She Calls Me Out On National TV, But Watch What Happens Next

Last year I found myself on camera for a TV show – on one of the biggest stages I’d ever been on – in front of a live studio audience…

This clip is going to ‘inoculate’ you for life and have you ready should anyone ever try to embarrass you in front of others.

As a compliment to this video, get the guide that everyone’s been going crazy about…

Click here for my brother’s expose ‘The First Five Minutes’ >>

 

 

 

 

 

 

446 Responses to She Calls Me Out On National TV, But Watch What Happens Next

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  1. Alicia says:

    Matthew, Thank you so much .. this is extremely beneficial to me .. I often have to deal with negative comments and arguments from family – I will be trying your techniques on them now. You really have so much profound insights and advice to offer.I really appreciate how you don’t just tell us things like “you need to have more self-confidence” but you actually tell us how to… that one was another … dare I say, life-changing lesson for me. Again, thank you so very much !

  2. Jennifer says:

    A fascinating & valuable communication.

  3. Jan says:

    You are the Man, Matthew!!

    Yes, I love this kind of video. More please *waving* =)

  4. kimia says:

    awsome you’re the best.I like this kind of videos.

  5. Holly says:

    Hi Matt

    I just wanted to say that you dealt with that situation really well.
    I have a tendency to act now and think later so I would’ve probably told her where to go!
    Your response was professional and to the point, it showed me how I should deal with confrontation (something I try to avoid because of how I react to it!)
    Thanks for the video!!
    X

  6. Melissa says:

    Yes more videos like this!!

  7. Sara says:

    Thank you for taking apart the details of the confrontation. Humans are such interesting animals & being prepared helps us deal better when the worst is being done to us or attempted . Here’s hoping I can follow your lead next time my boss confronts me!

    This reiterates the idea of whoever talks first loses- so by letting them finish talking you are letting them get it all out & hopefully building a succinct answer that can maintain everyone’s dignity & still drive the point home.

    Thank you so much for all you do- I am learning so much!

  8. Li says:

    Thank you for this Matthew. I love this so much! “Always let them finish talking”… and “never try to prove something to someone” is what I got from this

  9. Ellie says:

    Brilliant! As a teacher it’s useful to know how to deal with people trying to belittle someone. It’s great to have video examples of how to do things too. Thank you!

  10. Erin b says:

    Love love love this series. Keep it up!

  11. Justina says:

    Found myself in similar situation at work recently, found this video encouraging to stay calm,less emotional and get ready before another coming one.
    Thank you
    this setting of pause and explain is great job,thank you
    justina

  12. Marina Casadei says:

    Amazing video and the given lesson!!!

    Sure videos like this one, where we can see teory and practice together are really helpful!!!

    xxx
    Marina

  13. Elena says:

    Hi Matt,

    This kind of videos is amazing. I think it would be really great to get some lessons from you on how to deal with conflicts and “difficult” people. I’m sure you have plenty of knowledge on this topic.

    Thanks,
    Elena

  14. Diane says:

    Really great Matthew!! A very interesting breakdown of a difficult situation!! Wow!! Thanks!! Would love to see more like this.

  15. Skye says:

    Hey Matt,

    I would comment on every post you do but everyone would sound pretty monotonous and boring to you because they would all read something like” Yes, Matt, I love this post! Thank you!” but today I wanted to say it anyway and also tell you that I MEAN IT SINCERELY. I LOVE your posts and I sincerely THANK YOU for posting them. You are making a tangible, significant and positive difference in my life (and that of many I have no doubt) every week. I have bought and read your book, I’ve bought and done your programme and I will certainly buy any new stuff you release. My love life is going great and so is my life in general but no matter how good life is, your clips will ALWAYS still help me because I will forever want to improve as a person so how could I ever stop listening to you (and your brother!) :)

    Thank you so much. I hope one day you’ll come to Cape Town and do a seminar here. I’d love to say thank you face to face.

    Bring on the 31st July for your new stuff and wishing you continued success for many many years to come!

    Skye

  16. Rachel says:

    I’m loving these kind of blogs Matt! You really should do them more often!

  17. mari says:

    This is awesome!! I always thought people who’s got some special talent or
    born ability can do this kind of things. Now, I got your brother’s guide on how you do this and read them all, but I still feel like, ” OK, so HOW do you prepare beforehand ? WHAT kind of things you have to think about to get yourself ready for any kind of adversity ? ” I’d appreciate if you could do a more in-depth training like this for people like me who think of themselves as less talented in this area.

    Thanks , xoxo

  18. cecelia cross says:

    I need to learn how to do this. I would have interrupted her and found fault. I’m trying very hard in all my relationships to listen, not bite there heads off, and more thinking, respect to my children and family members. I’m starting to take steps back and really think before I say items. This helped me a lot because almost all my life people have found fault with me, and I feel like I have no feelings or such. The calming part and listening is getting a little better but I know I have some things I must learn.

  19. Azure says:

    This was unbelievable. I do not know how this show didn’t flourish with incredible drama like this. Side note: Giuliana’s reactions were priceless!

    I absolutely love this kind of content. I am the kind of person whose mind goes blank when I am in a situation like this. Beyond watching your genius response, it would be super helpful to give a few more examples *and* scripts of what you could say in that situation. Instead of simply pointing out that a boss or family member might do this to you, actually flush out a scenario *including* a classy and effective response. I know you’d never be able to cover all the infinite possibilities, but the more scripts you give, the easier it is to expound on those ourselves. You have a definite way with words–it’s an absolute gift–and those of us who are tongue-tied get immeasurable value out of hearing how you’d phrase things diplomatically. Love it. Thank you.

  20. randa says:

    Very very VERY powerful lesson right here, keeping the cools when being ‘attacked’ is a situation that not only requires preparation but a ggggreat amount of dicipline. I love how you broke this down and will be impatiently waiting for more!!!
    Thank you once more!!
    Xxx
    R

  21. Fritha says:

    Love it! After attending your courses I have applied your advice to my love life and my business. I no longer waste time with the wrong type of guys and my business is becoming a huge success!

