7 Subtle Signs He’s Flirting With You

It’s funny how often women tell me they don’t know when a guy is flirting.

Because to us men, we think we’re being so obvious.

If you’re confused about whether he’s interested, make sure you learn these 7 sneaky signs…

 ►► So what do you say when he flirts with you? This FREE guide hands you 5 phrases men can’t resist. Download here… → SayThisToHim.com

80 Responses to 7 Subtle Signs He’s Flirting With You

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

  1. Cathy Hunter says:

    This video cracked me up. Great acting btw.lol

  2. Flybird says:

    Seriously I have missed all these chances!!!
    Im so glad I now know. Thank you!!! This right here might have changed my life

  3. Lori says:

    I had know idea that a guy at my gym was flirting with me until I seen this video. He has done 6 of the 7 things Matt mentioned. So I got my nerve up to talk to him. As he tripped on his words to reply to me,”wow,of all the people in here you come alk to me? I really wish I wasn’t married!” Was I mistajen that it was an attempt to flirt with me? In the past months I’m the only female he has approached with a comment, a good morning, no tooth smile, work out on the machine behind me or one away from me, looking at me, passing by me several times, or a wave from the parking lot as he drives away. I have seen him talk to 2 other men and talks briefly when a woman approaches him. Then he is married?

  4. Miss Bee says:

    This is, in my opinion, your best video so far. I loved it in so many ways! Thank you for putting this out.

  5. Shea says:

    there is this guy who flirts me…but later on i find out he’s already attached. so why is he flirting with me when he already has someone else?

  6. Cam says:

    Hi Matthew,
    Thank you for this Matt. I dont know why but I would always miss it. A guy would flirting with me but I could when a man was interested in someone else. Crazy right. I guess I just miss it. I have to laugh at myself bcause I want a nice, kind, sweet, gentle guy that gives chase but it flew right pass my head. After watching this video all of the subtle I can remember each time a guy would flirt one of these ways.

    Thank you again

  7. Yoshimi says:

    No freaking way!!! I see guys acting like this all the time and never knew it was as flirting!!!!!! Matt where were you 5 years ago? I could probably be on my 4th husband by now

  8. DrK says:


  9. Diana says:

    Hi! Great video btw! I look forward these each week. I am curious though, it seems you spend the majority of time talking about meeting new people while I realize how important this is, the circumstances can be very different if you already know someone… like lets say you work with him. I’d love to hear your thoughts on getting through some of those scenarios.

  10. Ann Sofie says:

    Oh my god, I LOVED this video! It made me laugh and cheered me up so much. And its encouraged me.
    I realised all the opportunities I missed. And that I have been flirted with..yay.. its was real.. I didn´t imagine it :D. Now when a guy does these things, I can enyoy that i am attractive and not doubt myself, amazing :). And I loved the humor in the video. I could also se myself in some of the behavior, which just made me laugh even more.
    Very heartvarming and encouraging video Matt :)

  11. Sleepless in Denver says:

    Wow, Matthew. I’ve been following you for 5 years. I’ve seen how much confident and mature you’ve become. Congratulations on your success. This is one of my favorite videos. I love how you’ve made things so real. Have you ever wondered maybe many of us like watching your videos because you represent someone who we’ve always dreamed we would marry?? Will you marry me? Anyway a woman can dream… In all seriousness, your videos help me enjoy life. I’ve met several guys who would buy me and my girlfriend a drink. Some actually have fun trying to learn signs. Don’t let anything stop you. Oh did I tell you I’m deaf?

  12. Inga says:

    These were great tips Matt, and the video was very cute. It’s often easier to assume anything else is going on rather than someone is flirting or subtly taking an interest in us. Believing the former is just another way of trying to protect ourselves from getting hurt or feeling embarrassed if we happen to be wrong. But what if we just assumed that we’re liked and admired rather than ignored all the time? Rather than being arrogant, I think that’s just a way of being kinder to yourself. And by doing that, you end up creating way more opportunities to attract and be attracted to other quality people. Call me crazy, but that sounds like a simpler and more fun way to enjoy life. Thanks for the reminder!

