Sick Of Him Only Texting? Do This Next…

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  1. Yachna Mehta says:

    Hi Matt,

    I am in a similar situation. Known each other since 7 months, met like 5 times, used to call me a lot in the initial days, but over the past 4 months, where we have met 4/5 times, only texts, “Good Morning” and “How’s your day so far?”

    Frustrates me to another level. Makes me feel loved and cared when around, but after that there is detachment. I don’t know hat’s going on? How do I reply to these texts?

  2. Musiclover says:

    Hey matt.
    I’m in a similar situation, i met this guy two weeks ago, someone i Got to know through a school mate, we really hit it of, but then suddenley there where so many people that we lost eachother he just expressed that he was single.
    I diden’t Got his nr but i add him on fb and started writing.
    But i don’t Think these tekst advice would give the right signal. We have been writing a week since.. We have so many things in common and he wantet to get to know me.. I could feel that

  3. 2cute2b3d says:

    I’ve been seeing a guy for about 1 month and we’ve seen each other twice. (2 out 4 dates have actually happened, the other two were bad timing go for me) The good thing is that his texting turns into dates but I want to talk on the phone. Is this video only applicable IF the texting IS NOT turning into dates???? Or should these texts apply even if you are getting some action from the texts???

  4. Jill says:

    Texting has it’s place but many misunderstandings can occur.

  5. Zup says:

    These message are work and most of them brought me a lot of flirts from guy. I appreciate all of these but i have a problem with “I am not sure we can be friends anymore” because when i sent this to him…he replied me just “Make up your mind” I don’t know what did it meam? It was not in the way i thought…

  6. Estelle says:

    Nice enough vid. One thing though:
    “If this is the first time you’ve ever watched me… Congratulations!” made you sound like a conceited jerk.

    • David says:

      As a few have already said, you could just not reply back.

      Alternatively you could say you prefer that he reach you on Fb or that he call you.

      If he doesn’t follow up, then I doubt he’s that interested or available right now..

  7. Carly says:

    I completely agree. People who are all text and no talk or action are totally lame. If someone is relentlessly texting me I just tell them to call me if they want to talk or get together and I stop responding to texts. Problem solved. :)

  8. Iselin says:

    Hi! I was in a similar situation a few weeks ago, I ended it by saying that he had to stop contacting me, for me to get over him.
    I was wondering if that was a right way of doing it? Does it come off as a high or low value woman?

    I got some difficulties in knowing how to formulate correctly as a high value woman.

    Thanks :)

  9. Lanita says:

    This is a great post and very relevant. My pet peeve is the “watcha doing?” text. If you’re bored call me so we can do something!

  10. Christine says:

    THANK YOU for this video!!! So relevant to my life right now! I needed this! You’re awesome, keep up the great videos!!


  11. Thirza says:

    Hi Matthew,

    Im texting with a guy that i meth 14 days ago and we been talking ever since about usally our conversation goes about work and how late he has to work or when i work.
    But than i saw on his facebook Profile that he had a relationship with a girl a year ago.

    Altough in his facebookstatus stand that he is single.
    But how can you ask in a good way if he has a relationship and when is the good time to ask.
    And how can you start a converstation that not goes about work.

    I already sended him a text with: We have enough talked about work what did you today. So as you know i worked but what did you.
    After i sended that he was offline on facebook
    but he switched all the time offline and online that doesn’t meant anyhthing right?

    Lovely Greetz From Thirza from the Netherlands.

  12. J says:

    Thanks for this Matt, good video for sure.

    Community, as it doesn’t seem Matt’s able to reply to our comments:

    what about if a guy only texts in response to you (as opposed to only when he may be lonely or bored)? To me it seems pretty loud and clear that as he’s not the proactive one it’s pretty much the same situation as above. Just wondering if there might be other interpretations.

    • Marisol says:

      Nope, same thing.

      • Marisol says:

        Actually, he sounds like he’s even less interested in you than someone who keeps you in a roster of people to text for entertainment. Harsh.

    • Maya says:

      It’s worse. I’ve been there and it’s bad. He was super nice when I contacted him but never iniciated anything. It was so hard to stop but i did.
      Let go of him and let someone better come to you.

