Matt and I did a podcast this week decoding your most confusing texts (from our Facebook and Instagram followers).
And one of the crazy plot twists was: some of the most popular ones weren’t all that confusing.
Sure, there were some classics we did take time to decode, like:
(Go and listen to the full episode on iTunes or Spotify if you want to hear us analyse this text and much more!)
Or there were the kind of texts that sound like a cheesy line from a movie, or as I now dub them, “failed screenplay texts”:
Yep, those are kind of confusing.
But then there were texts that were just honest. Weirdly, boldly, stupidly honest:
Is this a weird text? Yes.
Is it fastidiously rational to the point where you might wonder if he thinks you’re some kind of pre-programmed sex robot that he can schedule in a Google calendar along with his other meticulously psychopathic weekly plans? Yes.
But is it CONFUSING? Actually, no.
Same as this one:
This one is simple as can be. It just means: I have priorities that come before you.
It’s someone telling you exactly where you stand to them early on. It’s someone telling you to keep the bar set low, and never expect anything more. It’s someone telling you exactly who they are.
In a weird way, we should be grateful when someone lays it out so clearly that we shouldn’t waste our time in such an efficient text!
Take this other mind-melting message for example:
Yep, I know. Sorry you had to read that one.
Is it insane someone sent this text and thought it would be ok (without some lengthy unorthodox prior arrangement)? Errr, yes.
Does it make you want to slap your hand across your forehead, and consider melting your phone in a vat of hot acid in order to scrub dating apps (and texting entirely) from your life in the most dramatic fashion possible? Sure
But is it CONFUSING? Actually, no.
There’s nothing to decipher here. The actual reasons behind the matter…don’t matter.
It’s just someone telling you how shitty they are (and people will do that, if we only listen). Ok. Thanks for the information. Goodbye.
It’s not the WHY that matters. It’s what YOU’RE going to do about it.
So is it safe 2 say I’m damned if I do & damned if I don’t…ive tried being nonchalant with some but other times completely honest.2 b honest,I’d rather someone b honest.regardless I’m sure I will continue 2 communicate the best I know bcause I enjoy the opposite sex.i also enjoy shocking the hell out of them with things that I say.thats just me
I needed to hear this. A guy I was seeing for a year and a half, last night never responded to my text. We have an agreement that we will at least talk once a day, if not see each other. He didn’t even bother to read my text.when I called him, he seemed disinterested and he told me he “didn’t have time” to respond, when I called him. Believe it when someone tells you who they are or what they stand for. I had been getting these subtle signals for awhile, but this was pretty blunt. I feel broken because I keep picking these guys and I keep putting up with their awful behavior. People were warning me and I didn’t listen.