  13. Luky Cawarra says:

    So funny :D

  14. Disa Jardine says:

    Omigosh, Matthew! How much do I love you?! I’ve been operating in the former reality (for way too long) wherein I’ve believed that dudes were merely being cordial, or it was happenstance that he was looking over. Sometimes I’d even chalk it up to my being in his sightline (and that’s why our eyes have met a couple of times). How many opportunities have I missed?! Well, not anymore, Matt…I choose to operate in the latter reality now where, even if it seems like some cute coinkidink, if I notice a fella giving me the half-smile or the barely audible “hey”, I’ll just take a small chance…who knows where it may lead? Thanks so much!

  15. Joanne says:

    Yes, this is very good advice. I can relate to this for sure. :-)

  16. Lyn says:

    Funny… Some of these flirtatious moves are the very things I can’t stand. If a guy is talking loudly and gesticulating, that makes me move away from him.

  17. ghada says:

    Thank you..

  18. Erika Olivas says:

    As always my friend you you have given me insight that is priceless. I have been on your retreat and am thrilled with the changes and outcome of my life because of your tips. I love how these simple hints can create an opportunity to create magical moments thanks Mr.Hussey

  19. Megan says:

    I think you just made my life go zero to a hundred real quick! The sign where you metioned a guy will look at you and you for some reason you both look into eachothers eyes, litterally just happend to me over the weekend!!!. I was in a park with one if my good girlfriends and met one of her guy friends who had just met someone else at a club the night before…. So it was really subtle but I definitely thought there was something more to that look then meets the eye

  20. lynelle says:

    Matt, you’re so freakin’ hilarious…ahh, great fun.

    Another fun thing (actually fun-NY) is that of course I’m a female, but I’ve also done every single one of those 7 things in my flirtatious past. Whatever.

    Keep ’em coming.

    All the best.

    • Sally says:

      Yeah, it’s worth noting that as a female you can also use all of these tactics and have an extremely high success rate. Like, glance at a man across the room, or ask him where the bathroom is. Guys will almost always take the bait to start up a conversation (unless they are taken, in which case they will still be flattered :-P)

  21. Nicole says:

    This video had me cracking up! Great content and love how your personality shines through everything you do. Kudos to Jameson for a great vid too.

    Would love a follow up of “Is this a date?” Recently my friends and I have had this issue. Went out with a guy thinking “we are just hanging out” and then we made out…ok, so that was a date. Then hung out with another guy thinking maybe it was a date…and it was not…but I wanted it to be…it’s a weird world we live in…

  22. Maya says:

    Huh! Never thought of it that way. But as usual, you’re right on the mark. “Wouldn’t it be arrogant or narcissistic of me to think…” – exactly what I was thinking.
    BTW, do these signs work the other way around as well?

    Thanks! :)

  23. Maria says:

    Omg, this had me cracking up!! Thanks for the laughs.

    I thought it was interesting that these are considered flirting techniques for men, because a couple of these I do myself and from my perspective, they are simply me socializing or being polite and I have no intention or interest in the person they may be directed at. I suppose that’s why I can sometimes get in trouble for it…lol.

  24. Thuraya says:

    Lmao…I like you too by the way…. I think his attraction would go way down after that… but it would be funny.

  25. Jade says:

    I really loved this video. Rather entertaining (You’re quite the funny guy, aren’t you haha!) and also, very insightful.

    I’ve always wondered whether it was flirting, or him just being a normal human being, carrying on with his day, so I always ignored it. But thank you so much for this, I always get excited when seeing your content. You never fail. Love it!

  26. Maxine Shapiro says:

    Oh I can reply. Well here it goes, dam Matthew You’re so Hot, I wish you were my man/boyfriend! Everytime I watch you give your speech lessons about love/men, I get naughty ideas in my head about you-Lol :)

  27. Kristina says:

    Haha! Matthew stop being so cute ;p
    I like how you make the video interesting and fun. It seems like men are like little boys who are seeking for attention. And it’s fun to play along with it… Winks! ;)

  28. Yulia says:

    For many years I regarded all these signs as you say – flirting, but everytime I started to respond in the same way, the guy was going like “there was nothing in there, just normal communication”, and I stopped paying attention to such behaviour for good. So this video is a bit confusing, on one hand, but I like that recommendation of taking small risks without actually saying “I like you too”. Maybe something will change;) Thank you)

  29. rosalba says:

    Matthew you know you have hot arms, and we love to see them, but don´t let your looks be more important than your message. You are devil handsome, dont workout too much.

