I must have read the same comment 1000 times now: “Matt, all your advice tells us women we have to do everything, while men get away with being lazy, useless, selfish, etc. How is that fair?”
If you’ve ever even vaguely felt that the dating game is rigged unfairly against you, I really need you to hear this…
►► Become who you want to be. I’ll show you how at → MatthewHusseyRetreat.com
Such an important message and very well said, Matt! Like attracts like! Try and be a better person every day, but don’t allow yourself to be a doormat!
xx
Hi Matt,
We should stop investing in the wrong person and I totally agree with that. But does not that contradict “giving your best self, regardless of what everbody else does” statement?
I have to admit my relationship was doomed for a while. These 11 months have been bumpy but beautiful at the same time. About the first 6-8 months my boyfriend was selfish and not so considerate of my emotions. I made decisions to do kind things such as love notes, his favorite candy gift every now and then, have dinner ready most days out of the week. All of the kind things i did for him began to be responded. He sent me roses to my job, he brings me my favorite candy occasionally, he orders delivery for dinner sometimes, and we’ve been having amazing deep conversations. I could have easily called it quits many time, but i felt he had been hurt so much that he needed to see for himself that i was not one of those women but a true lady that cares for him. And a lot of praying for guidance from above. My heart knew where to lead me, my mind knew to guide me so i wouldn’t get heartbroken. My first relationship in roughly 7 years. Now today is my birthday and he has a surprise for me and i will find out tonight.
The ladies have to get to know the men they are with and have to decide if the work is worth putting in for the man or if it’s time to walk away. I chose to stay based on seeing his relationship with his parents and the resemblance to mine.
Thanks Matt for saying all that! I was feeling like it was all on me, so when it didn’t work I felt like I’m the one who failed and like it was all my fault. Truth is that even if you do everything right the other person can still not respond and act like asshole.
Brilliant coaching. I’m a huge fan.
What a great video. FYI this is why I follow you and listen to you as opposed to many others in your field. You are about personal growth. You break down the gender gap. Not just preach about what women should do. I’ve never commented before, but thought it important to today. You have a gift of insight, and are wise beyond your years. You’ve enriched my life greatly with your videos, blog and advice emails. Keep it up and thank you!
Your sincerity speaks to me. I appreciate you and the work you do. Great life lesson here. Priceless.
Well,yeap, some guy friends ask for my advice because yours gave me lots of sparkling things in my own relationship.
It’s almost like you know what I’m thinking about the minute I wake up Matt! I’ve been crticized lately for the investment I’ve shown in this one gentleman, who has been going through not just mental, but physical exhaustion so his investment isn’t the best at the moment. In the past I’ve been told I care too much about my friends. These comments have made me feel bad for myself, like I am supposed to only do things when people do something for me. I see it that way sometimes, but what my friends don’t understand is that they give meaning to my life everyday. The genlteman I mentioned earlier thinks I’m “too good of a friend” to him, but I’m just doing a small act of kindness because it makes me feel good (not to mention he was investing so much time in me when I didn’t want him or didn’t have time). I believe I’m a warm and giving person, and I just want people to always pass it forward. Thank you for this video!
I think that was the best video you have ever done. For a long time I have felt that all your advice is good and interesting but I felt like it would be just too hard work to remember everything if I ever tried to date again so I just didn’t dare try. Now I am thinking that the best I can do is focus on myself and be the best me I can be. Thanks.
The beacon…I love this idea!
Thanks for that message and I agree. Dr. Deepak Chopra said “Become what you want to attract”. This has become my mantra in relationships. Not only with men but with everyone! If you want loving, caring, kind people in your life, then become a loving, caring and kind person.
Hi Matt,
I am so glad that you made this video. I listen to your advice and put it into practice. However, every guy I have dated for the past year has turned me down telling me that they are not looking for anything serious. Some of whom have gone into relationships straight after dating myself. I feel that I am working hard to become the best version of me and am looking for a man who is doing the same. I am not desperate for a relationship, I will not settle for someone who is the wrong person for me. I am on a self love journey so I feel like why should I be saying, “Oh there must be something wrong with me, what am I doing wrong” But as this has been happening for the past year, I thought I would ask for some friendly advice.
Also, love the videos!
Absolutely awesome message.. just perfect!!!
I am pretty sure I am the girl of your dreams.
Good video matt here is A lovely quote from a marriane Williamson book I read – Angels do not light long; they fly away when love denies them. They do not linger in the regions of earthly fear. Angels only come to pick up passengers, to fly away with them to paradise. Everything else is so ultimately silly, and everything else is so sad.
There is one more thing to know about the angel who came for you. The angel who came to fly you to paradise in reality had only one wing. She needed the angel in you to come forth, to be to her what she was willing to be to you. Thus your need for, your dance, your flight with each other. Together, you would have had one set of wings.
Next time she comes – whoever she is- perhaps you will not deny her. Next time she comes, be humble before the Lord. Next time she comes, admit your pain. Next time she comes, come forth yourself. Next time she comes, let go your resistance.
Next time she comes, be brave. ❤️
I love your message today! I, too, have been one of those who wondered, “Why don’t you advise more men? I’m the one doing most of the work.”
The truth is that I love my life and am not a lonely person. It is hard to find someone who is worth dating but at least I am not wasting my time or my family’s time with someone wrong for me.
The wrong guys have ended up draining my time and energy. Worse, my peers may still ask about them while I would rather focus on something more fun and positive.
That being said, I would love to hear your thoughts about graceful ways to disengage with interested but wrong guys. Guys can be horrible with rejection and I don’t want any drama or trauma.
Happy international men’s day! <3 And thank you for such a wonderful message!
Hello Mathew
Thank you for this and I understand. I’m hearing that you are wanting to give us insight into the human nature of men and women so we can develop skills to have great relationships. It’s amazing to me how such a young man can have so much wisdom but I’m thankful you are sharing. P.S. Can tell you are working out, looking fit.
“Why do I have to change..” because you are the one watching the video. You are in control of your own actions and choices, and whoever the other person is, you can’t make them do or choose anything.
If they are terrible..keep shining and being the very best version of yourself. They can be with you and see your effort and be good to you..or be gone. When you are your best self, you will gleefully say goodbye to those people because you will want to be around people who bring out that amazing person who you LOVE to be. Not people who crush it.
This is what I’ve learned in 2 years from Matthew. Thank you! (Still haven’t gotten any guys, though. ;D lol!)