Did You Sleep With Him Too Fast?

You’re in bed with a guy.

It’s the morning after the night before.

You had a great time. The sex was hot. He’s hot.

It all happened so fast. And now you’re starting to have that classic worry: Did I give it away too soon? 

Even in the modern world it’s common for women to have this feeling of anxiety after sleeping with a guy too quickly. Maybe you’re worried about he’ll lose respect you, or you want to make sure you don’t attached to him BEFORE you know whether he sees you two as a serious thing. Maybe it all just happened in the heat of the moment and you want to slow down next time before you jump into having regular sex.

Relax. Sex is to be enjoyed, not something to be constantly agonized over.

In this week’s video, I show exactly what to do next if you feel like you’ve slept with a guy too quickly, and reveal a golden line you can say to him if you want to slow things down that will make him EVEN MORE attracted to you and send his respect for you through the roof.

Remember: there’s no conflict between having a fun sex life and being high value.

81 Responses to Did You Sleep With Him Too Fast?

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

  1. Julie says:

    Hi Matthew, it’s taken me years to find a guy. We had a lot of fun on our first night. I did own it, regretted nothing. But haven’t seen him since as he said he’d injured himself and now has flu. He still talks the talk, very complimentary. Surely he wouldn’t just play me ? It’s been two weeks since .

  2. Joie says:

    What if you thought you had a non-physical attraction and you slept together too soon. Then aside from a few texts back and forth he stopped reaching out. I haven’t reached out to him either but it’s been 3-4 days.

  3. Megan says:

    @Madison, curious to know how that worked out for you? I am in a similar situation. Matthew hussey, If you want to respond to hers or my comment and give your input on that scenario, that would be helpful!

  4. Madison says:

    Hi Matthew,

    Thank you so much for your advice in this video. I loved the line that you gave in this video, and I will definitely be using it the next time I see this guy.

    I’m a little conflicted because, before I went ahead and got physical with this guy, I actually told him that I don’t get physical when I’m just getting to know someone, and then proceeded to go against my own standard.

    The problem in this situation is, not only did I go back on my standards, but I went back on my standards after I told this guy that I had them, and thanked him in advance for respecting them! Therefore, I’m worried that this guy is either going to think I’m a bipolar sex fiend, or that I’m insecure and couldn’t stick to my own standards. He even expressed that he was surprised that things went so far, right after I made myself out to be a prude.

    How can I recover from THAT? Can I still use the same line?

    Thank you, and best wishes.

  5. Karen says:

    Love Love Love this video!! Thank you for making me feel better about owning what I did and what to say to slow it down between us!! You are the Best!!

  6. aria says:

    Hello Matthew,
    I’ve been seeing this guy for about a month and after the third date we slept together. It’s a bit different from what you might think because I’m still a virgin- he knows this. I did enjoy my time and followed the advice, but I think I might have offended him or confused him and now he’s not really talking to me like how he used to. This guy has done nothing but be sweet and awesome and I would like to know what I could do to explain to him what I meant and want (take it a bit slowly) without sounding desperate or too detached.
    Thank you. Would greatly appreciate your help.

  7. Angela says:

    Hi Matt been seeing a great man for 10 months its great in many ways we have had a few conversations about commitment he always reminds “Im not ready for that level” but he tells me he loves me…which i havent said back to him…but told him he can rock my world…so he knows but just not said it…we have grown closer and he admits that – he was hurt very bad by an ex-wife she cheated and had a baby with another man he was hurt we had a good talk about it and I feel he just has issues with moving forward we’ve tried to cut it off several times during this year and one of us always comes back ….even if we have seen other people – im so confused and dont know which way to go and all your advice seems to be good but im just worried about wasting my time on this one but hes got me hooked and I really feel in my heart …not just saying this that we have a connection and it will work out one day even a dear male friend i have that i console in tells me he will see us at the alter one day…but then somedays tells me not to waste my time…i dong know what to think…i feel hes doing a reverse get the girl on me sometimes and just dont know where to go with it all – I do very much care for him and we have an explosive relationship on one level (like no other before & hes said the same to me) Im lost in all this and feel i need to make a drastic move in one direction and stick to it this video i just watched above made me think for the first time there may be hope for both of us in this either it will stand the test or fail either way something needs to happen and its time going on 1 year in January we’ve been doing all this – Angela

  8. Susanna says:

    Thank you, thank you, thank you Matt!

