My #1 Tip for Getting Your Dream Love Life (HINT: Resolutions Will Fail You)

So, it’s January… You feel pumped, focused, ready to find love, money, success, happiness, etc. You have goals. But you still wonder: Am I actually going to achieve them all? In fact, I’m willing to bet that for at least ONE of your New Year’s resolutions you still haven’t made any progress yet.

Sucks right?

Most people write down goals, throw the notepad in a drawer, and completely forget about them until a year later when they wonder why they never lost those 10 pounds, or why they never started that business, or why they never made that extra $10,000 dollars a year. The reason is because they lack an action plan for every single day.

In this week’s video, I’m giving you an inside look at one of our retreat programme’s in San Diego. You’ll see real footage of one of our women detailing her DAILY ACTION PLAN for achieving her goals.

If you’re serious about following through on your New Year’s resolutions, make sure you take notes and create your own plan from today onwards.

Join me on my next Retreat! Learn more here…

54 Responses to My #1 Tip for Getting Your Dream Love Life (HINT: Resolutions Will Fail You)

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  1. MaryAnn says:

    Hi, I really love your positive message about love and relationships. I don’t really watch and read your blog posts because I want a romantic relationship, I watch and read them because they inspire me to try a little harder at being social. I have always found my self lost among my piers not really understanding there motives for doing things that are destructive to themselves and others. But I thinks that there reasons might be because they feel a lot like me, lost because as we are growing up we are told if we act a certain way or have certain things, and accomplish certain things that we will happy and admired and loved when it’s a lie. What you were saying “Resolution’s are not Rituals” really got me thinking about the resolutions and goals that I have both accomplished and failed at over the years. the whole point of a resolution or goal is to increase your happiness and general satisfactions in life. None of mine really did. Sometimes I suffered through the steps to accomplish a goal because I am stubborn and I like that feeling of accomplishment and sometimes I just gave up because I was so miserable trying to reach my goal it just was not worth it. There is this little cartoon on pinterest that shows this guy yelling at a Buddhist Monk saying “I want Happiness” and the Buddhist monk erases I want to illustrate that happiness is a way of being. So the question becomes what are the rituals that I can create that not only fulfill my resolutions and goals but also help me be happier, healthier,and have deeper connections with people right now in this moment.

  2. Stephanie says:

    What a great video, I really appreciate the focus on “you” and the rituals to make our lives better.

    Mine are the following:
    1. Be grateful and thankful every day, Thank the Universe for all the gifts I have daily.
    2. Appreciate my beauty, mental, physical and emotional.
    3. Accept one new social event a week, don’t be afraid.
    4. Say hello to someone new each day.

    • Sarah says:

      I really like your ideas, Stephanie. I can see how those simple habits would increase positive and confident feelings, improve social skills and opportunities, and build the foundation for attracting an awesome romantic partner.

  3. Holly says:

    I can’t believe no one has said that they would watch your videos as a ritual!!
    That’s my ritual – I will watch at least one of your videos every week.
    I will finally get round to reading & finishing your book – at least one chapter a month.
    What are your rituals Matt?!

  4. Mahdis says:

    Hello Matthew,

    My problem is that I barely see guys in my daily life because of my work .
    I was wondering if you could give me some tips how to meet more guys . I dunno where should I start?

    • Holly says:

      Do you have a daily commute to work? Talk to guys on your commute, look at social events in your town ( is a good one), look online, talk to the postman or the guy that you get your coffee from. Any guy you see talk to! It doesn’t matter if they’re your type or not just get into the habit of talking that way when you do meet someone you like it isn’t such an issue. When you can talk to everyone you can talk to anyone!