  13. lories says:

    Hi Matt, there’s a guy who’s with me at uni, we text alot and he says things like we have so much in common, I’ve never met someone who thinks a lot like me, I wish you were my neighbour so we could know each other more. Also he told his mother about me, and his sister hung out with us once. He came all the way just to see me on his day off. We hung out two times and it was great. We still text, but we don’t know what to talk about any more. Sometimes he gives me mixed messages like being really nice and sometimes flirty and other times, he doesn’t even respond to my text. I don’t even know if he’s interested in me, but for instance, when I don’t text him for two days, he starts texting and he apologises because he hasn’t texted me, because he was busy at work. I want to know if he’s just a player or if he’s interested?

  14. Darla says:

    Thanks Matt- I’m calling this the “Milking the text cow” technique! as seen at 5:06 on the video. This makes me laugh so I’ll be sure to remember it. Love it!

  15. Erin says:

    Matt – great tips as always. My question is — If a guy is really interested in a girl, would she even have to be dealing with this problem?


    • AspieCatholicgirl says:

      No. Such a guy probably isn’t very interested. BUT it is possible for him to end up becoming more interested. Don’t stake all your hopes for happiness on a guy who’s not interested, but do feel free to go ahead and give him the chance to become more interested.
      Your own actions determine how likely it is that he will move on to a new level of interest.

    • JJ says:

      Erin many men have been trained by women in their past that it is OK to text all the time instead of calling so they think this is what all women want.

      The Women’s Movement and liberation was great for women in the work place and world but it truly ruined dating for women. Men are so confused as to what we want or how to treat us like a lady.

  16. Claudette says:

    Great content! Texting is such a big hurdle in dating now. It’s actually PART of if…or so it seems. And it doesn’t look like it’s going away, but only become more prominent.
    So more videos like this with Texting situations and how to make sure things “textlate”

    Also…..another Sexy Potatoes video please!!!!!! :-P

  17. laura says:

    Love it.
    Perfect amount of “w”s.

  18. Silvia says:

    Thank you so much Matthew, this is exactly what I needed to hear.
    Hugs from Spain

  19. Ella says:

    Thank you so much for this video, I’m having exactly this problem with two guys at the moment!
    One of them I’ve known for years and when he left his girlfriend he suddenly started texting me again. We met twice, and he suggested a third date, but then we were both too busy and now he’s been texting me for four months, I’m really annoyed by now. I’m going to try one of the three texts, let’s see what’ll happen!!

  20. katrina says:

    I’m seeing a guy who texts me all week and sees me every weekend. When we first got together he would call me all the time and was besotted and excited by me. Now it seems more convenient and comfortable

  21. Rita says:

    The woman is crazy she preferred some other guy over a Hussey pffffft

    And texting does suck, thanks for the tips, coach, loved them! haha

  22. Yaro says:

    Need your help :(

  23. vicky says:

    Matt I have been with my boyfriend for 2 years now and he will not commit at all, in fact we have split up 4 times now. As soon as we have an argument about anything he calls it a day and tells me we just dont work. The problem is I love this guy with all my heart. He never thinks of me on special occasions, he will help others out before me, he never really wants to take me anywhere and as soon as we have any time off together he goes back home to Scotland (we live in Newcastle) which hurts and I have cried many tears.. do I leave like everyone keeps telling me or should I stay and keep trying… please help as I am out of my mind. Ps he never texts or calls me as he says why should he as he see’s me every day.

    • A says:

      Leave him! Sticking around is only going to hurt you more, you are better off cutting things off and finding someone who will appreciate you better.

      • vicky says:

        Easier said then done when u love someone.

        • Andrea says:

          I agree with A. Sorry, you need to let him go. As Matt says “I only want to be with me people who adore me”. You may love him, but it doesn’t sound like he is making you a priority as you are with him :(. You can still love someone and not be with them.

