This Emotion Will Destroy Your Love Life…

How’s this for scary?

I’m in the studio on The Today Show opposite Kathy Lee and Hoda. It’s not my everyday situation, and I’m trying to make sure I’m on my best game.

“So, what should a woman do here, Matthew?”

“Well, point number one is (blah blah blah).” I rattle it off with ease because I have it locked, ready to go in my mind. “…and secondly…um…”

My mind freezes. I go blank and panic inside. I can’t remember what I was going to say.

If you want to see my full torture and how this played out… watch this video.


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44 Replies to “This Emotion Will Destroy Your Love Life…”

  1. And all of a sudden, a massive ‘click’ in my brain just happened.
    All my life I have been under pressure due to everyone’s expectations of me and me trying to fulfil them because that was expected of me. I lost myself and then the pressure was just too much I suffered a nervous breakdown because I couldn’t handle the expectations that was on me. So now if my anxiety flares up because of the pressure, I just stop what I am doing and give myself a break. My way of being kinder to myself than feeling it and putting myself down.

    So now I am in the learnings of learning to love myself, trying to figure out who I am, who and what I WANT to be and to accept that I’m only human. I mean, even superheros have a break now and then.

    Matt, I have spent the last 4 years in therapy trying to make sense of it all since my breakdown and you pretty much summed it up in under 7 minutes! And gave me an action plan to boot.
    My happiest moments/memories of my life was when I was a tourist, trying new things, learning new things, experiencing new things, exploring and taking shit loads of photos. What the locals and other people thought of me, I didn’t care. That didn’t matter to me because I was out there living. And that was when I felt the most freedom ever.
    So from now – I’m now the tourist. And I don’t give a f**k what anyone thinks

  2. I just want to drop by and tell you “This is a great reflective video Matthews!” The higher we achieved,the harder we need to work on being humble, yet not losing the confidence. I once heard one of my lecturer said ” Greater capability comes with greater responsibility” There will be one day that we need to give back what we have learned or mastered to the society to help the others.Thanks for sharing all the knowledge and enlightenment :)

  3. Being a student rather than a professional.
    This is exactly what I needed. I’m establishing a new career, and this video shifted my entire set of mind.

    Thank you Matt!!

  4. And suddenly everything makes sense to me now..
    One of your best videos Matthew, thank you for sharing this.

    “Be a tourist in your own life” how brilliant is that !!

  5. I’m a gay man and I love your stuff Matthew, I feel like it doesn’t just apply to women, but a broader audience (something to think about :-)) A lot of what you’ve said has sunk in and literally changed the way I think about certain situations! Well done and keep it coming!

  6. Great! Playing a tourist in your own life is a lovely way of phrasing it :)
    If I understand correctly, it’s about leaving my comfort zone, doing things and behaving in ways that are new to me.
    You know what? I’ve already started doing that and I owe this to you, Matt (and your At Home Retreat) :)
    It was only yesterday when just before getting off a tram I said to a lady who was a complete stranger that she had a most beautiful nose. In return she gave me this surprised but very happy smile. It was worth it! :)
    Thank you

  7. Love this video! “Be a tourist in your own life”…Keep the videos coming Matthew! I look forward to them every week! Hugs! ;) <3

  8. Such a great message! I need to bookmark this and listen to it again and again. I’m 55 and still learning to fully embrace this philosophy! The urge to focus on image or looking cool can be so strong. And I’ve had so much fun, adventure and even validation in the moments when I behaved with the beginner’s attitude. Thank you!

  9. Your honesty and openness about personally awkward and embarrassing things I find the most relatable and seem to lean the most from. I have to admit I LMAO over the Today show clip. But only because I’ve done stuff like that, too. Thank you!

  10. hey matt I like your videos
    they are short and useful
    you send them sometimes
    I always feel better when I listen to you
    I hope you read all of my notes I’ve written

    by the way your eye color is very beautiful
    I like it:)

  11. My goodness Matt you just get better and better! I am 44 years old and recently divorced, I read your book and watch tons of your videos and I am now dating a wonderful, exciting man who dare I say “has been exceeding all my expectations” (and my expectations are high) I feel like your coaching has taught me to just get out there and be my authentic self. I’m so grateful for all you do! Keep it up Mr. you are making the world a better place!!

  12. I LOVE this video and ALL your videos, because…YOU always try to help every last one of us. I feel your Love for us. I know you always do your BEST for us. I also consider myself a student of Love. And I Love your voice…hahahahahahahaha!!!

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