    Great video!

    I’ve just starting dating a lovely guy and after 2 weeks of dating (3 fun dates total after our initial first meeting), it felt right to go to the next step of sleeping together.

    It was great and he treated me with so much respect and love. However I have to admit that the day after, I felt much anxiety and fear of being judged or disrespected by him.

    Anyway your point is well taken and I think it’s great advice for women to own their actions and feel good about themselves and sex.

    p.s. your coaching videos have been so helpful for me through this initial early stage of dating. I’ve learnt so much about how men really think and feel and how taking the high value road will always win.

    thank you

  9. DONNA FLORES says:

    The explanation is very short but it did explains well. Thanks!

  10. Lily says:

    Love this video! Had a very recent experience similar to this. And you’re so right, we can reset your boundaries. When I did, he was all over it. :-)

    Just my 2 – cents: I like videos that are short and to the point. I like to watch your 5 – min clips over and over. Your long videos are quite painful to watch and I usually end up watching just halfway through. I’m sure they’re great videos but they just don’t fit well with busy professionals like myself. I’d like to be able to listen to your short clips while I’m getting ready for work, having a coffee or on a little break. I’m sure there are those women who share the same sentiments so I really really appreciate it when you try to keep your videos short and sweet. Cheers!

  11. Sheena says:

    Love this video. It speaks volume yet it’s very enduring. However, I must add, if a woman has standards and thinks of having sex too soon as a regret, just don’t do it. Living with regret is a huge load to carry and takes away the fun you just experienced with someone you’re obviously attracted to. It’s not a regret, it’s just a bad decision or a good decision at the wrong time. Just my thoughts…

  12. Yvonne Leonard says:

    Good video, thanks Matt, quick question? Please tell me how to avoid the emotionally unavailable men? Its obviously something that I do, lol Yvonne xx

  13. Helly says:

    Matt I feel you have held my hand & heart through out the last year since discovering your spot on common sense wise advise & helped me to find the real me that was hiding behind rejection hurt betrayal & low confidence in myself. The butterfly who flys after her wings have been damaged I was gutted after buying ticket I wasn’t able to attend London seminar (terminal illness) next time for sure so I can give you a one size fits all HUG :) thanku to an old soul for inspiring my heart to feel & accept again love & peace Helly x

  14. darrigirl says:

    In theory, this seems like it would work. But if you’ve only seen the guy for 3 weeks and slept with him sooner than you usually do, now bringing up, “this isn’t what I normally do without knowing what direction this is going”. That is the classic line that scares guys away, is it not? “Where is this going?” I would think most guys would hear,” I’m not going to have more sex with you until I know what direction this is going” as being pushed into a relationship and then run the other way. Matthew, please advise. I just think the tactic you advise could backfire terribly. Let me know your thoughts. -Darri

    • PaigeinATX says:

      The wording that Matthew uses is if Im not sure where its going etc…not asking the person directly “where is this going’? which can put a person on the defensive…but also in the new book he had scripts to ask “what’s you intention”? which was asked of him and the follow up was classic…which again doesn’t put the man on the defensive ( I remember Matthew saying that it first alarmed him but the follow up put him at ease and set a standard and more respect in his eyes)

  15. Jullie says:

    I love your talks and i know with the various tips and coaching am better and smarter in te dating scene


  16. Nargis Patel says:

    This is really going to help me. I really like this guy. Going to meet him 3rd time today. He has shown lot of intrest in me and I am very much attracted to him. But I want to make it very clear to him that I wouldn’t feel comfortable having sex with him, without knowing where this relationship is going towards. But at the same time I do not want to push him away.