  5. Michelle says:

    I’m had already started in this vain !
    My resolution are for 3 months only then I can change / review them or add new ideas. This keeps me and life alive!
    I put an apron on when clearing up the house/ kitchen every day this gets the job done faster and puts me in the right mindset.
    Given the chance I talk to men and women every day from the young guy in the gym to the lady I pass each day. makes the day so much more enjoyable.
    I tick off all the days I don’t contact my ex !! Prob don’t need to explains this one – when used with the things you say In your book I am reminded I am a female of value – who does not chase anyone who walked out of my amazing life!
    Getting my life back started some months ago I’m one who used to give it up for time with him :-/ never again ! It’s amazing how much better I feel, and how enjoyable it is – balance is the key in life!
    I figure I have a choice – moan and do nothing or get up and live. I’m going for living and trusting that things or people go for a good reason! It’s funny a lot of what you say I knew deep down your words are supporting me in owning it …. It’s the power of it that can feel a little freaky – that small tiny voice that says ‘ red flag’ has my full attention now :)
    Thank you

  6. Leigh says:

    I am recovering from a breakup with an emotionally abusive man. I am going to write a gratitude list every morning and journal for 20 minutes. I will also speak to one man a day.

  7. Lisa says:

    My Rituals I will partake in around men:
    1) no longer will I become shy if I am around a Really Cool guy and feel he is better than me . Even if I do have that initial feeling I will own my own power and not cow back
    2) I am great at saying Hello and I will now also keep the conversation going (not my strong point)

  8. Michelle says:

    Dear Matthew,

    I have just seen your video “Getting your Dream Love like” (Resolutions will fail).

    After watching the video clip first, (by the way Erica was amazing and I wish her and her family all the love and success in her life) I showed my two sons and my Husband.

    Not only are your videos and strategies amazing, but are also so needed to be known by all people who wish to better themselves and help to teach their families and children more. So that we as mothers can teach our sons how to be able to be the best they can be in their lives, using your tools.

    I am a 40 year old women ( I still feel 32) from Melbourne Victoria Australia and have two beautiful boys who are aged 8 years old and 12 years old (nearly 13yrs).

    Through your videos that I have watched of late, you not only inspire me to become a better human being, wife, teacher and mother, but you are helping me pass these qualities on to my beautiful already young amazing men.

    So, I just wanted to say a sincere Thank You, for all your videos that you have shared to millions of people around the world , but also thank you for helping me see and recognise that these qualities I have always had, (but got lost somewhere until I started watching you.) have helped me reclaim my life and I can not thank you enough.

    I now know that I am back on my right path of life now and that I now have my confidence back to teach my sons how to become amazing young men and help them to see their place in this world.

    So Thank you from the bottom of my heart.

    Kindest Regards,

    Michelle Pfeiffer

  9. Emily says:

    So inspired after reading the others’ rituals–what a fabulous community to be part of!

    This episode also made me think of something you quoted elsewhere about how a great life is really a collection of great days! Feel that way right now as I incorporate into my days the things I love and moving towards my dreams! Thank you, Matt.

  10. " Virginia Slattery says:

    Will getting your info help me?? I am 68, a widow over a year.
    There is someone younger than me, that I am crazy about. Things moving to slow.
    Will your “scripts” help me. I am a young 68, and full of life within, that needs to be lived.
    Please respond.
    V. S.

  11. Jenny says:

    This is brilliant. I went from having a vague “Write more” to ‘I will write every morning, and by the end of the year have a manuscript-length book ready for editing.” Already I’m feeling so much more accomplished. Even though what I write every day isn’t perfect, and perhaps it I’ll end up throwing it away, at least I’m writing SOMETHING. So, thanks for the encouragement to be specific.

    My other resolution was to learn Greek, so I signed up for Greek class and Rosetta Stone and inundate myself with Greek music and videos. It’s a commitment, but one that I’m happy to be working towards.

  12. Dina says:

    Also I’m watching Dr Wayne Dayer links and ordered books. I have also start meditating and I’m
    Grateful that I have so much free time in my life that I could allocate for things that I like. Mathew thank you and I wish you a great success in your private and professional life. Happy New Year 2016 ❤️✨

  13. Dina says:

    Joining and get on line every second day for an hour

  14. Yesenia says:

    Meet someone new every day.

  15. Mick Bronson says:

    To write one different thing, that I appreciate about my wife, in a journal every day!

  16. Robin Belinda Mitchell Wilcox says:

    Just to become postive for a new beginning in my life. Smile more !

