How To Be Sexier And Smarter At The Same Time

Knowledge is one of the most attractive things we can have.

Sometimes knowledge comes in the form of what we know, other times in the form of things we can do and skills we have.

We live in a world where it’s become more necessary than ever to have eclectic knowledge and diverse skillsets.

Men are running out of ways to feel special

It’s not enough that we make money or have status, because women today already have these things.

We have to work a little harder to be interesting

We cannot afford NOT to be a Renaissance man or woman with a variety of skillsets, art forms and knowledge bases.

Knowledge and skill is a good look on anyone – as is curiosity which inevitably leads us to these things.

And attraction is sustained for longer periods of time when you’re able to keep surprising your partner.

Challenge:

Go and learn about or study something that you have no real need for. Just do something new.

When you’ve decided, leave a comment about the thing you’ve picked. Then come back and leave another at the end of the week to let me know how you’ve gotten on! Do you feel more interesting? Do you have a story because of it?

Be sure to let me know as you’ll be giving me ideas for what I can go on to do next myself!

Want a proven blueprint for meeting great guys while involved in group activities and taking improving classes? Check out my online program The Man Myth to get inside the male mind, chance your ‘filter’ for creating opportunity, and start meeting more men than ever before.

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563 Replies to “How To Be Sexier And Smarter At The Same Time”

      1. Hi Mathew,

        My name is Noura from UAE I really like the information that you give it to us in how to get the right man and most important in how to be attractive by knowladge. I wanted to take your advice. I have this guy that I really like we have been talking to each other in the work by the massanger looking to each other I was the only one who is interested at him cause he was honest and nice. but one day I found out that he went out with a girl and I told him that I know about what he did he sudenly change and when that girl was as freind for me I tried to conivnce him that I don’t care if he went out with her or not but I started to apologys from something that I did not do because I did not want to lose him as freind. he get annoyed because of the massages that I was sening to him he really get annoyed about that and he tell his freind that I love him and annoying him but deep in side he all the time keep his eyes one me even when we were fighting now I don’t see him any more only in the instgram his girl keep watching my profile and he ignore me what should I do I like him as friend the girls was telling him bad things about me and he believed it.

  1. Hi Matthew i just first wanna say Thank you so Much for making this Awesome blog. And i’m gonna take your challenge to try something New because i like to take challenges. My challenge gonna to be Learning more for math i’m not good at it. And just wanna ask you ons Thing?? I have a internship by the bakkery but can you give me some convidence tips to become less nervus?? I’m the only girl in there and i’m so nervus for next monday?? Any tipps for me??

    Thanks so and so Much everything That you do for everyone i really appreciate That and Thanks so Much for answering if you can. Just Thanks so and so Much <3

    Lovely Greetz Thirza. Have a great evening and week :D

    1. I just saw on the video That my challenge not can Goes About work. Than my challenge gonna be running 5 Miles tommorrow ;) i have a day off so why not try it ;) wish me luck ;)

    2. Hi Thirza! Always great to hear from you, thank you for the comment. I can understand your nerves for Monday, starting anything new can be intimidating. Take it easy on Sunday, do something that relaxes you or makes you laugh and also make a list of things you want to learn or accomplish during your internship. Come Monday, you’ll be able to go into the situation with a more concrete idea of what you want, which can make it less intimidating. Just be sure to go into the situation with an openness to learn and gain new knowledge ; ) Take care lovely!!

      Matt x

      1. Thanks, Matt. It is always great to hear this kind of thing from a man. I’ve always loved learning new things. To the women who say “some men don’t like smart women”, that is true–as a woman with multiple university degrees I’ve got some stories…but those aren’t the men we want or need to be with. I’ve developed some pretty geeky hobbies, but through them I’ve found “my people”–folks who share my interests and who are also open to learning and to orgers who like to learn. One thing I’ve never done is learn something I’m not interested in just to attract a guy. I’ll leave the carburetor adjusting to the guys (do cars even still have carburetors?) Some things I’ve learned for my own interest in recent years: Salsa, Lindy Hop, wool spinning, Scottish history (discovered some 15th century horse thieves in my ancestry!), ukulele (seriously, no-one is turned off by ukulele skills). And after years of total high-tech emersion (also self-taught) I recently bought a fountain pen and am learning to hand-draw fonts so I can write pretty, old-fashioned notes on real paper. (By extension I’ve discovered that there’s a whole lot to learn just about fountain pens! More geekery…). All these things I’ve learned/am learning just because I personally find them fun and interesting. Bonus if I find a guy who likes hand-written cards and ukulele serenades :-)

      2. Thanks Matthew for your Nice comment and tipps.
        I’m defintly gonna use it. and my Internship Starts August 26 next monday.

        But Thanks so Much for everything <3

  2. I love meeting new people, and I love making intentional connections.

    I just signed up for your program and learned about the looks and how men have fewer non-verbal receptors. So useful!