  17. Cybill says:

    I love your advice. I think I may have found a suitable candidate, so I plan to relisten to my previous videos over the next few weeks. #Mathew can get me where I want to be

  18. DEBORAH says:

    Thats the best line ever , i will surely use it, i will keep u posted onthe out comes

  19. Sandi says:

    what if the guy won’t ask for another date and don’t want to go out with us anymore if we say like that ?

  20. Annie says:

    Thank you. That’s just what I needed to hear and understand. Your wisdom not only helps me, but helps me help my daughter as well! You are wise beyond your years.

  21. Jenna Jacobs says:

    I’ve actually never had a one night stand. I tend to have more trouble on the front end of this. Men have been very persuasive for me to come home with them. I do what you teach. I express my desire and I state my standards and then I inspire him to meet up with me later. I then have had men get very assertive and say that “I am too guarded and that I need to ease up and not let the men of my past keep me scared.” Or they threaten “I could meet my future wife tomorrow and you would have missed your chance with me.”

    I know of course that these men are complete feces but would this be apparent had I not said no?

    I now have been thinking of having a one night stand (on my own terms). How can I make sure that I am not sleeping with one of these jerks if I am saying yes to the offer?

  22. Anna says:

    Hi Matthew,

    First off I just want to say that I’m SO glad I found your channel. You are just incredible and your advice is so so good.
    I have a question- this has really been bothering me and it’s so frustrating I just had to put this comment out there even though the chance of you actually replying is very small.
    So there’s this guy I met online. We met up and we really hit it off. In my eyes he was just PERFECT- handsome, sweet, good morals, all in 1 package. After we met up he asked for my number and texted me almost every single day the following week. Then we met up a second time, and that didn’t go so well- we just didn’t click as well as we did before.
    A couple of days after that he offered to help me with something and we agreed to meet up at a certain time. He then texted me when we were supposed to meet and told me he couldn’t have texted me earlier because his phone died, and that something urgent came up and he can’t come. He never apologized and never tried to make it up to me. He hasn’t texted me since then and I’ve not contacted him since either.
    I don’t know what this means because I really felt like I was receiving signals from him that indicated that he’s intrested. He’d poke me jokingly, touch my arm when we’d talk, stand close to me, etc. But I don’t know what changed. I really really like him… But I feel like he’s in the wrong here since he stood me up and didn’t even bother to apologize. What should I do? Do you think he was ever interested or was he just playing?

    Thank you and it would be so amazing if you’d answer!

    • TazOne1 says:

      Ok Anna, if u wrote this here, that means u got too emotionally invested in him.

      For the way u write about him, after the 2nd date something happens to both of u. It seems to me u messed up in the 2nd date in terms of standards or in a scarcity mindset. Since u described him as “PERFECT”, that might triggered the “I should keep this guy around cuz he is a keeper” mindset, and then ur “true personality” didn’t come up, making u less atractive in his eyes. (maybe that’s why u have the feeling u didn’t click this time).

      So, to sum up, Was he insterested? Yeap, definitly (poking, touching, texting u a lot). So he then:
      a)Somehow lost insterested during the 2nd date and bellowed u to a NON Relationship potencial.

      b)Maybe something really bad happens to him or to his circle of friends/family, so he has all his atention focus in that subject.

      -To me, if the former is the case, just move on, next him unless u only want a Friends with Benefits relationship or a similar category. The fact that u didn’t have a great second date, plus in terms of standards he also didn’t apologize to u, u will hand down too much power trying to reaching him out.

      -If the latter is the case, just call him and ask him what really happened to him (since u really like him, u should be truly worried for him, instead of just waiting for an apology), and then wait (in a proactive way: focus on ur hobbies and job, keep going out with ur friends, flirt with other guys) for him to see the light of whatever he is passing through.

      Hope that helps Anna!

  23. Daniella says:

    This was a very good tip and I loved all the information u gave!! Love it!

  24. Kate says:

    Most of the guys that i meet only seem to want sex and some want me on a more serious level, why is this, is it me or them? Thank you
    Kate xx

  25. Yavone Carson says:

    love this how to back track once slept with guy Spontaneous!! Never done it, however want to change that!