  22. Noosh says:

    Out of all the video’s I watch from you Matt, this one was the most useful for me.

    My job demand a lot of interactions with people who are older than me and I fall in a situation like this alot where they don’t like the idea of having a younger female manager and trying to put me down in meetings. I really liked your reaction. Very classy.

  23. Elaine says:

    Although I’m going to repeat what almost everybody here said already, YEEEEEES, i love when you show with practical examples how to handle… stuff.
    Countless times I think to myself, later, “I should have said this!…” to someone… I’m getting more witty lately, which helps, but I still need some practice to know what to do/ say while something nasty like this happens! Unfortunately just a cold stare, most of times, doesn’t make people be quiet… =/

  24. Shawnelle says:

    Definitely want more on human dynamics. It’s golden. Cheers!

  25. Bailey Crowder says:

    This was fantastic! Can’t wait for more!

  26. nicky says:

    Matt – this is totally classy. Thank you for demonstrating how to deal with public put downs in such a dignified way. So impressive that you didn’t argue or try to make her look stupid, but stated your points with the intent of wanting to help. Love the tips on letting someone finish, pausing and planning for defensive attacks so that you can explain your points without getting personal or emotional. Thank you so much – I think you are an outstanding role model! Nicky

  27. Cintia says:

    Loved it!

    Keep’em coming!

    Thanks!!!

  28. Cat says:

    How to own the room by keeping cool. Loved that. x

  29. Mesha says:

    Hello Matthew,

    I love this style of videos, it has helped me learn a lot about how to interact with people in different situations!

    Keep doing what you do best.

  30. Mandy says:

    Hi Guys,

    Stephen: Amazing writing on the 6 tips on Owning the First 5 Minutes document. Keep up the great work!

    Matthew: Awesome job with your latest videos. I am impressed how you keep challenging yourself and stepping out of your comfort zone. Well done! I also liked when you co-hosted on the Marilyn Denis show in Toronto, when you got Marilyn and her best friends to agree to put your techniques into practice in a social environment. I thought that was insightful and genius. I believe everyone would love to see more videos like that when you put your teachings into a real social environment.

    Jameson: Keep up the amazing video skills.

    Thanks guys and keep up the amazing work.

    Cheers,

    Mandy

  31. Shev says:

    Hi Matt,
    Really loved the concept of breaking down the rationale behind what you did during that interaction /confrontation! Why you tried to not show your reactions and allowed her to finish her attacking without adding any fuel to it. ( and how challenging was that with the gasps and murmuring of the audience!) And not going into defensive mode to try to disprove her. I also liked how you prefaced your comments with how you were not going to allow this to become personal and then went in with what you had prepared.
    Really enjoyed this format and hope you will continue to do these types of videos as well!
    Kindest Regards,
    Shev x

  32. Smeeta says:

    Matt,

    What I loved most about this video was what you said in the end… Lets not bash her or defend me.

    Total class act in my books.

    These kind of step by steps by demonstrating is worth so much more than reading books. Your USP is your communication style – broader than love life and I’d love to see you expand to real life scenarios that call for confrontations, one you are invested in.

    As they say in Hindi – Dhanyavaad :) (Thank you)

    Cheers,

    Smeeta

  33. Anel says:

    Just when I thought you were done amazing me you keep on pulling rabbits out of your hat!

    Big Fan!

  34. Angela says:

    This was so valuable, Matt. Thank you.

    My mom and her siblings are undergoing an unpleasant estate battle. I was very close to an aunt, my mom’s sister-in-law. Her husband is crazy – wants everything for himself so of course the siblings do not agree with him. When my mom greets her in social situations, she is cold as stone and doesn’t even look at her. This aunt always has a sour expression and has a negative outlook (her husband fools around, but easier for her to blame everyone and anyone else except her own husband, right?) My question is, if I see her in a social gathering, will I just greet her and say, “good evening” even if she’ll completely ignore me, or should I ignore her too? Haha, can’t imagine you’d advise the latter.

    Love to you, Stephen and your lovely Mum. xxx

  35. Alicia says:

    Hi Matt,

    This is brilliant! Thank you for sharing this insight with us. Your brother’s First Five Minutes was amazing too. Thank you once again for over delivering for us.
    I love how you talk about dating and also how to be more powerful in our careers and personal lives. You can call me a self help junkie, which I actually put into practice and aim to inspire my friends and family in their lives too. I’ve learned so much from you!

    Looking forward to seeing more!

    Best wishes,
    Alicia

    ps- I went to your LA seminar a few months ago.
    pps- I also have your book. :)
    ppps- and your DVDs.
    k i’m done.

  36. julia says:

    Matt,
    that was awesome!

  37. L says:

    Matt,

    I absolutely enjoyed this video. It was brilliantly insightful regarding human behavior. I like the play by play and breakdown of how to intelligently and healthily handle confrontation.

    Thank you.

    L

  38. Erin says:

    Hi Matt,

    This was brilliant. I’m really enjoying these videos – please keep them coming!

    Best,
    ~Erin

  39. Kelly says:

    Hi, Matt.

    Brilliant content with application in all aspects of life. I really appreciate your willingness to share these slices of your life so openly with all of us. Even better? You invite us to drop into deeper ways of being and relating by example, which is what life is all about, methinks.

    Cheers, Kelly

  40. Kristine "The Luv Chick" says:

    This was wonderful to watch Matthew. The segment play-by-play was tremendously insightful!

  41. Thameena J. Giturwa says:

    Hi Matt.. Thanks! It’s like you put up a mirror and showed her exactly what she is, and we need that sometimes to keep us grounded. I love how you handled that. So many times I’ve argued when I could have just stayed calm and waited to intelligently respond. Yeah silence really can be more powerful than reactive words and actions. Thank you again. :) I’d like you to post more scenarios like this. And thank you so much for what you’re doing to help people! God Bless! Xoxo

  42. Ersilia Tarantino says:

    Hey Matt, Thanks so much for this. An inspiring way to help us understand how to see others and to stay in our own power. Love what you are doing, keep it up as I get so much out of it.

