Hey it’s Matt,
I made this video from my bedroom balcony on my Retreat on Clearwater beach.
It’s day two of the programme right now, three more to go! The changes so far have already been beautiful to watch. We had a woman who was so terrified of public speaking that she broke down in tears at the thought of it.
Within the space of 5 minutes she was on stage giving a speech. There were literally gasps in the
room followed by huge applause at how quickly she went from tears to confidence.
And that was just the second day!
In aid of this moment I decided to make a spontaneous video about stage fright. The cool part about it is that it can be used in situations with men that normally make you nervous too.
Matthew x
Question of the day:
What situation do you often find yourself in in your life where you would like to be more confident? Tell me in the comments below!
P.S. If you want more information on my 5 days retreats, you can check it out here.
The next Retreats are in Clearwater beach Florida this October and Palm springs California in December. Spaces are limited so apply now while they are available!
If you haven’t pre-ordered your copy of the GetTheGuy book in the United States, you can do it here: Amazon / Barnes & Noble
I want to be more confident expressing my opinion. When someone is talking quite strongly about something, and assume I agree (because they assume anyone in their right mind would, kind of thing), I’m too passive. I’d like to be able to cut in and go ‘Wait. But I actually DON’T feel that way about it. This is what I think and why…”, but I never seem to be able to do that; I just think about it instead.
hmmmm
Wow… today I did try your advice and what a grate feeling going into the game, thinking do it avarge, and you know what, it was my best game for many years. I made 8 goals compaired with 2 or maybe 4 in one game. Normaly I do think, come on, you can do it, you can do better than last time, and then what I’m really doing, is hidding myself in the head with all my own expectations. So thank you Matt.
Cricket is fun. :)
This was exactly what I needed to hear right now! Thank you for all your videos and helpful advice. You’ve made a big difference in my life and I’m really looking forward to seeing you in person in Seattle!
Hi Matt. I work for large organisation where almost everyone aggressively tries to be visible. My stage fright is the order of the day i plan to try your methos out first chance i get — my goal is to find my voice.
yup.
Hi Matt.
Cecilie here. I Just felt inspired to leave you a comment on this subject. !! – forgive me if it’s a bit long, and honest. But here it goes.:)
I’m a singer and songwriter from Denmark, and I have struggled so horrible with this stage fear my whole entire life, ironically. :) I’ve been singing professionally since I was four years old, releasing cd’s performing on big stages, television shows ect. and everywhere I went I was told that I was the next BIG thing. I started to feel this huge amount of pressure around me, and I developed this false sense of confidence only enough to protect my own surface when I went on stage. Suddently stupid things started to matter, how I looked, how thin I was, what I should and should not do, and I completely lost the joy to it. It got so bad that I at age thirteen developed a difficult eating disorder, moved away from home to live on my own, and I went into a shell. For six years I did not sing, write, perform or create anything, and I began moving my life into new directions. In some ways it was good, cause I found a lot of new areas very exiting, but deep down I was actually sad, cause I knew that singing and writing was my true calling. The problem was that I was blocked in anger, I had the feeling that my identity had been stolen from me, that I didn’t have any controle and people just wanted me for who I was on the surface.
I was so sad and scared of people, and I needed a long time out from my own and other peoples expectations, goals and dreams for the future.
I then started in therapy and went once a week for four years. It took me tons of tears, break-ups with family, friends, expectations and relationships to rebuild my identity based on who I am as a person and what I can give instead of how I look or what I can achieve. In that process I started writing my own songs again but with a new perspective. Again I cried and screamed for months but at the end of the process I felt so extreamly relieved and inspired that wanted to contribute in some sort of way, and I began to do free workshops and counselings with people in writing music and creating storys.
Today I have made a living out of it, and I am back where I was ten years ago. I’m 25, have dropped my education as a occupational therapist in October last year to focus on getting in to the music conservatory in Denmark. I am ready to give my all to music, and to help and love everyone who is blocked in some sort of way.
I now work with a completely different motive and that is to contribute, to give and to speak my truth, where before it was to actually please everyone else. – and that is such a shitty a place to be, and THAT creates nerves.
Life became fantastic when I changed my perspective from wanting validation and approval to actually just live in giving and receiving to and from people and to be ok with the outcome.
I hope I don’t sound too cheasy:) – I just wanted to share how horrible nerves sometimes can damage you if they are born from other peoples expectations. Sometimes you have to go deeper…
Love to all… Cecilie
Wow.
I tend to be a perfectionist and a workaholic at times. Anytime performance reviews are given, I get pretty anxious and shaky. I’m going to try and apply this trick from now on and see how it goes! It sounds like a healthy way to self-talk yourself through any sort of challenge :).
Thanks for sharing, and I love the view!!! How awesome is that sky?!?!?
i want to be on the balcony of your bedroom with you
L O L
such brilliant advice! and so simple! thanks, Matt! xx
Amazing as always Matt.Thanks for sharing the Osmond anecdote.
:(
You look so handsome in this video. Thank you for all your advice. Take care! Hugs!
I always feel nervous before talking in front of a group of people. I know what I will be talking about, but I still feel quite nauseous ! I think I’m afraid of being stupid in front of them.
My nervousness calms down after a few minutes, but then I worry that if I stop talking, I will feel nervous at once ! So I keep talking until I’m finished ! :P At least, I’m not on the verge of tears anymore !
Thanks for the advice, Matt ! Take care !
x
Silence is golden” to process what you are feeling in any given moment and breathe and think and then speak. Talking and talking and talking is often a cover up for discomfort witin. Just because you talk a lot dont think that people can’t tell how you feel. Be honest with your emotions & you’ll be fine.
Hi matt..
thanks for this advice.. was really helpful.. :)
I just recently ran into my crush at the store and it was completely unexpected..! and I was so nervous, could barely get a few words out..
but now I know that if I do happen to meet him again randomly, I will be alright..
thank you again.. hope you continue making such awesome videos helping people worldwide..
x
God I love you. You’re amazing.
Just seen this video and its brilliant I have to speak at my brothers wedding on Saturday and was absolutely not looking forward to it until now
Thanks a million x
Nice video!
Since I am going to the temple tomorrow I am hoping to pray away my inanity. *insanity
UG.
Apparently I often find myself in marriage ceremonies that I’m not actually supposed to be IN.
That’s amazing advice! I like the way you collate the really good stuff out there, as well as create :-)
Matt, this vlog couldn’t have come at a more better time. On Saturday I will be doing Kareooke. I haven’t done it since I was 12 years old and I am now 24. I will be going with the guy I like (though I’m not sure if he knows of my feelings) and I will be meeting all of his friends (so its a double whammy). I have problems being on stage or even giving speeches to classmates (to the point where I shake, blush and my voice fades in and out) much less meeting a whole bunch of new people. While I am currently looking forward to doing kareooke/meeting his friends on Saturday I know that when it finally rolls around I will be feeling the complete opposite. Your words will be in my mind that it is okay to be average, that way I don’t have too much pressure on my mind ;) THANKS!