  30. Kristin says:

    Your videos crack me up! Dating can be a brutal process. Thank you for bringing some humor for us ladies along the way Matt :)

  31. JK says:

    Love it! Can you make one about co-workers? Basically the exact same as this one, but at work, co-workers.

  32. J says:

    Oh boy… Ive been so clueless! Ha! *smh* I was like “oh no!!! He was flirting with me!”

    Great video, acting and music! Go Jameson and Matt!

  33. Deea says:

    You are so funny!!!! Thank you for the video!! You rock !!

  34. kim says:

    LOVED this Matthew – I always struggle in knowing when a guy is flirting or “just being nice”. Love the funny way you always portray your example. Great information as well as a great laugh – thank you so much :)

  35. lee says:

    what is it with men. when it starts off it’s I am single. then they come out with completely out of the blue I am not seeing other people. I am not interested in other people. nor have I been seeing others since we met . but they say only friends with benefits. we do not socialize together at all. but he doesn’t hide it. we work in the same complex. and he stays at least 2/3 nights a week . but I haven’t met his son or mum whom are the most important to him. why what’s happening here their is an age gap of round 10 years . I am older

  36. Hadar says:

    Haha, I found out that I’m a natural when it comes to flirting with guys, when I was 19.
    I just couldn’t stop laughing, while watching the video. Everytime when a guy smiles at me, I smile back, everytime a guy speaks to me I respond. I would bring myself into situations, when a guy did everything that you just pointed, and I responded them without knowing I’m flirting.
    Another art of flirting, is flirting in the phone. Usually when you work in a job that requires you to speak all day long to people in the phone, you start joking about stuff, and I found out that it’s flirting too. Apparently my voice turns on guys, and it was very scary for me at first ,now I learned to enjoy that.
    My problem was that I couldn’t believe how much power I had, I was terrified. I was afraid guys didn’t want something serious, and preferred saying no to some of them.
    Today I’m much more aware, and I’m starting to let go of my fears. It’s nice to feel atractive and it’s fun to flirt.

  37. Julie MacKenzie says:

    Love it! ;) <3

  38. De says:

    The story of my early life. I accidentally shot down so many flirts cause I didn’t see it as being hit on…
    On the flip side, I was recently on a date and another guy in the bar was doing all this and nearly back flips , and it was ridiculous. Why would a man be so obvious checking out a woman who is with another man and clearly into her date? It was distracting and ultimately rude of him to keep at it.

  39. Janise says:

    Matthew, when women see a guy wearing a V-Neck T-shirt, we think he’s gay.. Crew necks Dude! Crew Necks!

    • Jojo says:

      Speak for yourself!

      I think he looks good in a v-neck.

    • kim says:

      I LOVE v-necks on a guy – super sexy!!!

    • J says:

      What? Since when does a style of T Shirt denote anyone’s sexual orientation?!

      Matt, you rock those V-Necks!

    • Pat says:

      My boyfriend wears V neck–he looks so damn hot!!!! P.S. He’s definitely not gay.

      • Janise says:

        Doesn’t matter if he’s straight V Neck is a women’s cut. Makes men look gay. Even my gay friends say it too.

        • Emily says:

          I design and order t-shirts for the gym I work at in a large US city. When we ordered tees last summer, we went for a V-neck. Found that guys who are in the Gen X range (mid-thirties to sixties) weren’t into V-necks, while senior men (60 or older) didn’t really care and millennial guys (yes, straight men too) thought they were cool!

  40. Natalie says:

    Great tips and food for thought on flirting, Matthew. Thank you. You’re hysterical sometimes. I liked the mix of comedy and subtlety – the swagger of laying across the table AND chair. So funny.

  41. Rowan says:

    Well this was ever so “subtly” entertaining. Thank you!

    Actually I loved the role play. It was fantastic! xD

  42. Sarah Doyle says:

    Are the signs difderent between existing friends? Do they change their minds about you later in a friendship?

  43. Robin says:

    I like this post, thanks for the tips! Question though. What is up with the guys these days that will only iMessage me saying they are interested or want to go on a date? Personally, if a guy doesn’t have the courage to even call me or approach me in person I’m kind of turned off. This has happened 3 times in the past 3 months and none are people that never run into me. I even had one go so far as to continue texting me on iMessage when he wasn’t willing to say two words to me in person when I see him at work everyday. Seriously….

    • Janise says:

      Beta men are shy. Alpha men go for it. It’s a great way to weed out the Beta boys from the Alpha Men. Real feminine women love Alphas. Masculine women go for the Betas.