  43. Erica says:

    Hey Matt, i definitely love this video. very educative. I’m glad you took the time to do something different other than love life videos. Ofcause i want to advance in my love life but also in other areas in my life and this definitely helps guide me on how to respond to certain difficult situations i might face or currently am facing. Thank you, i’m expecting more now. :)

  44. Grisel says:

    Hi Matt,

    I want to thank you for providing us with this brilliant and valuable information to all of us. I have learned so much from all of your videos. We will all love to see more videos like this that also teach us to be better communicators and how to help us deal with different life situations and life struggles like depression, anti-social, low self esteem etc. I just can’t get enough of all this stuff Matt. You got me hooked!! I love it!!!

    I liked how you dealt with that awkward incident. It was very clever of you to be prepared for what you felt was coming by reading back her own quotes. Also, liked the way how you broke down the steps that you did to deal with this situation.

    How would you deal with a similar Situations if your boss who has more years in the work force than you begins to humiliate or embarrass you in front of others? I have been in several situations in the past at my last job where my boss (the owner of the company) literally screamed his lungs out at me and others for something so meaningless. Even though I felt my blood boiling from anger, I remained calm. I din’t know how to defend myself or what to say. This happens to me often. I’m not as fast as you to think what to say to someone. I felt angry inside and helpless because I didn’t know how to deal with a situation like that. I knew if I argued with him, things will probably get worst. Due to his obnoxious dis-respectful behavior, I decided to quit that job. I was not going to allow any person disrespect me that way since I’m a high value women and will not settle for less.

    Matt, please continue to make more videos like this. They make a difference in all of us.

    Thanks

    Grisel

  45. Maria says:

    Hi Matthew,

    I was just curious to know if you have heard of William Ury? He wrote “Getting Past No” (negotiating your way from confrontation to cooperation) and co-wrote “Getting to Yes” (negotiating agreement without giving in). I had to read these books when I was in university in my negotiation/conflict resolution class. We had to do a lot of role playing in class which helped a lot to practice the principles: separate the people from the problem and focus on interests, not positions. I found it really helpful to practice with friends where we would create a situation and do some role reversal.

    Another book you might have heard of too, which I love, love – is by Vincent Ryan Ruggiero – Beyond Feelings (A guide to critical thinking). It’s one of my favourites and I often go back to it.

    Anyway I just wanted to share these with you in case you haven’t come across these books.

    I so appreciate all you’re doing. Have a great day.

    Maria

  46. kish says:

    Hi Matt

    This was brilliant! I loved how you dealt with the situation. You cleverly put her in her place and then proceeded to diffuse and soften the tension by being clear about what you were really trying to do from a place of goodwill. I liked that you did NOT offer her an apology or say things like “oh I’m sorry if my comment hurt you” or any defense.

    Although you were verbally non-reactive, your body language did show some discomfort (understandably) and negativity (the hand wave, the almost eye roll). As you mentioned yourself, it would be even more powerful to not show even the slightest discomfort physically. Just coolly, calmly looking at her straight in the eyes, head titled with a hint of curiosity about what stunt she would pull next is enough. I have seen some people do this and it is very powerful.

    And KUDOS for “thanks for proving my point”. Epic.

    I agree with you about always remaining calm when under attack and not bothering to defend yourself. That is ultimate confidence. As I have grown older I have learned to stay calm under attack which happens often, especially when people get very personal.

    However, I do not have your kind of wit and I’m always short of comebacks like these. I think of them too late. If I were you I would have said something along the lines of….well this show is about your dating skills, we can discuss my coaching credentials another time and proceeded to discuss her date etc. Not half as interesting/witty as what you did.

    Anyway, I’ll remember your comment forever and hope I can use it with your blessings:)

    How did you develop the skill to come up with witty remarks so fast? Can you do a video on that? Sure, it can come with practice…but how?

    Also, please do more videos like this. These are life skills that will translate into more success even in our love lives and many other areas. I totally see you evolving into a complete life coach rather than just a dating guru.

  47. Jana says:

    Brilliant and eloquent Matt, even if you are a an inexperienced, self-proclaimed, guru youngster! :)

  48. Jenn says:

    Love this format! Great way to learn by using a live example, then hearing your reasoning / explaination. It’s like being an eye witness to your lessons. Great work!

  49. Kerie says:

    Matt This was so helpful and what a novel idea to break down the situation. I got more of this clip that I can tangibly use as opposed to just reading about how to handle confrontation. I watch your YT vids and you are one of the most insightful people I’ve come across. I feel like your content and character has single-handedly been the most influential on my journey in the last 4 months ive been following you. On that note my weakness is the battle in my mind. Ill say im not going to let this or that affect me (I guess its easy to say when your in a sane frame of mind) but when things heat up..someone says something that I find disrespectful etc I instantly get emotional . then the ironic thing is at the end of it all im not even focus on what was said or done to me im just beating myself up over how I handled it what I said or the personality change I allowed someone to gravitate me toward. I always thought it was weaker not to “check” or put someone in their place when they try to discredit you but through this play by play I see that the non reactive response and as u put it making the biggest statement with least amount of words I see you owned it. guess the thing I need to check is not the other person it is my EGO because you sure showed how confidence involves putting the ego to the side. im going to try this. that’s what I love about your advice ive found I can use them inmy everyday life. this is off sunject but u did a video about being more approachable and that day and everyday after ive made a conscious effort to do as you suggested…making eye contact smiling engaging in small talk and not so focused in my own world that I miss out of real life connections not even being aware of all the potential to meet good people whether male or female. I could go on and on about how ive incorporated your methods but I’ll spare you. Thank you for being you because it’s helping me be a better version of me. I love anything and everything related to self help/self awareness and learning about people and why we do what we do the driving forces both consciously and unconscious..it drives my interests and analysis of everything so needless to say im taking in all your nuggets of wisdom. I have right now on my nightstand thinks and grow rich, 7 habit of highly effect people and total self confidence by Robert Anthony and while I love those books I would rather watch u!