  26. Lynda says:

    Fantastic advice, big help, I did this, so thank you so much

  27. Laurie says:

    Love it! I appreciate the idea of owning your actions and not regretting anything and still being able to assert a standard at any time during the development of a budding relationship. Thank you, Matt.

  28. Eva Koudela says:

    Hey, Thanks, I’m sure the gods sent you this time, pefect timing. lol


  29. Kim Gifts says:

    As always…totally on point.

  30. Stefanie says:

    So helpful. Thank you!! I can’t wait to use this and assert my standard while still owning what already happened

  31. Rhonda Charles says:

    Love this Mathew! Great advise as always!

  32. Deborah says:

    Love you Matt! Always such common sense advice. i don’t think I’ll be making this mistake. It’s been about 3 years since my last encounter as it’s hard to find quality, single men in their 50s where I live but you have rekindled my faith in the possibility :). Here’s to me shagging someone too soon! Lol!


  33. Mimi says:

    Thank you so much Matthew! This is the perfect thing to say. It’s natural and easy. I can’t wait to try it

  34. Sue salas says:

    Great advice. Never would have thought of putting it that way.

  35. Yena says:

    Really liked this video.
    It’s something that we all… as a girl could relate to.
    Thank you Mathew, I think you are great. I hope you are as nice guy as you appear to be in all of your videos.

  36. Debbie says:


    Can’t thank you enough for this video – I did exactly this ‘slept with him too skin’s. I am owning it and don’t regret a minute of it but now I know what to say to him next time! Perfect solution as I was racking my brains… I think that line is sassy,sexy and empowering for a guy to hear. At the same time I know he will be back for more . Keep up the good work for us all girls out there. Debs x

  37. Susan says:

    “We make a living by what we get, but we make a life by what we give.” – Mr Winston Churchill. Whatever state you’re in, or perceive you are in, it doesn’t matter: identify something you can give, and do it. Me… accident, I couldn’t walk much, look down, (functionally quite restricted) or drive for a time (7 months or so), but I could ring my friends on their birthday and sing, really sing, Happy Birthday for them (close friends, old friends, family, slightly estranged friends). Sing my best with all the love I have inside of me, and wish them a great year ahead. They were stoked. Bonus, I stayed connected and reignited connections in a meaningful way, whilst restricted and struggling with my own situation, and sometimes fearing for my future. I bet you can think of something you can give,from what you’re got, a platform to give it from. Joy-making; life-shaping.

    • Susan says:

      Whoops, my share above was meant for Matt’s, 5 ways to enjoy being single video with Louis Howse. Worth the watch, thanks guys, x.

  38. Dawn says:

    Ahhhhh! I really wish I had this YEARS AGO, but I’m glad I know it now. Thank you Matt!

  39. Marilyn L. Armstrong says:

    I love your honesty and bluntness I enjoy the view through your eyes, I love all of your information.
    Thank you,

  40. Jennifer Lisette says:

    Hi Matt,

    Listening to this makes me think how this could also apply to another type of scenario which happened to me a few years ago when I revealed my feelings to a guy I have known for years and for some reasons an attraction began when we got closer. I soon felt that I ruined the whole friendship by revealing my feelings too soon! That was a big life lesson for me! What I was mostly proud about this whole thing is that I owned it by realizing firstly that attraction do happen, it is not predicted or planned and secondly I preserved my dignity. Like you said it is not my style to go around and tell men I am attracted to them. I am glad to hear you talk about this issue.

  41. Pascale says:

    Thank was very useful information I’m seeing a guy next week who I saw about twelve weeks ago and whom I did sleep with … I did own it but I was not lovey dovey the next day … We’ve known each other over twenty years … It’s complicated

    • TazOne1 says:

      Pascale, if u haven’t texted each others during those twelve weeks, he probably is expecting sex with u.