        • Ana says:

          Dear Vicky,
          It is easier said then done when you feel you really love someone. I went through it as well and it ended so badly I don’t even want to rehash it again, ever. There is a saying that goes like this: love is blind but the neighbors ain’t. What I found it to mean is that through your love for this man, you can’t see what everyone else does. All your friends are right, get out and move on. It’s painful and every one of those binds that tie you to him in love have to be broken, sometimes one by one. Your heart is broken for a while and then little by little it heals. Sometimes the pain you feel by sticking it out hurts just as much. The best way to do this is to do things for yourself, find a passion, like yoga or dancing ( Zumba ) a book club, a meetup group, a new puppy or kitten, do something you’ve always wanted to try. Anything to get the focus off of him. Believe me, you’ll be so glad you did. Stop doing things for him and trying to make him love you, see what a great partner you would be, because narcissistic men never appreciate. Been there, done that! I wish you good luck. Hugs, Ana

    • Estelle says:

      It sounds shit, to be honest. But since you won’t listen to anyone telling you to leave, I’ll say “stay”.

      But: Make it a priority to do things for yourself. Something you always wanted to do, something you wanted to learn. A trip, learning a language, taking up a sport, perhaps. And make an effort to meet new people.

      He won’t get to see you “everyday anyways” anymore. And maybe you’ll meet someone who’s a lot nicer along the way.

      And if he ditches you again… don’t try to win him back. That’s the deal: I won’t tell you to leave him, but if he leaves you, that’s it.

  24. Vicki says:

    I just stop texting them back. Chances are you are not the only woman he’s texting, or he’s in a relationship and he just wants attention; or he is not excited enough about you or motivated to go on an actual date with you; or he’s keeping you on the back burner “just in case” he might have some use for you in the future. Either way, it’s childish and not very flattering. So his serial texting with no action doesn’t merit a response. Stop wasting your time and focus on an actual person who really, really wants to see you and can’t wait to get together.

  25. Michelle Ryan says:

    Thank you for this Matt! You have the most perfect timing. Actually met a guy at my friends wedding, who I met at her 21st party seven years ago. We really seemed to hit it off and he text me the next evening and he was all for meeting up again. So we have been just texting now for nearly 2 months. We live in different counties so I can’t just say hey going out with friends you should come too, my who live there are away atm, although I did it once when I was visiting them but he was working. I have tried the complimenting him about missing his “sexy voice” twice now and nothing. I tried to call him myself and he couldn’t talk at the time. Getting a little frustrated with him now and think it maybe time to just call him out. If this doesn’t progress to anything more its just a waste of my time, I don’t want a to rush into something serious with him, I just want us to get to know each other properly. What I know about him I like alot and we seem have alot in common but I just feel like I am a teenager again texting the boy from school I fancy…its not enough for me! If he just ignores my concerns and feelings about his serial texting, then I am done with this.

    Anyway thank you for the advice Matt, you are the best!

    Michelle xx

    • JJ says:

      Michelle, Just stop texting back and see what he does. If he is really interested he will call. Saying nothing sometimes is powerful. He may think something is wrong, or you lost your phone or are out of town. If he is interested he will want to know why you did not text back and find a way to get in touch with you. If you are worth it to him he will spend the money for a long distance call to you. I know I have spent waaaay too much on a dress for a date with a new guy I really liked. Other guys I am slightly interested in I just recycle an old outfit.

      I just had a guy who I dated for awhile and broke it off and he recently start texting me again. I didn’t answer one text. In just a few days he texted me 15 times and then called 3 times to try and get a hold of me. By day 4 he was in a panic. The space apart gave him time to realize his feelings for me and then when I didn’t answer his messages right away it put him over the edge. If a guy is interested he will make a fool of himself to get to you. If he is not he will forget you. And if he forgets you he wasn’t all that into you in the first place. No one forgets someone they love.

      Men need to sometimes feel they have lost you in order for them to realize how they truly feel. Creating a sense of loss can awaken a man to how he feels about a woman. He needs to miss her to appreciate her.

      With my boyfriends I every once in awhile don’t call them back or take a day to do so. When they see me the next time they are much more attentive. I also have dated guys who I never called back. They just had to catch me when I was available otherwise they didn’t get to talk to me. They had no problem with that at all. When they did get a hold of me I acted all excited to hear from them. Reward them for being persistent. A good catch needs a chase. Men fall in love in the chase.