  50. Jill says:

    I finally got the chance to watch this and it reminded me of how I was thinking How in the world are they going to edit 10 hours of taping into a 2 hour show. Anyhoo, we know how that ended. I have noticed in my life when I am most comfortable in my own skin is when I am able to be calm and act instead of react. One person who was always such a great example of that to me was my older brother not so much when we were kids but as we have gotten older very rarely would I see him lose his cool. I have to be honest though when this happened I was sitting in the front row and me and my girlfriend looked at each other and just said Oh, he’s pissed but you did handle yourself very well. I also learned how old you are and I was surprised.

  51. Catherine Angel says:

    Matt, I loved this! It s nice to have a concrete example that you can walk us through. Seeing it in “real life” (real reality T.V.? LOL) adds a new dimension to your videos, as you are not just telling us the stories – we are actually seeing and experiencing the emotions of both the people involved in the conflict. It shows very powerfully how keeping one’s cool can help diffuse a situation. You put her in her place, stopping her response from affecting the audience’s opinion of you, but then gently reminded her that you are not her enemy, giving her an out to back down. Gracefully done, and a great model for us!

  52. Rachel says:

    Hi Matthew,

    This is a bit off topic but I remember watching a video of you where you discussed “Creators” versus “Waiters.” Truly enjoyed that talk and just wanted to ask you, as you had referred to both categories as “guys” or “he,” whether you intentionally excluded “her” or “girls.” I say that, not as a feminist (as I’m not), but as someone who is a “Creator” but I find that this very type of personality turns “Alpha” males off and I end up attracting betas, or “Waiters.” :S

    Thanks, and keep up the great work!

    Rachel xo

  53. Fadzillah says:

    Matt,
    What you have put up is very interesting. I have a lot to learn. I an a teacher and I know I can really make use of this and more of the similar content. I have been through where a co worker was constantly not happy and criticizing my work. I have voiced it out to family and friends and at time I was doubtful whether what I did was wrong or right. I never replied to his comments though but I got worked up later.

    Now, I am learning from you and keep learning.

    Thank you Matt.

  54. Ilona says:

    Matt, thank you for making feel more confident about the mindset and lifestyle I’m holding on to in my life: most importantly, common sense and truth, stickig to my own words and actually doing what I’ve said, not just saying smth and then doing something totally different… I hate when people say sth in your face and then try to swerve from their own words! It drives me crazy. I felt put off so many times by this just because I tried to defend myself saying: “hey, you said… ” I hope that this video brings common sense to many people and I hope one day most people would be sticking to the meaning they’re putting into words!!!

    Thank you, you’re awesome!)

    • Matthew Hussey says:

      Thanks Ilona!

      What you are really talking about is known as ‘congruence’. It’s a very powerful word, which in this context essentially means that what we are on the inside is consistent with what we are portraying on the outside. Great observation.

      Matthew x

  55. cindy says:

    I like that you’re branching out into broader areas. I think this is a fun change to incorporate and would like to see more!

    • Matthew Hussey says:

      Thanks Cindy,

      I’ve really enjoyed talking to you about different subjects recently. Of course, what a lot of people forget is that you can’t separate the love life advice I give from these broader topics, nor these topics from your love life. They are all connected skill sets which determine your ability to manage your behaviour, your emotions, and your influence over others. In a sense we are not dealing with different subjects, just getting more perspective on the same puzzle!

      Matthew x

  56. Faizah says:

    Thank you very much Matt. I highly appreciate that you are sharing your personal techniques, this increased my respect for you. You don’t pretend to be someone who’s not. You are showing your humanity, witch is why many people LOVE your articles and videos.

    This video is one of my top favorites so far.. simply because we’re seeing what you’re talking about “in action”. Please keep these kinds of videos and topics coming. We need such an advice in real life, and this will help us so much in our love-life as well.

    My respect to you,
    Faizah

    • Matthew Hussey says:

      Thanks Faizah. I think we see too many people in the media who never really let you behind the curtain, and it makes it hard to learn from them. Sometimes the only way to learn is for someone to show you what is going on beneath the surface, or the preparation that goes INTO what they do. We are too used to people only showing us the most impressive parts of themselves and never really discovering how they got there or what we can do to replicate their success.

      My aim is to give you the details that help!

      Matthew x

  57. Anna says:

    *Holds out bowl, in a manner befitting Oliver Twist* Please, sirs, can we have some more? :)

    As someone who shares the same interest in interpersonal dynamics as Matt, Stephen and (I’m sure) many other subscribers, this has been fascinating. It’s one thing to study a theory; it’s quite another to see it in action.

    Along with your ‘First Five Minutes’ exposé, it’s a reminder that the strongest energy in the room generally wins and (particularly evident in the radio interview) how, through the self-mastery generated by those 6 steps, changing someone’s emotional state (generating laughter or connection etc) adds further to your impact.

    My only ponderment *wonders if that’s a real word; shrugs, carries on* is whether you, Matt, were aware of how many ‘always’ you used in your feedback to the girl in question? While her response illustrated your point quite spectacularly, the sensed repetition of what is often a term of generalisation, perhaps inflamed the more argumentative aspect of her personality. Just a thought *shrug* :)

    Keep up the good work, guys :)

    • Matthew Hussey says:

      Best beginning to a comment ever!

      I think you make a valid point. Although I believe she probably would have attacked me at this stage in the game no matter how I framed criticism, one of my pet hates is the over use of a term like ‘always’ to describe something that doesn’t warrant it (and few things do). Very good observation there Anna. If I could go back, I would change the wording.

      Keep watching and commenting, I love having intelligent people on my blog.