      So if u want something more from him, its time to test Matthew’s line. >-)

  42. Paula Poissant says:

    This was a terrific video this week Matthew! It was exactly what I needed to hear. Whelk first saw the title of the video, my blood chilled! My immediate thought was, how does he know? Then I thought ” uh oh” who is this guy and how does he know?
    When I finally came to my realization that there would be no way you’re going to know,and this video goes out to thousands, I said ” ok, I’ll watch ”
    Great suggestion on what to say for next date! And, I was already feeling ashamed of myself for sleeping with him so soon. Your words were exactly spot on!!
    I would like to know if there is a video you have about kissing when the other person uses too much tongue! What does a person say to not hurt his ego?
    Great job, love your video chats!!

  43. Helen says:

    Hi Matt. You are so right. What is the point of regretting sexual interaction if it has already taken place. You were turned on and enjoyed it. One can establish at anytime where a relationship is going. Never too late to do that.

    • Matthew Hussey says:

      I agree Helen, as long as you are living up to your standard in the process, and not being led along by a false promise a relationship later on.

  44. jorgie says:

    I like what you and yes owning what your action is gives you the respect. I must say though its hard to read guys thought and find the right. he seems sincere.
    when is the right time to introduce him to my family. Next weekend his meeting one of my bff and close friends from my work.

    thank you for your videos

    • TazOne1 says:

      Jorgie, if u already have an emotional connection between u both, and u have had sex (1 to 3 times) its a really good moment for him to meet the family.
      For he to meet ur friends, could be before that, since sometimes friends (if they are good ones) make u more attractive to him.

  45. Lo says:

    Your eyebrows are a-mazimg! Seriously. A little off topic I know, but it has to be noted… I was literally hypnotized by them in that video! Good one btw, thank you.

  46. Eric Grosch says:

    Speaking as a guy, when a woman consents to sex, then back-pedals, as you recommend, it would register with me as a disappointment because of her having second thoughts and grave doubts and that the likelihood is that she probably doesn’t like me enough to continue and I should probably move on. The vague, nebulous bits about “direction” need more specificity to have meaning. What are examples of “direction” that you have in mind that should be considered? Nobody knows what the future holds and what the conclusion of a romantic encounter will be. Sex is nature’s way of fostering interpersonal bonding. Partners should enjoy the moment as it happens. If sex be inadequate because of other considerations, for bonding, then there’s probably no there there, in the first instance, and the “direction” of the partners should be away from each other.

  47. Wendy says:

    Wo! Spot on, Matt! :)

  48. Carie says:

    Thank you for your opinions. Definitely helps a lot.

  49. Christy says:

    Hi Matthew. What if he said we had a great time but I am having a lot on my plate now and we might not be a good match? What should I say to persuade him?

    • TazOne1 says:

      Christy, the way u describe the situation makes me thing u are a female player (maybe an alpha one o_O). I understand for:

      -“But I am having a lot on my plate now” that u have a lot of rotation of guys.
      -“And we might not be a good match” that u aren’t interested enough in him as a Long Term Relationship partner (maybe just as a lover).

      So why bother investing time in trying to persuade him if u already have options. Seems to me u only want him as an orbiter (for seeking validations purpose).

      Not really an answer, but more an observation.
      Hope it helps!

  50. lulu says:

    Enjoyed your video this week, as I enjoy them most weeks! Quick question – can this pivot technique work in a situation of prolonged intimacy without being in a relationship (several years) but where we have now acknowledged feelings but have still not taken the step to a committed relationship?

    • TazOne1 says:

      lulu of course u can, but u should reframe the line to fill ur long term FWB(Friends with Benefits) relationship. Something along the lines: “I’ve really enojoyed all these years as (input relationship name), but this isn’t the usual me, is just we have such good (emotional connection / sexual chemistry/ both) that i don’t want u to see me only for (the matters)”

      If he is in the same place as u, good, u had a lot of courage u help ur realationship to get to the next level. If not he doesn’t deserve more of ur time to invest on him.

      *I would rather try to imply in very subtle ways that u have options (other men in rotation), while every time u are with him u are adding value to his life, but being a bit vague about ur personal things (dont tell all the things that are happening in ur life).

      Take care and good luck!

