3 Rules To Get A Man To Commit And Fall in Love

If you want to get a man to commit, you need to follow a few rules so that you actually get results. Getting a man to commit is one of the all time big questions that every woman at some point in her life has wrestled with.

It is one of the most common asked questions that I have women ask me when I coach them and the golden rule is:

‘Think pleasure and pain!’

Let me explain what I mean by this.

Suppose you’ve been dating a guy for 4 weeks or so and he tells you he doesn’t want to be exclusive. Perhaps he just tells you he’s not ready to commit.

Let’s go through the specific rules of how to make him want to be in a relationship with you.

RULE No. 1 – Never ever give your man an ultimatum!

A response women often make is to give an ultimatum, in other words they’ll say to the guy that if he does not commit to her exclusively from now on, she is sorry but their relationship is over.

Now this looks like a decent approach, right? – WRONG

If you give a man an ultimatum, he will run a mile every time. By bearing down on him to make an ‘all or nothing’ decision, you will only make him associate pain and stress with commitment.

He will see it as having to resign himself to a relationship, and he’ll romanticize the freedom that he would get being single.

Rule No. 2  – Don’t give him all the benefits of a relationship before he’s committed to one

A guy has to earn is place in your life. What a lot of women make the mistake of doing is giving themselves completely to a guy before he has expressed any intention of committing.

Not only does this apply sexually, but also to how much time they give him. They let him call her up and come over whenever he’s around, they break plans for him, come and look after him when he’s ill, the list goes on….

If you give a guy all these things before you’re even dating he’ll think:

“Why do I need to commit when I can get all this attention and still be single?”

Rule No. 3 – Get him to associate massive pleasure to commitment!

Another mistake women make when men won’t commit is trying to be colder towards him. This is also the wrong response.

Although it’s right that you might want to back off a bit (or even date other men), you want to make sure that whatever time you do spend together is the most fun he could possibly have!

That way when you leave he’ll think: “I want to spend more time with this girl, we have such an amazing time together!”

You always need the guy to realize that every time he commits to you a little bit more, things get more fun, more exciting, more romantic, and more sexy. If you give him everything all at once right away, there’s nothing left for him to achieve by being in a relationship with you.

What you ideally want is for him to feel like the single life can never be as much fun than experiencing new things with you can be.

A guy needs to feel like he’s missing out by not committing to you.

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76 Replies to “3 Rules To Get A Man To Commit And Fall in Love”

  1. I wonder if there is anyway to “start over” with the same guy? There is a man who has been in my life for almost a year. When we first met, I didn’t think much of it and “gave him the goods” before we were even dating. He stuck around and we started going on date-type outings even though he had mentioned he wasn’t looking for a girlfriend. Four months after we met I was moving out of state. He made my last weekend amazing. Then all of a sudden I had to stay in the state last minute. After that we slept together once but then we stopped doing that. Now we communicate every day and see each other 2-3 times a month. He hasn’t gotten the goods in over six months yet he shows me in many ways he is into me (proximity, physical touch, shares information, helped me move and helps in other ways). Yet….here I am still single and find myself wondering how much longer I should stick around? Did I unknowingly put myself in the friend zone?

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  3. 1. Oh..okay. Well, thank you. I really appreciate you telling me. I really like that you’re so honest.

    2. No sorry, I can’t tonight. I have a date. I have some free time next week though. How about Thursday?

    3. Talk with passion about all the amazing things going on in your life that he’s missing. Laugh about shared interests. Talk about that fun thing you did together the first or second date you went on. Then go home early – alone. If he’s not commiting to it – he ain’t hitting it.

    I don’t think it’s manipulation. It’s getting on with your life and your goal of a relationship and he can either catch up or he can fade away as you find someone more on your wavelength. It’s valuing yourself enough to make him work for it.

  4. I generally appreciate your advices Matt. But Im sorry. Didnt like this one much. It seams too much like the old female concocting, working behind the scenes to ensnare a man tactics. “Trick him into behaving like a mature adult”. I dont think every man is alergic to the word “commitment”. And I dont want to convince and manipulate someone to be with me. If you are the kind of guy that wants to play around, then fine. But you are not for me. Im not into converting someone. I want someone that wants to show me that they want me. What happened with openness and honesty? “Im a woman that is looking for a relationship. If you see yourself having a relationship in the not so far away future (with any woman), we can try this and see what happens. If you dont feel it for me, thats fine but atleast we gave it a shot. Btw you seam like a great man and I find you intruiging.” Could it be so wrong?

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