who are trying to find an amazing relationship, while you have others sending you weird, dirty messages our of nowhere.
2) Be quick about it
If you see someone you like, message them. What’s the worst that could happen? Avoid generic small talk (‘how’re you?’ ‘what’s up?’…). Instead comment on their profile (‘I commend you for being the only guy man enough to admit that Titanic is their favourite film!’).
3) Show don’t tell
“I’m funny, I’m smart, I like movies, I like to travel…”
‘Shopping lists’ like these become UNBELIEVABLY boring. People won’t actually read through them, and so rather than describe yourself with a bunch of words, describe something you’ve been through, or a moment in your life that meant something to you.
Question of the day…
Have you ever found yourself dependent on online dating for meeting men? How can you ensure that that doesn’t happen, and that you’re still working on the skills that will allow you to meet guys in real life?
###
Do you want to ensure that you’re the most attractive version of yourself that you can be? So that when you do meet with people you’ve engaged with online, you know how to build chemistry, how to connect, and how to move things forward…
I have something that will help you with all of these steps. It’s called The Man Myth, and you can check it out here.
I tried online dating once. It was far too much pressure. Too many guys not knowing the difference between a 6-pack and a keg of beer on their stomachs, and the fact it just didn’t seem organic to me.
I know it works for some women, and I say, more power to you if it does, but I felt it put too much pressure on me to perform like a circus monkey than it would if I just walked up to someone and said, “Hey! How are you!”
Hilarious – the last part! ;)
you were really right about you said about online dating, hhhhhhhhhhh and nice picture :) :D
Eharmony I was on for about a year. That was the worst site and what they say on TV isnt exact. The matches were not anything I was compatible with nor anything that the long long test said was my match. Plus I think some guys on there can just answer the long long test in a way they think women would want thier answers to be and so they dont answer it truthfully. I ran across more creepers and crazies on that dating site than any other I ever tried. Match was also not that great of a site but better than Eharmony but they spammed the heck out of you even after you cancelled your membership. PlentyOfFish I agree with some the comments about this one. I stopped using the site after 1 a guy I met on their turned out to be a real nut job and two the site wanted us to start paying to send and recieve msgs (i had been on there for yrs b4 they started asking to pay). Datehookup sounds like a bad name for those of us looking for relationships and not hookups but few my friends found at least 1 relationship on there but it hasnt worked for me yet on there just get those ones that chat with you for a short bit then go away. OkCupid is about the only site I have found that is decent. Although it has its faults too. I honestly would probably never join a paying site again because they do not work like they claim to like eHarmony. Unless Matthew came out with a dating site which I know wont happen since he isnt a big fan of online dating. It be nice to find a site that works esp. for those of us that have to have a site thats free cuz we will never be to afford those pay sites that asks hundreds of dollars cuz of reasons such as having health issues and cant work. We deserve love to be loved and find love too. But ya anyways online dating can be great but like offline dating has its problems and its good things as well. In both your going to have good n bad experiences. But ya enough me rambling…just sharing a lil of my 2 cents after watching the video.
Ah, Eharmony. I thought, oo this looks classy. so I did the giant questionnaire, and after that they wouldn’t accept me! They said that there wasn’t a match for me. I don’t think I stated anything too weird, unless you count reading and art and wanting a nice caring man. I think its the site’s bot to blame for that. My cousin said that I should have said I liked kittens and cushions then see what happened. haha.
I can’t stand online dating. I think it brings out the worst in people and I tend to attract more than my fair share of over enthusiastic men.
I do feel a little sorry for you with the giant banners and book covers, your practically a centerfold! lol ;)
Online dating is the worst way to find a guy. I would meet guys for coffee, and they would be like, “I can only meet you from 8-4, because I don’t want my girlfriend to know.” O_O I stayed meeting guys like that. Then, I decided that if I wanted a douchebag, I would just go to a club or a bar – at least I would know what I’d be getting! It’s like sales, y’all, “see the people” Also, if you just take Matthew’s program, you won’t need to go online. Thanks for being there for us ladies and your great insight, Matthew! You’re awesome!
