Q&A – He Only Wants to Date You Once You’ve Lost Weight?!!

This week I invited all of you to send me your questions (and was surprised and delighted by the kind of issues that came up!)

Here are some of the meaty topics we ended up covering:

– Why do guys in relationships still indulge in sexual fantasy?

– Is it ok to feel resentful when you only get attention from guys after losing weight?

– How do you know if a guy is cheating?

And if all that isn’t enough, I’m joined by my incredibly handsome brother Stephen, who once again returns to my channel by popular demand.

I know you’ll enjoy this one!

Within just one day of swinging open the doors, all 755 spots on my Impact program sold out! Congratulations to those of you who were able to get a spot! I can’t wait to hear your success stories!

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46 Replies to “Q&A – He Only Wants to Date You Once You’ve Lost Weight?!!”

  1. I’m absolutely passionate about the truth, even when it may hurt. You deserve the truth over comforting you with a lie.

  2. One thing I’m going to do this week is to go out with people from Meetup.com and make sure I have a conversation with at least one guy I’ve never met before. Whether from the group or someone at the venue. I’ve been doing this for a few weeks now and am having a lot of fun along my journey.

    1. And I know based on what you told us from your meetup bowling experience that you did a pretty good job with that already so I know you’ll do well again ;-)

    2. Hi,

      I’ve gone to meetups by myself. (Group ones)

      Just exercise good judgment / common sense, you should be OK.

      1. Unfortunately, at least in Seattle, Meet-ups are a complete “bust” when it comes to meeting cool guys–or if so, very rare! However, MeetUp groups are completely safe to attend alone–why would you want to bring a friend?
        Especially if you are more interested in possibly meeting a guy. MeetUps are always in public places or venues–or even if a “pot-luck” at someone’s home–you can always check at MeetUp.com your group–and see who is attending in advance, since you are supposed to RSVP. They have a good interface, so you can also “un-RSVP” up to one hour before the MeetUp, as a courtesy if you’re not going to attend. But you you should try at least 3 or 4 MeetUps before coming to any general conclusion :-). Good Luck!

  3. While I completely understand the place where you’re coming from, of someone being concerned for someone else’s health (in the realm of being overweight), the issue I have with what you say personally…is the fact that men have been SO conditioned by society to accept a Barbie type woman as the norm…that any woman who doesn’t meet that specific criteria is immediately considered out of the race. The shameful thing is this happens across lines…no matter what the man himself looks like physically, he believes he deserves a Barbie…or as close as he can come to that image. Pretty or not, an overweight woman with wit, charm, passion, and brains stands no chance against this fake image that society has gotten men to swallow hook, line, and sinker!
    While I’ve garnered a ton of excellent knowledge from your videos….this one’s off the mark, Matthew. Do a little further research. Better yet…get in to a fat suit (which YOU could just step out of)…and find out what it’s like to face fat bias.

  4. He and I have an attachment strong one. But he is waiting for me to finally get separated and live on my own.But He doesnt give me any response until 3 to 5 days later especially after sex which sometimes he doesnt even talk to me until after 2 weeks .
    When we are together we are so close and open up .When we talk on the phone he is always sweet but distant ? .What should I do ? Is he sincere or is he just using me when I am vulnerable

  5. One thing to do this week, lighten up! If you carry all your worries around with you, your face and even your body will show it. People like and are attracted to happy, smiling other people, especially of the opposite sex. And you become instantly more approachable. And life is just better if you’ve tried your hardest to sort out what you can, to then really feel joy. You start to notice all the little things around you, like spring flowers, the view ( I love a view, any view) the feel of the sun on your body.
    Nice to see you again Steve, you have a lovely charisma. xx

    1. Super, Kathryn! I actually overlooked lightening up when I heard the question. Disappointments can definitely ruin my Feng Shui, so…
      Thank you :’)

  6. what drives a person away I had a guy friend I knew for 4 years.well he just stopped talking to me all together.plus he got married .I felt stabbed in the back.when he got married I moved on.

  7. This week, a high intensity workout is a must to boost my mood and feeling of “damn, I’m sexy!”. Endorphins are magical when in comes to feeling amazing and projecting that in to the world. When you feel great about yourself, guys will also see and feel that you’re amazing.

  8. I should start eating healthy and be regular on my gym sessions. Because this would show that I have determination and dedication and that I love myself. Atleast then u have confidence that u r at your best.

  9. Lovely to hear that Matthew thinks not being thin is equal to not taking care of yourself. Which is total bollocks. Some people are naturally thin, some people are not. Nothing about body size indicates anything about self-care, Matthew. I get that people have their body size preferences and are entitled to them but please don’t insult all non-thin people with your prejudice.

  10. Another awesome video! ….Just love it when the Hussey boys do these videos together…<3 So informative…& so casual…Great rapport between the 2 of you…& such nice "eye candy"….Sorry, I can't help it! You 2 are nice to look at too! ;)

  11. With regards to the question about the weight loss, I think the reason the lady is getting more attention is because, as she says, she is more confident as a result of the weight loss. Same as a man with status. Confidence is very attractive, and some don’t have it until after some sort of success. Just my two cents.

  12. I’m going to go easy on my boyfriend when I don’t hear from him at the usual times or as often as I’d like.

    Matthew, the way women are being portrayed in porn is really quite awful, demeaning and unrealistic. When men watch porn, they are getting turned on by a diminished view of a woman. When confronted with a real woman, they often begin to put those expectations onto them, expecting the real woman to fulfill their fantasies of the porn women. No woman wants to be reduced to the porn model of what a woman is, or even be expected to behave like one in the bedroom. I felt your answer was a little insensitive to this.

    Also, on the first question, I wish you would have addressed the perspective of the other person asking no questions on a date. I’ve had this problem, and my friend as well. The men didn’t get second dates.

  13. Stay open to new ideas. My boyfriend and I are exploring new ways of doing things. He lives in Indianapolis and I live in Missouri. It is very hard to keep a long distance relationship, so we are developing new ways to love each other.

  14. I enjoy your hints & tips about dating very much & usually find that you both have lots of sensible things to say. However, I have a problem with porn which is that it objectifies both men and women and thereby dehumanises them. Research has shown that watching it also creates a very particular mindset that I want to stay away from because it’s super unhealthy, yet your response to the question about it pretty much normalised it.

    Food for thought perhaps gents? Have you thought about it in this way at all? Does knowing this change your response?

  15. I think the videos are too quick I know there is no way to get around it but you guys are talking so fast its amazing lol! I guess it is what it is…

  16. It might be a little shallow because he should’ve also liked you when you were overweight as well. However, he still likes you. You made the effort to lose weight and now you are a different/newer version of yourself. It is still a compliment that he likes you so you should take it as a compliment.

  17. For quite some time now I have been trying to widen the lexicon I use in my everyday life. I love learning new words, I even have a list of words that I find captivating and irresistible. It is amazing how simple letters combined together can create fascinating words, that if used as often as possible can create so many powerful feelings such as: Passion, affection, desire, ecstasy, excitement, happiness, joy, love, satisfaction, sensation, thrill, warmth… It is a tremendous way of expressing myself!!
    Wishing you a wonderful week too!

    1. Very Nicely Said. Thank You So Much For Sharing, I’m Getting An Awesome Musical Buzz From Hearing You Speak With Such Colorful Passion Too :0)

      1. What a remarkable thing to say Lisa!!! Thank you so much!! I do owe most of the credit, though, to Matthew, as he made me realize how powerful words can become, when used appropriately (after reading his e-book “How to talk to men”), not just with men but in every aspect of my life.
        Wherever you are wishing you an extraordinary week!!!

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