      Matthew x

      • Anna says:

        *Tips brim of hat; gentle wink* You’re welcome although, given the shock I felt when I discovered you blogged a response to one of my last comments, I’ve fought a little shy of swinging by… ;)

        I’ve just devoured The Road Less Travelled, as a direct result of your London book launch recommendation; it has resonated powerfully, and consolidated beautifully, so much for me. Thank you.

        I’m left feeling curious, though, about if and how the final chapter on Grace manifests itself, for you? Beyond your Orestes moment after the school disco, of course ;)

        Could it be that Stephen’s prompting to ‘share your secrets’, and the vulnerability you may feel, are signs to step into a greater calling, to share your greater gift? Inspiring and modelling for others the discipline and courage it takes to rewrite the story we tell ourselves about ourselves, unlocking potential and creating tremendous freedom and choice?

        Who knows; perhaps relationship coaching will turn out to be the doorway to what you’re really here to share with us.

        Not that I’m envisioning a new book and much-loved TED talk, of course… ;)

        Anna x

  58. Nikky says:

    Amazing guys. Just amazing. Speechless.

  59. Sofie says:

    I defenetly Want more of these kind of videos!

  60. Melina says:

    Wow, I love this video.
    Countless of times we find ourselves in these situations that bring upon, powerful emotional responses. The answer is so simple in this video, I will definitely be using this technique for future encounters!

    Thank you for sharing Matt!

    • Matthew Hussey says:

      You’re welcome Melina. Sometimes the right technique is so simple. The hard part is knowing the right technique for the right moment.

      x

  61. Stella says:

    Matt, I really really love everything what you are saying, and I normally speak English fine, but I don’t know why it is impossible to understand your brothers articles in English. You two have been made of different wood I think. You are simple and clear and he seems to be more angry and the energy is not so nice. English is not my first language, maybe that’s why it is hard to read – your brother is maybe too smart for me :p

    I am sure you both want to do amazing stuff and I am very glad you are connected with so many people and teaching great stuff.
    Something about loving people…

  62. Manon says:

    It’s so amazing to see the temperatures rise on the blog. The reactions on here are a real joy to read!
    This week’s material was excellent for two particular reasons:
    1) You guys clearly bridged theory and practice i.e. breaking down a visual scenario and the radio-expose. I think you guys hit the sweet-spot between the theoretical and practical world. Brilliant! Stephen, I love the effort you put into all of your work. We should have a coffee together to discuss more topics.
    2) Choosing to discuss an area that’s close to my heart e.g. conflicts, debates, arguments etc… Thank you for that Matt. This is an area I believe to be of the utmost importance, because we all crave to be understood – not initially to be liked.
    But when you care: “The longest distance between two people is misunderstanding.” – unknown (I wished I could give credit to the author as it’s so true! I learned this the hard way and that’s ok.) Back then, I remember starting off with watching debates on night programs to understand and learn (including body language) how to effectively and constructively navigate through tense situations without them escalating. All I’ve researched and learned so far has been immensely helpful for my career and life in general, but when it comes to family conflicts, I feel like the progress we’ve made so far is not worthy of the love we share for each other. I know that you and Stephen would be amazing at giving me and others more of the missing pieces. So please do not hold back and stay as funny as you are, your humour is right up my street! (You too Stephen, I laughed so much because I couldn’t stop thinking of a “cereal man” meme scenario, while reading your expose – Of course you would know, you guys had the same cereals for 18 years but ever thought that it could’ve been the milk? :p )

    Genuine hugs,
    Manon

    • Stephen Hussey says:

      Thanks Manon! I’ve missed hearing from you on here! Appreciate your lovely comments.

      Hope we can do more much more bringing theory and practice together now it’s had a such a huge impact on people.

      Ahh, the milk. So that’s what I was missing all these years. Wondered why Matt always had his own special jug!

      Genuine hugs back,

      Steve

  63. Denise says:

    Matt!

    This is one of the best formats for understanding and adapting the techniques you’ve brought up here. Showing us the footage and seeing how you chose to react in the moment and why makes this the best video I believe you’ve created yet. I loved the blog post that your brother Stephen put out, and I can’t tell you how helpful I’ve found the latest bits of content on your site. It’s so encouraging to see the behind the scenes work because it helps show that with the right preparation it is possible to develop the same understanding of human nature and the same grace in dealing with a variety of situations. Please continue to put out content like this! I am an avid reader and member of get the guy but I only comment once in a while, but with this I absolutely loved it and I felt the need to let you know just how great it was! So great stuff Matt, loved it!

  64. Caroline Sofiatti says:

    Thank you, Matt! I definitely think that this is useful to my life. I’ve become increasingly interested in human behavior primarily because of your work. Through the context of romantic relationships, you have taught me simple and effective lessons in human interaction and I’d love to expand that into interacting with other people (friends, work colleges, bosses, employees …)

    Thanks again!

    Caroline

    • Matthew Hussey says:

      You made my day Caroline. That’s exactly what I wanted this site to be. Not just a place where people can get help with their love life, but a hub for techniques that would give them power in every area of their lives. It’s all connected after all!

      Thanks for taking the time to comment,

      Matthew x

  65. anne says:

    Without a doubt. I appreciate it! Seeing a person speak her mind directly and confrontive and seeing a decent response. Surprising and reassuring.
    Thanks,
    Anne

  66. Agnes says:

    Brilliant!!!
    Love the new video style.
    I’ve been using this technique in my personal life for the last 2-3 years.
    I’m so grateful that I was able to develop it in the very simple way – by a daily meditation. My heart is melting when I see the positive vibe spreading..xx

  67. Fiona says:

    This is so powerful Matt! I am just so grateful! Your blog is one of the best things I ever came across. I will remember your genuine tips and keep practicing. Hope I can get at least 20% of your charisma. :)

    Thanks a lot!

  68. Maru says:

    Matthew Hussey you´re genius! Thank you for sharing your life experiences.

