6 Behaviors That Kill Relationships

If we don’t work on eliminating toxic relationship habits, it doesn’t matter how attractive we are: we’ll always find a way to self-sabotage and drive our partner away.

So here are 6 relationship-killing behaviors to avoid at all costs if you want to keep an amazing guy…

 


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57 Replies to “6 Behaviors That Kill Relationships”

  1. Matthew!! Can you please make a video on why guys get reppelled by extroverted women?!?! I just don’t get it. They like extroverted women just to be friends and have fun with, but they never take them serious to be in a relatioship with. I’m naturally extroverted, and I get really well with guys, but i always seem to create a friendly atmosphere and never really get to know any of these guys: Not because they didn’t think I was pretty, nor feminine. I think it’s because I create a fun and friendly bond with them, that they don’t see me as a potential gf. I really need an advice because I don’t want to change my personality to get to meet guys deeply, but i need help on how extroverted women like me could use this aspect on our favor!!! Could you pleeeease help me?! Thank you!! Love your work

  2. Dear Matthew,

    This was an eye-
    opening video that describes the behavioural patterns of reactions fuelled by fear extremely well. You could actually elaborate on each point and explain in more detail how these patterns could be broken. I think it´s very important to get a better understanding of how these patterns work in order to behave differently in the situation itself.

    Thanks for combining analytical thinking and emotional understanding that show us a new path of growth and freedom.

    Lisa Marie

  3. Thank you Matthew for inspiring me I really appreciate your advices, I hv question,what if my boyfriend doesn’t want me to come near him when we ar in public, he doesn’t call or text like before? Planning of breaking up with him..

  4. Hi Matt, thank you for this amazing video. Though am not in a relationship right now I know me learning all this is only going to make our life a little bit better. I love all your videos keep doing the great work you do because I know world is better with you in it

  5. that is why you are THE GUY Matthew. I am an accredited therapist but when it comes to my own issues I need someone who knows their stuff…what I admire about you is that you are not about the gimmick. So many out there who promise and don’t deliver.

    I love how you say what we truly need to hear and you don’t leave us hanging …just pay a gazillion dollars and I;ll tell you what those 6 behaviours are….lol Your videos are NOT sales pitches they are gifts and that is what really sells the whole package of who you are and what you offer.

    Love an intelligent man and you are definitely one of those…now just find me one in his 50s or 60s and I will owe you big time! lol
    Love
    Lynn

  6. Thank you Matthew for this valuable video. Your work and your words have an amazing effect on me, and I even recommended your blog to my best friend :D

    I am in an amazing relationship at the moment with this wonderful man. I like everything about him, but my issue is that he tend to keep silent whenever he’s not happy about something I did. I wish that he could open up a little and try to talk about what makes him unhappy.

    I talked to him about it, but he said that this is how had always behaved when he is upset. Please, if you could enlighten us on how should we help our partners to open up more in times of difficulties.

    Love you Matthew,
    Faizah

    1. Being loving and patient with your partner and encouraging them to say what’s on their mind and it’s ok to express what he feels. I was always the silent one for fear of saying something “wrong” or that I would later regret so I never expressed it. He might be trying to do the same. I got “I can’t handle this” and he’d storm off which made me clam up even more. These are patterns often learned in childhood so real compassion is needed to break it.

  7. ..I agree and I do believe in it. And also I believe my [more grown up & present] view are more like this. Lesson learned because of some prior experiences when I was younger and married with a [as it seems at that time] popular guy.. As a comment I believe it could have worked if the both of us were on the same page.. Which wasn’t at that moment..

  8. Great video!
    Thanks for sharing! I do like the fact that both sides hold their truths and the important thing is not what you argue about but how.
    Unfortunately I find myself to often in relationships where it’s either just black or white. Grey zones are however most of life consists of but too many people haven’t yet realized that! I started to get this only a few years ago myself!
    Cheers,
    Lisa

  9. Oh! When she chose to take his hand….heartbreakingly beautiful. Thank you Matthew for showing where the growth can be done x

  10. Thanks Matthew
    You are so right. I would love to see some follow ups on this video. If I had known how to deal with these things better years ago, I would not be divorced from what was a really great 20 year marriage. Please teach us more skills on how to talk through conflicts so if I do manage to find a new guy someday, I can keep him this time.

  11. I loved this video. I have found myself responding in more then one of these noneffective ways when conflicts arise in my relationship. This video helped me realize the changes I need to make to improve my relationships in my lovE life and personal life. Thank you!

  12. Cried over it – miss that connection, fear I made those mistakes but then I remember you saying that we can’t break the right thing. Working on my reactions, and I feel that my ex was making these mistakes, as my coach told me that I’m too accommodating, not taking care of myself enough. Ugh – a fine line…

  13. Great video. My toxic behavior is being passive-aggressive. When my friend called me out on this I immediately wanted to protest, but he was right. I try to make light of what’s bothering me by making jokes or snarky comments because I am afraid of asking for what I want or need. Now that I know how much it bothers him, I’ve begun to just say what’s on my mind.

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