Here are the two most common causes of dating burnout:
(a) You go into dating with unrealistic expectations (“the next guy I like better be THE ONE”)
(b) You keep choosing the wrong things (going on dates with guys you’re only 50% interested in, spending too much time messaging on Tinder, not enjoying other parts of your life)
I hear from women all the time who have lost hope. They complain about how men can’t grow up. They get cynical and tarnish everyone with the same brush.
And yet, we know these things can’t be true:
- There are not enough ‘good guys’ to go around– FALSE
- No-one wants real commitment anymore – FALSE
- I’ll never feel the way I did about that last guy I dated – Definitely FALSE
Yet these beliefs can cement and become mental blocks.
They’re incredibly dangerous to internalise, because we tend to look for ways to keep reinforcing them. You’ll see this on many angry men’s forums as well, who continually blame women as an entire gender for all their dating (and life) problems.
When we’re burnt out, it eats away at our character. It devours our spontaneity and that attractive naiveté that makes someone new so fun to be around.
Dating burnout is real, and if you need a break, then take it.
Do something wholesome. Forget about finding a relationship or sex for a while. Surround yourself with friends and people who lift you up. Pursue a bigger purpose.
Give yourself as much time as you need, but treat it as a rest, rather than dealing yourself out of love entirely.