G’day Matt,
It’s so great that you are back blogging. We all missed you. I thought I’d impart my experience of online dating. I’ve been on eharmony and had a whirlwind romance which was good for the ego. Now with that over and finished for several months there is this new guy on the site that I winked at and no action. But last Saturday night I unknowingly sat next to him!!
Talk about your online meets reality!
I really wanted to talk to him last night at church but all I did was offer him pastries as I was on the serving crew. I think he wanted to talk to me to cos he’s new to church.
I don’t know whether he knows and I’m expecting your book to be delivered to me any day now for more tips and advice.
Do you have any advice? Or should I email him via the site to say I wanted to say more to you than offer a croissant?
Your friend
Abby
The ending!!!! Hahahahahahaha. That was the best part. Lololol. Never really seen that humour side of you before and I love it! Hahaha :D
Hi, Matt!! hahahaa I loved! my point of view is…that this is so uncertain! because maybe: I meet the man of my dreams but I’ll be the woman of his dreams? or vice versa!
50-50 odds! but Being positive: we’ll see if we exist! hahahaaaa Thx by your vids! I missed in my mail!
1000 besits
Welcome back Matt! the tv show wasn’t where you shine. We needed the old authentic man who we truly feel just wants to help us on our journey to love, that’s why I have your ebook and your newsletter and followed you on you tube. You are a real strength for us all! Thank you :)
Honestly, I know this great guy that I NEVER would have thought I would be attracted to – give me 1000 photos of men, I prob would not have picked him. I would have missed a very good man.
Great advice. I must admit before reading ‘Get The Guy’ I relied on online dating way too much. It was the easy way of feeling I was doing something about my rubbish love life!
Now after the book I am working hard on meeting people in real-life but as someone who lacks a bit of confidence it is a slow process. I am still online but now with a very different mindset, it used to me the ONLY way I met guys and I would put so much pressure on myself before each date – wondering if he would be the one!!
Now I see them as a great addition to my social life and a fab opportunity to practise chatting to guys and just being myself.
I dont know if I will meet someone online or in the local supermarket but I do know that my increasing my interactions with guys I am becoming more confident in being myself so when the hot guy does come along it will be so much easier to just be me :)
Hahaa…My condolences matt. It is a unconventional banner and your publishers have rather an eccentric taste. In their defense you could pull it off- shocking pink and all the sexiness in one frame. How could they pass on that. Still, funny though how you felt about it.
I’m 57 and love your philosophies, Matt! Just ordered your book. Having success with online dating, but it does require a different set of talents than real life. Here are my rules (and I know they reflect my age!)
1. First impressions start in the gut. I’m not looking for movie stars, but no t-shirts, naked bodies, poses w motorcycles or cars w their hoods open.
2. If their “bullet lists” start w sports, hunting, camping, motorcycling, they’re a “no.”
3. They’re suspect if they “like to have fun” as a primary ambition or requirement.
4. Turn off chat. No good comes from it.
5. Don’t reply to winks and favoriting. As you say, Matthew, you pick, not them. Besides, you want someone who can express themselves.
6. Read between the lines of their profile: likes to stay in, wants you to be self-sufficient…signs of no money?
You do have to be a good judge of character too. But online dating is a process of elimination, and the above tips get rid of 85% of the pool.
Guys, I really hate online dating.
Here are my 8 good reasons why: http://gosayhello.wordpress.com/2013/01/21/8-reasons-i-dislike-online-dating/
Hahaha, based on that banner I’m now expecting some kind of broadway show! See you in Seattle :)
Aahaahaa, the ending was too funny! Almost fell off of my chair, rolling :D
So cute!
Will you ever do an european tour? (:
Matt,
I must THANK YOU- watching you rolling out this big, PINK roll up made me laugh for the first time since a week I guess.
Thanx :)
Hi Matt,
I’m newbie to your site, but have found it really helpful and motivating. I’m not much of a fan on online dating but had a question on something similar. I recently met someone but we are both in a industry where we are moving around all the time and now we are keeping in contact via email about once or twice a week. How do I keep the interest and fun going when there will be long periods apart?
Thanks so much!
PS: I was crushed about the show, but am still watching online.