  51. Suzanne B Nauertz says:

    Matt love hearing your comments about moving to fast. I am w/ or seeing a guy whom works a lot but also likes his friend + family time. I only c him 2 times a month. Very difficult for me to read him. We both have amazing love making, I want more but don’t want to push him, his wife left him after 7years . I’m just not sure what to say to him to see him more often. Any ideas? Love your speaking Mathew

    • TazOne1 says:

      Suzanne, if he is seeing u only 2 times a month, u are not a priority in his life, as Matt has explained in other videos.
      I think u might broke ur standards at some point (or maybe u are still doin it).

      He might just want to hang out and have great sex with u, 7 years is a lot of time, if he hasnt mentioned the “relationship subject” already, he is probably getting fun with other girls to.

      Try to add more value to his life every time u are with him (besides sex), do that by also being vague about ur personal life (dont let him know too much about u), and start to see other guys, that will help to dettach a little and not being too conscious about the subject (that will help to be in the moment when u’re whith him).

      Good luck Suzanne, hope the best
      Take care!

  52. Tori says:

    Omg, Matthew! I have waited so long for you to address this issue. Thank you, thank you, thank you! It makes so much sense the way you describe it.I love this.I think you are AMAZING!

  53. Ha says:

    Dear Matthew Hussey,
    I really stuck in my relationship and I don’t know if you can see my comment or not, but if you did, please help me out. My boyfriend and I met each other for the first time after 2 years talk through Internet. We slept after 2 days we met and talked , then we felt in love so quickly. We traveled together a lot, we even went to overseas together, and his family came to my house to see my mom. He went to USA with me, but one day, he just ignore me, and he doesn’t say love me when I asked. He already divorced with his ex-wife but he has a little cute girl. He said I still have bright future and his life was end. He just need finish his school then come back to his hometown to take care of his parents. He told everyone that he gone look for other girl, but he still so nice and taking care of me, and we still have s**. I don’t know what to do. Is he still love me? Should I move on?? Thank you.

    • TazOne1 says:

      Hi Ha! This situation sounds hard, since i feel there is somethings missing.

      I will focus on what u actually put here:

      “then we felt in love so quickly”
      I think this is what actually happens, but after 2 years a lot of things can happen, and the feelings of love aren’t so hard to change.
      This is still a hard affirmation, could be just one sided, but we won’t focus on that since i feel am missing context here.

      “and he doesn’t say love me when I asked”
      U shouldn’t request anyone for verbally love confirmation, he could say he loves u when u ask him and he wouldn’t exactly mean it.
      I would like to think he doesn’t reply to this cuz he actually doesn’t know, but also could be that he doesn’t want to tell u the truth.

      “He told everyone that he gone look for other girl”
      What girl?, his daughter?, another girlfriend?

      “but he still so nice and taking care of me”
      -What is actually being nice with u?,
      -And what do u mean when u say he takes care of u? Economically?

      “and we still have s**”
      This is relevant in terms of self-love and strong standars, if u still have sex with him, knowing he is with other women (if this is the case) and wanting a monogamous relationship with him, u handed down all ur power woman.

      Reply with more info if u can.
      Anyway Good luck!

  54. Veronica says:

    Hi Mathew, in the clip you mentioned that it’s never too late to reassert your standards at any point in a relationship. I’ve been with my boyfriend for 2 years and although our relationship is great for the most part, we have our moments where we argue, and I feel that a certain aggressive nature emerges in him (nothing violent or abusive or anything),but he yells as if he was arguing with another guy and not a woman – very loud and aggressive in nature. To me this behavior is hurtful and is really limiting my desire to take the next step with him (although we talk about it all the time). My question is, even though I’ve discussed with him how much his yelling during tough times affects me, he still continues to do it in heated moments, and since I’ve allowed it for so long, how do I reinforce this boundary, even though he has already crossed it numerous times in the past?

    • TazOne1 says:

      Hi Veronica, u’re right, of course u can reassert ur standards at any point of ur relationship, when it has happened for a prolong period of time is a bit harder though. U need a lot of courage and a neutral face (maybe poker face, the idea is to be NON reactive) when u set ur standards.