    I also learned how to brew beer:)

    Thanks for your inspiration!!! (And I totally agree with Kristina.)

  3. I took sometime to learn about cars since the guy I’m interested in says he likes a girl that knows her cars

    1. Hi Mac, it’s great you took up a new interest and decided to learn about cars, just be sure you’re doing it not only for him but that it’s also a topic which genuinely interests you as well : )

      Matt x

  4. Matthew you are so nice giving us challenges to fight with!
    I’m going to learn more about medicine and illnesses, and all this stuff.
    I’m a language student :D

    1. Hey! That’s funny, because I am a Medical student and I wanted to comment that I would love to learn more languages. I am currently trying to learn Japanese (self-study) :)

      Thank you so much for the amazing blog posts and videos by the way, Matt! I am currently 21 y/o and single, but I have already used a lot of your advice already! xx

  5. Hey Matt
    Im going to read more on exercise and nutrition as ive just joined a boot camp with lots of guys.

  6. Really appreciate this video and agree so much with everything you say in your videos.
    Now Matthew I’d love to get more of your LIFE advice because the video with the quote of Jerry Seinfeld honestly inspired me a lot. I know you’re doing your “Lifestyle Retreat” which sounds so interesting to me and I’d love to fly all the way from Germany to Florida for them (even though I don’t know if you allow 20year-olds in your live events). Unfortunately though my job doesn’t allow me to take 5days off. Do you think you could write a book on life advice some day, or maybe an online programme?
    Thank you for everything :)

  7. Good Morning Matt!
    Two things I have been thinking about learning and am now encouraged to follow through with 1) Two-stepping/line dancing. Taking actual lessons not just muddling through. 2) World of comics/sci-fi/pop culture. Recently started interacting with a very cool group with this passion. Need to learn more so I can interact with them intelligently.
    I find one of the most attractive traits a man can have is a love of learning and a genuine curiosity of the world. I’ve been really cultivating this in order to be a high value woman with an interesting life.
    Thanks for this video and for truly helping people become who they are meant to be. XO

    1. Hi Alena, thanks so much for your comment, so well put! I love that your drive to learn comes from a deep rooted passion, curiosity and a general yearning to be the best version of yourself. Keep it up! : )

      Matt x

      1. “Attraction is sustained for longer periods of time when you are able to keep surprising your partner when you are able to find new ways to impress upon them that you are growing that you are expanding and that you know things they don’t.” Inspired I followed your advice.

        After the whole topic of finding the one, the one soulmate person to spend your life with…my other area of great interest is finding three best friends, with one of them being the closest “there is one friend that sticks closer than a brother” …I got this quote from the torah/proverbs after a general search on “friendship” and went on to find/read the story of David and Jonathan and was greatly inspired by this aspect of it…that just like the one you are meant to marry and love, the chemistry in romantic love AND the chemistry between that ONE best friend, is something that comes to us, and we find that one person to marry and that best friend, it is destiny…our part is put ourselves in a position where we are likely to come across it, but we can’t create either type of chemistry unfortunately…it seems to just happen, to be innate in us,and we can then proactively make it grow and prosper once found…anyways, my concern is what about those that diligently seek to find a someone to click romantically with,to marry and a close friend to click with and share talk about relationships with ect and say two more so as to play cards with ect…but throughout the trajectory of life have not been successful in doing so, and not for lack of trying and putting forth a genuine effort…?! o,and an interesting fact that came from my friendship search,after coming across Jonathan and David’s story due to it, I wondered if Jesus had a best friend,and found that Jesus as Messiah is considered a type of David as King of Israel and there are parallels in both their stories, thus the disciple John is the only disciple given the special and unique title “the disciple that Jesus loved” and was the only disciple that did not abandon him till the very end and thus was the friend that stuck closer than a brother, while Peter and James are said to have been his other two inner circle intimate friends but not to the degree John was…interestingly the Torah commentators on friendship I read online all said one best friend was key, another important, and three was about all we have time in modern life and as social creatures to devote ourselves to if we are talking about intimate and close friendships and their growth…this led to a search on articles and magazine articles in publications such as Cosmopolitan/Psycholgy Todsy ect all said as far as close friends are concerned three/maybe a fourth long distance one are all we have time for…so thank you, you inspired my search and this is what I found so far this particular time…and this goes without saying, I think EVERYONE would like to consider you a friend, I certainly do…and what woman wouldn’t say you ARE the perfect husband?! An inspiration to us all as far as what a mate should and COULD be, if you follow your own advice that is!!! regards

  8. Having been at a GTG weekend, met Matthew and followed his videos ever since I just have to comment Matthew on how much YOU have grown. Great advice as always but now also that comedy genius. I have found myself rewinding to view again the really funny bits again. Glad you are having fun and helping at the same time.