  17. Janneane says:

    I was on the retreat in Aug 2014 and these 1% shifts really do wonders! I have been focused on mental, physical health and strengthening friendships since the retreat. None of my goals were related to my love life, then or now. I have quite the list of small shifts – some of which include waking up earlier, reading before bed, drink more water, and focus on gratitude. My January action will be to be still for 10-20 minutes each morning, not meditate, just be still, open my mind and let creativity flow and clarity at the start of my day. I also signed up for Brene Brown’s Living brave class – very excited, as it begins tomorrow! Love to you all. Stay Amazing! xx Janneane, South Korea

  18. Heather says:

    My new ritual that I’m beginning is meditation in the mornings before work to start the day with a clear mind. Last month, I decided I decided I would go on one date a week because I wanted December to be fun for me! It was kind of exhausting because some dates were bad, but I’m interacting with more men now even though I haven’t found the one. I will talk to one guy a day this month and see how things change up! Thank you for this video. Loved it!

  19. Ozlem says:

    Hi Matthew,
    Happy new year. I just want to say that, I saw one of your videos on Youtube yesterday. Then, I couldn’t keep myself from watching all of them. You are really good on your field. It is nice to see that eventually someone answering a better question like ” What should women want? instead of ” What women want?”.
    Also your sense of humor is very sophisticated and wits fit the bill perfectly on each topic. I am really enjoyed while watching you. Well, I decided to break my “love fasting” after 4 long years. Because of your passionate speeches, I have fallen in love with Love again :) Thanks and regards.

  20. LeDon says:

    Very inspriring, Matthew. Thank you. After contemplating what is best for improving my social life, I firmly believe I need to wakeup at 5:30 am to mentally prepare my day in a positive meditation & prayer as well as review my plan for the day. From there, I will stretch, run & lift. Then I will focus on looking at everything that cross my path as a golden opportunity and look hard at the lessons of the day in a positive light. I will also take time to look people in the eyes & smile. Smiles are inviting and kind, so I love the idea of sharing a smile. Whenever I know something somehow isn’t right, I will follow my intuition and simply say NO & change my course for the better. Thus, leading a positive, balanced life for 2016 is my most important goal. Thank you again, Matthew!

  21. Laurence says:

    I will compliment 3 people a day (one has to be a guy) and start making new friends

    I will do 10minutes Pilates everyday

    I will feel sexy and happy everyday

    I will work on my business everyday because it feels good!

  22. Vasiliki says:

    Since the beginning of 2016 I started learning two new words each day. One Greek and one English word. I joined a literature club, so I will read one book each month. While reading the book, I will make notes of everything I find interesting, knowledgeable, as well as my thoughts and feelings, so that I can share them with the other members. My goal is to widen my horizons and advance my writing and talking skills. I will continue to listen to your thought-provoking tips, ideas and advice!!

  23. Hilda says:

    My ritual will be to exercise for 30 minutes as soon as I wake up, 5 days a week.

  24. Paula says:

    My ritual for january is go to courses I like and then I can meet interesting people.

  25. liz Taylor says:

    I’m going to get comfortable with waking up at 6:30 everyday. I will proceed with my morning ritual as usual, but I think I need to tighten it up.I will write down and interpret my dreams. I will watch a video or listen to a podcast that is nourishing to my soul and inspiring to me. I will read something expanding and spiritually enriching. I will meditate. I will write. I will stick with the workout routine that helped me reach my fitness goal. I will take dance classes. I will add fun to everything I do! I will love myself and my life so much! I will re-devote myself to my dreams and continue to develop the qualities in myself that I seek in another. I will be quicker to get rid of the wrong guys. I will watch a video from Fast Track to Mr. Right: Find and Attract any Man, Get The Guy or Keep The Guy, or from your You Tube everyday to stay reminded of my goal to find a !!High Value Man!!

  26. Candace says:

    30 minute strength training on M W F followed by 10 to 30 minutes rebounding. All other days I walk one to two hours. I keep track of my calories, increasing them on weight training days and decreasing them on walking days. You can walk in the house, check out Leslie Sansone. You can also strength train at home.

  27. Beth says:

    My goal is self practice yoga at home. This will help with my health and mindset, and won’t restrict me to a yoga class room.

    My ritual is before I shower in the morning on weekdays, I do at least one sun salutation. I am up to 5 sun salutation. I feel more competent as I read more information later in the day to expand on what I do. I feel more confident I will get to where I want. I am excite to develop what I have start, try it on vacation, become even healthier, and start my day with a calm state.

