Something I Want to Talk About…

I must have read the same comment 1000 times now: “Matt, all your advice tells us women we have to do everything, while men get away with being lazy, useless, selfish, etc. How is that fair?”

If you’ve ever even vaguely felt that the dating game is rigged unfairly against you, I really need you to hear this…


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81 Replies to “Something I Want to Talk About…”

  1. What if you slept with him when you first met him and now he doesn’t have time for you but you want to see him again

  2. Matt,
    I really appreciate you making this clear. It is important to recognize explicitly what great relationships look like in an age where women are still disproportionately affected by domestic violence, unequal household roles, sexual harassment etc and we are often raised to only see our worth through attention from men and in marriage.

    On a separate note, I’ve been thinking a lot about the phrase ‘personal responsibility’ used in personal development and spiritual leadership because those words have been used in politics to blame (‘they deserve what they asked the universe for’ )and turn backs on refugees, working class people, people of colour, lgbtq communities. I know that’s not how you mean it. This is a request I am making to you and to others in the coaching business. Perhaps for another dialogue. Perhaps ‘ownership’ is a better phrase?
    Really appreciate your work and all the thinking you do to help me understand love and romance.

  3. Matthew, take heart I have always thought that your videos are encouraging women to expect better. We should also be teaching our sons to be better me btw.
    If we expect more from men then they will step up xxx
    Thank you Heidi

  4. Matt, thank you!! This needed to be said. Your retreat turned me around and helped me step up and be the leader of my life. I am trying to explain to friends that my actions reflect what I think is the right things to do, even though it may be too kind or forgiving etc to some. But I feel I am true to myself, so I do it (up to a certain point). Which does not mean I am lowering my standards.

  5. Matt, couldn’t agree more with what you just said and it really touched me – I truly belief that by acting warm, generous, loving, simply the way that makes a difference in this world unconditionally it is the way to create real abundance in your life and attract what really counts!❤❤❤ Thank you for being the incredible person you are and sharing with us so much positiveness and love!!! Lots of love

  6. Hi Matt,
    I’ve followed you and got most of your products for more than two years now.
    Your methods might be universal, but I’m a Spanish girl living in Sweden, I’ve dated I don’t know how many people here and I can say they don’t work with this culture. That’s why I get some frustrated and I’m at a point in my life where I honestly don’t know if I should try to move to another country again.
    I recommend you to watch “The Swedish theory of Love”, it’s some sort of documentary and of course it’s biased and quite extreme, but I feel there’s some truth there.
    Thanks for this video, it’s really encouraging :)

  7. Matt thank you for this message. I’ve been starting to think about this. But before your video. I figured out that is not who I am. It feels natural for me to be positive about life and other people around me. They call me sunshine at work because of it. And i get hit on alot by men of younger ages. But I’m still seeking my love. We will find each other. Thank you.

  8. Matt but what happens if we try to do all of these things but nothing happens and the guy just starts to hate you instead of love you.

  9. Thank you Matthew for being so generous and always at your best. Yes you are right, you are setting the exemple and you have insipired me in doing just the same. Thank you. I wish to apologise in advance for any mistake I will make in expressing myself, English is not my first language.
    I have stumbled upon your videos by chance and actually a very fortunate one, I am amazed by your sapience and deep knowledge of human souls, at your age! You certainly work hard, but there is more to it, you have a true gift.
    You have convinced me that I should get back into the game, that it is always better to be at my true best, that we females and males are yes different, but there is an opportunity whenever we acknowledge each other as valuable human beings, whenever we give ourservels the freedom to be. Not easy though.
    I am working on myself, thanks to YOU, I am trying to find what is valuable in me, who am I today and what kind of human being I want to be. When ready I will try and go out into the world (2018 hopefully….bah).
    I will keep watching you, you make it easy!

    p.s. You have also set the bar at impossible high standards….You are aware of that aren’t you?

  10. Most of the time you get something in return when you give away a present. And our loving and caring behaviour is also a present. Matt, you are right, there are persons out there who do not deserve presents. But there are also many who do,

  11. Dear Matthew,

    This Regina from Riga, Latvia writing you the first time. With this email I want you encourage and show my support. And I do know, that you already know, that the work you are doing is needed and makes a difference in so many lives. Your heart is at the right place. Just keep following your calling and your focus no matter what. I have been following your messages since this summer I guess, your content is genuine and comes from your believes, your passion, the last email especially, it comes so deep from your heart :) Sometimes really it feels that out there is a good and smart friend always encouraging, making laugh or think and ask the right questions to myself. I do believe I have found a great advisor, friend in you and I’m so glad about it. I do want to confirm, that definitely not only I (EN is not even my first language ;) but also many other listeners do understand your messages, when you talk about the behavior women should consider and apply. And I do appreciate the message you emphasise so often – to be whise to whom you should invest yourself.
    And a big thank goes out to you for what you do and the way you do deliver your “on the sofa” messages – so authentic and sincere and sometimes really funny LoL
    You are awesome and please do keep doing what you do best!

    Best greetings,
    Regina

  12. Matt, first, your retreat basically saved my life. An exercise you lead about “being dead”. That was my first awakening from the walking dead. Thank you. Second this video made me think INTENT! Who do we all want to be? If your intent to make changes towards the better you is to “get the guy”. You will be very frustrated. I learned this first hand. Intent to be a better you and be happier is the goal. Once this is achieved, any of our goals and dreams can be attainable, including “your man”

  13. Matthew, I was one of the women who left a comment stating why do we have to do all the work. I believe that men do the very lease to get by in a relationship. I was married for 25 years. I did everything. I should have dumped his butt years ago but we had 2 girls together. So I stayed. He cheated, I divorced him. Why do men think they can ask for and get everything but give nothing and then expect sex???? That would be a great video to do with a female counterpart….Your message is great, but you need a women’s perspective to get the point across so women can hear it. If there was a woman spokesperson there with you filling in the parts for men it would be very effective. It would balance out the real message you are trying to share with women. Make sure she is self-aware and very smart! Thanks for this video, it validated that I was not the only one feeling that way.

    1. Holly, the long comment you referred to has just been approved and published! :) We read comments before publishing them so we can moderate for spam – that’s why they’re not published instantly. Thanks for sharing your perspective! – Mars

  14. When we work on ourselves, we don’t (mainly) for ourselves. It makes us happier and whole. And within a relationship, we’ll be the prize.

    Thank you Matt.

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