    Love,
    Maru

  69. Laura says:

    This was brilliant, I loved it! When I looked at Matt I just saw radiant confidence. It was inspiring. I don’t know what I would’ve said in Matt’s situation.

    • Matthew Hussey says:

      Well now you do know ; )

      The beauty of a technique like this is that once you know it it will pay off for the rest of your life.

      Thanks Laura,

      Matthew x

  70. Tosha says:

    Thank you for breaking down this video. Incredibly helpful on standing up for yourself with grace and professionalism!

    • Matthew Hussey says:

      Well it came on the back of handling situations like this with no grace or professionalism. As I say a lot to my clients, I’ve made all the embarrassing mistakes and learned the best ways of doing things so that you don’t have to!

      Thanks Tosha

      M x

  71. Pam Peters says:

    I really enjoyed this clip and your commentary. I would very much enjoy similar videos and your thoughts. You always give me something to ponder!

  72. Amy says:

    Matt I simply want to say thank you so much, I thought this was fascinating and such excellent advice. Thank you for giving so much more than just relationship advice, it is very generous of you.

    • Matthew Hussey says:

      Thankyou for your thanks! Your appreciation is certainly an energy boost in making me want to create more.

      x

  73. Amelie says:

    Actually whilst you did a good job here in showing the world your reaction to a difficult situation, I think it would be more interesting if you followed it up by finding the girl and asking the girl why she reacted the way she did? What made her blow so hot yet remain so composed in the process? I would bet money of the fact that it was when you mentioned the world ‘nurturing’. It’s a very powerful word for women. If you tell a woman she is not the nurturing kind (not that you did that directly, but it was strongly implied) it’s almost like you’re telling her she would be a terrible mother. However, we never saw the rest of the show. And context is everthing…

    • Matthew Hussey says:

      Hey Amelie,

      You should check out the rest of the episode. They are available on Itunes and this one is called ‘Ernesto finds love’. Then you’d be able to check out the context and it might shed a little more light on the situation for you. There are 10 more things I would have loved to do with this video, but it was already pretty long as is compared to my normal videos!

      Matthew x

  74. Leesa Rawhide says:

    Thank You !!

  75. Rados says:

    Wonderful Matt, for me you are a fantastic human being and I feel so lucky to have the chance to watch your videos, all of them are pearls of wisdom, especially this one. Thank you Stephen for your input too. Matt and Stephen, I really need your advice. I do not know how to handle my relationship with my son. Yesterday was the last straw and I feel like stopping my communication with him until he finds inner peace and learns how to treat me with respect. He constantly takes his bad mood out on me and yesterday when I called the same scenario happened for no reason. I hung up and when he sent a text trying to justify his behaviour I did not reply. I am a very patient person and I do not believe in burning bridges especially in the family, but I feel that I have to show somehow that this kind of communication is not acceptable. All I want is a loving relationship with my son who is great when he is in a good disposition. Could you please help? Thank you and please accept my admiration again for all the great insights you are offering to all of us.

    • Matthew Hussey says:

      Hey Rados!

      Thanks for your kind words.

      Regarding your son, it’s important that he feels your love in spite of your disapproval of his communication style. In families (especially parent child relationships) we don’t want to feel that love is conditional. By showing him that ultimately you love him and are his team mate, you have the best chance of him wanting to contribute to the relationship too. e.g. “I love you, and I don’t want to be someone who gets angry with you all the time, that’s not who I am. I just don’t like the way you communicate because…but we’re a team so we’ll figure it out”.

      Hope this helps! I’m doing my best without a more specific context. Keep watching the blog Rados.

      M x

  76. Agostinha Jacinto says:

    :) FINALLYYYYY!!!!

    I always ask if you could coach LIFE, not only love life…! AND FINALLY, this clip…dont get me wrong..but i love this scene…i saw when it came out the episode, and i search so many time on youtube to send to my sister to show how you handle it so graceful…IT WAS A GREAT Example…LOVE IT! :) thanks for doing this now!

  77. sam says:

    Completely got your idea & looking forward to the other videos in which you are going to help us by telling more techniques.

  78. Teona says:

    Hey Mathew , I enjoyed watching this video . It helped me become more aware of myself in situations like this and learn how not let affect me people’s judgment. You provided us a wonderful example of how to turn to the person instead of self defense.I would like more videos such as this .

    • Matthew Hussey says:

      Thanks Teona. It’s like you are using someone’s own energy against them, rather than fight it with your own energy.

      Matthew x

  79. Eve says:

    Hey Matt
    Keep this kind of video content coming! All tips on Life itself is handy!
    Eve

  80. Mahima says:

    Loved this blog Matt. Love to get more of such stuff. thank you!

    • Matthew Hussey says:

      Thanks Mahima. After the responses here on the blog how could I not consider doing more of this!

      Matthew x

  81. Ana says:

    I know you said not to get personal, but I simply must. Are you really very young? You don’t speak like it or act like it. You definitely seem much wiser – and your looks are timeless. Now, about the experience. Goaded for the sake of TV or not – I believe in taking advice because it’s right, and impacts my life positively. Sometimes advice comes to you from the strangest sources. We would end up compromising ourselves negatively, IMHO, if we only listened to advice from the old and wise. From the mouths of babes, as the saying goes…and you, young man, are a definite babe! ;) xx (Hehe see what I did there)

    • Matthew Hussey says:

      haha that was a nice line to finish the comment ; )

      I am younger than some and older than others, at the end of the day the only thing I want to be rated on is the quality and effectiveness of the words I say. If I were 90 years old but spouting nonsense I wouldn’t expect people to take my words seriously. Conversely I wouldn’t want anyone to dismiss good advice because subjectively I don’t seem old enough.

      Matthew x

      • Ana says:

        Several people here have commented that this example will help them not just in their love lives, but in professional areas and family matters as well. Looks like you’ve (inadvertently?) stumbled upon another opportunity and a way to grow your USP! *clap clap*
        Plus I think it’s awesome that you and your brother take time to reply to every comment. It makes you so much more personable, so much more human…easier to relate to. One more *clap clap* for good measure!
        Hats off.

