Hey it’s Matt,
I made this video from my bedroom balcony on my Retreat on Clearwater beach.
It’s day two of the programme right now, three more to go! The changes so far have already been beautiful to watch. We had a woman who was so terrified of public speaking that she broke down in tears at the thought of it.
Within the space of 5 minutes she was on stage giving a speech. There were literally gasps in the
room followed by huge applause at how quickly she went from tears to confidence.
And that was just the second day!
In aid of this moment I decided to make a spontaneous video about stage fright. The cool part about it is that it can be used in situations with men that normally make you nervous too.
Question of the day:
What situation do you often find yourself in in your life where you would like to be more confident? Tell me in the comments below!
P.S. If you want more information on my 5 days retreats, you can check it out here.
The next Retreats are in Clearwater beach Florida this October and Palm springs California in December. Spaces are limited so apply now while they are available!
If you haven’t pre-ordered your copy of the GetTheGuy book in the United States, you can do it here: Amazon / Barnes & Noble
64 Replies to “How To Deal With Stage Fright”
Absolutely brilliant advice. How often have I been deterred from doing “stuff” because I thought I wasn’t going to be the best?! It really holds you back. This way of thinking is empowering. Yesterday I did some DIY for the first time EVER and it was an A-MA-ZING experience; I thought I’d be rubbish at it, but today I’ve decided to build some cupboard shelves! Looking forward to more of your insightful videos Matt. And as for that view….!! X
I used to suffer from the same problem. But if you allow yourself to start at average, you can work up to outstanding!
Yep that’s true!!!I beat myself up all the time for making this small error, that small error that I dun enjoy my life as much. Thank you so much for this video!!! Hahaha the freedom of not being perfect xxx Be your average for the new day!!! x
Hi Matthew. Beautiful sky in Clearwater!!! Thank you for the video and this useful piece of advice. It seems obvious but it is not. I still need to improve my confidence in myself as far as rejection is concerned. I am much better at accepting rejection from a guy I am interested in but I am still not at ease when I am about to reject a nice guy who is attracted to me and shows me clearly that he would like to see me more. I feel a real big pressure; I can feel it on the psychological and physical level. I want to do in a very nice way not hurting his feelings. Right now I have accepted a second date with a guy although I was not sure about it. I always thought I should cancel the date, but the more I wait the most difficult it gets. So when it is definitely too late, I have to go to that date… and I am not at my best… so I guess I will do the best I can (… average!!). Thank you Matt. Take care Big hug from Switzerland
I already have the guy :)
But I got myself a new job. And I will be giving presentations to a lot of people.
I know I will grow in it, but I tend to get really nervous (because I’m a perfectionist, I suppose) and also start to blush a lot in public…
I will remind your advise.
And hope it will help.
It sounds calming to me :)
Nice one Sofie, I guarantee it will help : )
They ‘magic word is’ AVARAGE!
It means to be medium. But what does medium really evoke in us?
It means the middle and on a subconscious level we are summing ourselves up … guess where? ;-)
….. in our … CENTER!!!
To speak, to feel and to live life from one’s center is the most authentic place to be. This is why I can see perfectly what Matt is stating here about exceeding expectations.
Thanks for sharing!
Good advice Matt. So much pressure can be put onto someone’s shoulders when they’re expected to go out there and do their absolute best, which can be a deterrent in the first place – especially for the introverted type.
I am hoping to find ways of overcoming my ‘stage fright’ and timidness now that I seem to have a man in my life.
Enjoy the rest of the program, Matt, and congratulations to the woman who overcame her shyness for public speaking.
Thanks T! x
Thanks for video, brilliant advice. I’m quite a reserved & quiet person, which can come across as shyness. Always put pressure on myself as never thought I was that good at anything. But now I will always think go & just be myself. Thank you :-) xx
thankyou for this blogggg… <3
I was going to ask you the exact same thing. Ive liked this guy for the past 4 years. call it a crush but its not fading away. he was my senior in college. whenever i saw him in the past 4 years. which was just thrice, i was too shy to go up and say hi to him.. blame his gorgeous brown eyes! but two days ago i bumped into him… after good half an hour of struggle, i did manage to say hi and he was all hi how are you too… i was running out of what to say to him… he hates talking about work outside work so i didnt know what to ask him… plus 4 years, i dont know what to ask him really… suggestions please.
2ndly, in all of the 4 times ive met him. I am the one who always says hi. he never does. when i met him two days ago, i saw him looking at me but didnt say hi… then i had to make the move but does that mean, he is not interested? and i should top trying? he never inboxes me when he comes on facebook even… i dont either… but i want to get some progress. its been 4 years, i dont want to loose him and then regret it… i tihnk he is the shy sort. what to do!
YOU ARE MY GURU. HELPPPPPPP!!!!
