Complex relationship issue warning: My boyfriend and I live together. We’ve been dating for about two years now. I am a lot younger than he is and am working on getting my business going so that I can support us and provide a good life for our family one day. I started this business while I was finishing up at university.
This has been such a tough point for us- like I mentioned, I live with him, but I don’t pay rent. I buy us a lot of groceries, cook us food, make him food, do as much around the place as I can (time is a little limited!) and try to make our home comfortable, which is tricky because… well, he isn’t used to cleaning up. Anyway. I hope that what I am doing is making the situation “fair”. He owns his place, but has a mortgage.
I remember our first date- he paid, but I definitely offered, even taking money out. I paid for the second one and for quite a few more (or so it sounds, according to your recommendations!). Most other dates up until recently, though, he has paid, and I usually pay the tip (Which is a lot because he likes to order a ton.). He told me that this was never the case with his exes and that they would always pay for their share. But I really want to save up for my business- I can go out when I actually have a comfortable amount of money to spend. So, I reworked my budget and I can spend some money each week on going out, including with friends. But I usually can’t do this because it isn’t a lot and there wouldn’t be anything left to go out with him, or very little. So I have just been going out with him and will suggest that whichever friend I want to visit with and I take a walk.
He eats out a lot. Way less now, that I am cooking for us so much, and when we go out, I still pay the tip or I will just pay for myself. He isn’t insisting on paying. I don’t have the same expenses as him, but I also don’t have the same income. And I don’t even want to go out and get anything fancy- I am happy if we cook at home. I really want to focus on longterm goals.
Am I being unfair?