  82. Linda says:

    This content is uber-practical & on point to demonstrate human reaction & behaviour, thanks, Matt!!!

  83. Ruwani says:

    I really enjoy the videos where you analyze this sort of interaction. I remember watching the video you did a while back of Russell Brand’s interview, and the play by play breakdown really made it easier to replicate this type of analysis in real life. I remember using those very subtle, but powerful techniques to disarm a woman who was being rude to me all evening. It shut her right up! So yes Matt, this format of coaching is very valuable and will be effective.

    • Matthew Hussey says:

      it’s so funny you say that; the Russell Brand piece was one of my favourites ever. Thanks for being a long time reader of the blog Ruwani.

      x

  84. Gwendolyn says:

    You’re absolutely right. When you react to people and their negative emotions, you give them power over you. I believe you handled the situation flawlessly.

    However, if I may make one observation… as you watch yourself on the video, I noticed that you are extremely hard on yourself. Almost too critical.

    I realize that the point of the video was to demonstrate to the audience how to handle a response if faced with a similar situation. But in doing so, you judged yourself.

    My point of this comment is to let you know, you are imperfectly perfect. Your reaction is humanistic and as much as I admire your desire to improve and hone your skills, please do not ever lose that genuineness you possess.

    Best,
    Gwendolyn :)

    • Matthew Hussey says:

      I appreciate your concern Gwendolyn, but one must be self-aware and self-critical if one is to point out things that others could change. I would be a hypocrite if I wasn’t prepared to admit my ow flaws. That said, I have learned to self criticise from a compassionate place. And that is key to maintaining self confidence.

      Thanks!

      Matthew x

  85. Maya says:

    Wow this is amazing stuff!
    I have never seen anything like this and I’ve never seen anyone give tips in that detail on a subject like this before.
    I’t a whole new way of looking at situations, for me.
    Havign said that I still love your dating advice and really hope that you don’t stop with that.

    • Stephen Hussey says:

      There’s still lots more on dating to come, Maya! But I love this new direction Matt’s taking things as well.

      Steve x

  86. Danielle says:

    Matt, I really enjoy this video and the guide (thanks Stephen) Communication was something I have struggled with and now I feel it is one of my stronger attributes. So thanks for your other videos, they have helped me, not to react emotionally and control my responses, to stressful situations.

  87. Sil says:

    Great lesson on how to handle negative situations. I learned a while back to not interrupt a person who wants to communicate to you a laundry list of criticisms in one conversation. Eventually they run out of words and in all fairness will allow you to speak but like you said it is critical that your body language does not communicate a reactive attitude as well, that is unless you want a fight on your hands. What I haven’t mastered is the ability to respond, like you did, succinctly and to the point. I tend to get bogged down with “hurt feelings” especially when this comes at me out of nowhere (no warning sign). I appreciate you sharing your experiences and breaking them down for us. Find it very useful. Thank you!

  88. Jaagii says:

    Very insightful! Thanks Matt :)

  89. olive says:

    Signed up for your emails the past 2 years and never read any of them. This is the first video that attracted my attention and it is indeed very insightful. Looking forward to see more of these videos.

    Thank you!

  90. Ekayani says:

    Masterful handling of the situation.

  91. Lindsey Niles says:

    GREAT POST! This is applicable and informative on so many levels! I am a dog trainer, this technique demonstrates alpha behavior at its finest!! Thank you for being you, Matthew.

  92. Marta says:

    Great stuff, Matt.
    Of course I want you to continue with educating us on how to get the power back in whatever challenging interactions we can find ourselves in.
    You are amazing every time.
    Your new (about 2 months old fan).
    You blew me away first time I stumbled upon you on YouTube without knowing who you are & couldn’t glue myself off the screen for few hours…luckily it was Friday evening. Can’t think of a better way… almost to spend a Friday evening.
    Never came across any video from you that ceased to amaze me!

  93. Heather says:

    Hi love the video and would love to learn more about human behavior. There’s so many books and such online, but I would love to learn from you when the circumstances are optimal to do so. =)

  94. Laura says:

    I really love that you are doing this, I watched She Calls Me Out On National TV and expose ‘The First Five Minutes’ these tips are very useful. I have had situations where I had not reacted but I see one problem when confronted like that with on she called me out on National TV. You wrote down her exact words great but in situations like with family and friends etc we do not carry pen and paper and one can denied what they say I did not say that or your making that up, I never said that you heard wrong etc. So my question would be what then? how would one counter that? I would also like to say that I have tried some of your methods on attraction what to say to a guy and I have it to work. It help me to get to know a guy I was interested in and wanted to get to know him more. One guy I had been friends with for yrs say something where my response would have been Just like a guy but many guys find this offensive and react in a negative way to. So instead I laughed and said your such a guy and I was shock with the positive reaction; he said thank you instead of being negative. It floored me. Out of the relationship people out there I found your methods to work and btw It is your book I have decided to get GetTheGuy

  95. Mariana says:

    Really liked the video! I would love if you keep digging this up!

  96. Elizabeth says:

    I believe that we could be witnessing the birth of your next venture-perhaps a series of seminars or a Lifestyle Retreat devoted to communication, methods for presenting oneself in the best manner in order to make the most favorable impact, and general human dynamics, etc!?? Your break down of the video was wonderful and you gave some really mature and positive ways to handle someone who appears confrontational. I actually really enjoyed watching “Ready for Love”. I did not think it was terrible and learned a few things from the advice given the women during the episodes. I was able to see the entire series of the program on xfinity on demand. When I saw the video for today I knew immediately which part of the program was going to be analyzed. You had a very mature and impactful way of handling the situation. I remember at the time I watched it, when you read back what she had said, I actually thought that the program had to be staged because why would you have written down something she said like that –it was just too slick!lol Anyway, you proved that your age was of no consequence because you handled that situation very maturely. I honestly was actually amazed to later hear your age. Regardless, the way you handled that situation as well as your presentation throughout the episodes was how I initially learned of you and started to follow you online. I now am thoroughly excited to be attending your Lifestyle Retreat in October! Ready for Love a failure??? I guess it depends on how you look at it but I don’t think so!
    Best to You Matt and Stephen! See you in October!