I love all ur advice thanks Matt, i’m a bit more confident now than i used to be..i’m still very shy tho and this does go against me, but i’m going to try out what you said in ur video
Clearwater and surrounding area are just magical. I’ve been there several times. I used to be terrified of getting up in front of people when I was younger. I did a Dale Carnegie course about a few hundred years back and it did me well. But since my divorce 2.5 years ago I had to recondition myself to get back there in the land of the brave. I’ve come a long way and not doing too bad but have my moments of fearfulness of not being perfect. This video will be a good reminder of allowing myself to be average and hopefully wonderful things will happen as a result. Thank you Matthew and thank you for the sunset. Haven’t seen that view in quite some time. X
would love to be more confident while having presentations and while talking to guys. When I have presentations I’m so scared that I end up having a really bad performance in front of everyone and only want to finish it as fast as possible. Thats not even the worst my voice is shaking all the time while I do them as well.
I’m getting better with talking to guys but I still get really nervous, while talking to those I feel attracted to.
Back at high school I was quite an outsider, introverted, being nervous about doing whatever in public…then at college I don’t know what happened to me, but I suddenly decided I didn’t wanna stay at the back, so I pushed myself into situations where I knew I would have to challange myself. so I joined one of student clubs where I had to speak in front of hundreds of other students in English (foreign language for me;). I was freekin nervous, but I did it, went well, so I did it again and again…at grad school I was already recognized as student leader and the uni is now inviting me to come over and mentor and coach students…you simply have to find some motivation inside and then actually make a quick decision and just do it.
so I have no fear of public speaking now, though I do have respect for it, so I always carfully prepare…anyway, I still need to work on approaching guys I like and behaving naturally, still ain’t good in this. but I keep trying, it’s like I’m in my testing period now, it will bring results soon :)
I’d actually like to be more confident with a guy I know. Im usually very confident and outgoing but he kind of intimidates me so I feel like Im not my usual self around him which is very annoying.
I find myself really unconfident, uncomfortable and even scared in places like night clubs and such. There are just so many people trying to talk to each other and the music is so loud you can’t even hear your own thoughts let alone someone else speaking.
So what typically happens is that I gradually fall out of every conversation and end up just sitting there awkwardly while everyone else is yelling something to one another. I really don’t have the guts to join in on any conversation either because people tend to get so overpowering and I don’t know how to fight to get my word out. Me being a near teetotaler might have something to do with this of course, but I refuse to start drinking just to feel more confident in clubs. Any ideas on how to work the night life like the high confident, high value woman I am?
I am actually going through the same thing. People in night clubs and bars are so obnoxiously loud here in the U.S…the guys act like frat boys and the girls seemed to have lost their femininity. It’s not like I am softspoken or anyhting ,but I do feel I have to put on an act to get approached. Last time I went to a bar I did an experiment where I decided to be just as loud as the other girls…and that’s when the heads started turning and people wanted to talk to me. Maybe Matt can us understand .)
Thanks for the advice, I’m gonna give it a shot! I’m very good with people on a one to one basis, put me in amongst a group and I clam up! I’ve always found it really frustrating as I love socialising and have so much to give but due to my stage fright i tend to come across as shy with little to contribute! I sooooo want to change this! Your video has been really helpful as It has made me realise I do put too much pressure on myself to be the ultimate social butterfly straight away! I’m gonna take things a step at a time, work on creating some positive reference points and see how I go! :)
Great advice, as usual. Thank you for being you.
AND…I was at your LA event where you were giving all that attended a copy of your book…still waiting and Im dying to read it!!!!!
I am a lifetime professional in Hollywood. But behind the camera not in front. I do really well in directing people past stage fright. But recently I have had to speak on camera to share this instruction and wow. It’s so much easier to give my advice than to take it. I love your work but specifically two recent posts yesterday’s with the music video about making cardboard castles and today’s vid sharing Osmands refocus on doing an average job were truly breakthrough for me. Thank you for being that little push that can make all the difference.
My pleasure Dee. Thanks for taking the time to leave your thoughts!
That’s good advice! I’ll have to use that in building relationships with people, especially men! Building relationships with people has been my biggest problem, but just learning to be more confident, being myself, and not worrying about what others may think has been a great Improvment so far.
Thank You for great advice Matt!
I was just thinking about this last night! I don’t necessarily get stage fright but I am a perfectionist and a planner. I will plan down to the word what I’m going to say but have realized that is what makes me panic. I’ve really had to learn to just do it. I can plan until I’m blue in the face but just like in life things never go as planned. What helps me is telling myself “They are human just like you” I think we should all be human and average together
You only plan step by step by step the things that you fear Like my wedding for instance. I labelled the suitcases and every item in my make up bag (FACE EYES BHINDI) I got really really O C D You usually aren’t O C D about things that feel right 4 u It felt right at the beginnning & then it just took some strange strange turns. Like I’ve wanted to go back to Houst on ever since I got here. I was not living in the present. Because the present was too stressful . I’m sitting in front of a shoe box that says “British Walkers Power Stride ” I don’t remember who gave me this box at the wedding. I don’t remember my own wedding. iI remember someone saying “Kahdims but I don’t remember who …
Today I needed to hear that. I am having all kinds of trouble at work, and I am trying to “fix” everything by trying to be perfect. But I’m not perfect and never will be, and if this isn’t the job for me, then I can eventually find another place to work. Trying to be perfect and trying to do everything “right” makes us unable to do anything. : )
This is so true! I know exactly how you feel – have the same problem – wish to be perfect all the time, and fear to fail, which results in a more or less constant paralysis. I wish i knew how to get out of this vicious circle!
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