  44. Lee Woods says:

    My husband fits the bill on all seven signs with other women, even though he says he is “just being friendly” and it is all in my imagination. I would add an 8th sign, which is touching the shoulder or arm in some way… even if very limited and lightly, don’t you think? This is my husband’s best flirting move. And of course, then women start touching him back. We have had many an argument over this, and he refuses to change his behaviour even though he knows it hurts my feelings. Am I in the wrong? He says I am over-reacting. I dont deny him sex; actually it is pretty good, but his tendency to “couple up” with other women at parties we attend makes me want to leave him. (He also sat with another wife on a tour bus in Spain and left me sitting alone). I dont require or need him to be at my side 24/7 either , nor am I particularly needy. I just want a respectful husband, not a panting, sniffing hound.

    • Rowan says:

      No, you’re not in the wrong. He’s showing a blatant lack of respect toward you and that’s not something anyone should just brush off as “well I may be overreacting.” I’ve seen this happen to friends, strangers, and experienced disrespect too. There was a time when I let people’s comments stating that I was overreacting, being melodramatic, or that they just didn’t want to deal with my “issues” anymore silence me and beat me down to try to please them. I’ve experienced that from friends, boyfriends, even family. It wasn’t until I started valuing myself that I demanded respect from others, and I would do the same. If someone won’t respect me, even after communicating with them, then I don’t need or want them in my life.

      I’ve also seen this happen repeatedly to my Mom. She was cheated on, abused, and there were many arguments. I have a vague memory from when I was 4 and my parents were fighting…I said if they didn’t stop I would run away… My Mom has come a long way and gone through a lot more since then to the point where she’s disgusted with just the thought of relationships and she has isolated herself pretty much from everyone except her kids…

      I don’t want to see anyone else suffer like that. Not even a fraction of it.

      Something I realized a few years ago is that it’s OK to walk away. To realise the things that might be causing you harm or holding you back and cutting them out of your life or giving the necessary distance.

      Something I realised only a year ago along with that is that if the above is happening and you realise that you can’t help the other person’s personal-growth, no matter how much you might want to, then it’s time to walk away. Sometimes that’s what you have to do in order to allow your wings to become strong.

      I hope Matt will give you more advice here. But ultimately the decision rests with you. I wish you the best.

    • Love says:

      Sorry to hear this. I’ll write more.

    • Love says:

      So I tell my boy friend that he is allowed to cheat…if he chooses too…knowing that I reserve the same right to exercise it once he does it.

      Can I recommend you start to do the same, flirt with other men, sit next to them, touch their arms and etc. and watch his response to your new behavior.

    • Sally says:

      I’ve told my partner that I don’t mind if he flirts with other women in social situations. I truly believe it’s natural and harmless most of the time, and I’m a flirty person myself. We both enjoy interacting with new people and being a bit the center of attention. However, when he does it when we are together in a gathering of mutual friends, it makes me feel embarrassed. He does love and respect me, but I don’t want because of some silly behavior for my friends to think he doesn’t.
      The same with social media; when I told him it bothered me when he responded enthusiastically to girls from his past who wrote flirty things publicly on his wall, he stopped doing it. But I told him I don’t mind if he talks to them privately; it’s just that doing it in a public forum is embarrassing for me. To him, he thought he was being friendly… I think he really didn’t understand how it impacted to me until I explained it to him.
      I don’t know if maybe explaining that logic, and seeming reasonable might get him to understand your position and try to change his behavior.

  45. Ha says:

    You’re hilarious as always with your play..
    And can you make the same video but sings for men? So they will understand us? Ha ha.. And maybe ee will understand ourselves :)
    Sometimes I wonder when I walk across a guy if I should look at him or not, if he seems interesting, so it won’t make the opposite effect..

  46. Yvonne says:

    Haha this is great! Flirting usually goes over my head, so glad to see things from a man’s point of view. Thank you!

  47. Loraine fabricius says:

    Aha moment…this is very good..I’ve been way too stuck in my head and haven’t noticed because I’m way to shy!! I’d hate to admit and in this kind of form, which is suprising,that I don’t know how to handle and what to say to a guy…and that’s why I’m here..lol..A work in progress!! And in the video when your on the couch, had me in stiches!!!