  97. Jacqueline says:

    Yes, Yes, Yes, PLEASE CONTINUE with these type of video’s!!!!

    These video’s provide vital information on how to handle all types of situations in life. As someone else wrote; it helps to understand when you provide the examples.

    As Stephen wrote, these are the most unique in personal development. We are fortunate!!!!!

    We are grateful that you have provided us with information about men, Stephen and his insightful views and writing and now about how to deal with difficult/challenging situations. Thank you so very much!!!!!

    You continue to amaze me how you are blessed as a ‘visionary.’

    • Stephen Hussey says:

      Matt’s a total visionary – we’d be nowhere without him guiding this ship! lol

      Take care Jacqueline,

      Steve x

  98. Shade says:

    LOVE THIS MATT!!! This is more than useful – this is GOLD! The ability to pull from a real situation and analyze it… absolutely PRICELESS! I can’t tell you how many times I’ve been in such a situation where someone has tried to DELIBERATELY embarrass and belittle me, and I blew it (many times!) in trying to deal with the situation. EVERYTHING you said deeply resonates with me and I clearly see WHY I blew it. Now I know, through practical example, how to effectively handle situations. Love your heart Matt… Thank you for doing this.

    (P.S. I’ll be watching this video again! Yep, it’s THAT good!)

  99. Demara says:

    Matt,

    Bravo! You should consider expanding to “Life Coaching” indeed. I enjoyed this play by play that helped in truly understanding the dynamics of the situation (ha, almost like American Football, Lol). Often we are given advice, but not given real life examples with which we can associate to truly understand the concept that is being spoken about. I myself am a very shy gal, and often find myself tripping on how to react (or not react) to such given situations, and have learned the hard way (painfully) how to deal with such things. It’s even more difficult for myself (and possibly others as well) on how to deal with Male Dominated environments at work, or elsewhere where thinking on your feet and understanding Male dynamics makes a huge difference in terms of making or breaking your career. Thankfully, the painful experiences have helped me build a tougher skin, and as such do my best to share my experiences with others when I’m able to, so they can have some advantage without the gory outcome. Like you said in a seminar that I attended not so long ago, ‘Investing in yourself is the best asset you could ever have’, and as such I would appreciate any other useful “Life Coaching” advice that you could share with us. Not only are you helping us “Build” Ourselves into better prepared folks, but you also infuse us with More Self Confidence and a Better Attitude for handling ‘Life’ when we step out the door.

    • Cristina Póvoas says:

      Demara, you literally read my mind. After reading your comment I was left with nothing else to say, so … God job! That’s exactly it! :D

  100. Liliann says:

    Dear Matt,
    I enjoyed the video. However, I still believe there is a better way to diffuse a tense situation and I say this with honesty and appreciation for the work that you do. In this example, though, I see that you level the situation in the opposite direction, meaning, when she tried to put you down, your quick response put HER down on national TV. The response you gave her if you look at it….still is passive aggressive. I like the fact that you are still mindful of your body language in the clip and what that communicates….and after that short mean comment “Thank you for proving my point” that then put her in a tough spot because everyone kinda cheer that you put her down…after the mean comment you bounced back and assertively explain your part in the show as an advisor for the man participating and looking for love.

    Now, i know you said that showing this video is not about taking sides about who did something wrong and obviously is not my intention to do that. However, I like what you do and I think you can show us something even better. I believe that for someone to become assertive is important to treat everyone as equals and learn how to diffuse tension rather than put another person in a tough spot or humiliating spot. I believe it takes practice and I really like the idea of you showing how we can improve our communication. My question would be: How can you effectively respond to a tough situation like “that” without putting someone down or on the spot? How can i be more connecting instead of disconnecting? ….specially when a person is blatantly insulting you?

    Anyways, your story is really inspiring and I like the idea of you making this videos to improve our communication skills.

    • Stephen Hussey says:

      Hi Liliann,

      I can’t respond for Matt here, but this is a GREAT question. I think the rules are different depending on the situation. In a TV show an ‘entertainment’ factor obviously is at work and it favours pithy/witty comebacks, but what Matt showed in this clip is that you can have your cake and eat it. He said something initially which was funny and diffused the criticism against him, and only AFTER that was he in a place to say something constructive and helpful. You can be witty and have a snappy comeback, but it has to come from an authentic place of trying to help, instead of just trying to tear the other person down. Which is why I think what Matt did in the short clip was so genius.

      Thanks for the smart thoughts on this,

      Steve x

      • Cristina Póvoas says:

        Wow! You Husseys are really something! A smart answer to every question and so well put too.

      • Liliann says:

        I am definitely curious to hear what Matt would say….but I can totally see your point and i can see the entertainment factor that you mentioned.

        However, in real life I can only imagine the normal response from someone who is put in a tough spot would be to become even more defensive, close or even get awkward. I personally would love to see more of that communication that doesn’t require a “mean/witty come back” but rather a fun/interesting/intriguing response that is more connecting.

        I definitely believe what you both are doing is wonderful and keep up the good work!

        Lilian

        • Ekayani says:

          She did prove his point. That was clear. He was very pro with her. She was catty. He was masterful. Hopefully she learned something about how to stick to the issue at hand and not drag in other things (age etc) that had nothing to do with her argumentativeness. That was the entire point of this lesson and the lesson was alive. If i were Ben I’d run for the hills. Who wants to be with someone who brings in peripheral stuff and keeps a score sheet? Marriage to someone displaying these kinds of characteristics would be sheer hell and end in divorce. Being taught can “hurt” because of the false ego. But this is why she was there correct? To get to the heart of the matter and this time it was her behavior. She was trying to be clever. She failed.

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