  9. Another great video topic, Matt! I’ve already given some thought to this a bit and am planning to take golf lessons next month. It’s a skill I’ve been wanting to pick up for awhile and now I’ve got a little added motivation to give it a go. By the way, that is Mandarin you’re speaking here, right? I remember in Seattle you mentioned that you’d studied it. Super impressive!!! ;)

    1. Do you want to be with someone who doesnt like smart girls? I bet those men are very insecure and need women that arent living up to their potential to make them feel better, or they are lying about what they want to seem manly.
      In any case that is my opinion. Dont worry to much about it :)

  10. I really love not to talk about my job or the guys job. But….quite a few just chewing my ears off doing that. If I get asked about my job I say these days…well, I inspire people to plant trees. And that’s what I do in a way. They usually insist asking me what my real job is. Then I usually say politely that I’m off work now and not interested talking about it. I love talking about traveling and how to get along in weird situations abroad and all sorts. So true that people open for random topics are so much more fun to be around with. What do you get excited about life? I love when people get bubblely about life!

    1. Hey Nadine,

      Check out last week’s video, it fits inline with exactly what you’re talking about.
      What excites me in life? Growth.
      Thanks for the comment! Take care : )

      Matt x

  11. So my husband of 2 weeks always likes to talk about work and he’s in financing and I have no idea what he’s talking about I just say ya how nice good for u but he gets frustrated when I don’t understand and get involved which is understandable because to him it makes him think I don’t care so as for that I’m going to try to learn how the business works so thank you for that now I have a question for you Matt , I’m the kinda girl who loves being on time if not early and I get anxiety when I’m late now he likes to be lat minute everything I think most guys are like that but this is something I cannot handle. If we’re supposed to be somewhere 5:30 hell hang out doing nothing and wait till 5:20 to get ready and I’m sitting there waiting for him to be ready and this drives me crazyyyyy how is it that we can compromise , how can I tell him nicely because I’ve tried saying I appreciate it if ….. Haven’t been working this is the way he is and I cannot change him but how can we have this being easier for the both of us
    Thanks Matt

    1. Hello Vicky,

      What my mother used to do when we were small was, when we have to be on time as the whole family, with so many children, she just said 20-30 minutes before the real time appointment have to be, so we all will be ready according to the time she wants us to be ready. And it helps, we don’t have to be late, but we have to wait then, what we don’t like. But he has to be patient to wait for his goal, and that is a very good characteristic of a successful that need to be trained.

    2. Hey Vicky,

      First off, great that you’re taking the effort to learn about his line of work a bit. Let him teach you about it too : )
      Second, when it comes to timing, play to the nature of his manliness. Reinforce the notion that his being on time makes you feel safe, protected, calm, taken care of etc. Simply saying you appreciate it unfortunately doesn’t trigger an innate response in a man.
      Take care lovely : )

      Matt x

  12. This is actually an issue for me.
    I know I’m a very diverse person. I know a little about everything. I went to an international school, etc. I’m afraid that people are a bit scared of me and all the skills I have.
    I’m a very accessible person and generally down to earth, but in my previous relationship I was a ‘godess’ when I just needed someone who could understand my ambition and love of life. Any advice?

    1. I have the same thing!

      As a shy, nerd/geek girl when I was on my teens, knowledge was one of my great assets (I speak 4 languages, I love history, I know a little bit of art, some of my favourites things are cooking and astrophysics).

      Now, I also like doing some sports like playing tennis (and talking about it) and ice skating and skiing.

      Despite that, as most people feel uncomfortable me knowing a lot, I hide some of these from most people.

      So in order to have long term attraction, I just show small parts each time.
      In small doses, it is more elegant.

      1. Thanks! It makes me feel a lot better :D i do that as well i show small pieces of myself, but i feel that i’m holding back. I do this in a lot of situations friends as well.
        (I speak 4 languages as well im good at art, singing, theatre, improv, music i can cook i know people from across the world …my list isnt even finished)
        I am now in a situation where im the odd duck, and i was ashamed of having all these things. I feel like I’m the annoying girl that boasts a lot when i do that.
        I am very grateful to be able to do all these things and i’m happy being the person that i am, just to clarify.
        I’m happy that I can find a friend in you Gabriella!
        Nerdy/geeky girls for the win!
        I guess we both need to share ourselves in bitesize pieces.
        And ee just need to find someone who savours every bite ;)

        A very poetic ending, i know. X

  13. My best friend is American (I’m British) and I really want to be able to talk to him more about his passion for American football. I’ve been a fan for many years, way before I knew him but never really took any notice of the rules so that is the challenge I am setting for myself ahead of this season.

    Men in particular always seem to be stunned when I say that I am passionate about comic books and graphic novels because I don’t think I come across as the stereotypical cartoon geek (but geek I am, even if it’s a secret one lol) but one thing that I’ve never really gotten into is the world of gaming so this is another area that I am going to explore.

    Thanks Matt for giving me the kick up the pants I need to go out there and gain knowledge and new skill sets. It’s going to be fun learning and hopefully it will put me in contact with a whole new set of people and open up my social life even further x

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