    PS: I continue a ritual I started back when I attended the October 2014 retreat, where I watch your weekly videos (LOVE life too) and read Stephen’s blog every Sunday morning. It gets me eager for my week to start.

  28. Jenna says:

    My ritual is to definitely smile to more men. I do tend to smile at other people and am naturally friendly but when it comes to smiling at men I’m attracted to I get a little nervous. So smiling at 2-3 men a day I find attractive is my goal. Also, I want to lose another 10 pounds by end of February, beginning of March and I will try to set goals to reach it!

    • Sydney says:

      I think a smile is the single most attractive thing I need to master to get some dates with guys on the calendar this year!

  29. Mariana Valente says:

    Awesome! I was on that Retreat! Great to see a glimpse of it again! Thanks guys!

  30. Jen says:

    I’m focused this year on mental, physical health and strengthening friendships. So I’m starting each morning when my alarm goes off with a timer for 10 minutes of meditation to start my day off with a clear and peaceful mind. Then I drink a 16 oz glass of water to refresh my body as well. And send one text message to a friend I’ve not been in contact with lately with a compliment to hopefully make someones day a bit brighter.

  31. Elena says:

    Worst things first- Technique #6 from Matthew’s “Confidence Secrets” guide.

    I’ve been doing one hour of the most annoying thing I have to do (my thesis) as first thing in the morning. This tiny ritual gives me great confidence along the rest of the day.

  32. Samin says:

    I know that I come off as too serious and intense sometimes, so I would like one of my daily rituals to be looking into 3 people’s eyes and smiling, whoever it may be. I’m also going to casually compliment something from a guy each day.

  33. Mika says:

    Matt, this was great. I knew, and have heard, that rituals do have an impact on the quality of life you could have but hearing an example of it and how it is planned helped me think about my rituals and what I am or am not doing to achieve the kind of quality life I desire to have. Great post and video..I will book mark this treasure for future references.

  34. Michelle says:

    Get out of my daily routine and place myself in places to meet men.

  35. Ria says:

    Thank you for this Matthew, it’s really helpful. My mantra this year is action. Creating daily rituals is a great foundation to fulfil that.

    I’m excited.

  36. Slobodanka says:

    I started to workout 3x each day, ’cause I had an ankle surgery, and I want to recover 3x faster. :-) And I’m doing this for my better half, too. :-*

  37. Nicole Lawson Miles says:

    Push ups. I will do them daily to increase my stamina, make my breathing deeper and tighten up my body. This will boost my self image and esteem.

  38. monica says:

    Be able to spend quality time with the person im intrested in hopefully it turns out to more than friends

  39. Maria says:

    Complimenting one guy a day and provoking one guy a day also)
    And count the reaction!

  40. Jen says:

    Hi Matt, thanks for this, great advice!

    My first ritual for this year is to walk to and from work each day. It’s a 45min walk each way but only takes me 15 mins longer than the bus. The goal is to get to a healthy BMI and I’ve already lost 5lbs from this first week and feeling positive I can make it!

    Last year my goal was to not get sick all the time with coughs and colds so I started a ritual of eating a 5-7 variety fruit salad with yogurt and seeds each morning for breakfast. I kept it up all year and didn’t get sick once. It had the added bonus that I lost 14lbs and my hair is really shiny.

    I strongly believe rituals can change you life and I plan to improve mine one ritual at a time.
    Thanks, Jen

    • Kim says:

      Matthew, I want to make the routine things I do more social. Example, I work out with a trainer, but I want to find an exercise program with people and hopefully a gym class that includes men!
      Thanks for the encouragement.

      • Sydney says:

        Wow, that’s really awesome. Congratulations on already losing 5 lbs!

        I think yogurt is so great, and with a healthy breakfast like that – no wonder you didn’t get sick! What a great idea. I will steal :)

        I’m going on a special diet for 3 weeks, but after that I’m going to model your breakfast. You make it sound so appetizing too! “5-7 variety fruit salad with yogurt and seeds”

        I’m also going to make a granola topping from just different toes of nuts.

        Thank you, keep it up :)

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