      Just remember
      Men fall in love when women are away.
      Women fall out of love when men are away.

      Good luck Michelle.

      • Pablo says:

        It seems you have some “game” knowledge indeed, the “push and pull” game is extremely tricky, but effective though, you spoke about what some very “alpha” or “in demand” women do in general in their seduction process. There is a problem though, if you get to know a guy and you actually connect with him very strongly, and he actually also has the “in demand” mentality + he is emotionally strong….you will be in deep trouble girl if you actually liked him, he will play the same game as you, and at the end one have to “drop the cards first”…

        Am not against “The game” itself, is just how can you play it sometimes can be really dangerous, and sometimes just putting out the masks could be much better.

        “Just remember
        Men fall in love when women are away.
        Women fall out of love when men are away.”

        I would change the part for women to “fall in” too, since somehow my experience with woman is similar to yours (JJ) with man. A point am modifiying to make a “win win” relationship and not putting someone in a “powerless” position in relationship matters.

        Hope it helps you both Michelle a JJ.

        • JJ says:

          An “in demand man” as you say are use to women chasing them and the woman who does not chase him and is sometimes elusive is the one he wants. Always keep them a little wanting and he will continue to treat his woman as he did in the initial dating stages. Men fall in love in the chase and stay in love with a little chase.

          It’s not a game it’s a dance. You can’t have two Ginger Rogers dancing, no one will lead and if you have two Fred Astaires both will want to lead and you end up head butting.

          I treat my men like Kings but I never give more than they give to me, about 50% back. I remember I am the prize. A real man doesn’t need for women to give to him. He thrives on giving, protecting and cherishing and when a woman responds with gratitude and happiness that is all he really needs back from her. I don’t want to take his manhood away from him by doing equally back for him. That is not a game it is respecting his position as the man, the leader of the relationship. It is also me knowing my place in the relationship. A modern equal – equal relationship is like a roommate situation, not very romantic.

          Literally, Every man I have ever dated has come back knocking on my door after I have dumped them (because they were not ideally for me) all saying I was the best girlfriend they ever had. Quite a few gave proposals which I turned down. I have attracted A List men, pro athletes, millionaires, all kinds with my approach. (Always looking for more from Matthew)

  26. Karen says:

    Thank you!! Such a common thing now, very helpful advice! X

  27. Jo says:

    Great video Matt and very apt for me right now. I need to get my head around this serial texter ‘thing’ and this helped somewhat.

    Keep up the good work.

    Take care

    Jo x

  28. H says:

    Cannot believe this… I’m so in this scenario

  29. Nicole Carazo says:

    Oh Matt, I adore you. I love this video, although I have already been in this situation and really have come to do exactly what you mention in this video naturally. Flaky guys ARE BORING and I lose interest when they only text. However, I especially love the “Yaawwwn” example and might have to steal that one IF that ever happens to me again! :)

  30. Jill says:

    I so could have used this when text first came out. I have just learned to ignore the serial texters. My friends on the other hand…

  31. Sarah says:

    Matt, half your charm is that you’re hilarious- I love these videos! “I’m gonna say 4 w’s”

  32. JJ says:

    When a guy first asks for my number, I give him my card and point out my cell number while saying, “This is my cell number. I’m not much of a texter though.” And just leave it at that.
    Every time, they call me rather than text me. I have not told them what to do or to not text me because guys don’t like being told what to do. Instead what I have done is tell them what I don’t like (texting) and they think its their idea to call me instead of texting. We teach people how to treat us. My aunt always said “You have to train your man how to treat you from the get go otherwise its hard to teach old dogs new tricks.”

    I really hate texting unless its someone telling me they are running 5 minutes late or such. Its so impersonal. I want to hear my friends laugh instead of reading their LOL. I want to laugh with them not at a cell phone screen. Plus I can multi task when I am on the phone, ie cooking, washing dishes, getting ready for my date putting on make up as I talk to my friends etc. One can still be fully present when talking and multi tasking. Also I hate waiting for a reply to a text. Some people test you a question, I answer then I am waiting 10 minutes because they are texting 3 other people or doing something else. It really breaks the flow of the conversation and connection.

