In this week’s episode of LOVELife, Esperenza calls in looking for advice about how to find closure. After discovering the man she went on a few dates with is actually married, she made a perhaps overreaching decision.
She Found Out He Was Married…Then This Happened..
- Relationship & Dating Blog | Matthew Hussey
- Published date:
- Relationship & Dating Blog | Matthew Hussey
- Published date:
I really needed this. I did not know I was the other woman and I was confronted by his significant other. I totally ran for my life. I did not reply to any confrontation and had since deleted his phone number. I love him dearly. At the same time I know I deserve a better man. Hence, cutting him loose without asking for any closure was the only morally way I can move on.
I don’t agree with Matthew’s judgment on this. How does he know the caller is only acting out of negative, selfish impulses? She found herself in a situation that was profoundly wrong. She was shocked that she’d been deceived, and also that this man’s wife was being deceived. She felt the other woman had a right to know the truth of what was going on. For some reason Matthew has an issue with the truth being brought into the open. Maybe it’s for the best and maybe it’s not. Now the caller is wondering if she did the right thing or not. Yes, it could be hurtful to the other woman, but maybe honesty is also the best policy. I’d rather know than go on in ignorance. There are ways to leave a signal or a hint without pushing it into someone’s face in a confrontational way. Leave a clear clue and let them come to grips with it.
I just found out I have been in a relationship with a married man for over a year and seven months. I was wondering what to do, in fact I thought of telling her. Not because I care for her and I want her to know kind of man she is married to but because if I was unhappy she should too, he too should be unhappy. After listening to you I realize that won’t bring me peace. I should concentrate on healing myself and moving on from this very unfortunate experience. And yes, I will make sure to be the woman who looks out and identifies inconsistencies early on. If I was that woman I would not have spent close to 2 years with a cheating husband. Thank you so much for the advice.
It’s fair for her to want revenge but it’s not smart. The wife will find out about her terrible husband anyways no need to be that person. He is a user and a cheat and will keep pretending to be single to sleep with other women. His wife already has a pretty bad life no need to hurt her more.
I recently found recently the man I know for over 12 years, dated for almost 3 years before the army moved him to another state, emails for about 5 years, reunited between Jan-Feb 2017 has been married since Feb 2017. He created a whole lie since 2017. The shock, the deceive is unbearable. It is hurtful. Ifound out the engagement pictures. Her Facebook post of both of the. Moreover, she is pregnant. When I dated him he did not want any more children after he was raising his son alone. Now he is having another baby. Imagine my dismay.
I decided that I am NOT going to disclose to his wife the piece of shit she married into. The horrible father his unborn child (another boy) has. I felt anger toward her but was the shock. Now, I feel terrible for her. She does not deserve him. However, I believe everything is known under the sun and she will know eventually. By me telling will not bring me peace. I confronted him via email. Quickly he emailed me back skins for forgiveness, he is in a bad place with family, friends nd his oldest son. That he has depression, ptsd and has suicidal thoughts. I have not responded to him.
I am leaning to my close friends, therapy and God. It is hard, it is difficult. I cry alone, I scream why me? Why I did not see the red flags. I am unable to erase in 1-2 days over 12 years of love. I loved him without conditions. However, God gave me know the wisdom to understand and discern evil and wickedness.
I hope my story helps others. please see the warnings. Question. Have him to take you to your place, to meet his family, etc. Gob bless y’all.