  48. Michelle says:

    Whoa, this happens all the time and I totally blow it off! I just assumed that they were open to ‘meeting’ all kinds of new people, like I am, without it having to go ‘there’. Hmmmm, I will certainly have to keep my eyes better open!

  49. ale says:

    How about a video when your are in a weird friendship and you think he is interested but the signs are not clear enough to think he is being more that just friendly. Like when he kiss you on the forehead or grab your hand to say good bye, but he hasn’t said a single compliment or the conversation over text is plain, but he continues to reach out for you.

  50. Anna Wilthew says:

    Liked the tip. Thanks Matthew.

  51. Nat says:

    Awesome video Matt! Just got an a-ha moment! These are so subtle! I just assumed they were just being friendly, never clueing in. Mind blown! I will definitely add the 1% reciprocation now. Love all your videos but this one was definitely a game changer for me!

  52. Savannah Sullivan says:

    So this guy I know from church uses most all of these bullet points and then doesn’t ever stop to talk? Yeah I don’t know. If we speak I’m always the one initiating the conversation, and when I give him an open opportunity to walk up and speak to me, he never takes it. It’s very weird.

  53. Julia says:

    Wow, I don’t know why, but, this blew my mind! I tend to assume I am overreacting whenever I think a guy may be using one of these signs. I think to myself, “Ok, if he’s serious, he’ll try again.” I never really considered I could make a 1% reciprocation and see if it went anywhere. Thanks Matt, time for me to test the guys in a different way!!

  54. Anna says:

    Thats hilarious but well done!!! Could not be more clear! These signs are so subtle that they can go unoticed so easily. Loving the 1% rule in giving back… applies to many other situations. Thank you for doing this!

  55. Jen says:

    Interesting. Thanks Matt! What’s the reason men smile with no-tooth vs smiling with teeth?

  56. Kelly says:

    What perfect timing Matt! I really needed to see this video as I tend to miss the signs or doubt myself, and I was wishing for a video from you on this topic. Thanks so much! It made me laugh too :)

  57. Monica Lee says:

    Love to have this acted out. Matt is such a good actor too.

    Hope to see the suggested girls’ responses acted out too. Afteall. How do we primates learn? By modelling others!

  58. Laura says:

    Oh, dear, thanks Matt for sharing this! I had no idea this all meant flirting. If I noticed a guy doing this I’d think that he hates me and for some reason wants me to know that. I’d actually pull away from such a negativity!

  59. Faizah says:

    Anyone else finds this video a little scary? ;D

  60. Aziza says:

    OMG I honestly do many of the same things when I’m trying to flirt with a guy. Guess I need to be a bit more obvious now, ha!

  61. Donna says:

    Although its been a while since any man flirted with me, I must admit I used to love it if they flirted and weren’t inebriated! I wish they all had your sense of humor Matthew!

  62. Megan Calais says:

    Alright… I’ve been listening to you for months, and yes, I always get something out of it, but whoa! this one — dang it! Thank you so much for clarifying these little “tells” that he may be flirting… I’m so naive! Eyes are opening and confidence is rising…
    Matt- you are a wonderful gift!!!

  63. Cam says:

    Thank you for this, because boy have I been missing out. I can get a read on people most of the time but when a guy is flirting with me it sails right over my head. I thank you. Now I dont have to be the aggressor. I can be chased and not do the chasing.

  64. Lauren says:

    Oh my goodness! Most of those are super subtle! I do some of these things when I want a guy to leave me alone lol! Good thing you made this vid or I would have continued to think men were trying to imply the same thing as me :O

  65. Patti says:

    So what do you do when men try to get as far away from you as possible? The only guys to EVER give you attention are MARRIED! When you are taken for granted , disrespected, lied to. When men talk a good game but have NO follow thru? When you have all the qualities than men SAY they want, but those qualities aren’t wrapped in a pretty package, so the men look right thru you to the pretty girl over there. The one they fight tooth and nail to get and keep even tho she has NONE of the qualities they SAY they want? at 51yo I have been on one date in over 13yrs and he turned out to be a complete jerk. I have NEVER had a relationship last more than 6-8 weeks. I have never been loved…don’t even know what that feels like. I am closer to the end of my life than the beginning and have completely given up hope. All of the things you say sound good in theory, but do ME absolutely NO good. :-/

Read previous post:
9 Questions To Ask Yourself Before Saying Yes

There’s so much dating advice out there telling women how to get a man to commit, but not so much...