    The only time I text is with the athletes I am dating. They are on a plane full of team mates and don’t have any privacy to talk but they want to reach out to me. This I understand and have no problem with.

    If a guy is out with the guys and wants to send a quick text to say he misses me and wishes he stayed home with me instead or can’t wait to see me, is acceptable to me. A quick sweet note is lovely. Trying to have a full on conversation texting when one can easily call is not what I participate in. If a guy tries to get into a texting conversation I just say, my hands are busy right now but if you want to call and continue our talk that would be fine.

      • J says:

        Good tip, thanks Jill, as I’m not much of a texter either – will try it from the get-go next time rather than trying to manipulate to call after text has already been happening. I’ve been trying to think of a way around this, why didn’t I think of this! Thanks!

        • JJ says:

          It works like a charm. Good luck with it.

          My aunt also always said never tell a man what to do. Tell them what you don’t like or don’t want and they will figure out what to give you. When we tell a man what we want, its like telling him what to do.

          What I also do when a guy gives me his business card to call in instead of asking me for my phone number is, I take his business card and turn it over, write my phone number on the back of his card then hand it back to him. Now he has to call me. I no longer have his number so he has to make the first move and be the pursuer.

          Don’t call a guy. Call him back.
          Don’t email a guy. Email him back.
          Don’t give to a guy. Give back.
          This way of thinking always lets him always make the first move to be in charge and be the man, the leader, the pursuer.
          Be easy to get but let him do the getting.
          Basic law of nature “The Sperm Chases The Egg” Be the egg and let him do the work.

          If you want to be treated like a lady you have to act like one. We teach people how to treat us.

    • Nicole Carazo says:

      I love this!! And I agree with you JJ! :)

    • Jodi says:

      JJ, thank you so much for your tips! I feel frustrated by men texting me and not even putting any effort in their messages. Texting has advantages so I’m not completely against it. But if a guy texts me they need to personalize it and I don’t do deep conversations in texts with them either.

      Next time I will definitely take your advice and say “This is my cell number. I’m not much of a texter though” as soon as I give out my number! I can’t be bothered to try to get all these guys to call me after they start with their lazy texts. I’ve also tried saying some flirtatious form “I’m not much of a texter” after the fact. They’ll say “Ok” but continue texting so I end up ignoring them and they never call, and I disappear on them. LOL

      They continue tokeep texting things like “hey you” “good morning” .. plain messages that look like they could go to 10 different women at once, and don’t even change their approach! UGH! I’ve probably only had one guy ask why I wasn’t be responsive ever because he was interested in changing his approach.

      Also good idea with the business card. I told one guy after the next time I saw him, (since he wondered why I never called) that I never know what to do with business cards when a guy hands it out to me. lol

  33. Kathleen says:

    UGH!!!! take that banner down!!! we know, we know!!!

    I needed new tires, I chose me!!! fingers crossed!!! I will get it if you release it again…

  34. Tiffany says:

    Thank you Matt!!! I’m totally gonna use this, especially the yaaawwnnn one hahah!

  35. Shannon says:

    Thank you, Matthew!

    I have been talking to a guy who sent me a way too long message about why he hasn’t messaged me. I really like these ideas. I’m going to sleep on which one to use. The yawn text is really appealing now, but I’ll see.

    • Kyra says:

      That’s hilarious, Shannon, as I went on a date with a man and, after a few days of texts, sent nearly 20 series of texts about how busy he is, how work is overwhelming, how sick he’s feeling… all excuses why he can’t talk on the phone in the evening or connect like he’d like. I just shrugged, sent a “No problem” and ignored futhur texts.

      He sent a “Happy Friday! Miss your smile!” I ignored. By the time the weekend was over he sent a “Ahem,” as if to clear his throat to get my attention. Ignored that one too because I was on a date, one of two I had for the weekend.

      Unless he takes action or makes a date, I’ll keep silent. I’m much too mature and high value to allow a man to string me along via text.

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