      U can use NLP (Neurolinguistic Programming), there is a 4 steps method to do it:
      1)Inform in a one on one situation in cold (non reactive), what bothers u. Ex: “This thing u did actually hurt me”.
      2)Repeat in a neutral way the situation that bothered u.
      3)Insist and Warn, after u insist in cold, u warn the person u will leave (or do any other action u find reasonable) the room/area u are.
      4)U leave.

      *Most people that actually cares about u, will stop at (2), but if u get to (4), u will have to reframe what u actually will do here or punish him (to define by u). If the latter, he doesn’t really cares about u.

      Hope u Good Luck Veronica
      Take Care!

  55. Alexis says:

    Hello Matthew, I just watched this video about sleeping with a guy a too soon. Exactly what you said is what I went through. The only problem is haven’t spoken to him for a month now. I want to admit that I did sleep with him really soon, but I don’t want to come across as a desperate woman. Secondly, I am upset with him ever since I saw him at a stop light when I yelled out his name and he responded with is head nodding which I thought was a jerk move.

    • TazOne1 says:

      Hi Alexis!
      I would want to know more about the background here, Did u sleep too soon with him and then u never know about him (one month ago)?

      I ask u for more details, since sometimes, men are also weird in how they express their emotions. If he hasn’t contact until now, probably he will contact u when he wants to have sex with u again, and to preserve the FB (fuck buddy) status. (a)
      Or maybe he doesn’t want to sound needy or desperate about “entering in something more seerious” TALK, so then hopefully he will wating for u to reach out. (b)

      -I would say, about a 10% men will enter in (b), cuz its a rare case scenario.
      -The rest will enter in the (a) category.

      Let me know the context here Alexis, and tell me how it went.
      Take care!

      • Alexis says:

        Well the chemistry and connection was great! The sex was hot! I suddenly started to realize that I started getting into the same habits I did a long time ago. Whenever I had sex with somebody who I was attracted to, I started to become fearful and clingy. Honestly, I didn’t regret doing it with because I was attracted to him and the same applied with him. He told me not over think it and I decided not to.

        • TazOne1 says:

          That sounds great Alexis, for what i understand, this guy actually keeps in touch with u. And don’t worry about feeling fearful and clingy (all signs of needeness), we ‘re programmed to feeling this way, just don’t get stall. Emotions eventually passes, try doing some meditation to focus ur attention in other things.

          Take care and have a great day!

  56. Odette Wilkens says:

    This is the best video so far. Logical and great advice!

  57. Susan says:

    Thank you for this video Matthew. I have had this situation happen to me and I usually don’t hear too often from the guy afterwards even when we had a great time. It’s very hurtful. Sex too soon in my opinion ruins the chance of any possible monogamous relationship in the future. It’s better to wait for a long time when the guy has invested in you and shown that he is worth giving yourself to. Guys are so quick to want sex even if they have no intention of a relationship and they hardly know you.

    • TazOne1 says:

      Hi Susan, let me see if i get it right.

      “I usually don’t hear too often from the guy afterwards even when we had a great time”

      -Why would u want to hear from a guy if u didn’t have a great time with him in the 1st place? (romantically speaking of course)

      “Sex too soon in my opinion ruins the chance of any possible monogamous relationship in the future”

      It seems having sex too soon, its a repetitive bad experience to u about developing a long term relationship with a man.
      Here is the problem: is not about how fast u have sex with a guy, is about how much value u give to a guy in an attractive way (having a very feminine vibe, being not needeness, and being vague in regard to your personal life, and not hand down ur standards). If u’re contributing a lot in a man’s life and he isn’t returning ur investment, he doesn’t deserved a shot with u.
      The feelings of love appears when u aren’t with the person u’re interest in. The other person actually starts to miss ur company and how u make him feel.

      Hope that helps Susan, best luck for u!

  58. Ruchika says:

    I really love your view on this matter. you gave me an idea which step I should take next to get the control of my situation. keep up the good work.

Read previous post:
Never Eat Alone?

Matt’s thought for the weekend… I just had brunch on my own in the West Village. It was lovely. I...