The Brave Way to Overcome Your Heartbreak

If you’re feeling the pain of heartbreak right now, this week’s video will put you on the path of recovery. There’s a high chance you’ll instantly feel a little better after watching it. 

What’s One Way You Choose to Be Brave Through Heartbreak?
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You’ve got to cut it off now, and give yourself time. And be kind to yourself. Don’t beat yourself up because you’re still thinking about someone who meant something to you. That’s human. What you’re feeling is human.

You’re not wrong for experiencing pain. Someone breaks your heart, it hurts. And my brain right now is wired to go to this person for connection, even though they’re not there anymore.

Too many people get left in a relationship where they’re still convincing themselves, “But he’s the one.” If someone doesn’t want to be there, they cannot be that person for you. It’s not your guy.

We always say we want closure, but when someone gives us that level of closure, that’s not an easy thing to hear. The only closure you ever need is, “You don’t want me. You’re not sure.” That’s closure. I don’t need to know anything else. I do not need to know anything else. That is the only closure I need.

And if he calls you or texts you out of the blue, you have that right to say to him, “Listen, it’s not good for me right now to have this communication, because I’m trying to repair myself. I’m trying to overcome this and I’m trying to build a life.”

You have to focus all of your time and attention now on building where you’re going, like ruthless, ruthless, right? Stop worrying about what’s back there.

Just because your heart is injured right now, it doesn’t mean you shouldn’t do all of the things that build up your life, your energy, your body. Day by day, rewire. I’m going to start creating new connections in my brain.

So you do everything else to get strong even while your heart is still healing, whether it’s going to the gym, whether it’s spending time with friends, whether it’s connecting more with family, whether it’s going on a date with someone else that has potential, that reminds us that there is potential out there. That means when your heart comes back online, your life is ready to go.

It’s a brave thing to do to keep that magic in you even after you’ve been hurt.

It’s okay to be disappointed that someone didn’t turn out to be the person that you needed, but what you mustn’t do is grieve as though they were the one.

9 Texts No Man Can Resist

37 Responses to The Brave Way to Overcome Your Heartbreak

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  1. Tamara says:

    I lost my 3 year relationship and my job as a tenured professor at the beginning of COVID-19. The isolation is making it hard to recover, and not to think of him. I found an online job and force myself to exercise and find some laughter in every day. The hardest part is that so am 54 and feel like he was my last chance at a relationship.

  2. Delores says:

    I’m trying to do this I have a person who so rude he allows his son to swear at me I want to leave but I be honest I’m scared I love him and yes he does not me he is younger I’m 60 he is 47 going on 16 I need to get away but I don’t want to lose him everyday I wake up I ask god way does he wake me up I not worth anything I hate myself so much sincerely Delores

  3. Ella says:

    One way that I am going to overcome heartbreak is to focus on connecting with family and building relationships. I am also going to be focusing on speaking my feelings and be my own cheerleader when things get tough.


    Thank you so much, this is the best advice ever

  5. A says:

    The article, “The Brave Way to Overcome Your Heartbreak”, has been more helpful to me than you know! Thank you for addressing this tough time in a very straightforward way that helps me process my thoughts.

  6. Oyin. says:

    Thank U so much Coach May.

    Your advice, your videos, your words are stronger than rocks to me and have actually helped me move on in my life in relationship and other aspects. I shared this particular link to a couple of my friends and guess what, they were so grateful as they could now have bearings on how to move on with their lives after their recent Heartbreaks.
    Thanks once again, Coach Mat.


  7. Ana Lilia Ramos Jurado says:

    Honestly Matthew, all your emails, your videos, your advice it’s been taking me so far on my path of healing from my heartbreak. I can’t stretch it enough how helpful you’ve been on helping me get on the right path to managing my relationships and heartaches.

  8. Ira says:

    Thank you Matthew
    I’ve been dealing with this for quite a while now, and I can’t help wandering why it is taking so long.
    It was a bad couple of years. It’s getting better, very very slowly. It feels like every little change for the better us taking so so long… I believe Im on the right path, but still, it hurts way more than I ever thought it would. This video has helped. I’ll be coming back to it a few more times, just to try and keep myself together.

  9. Rachel says:

    Moving on past a relationship that had history even before we got together was hard. But I have lived exactly what you have written the last few months…

    When we broke up, it was right but it was hard. We were friends before but we had to become strangers again. And then he got a rebound, a friend called him out, and he humiliated me on social media, through which he showed me just how many people he had talked poorly about me to. I was devastated.

    But instead of wallowing, I told myself: I CAN control my response. I started eating healthier, exercising regularly, running again, pouring myself into my work and my friends and my education.

    Now, on the night before I turn 32, I can honestly say that I am on the path to not just recovery, but renewal and revolution. Although I have yet to forgive him, to some degree I am thankful that he pushed me to be where I am and where I’m going.

    Thanks Matthew!

  10. Lucy says:

    I’m struggling because I broke up with a guy I’d been with for two years. The relationship wasn’t making me happy anymore and I felt taken for granted…but I keep focusing on what I might have done wrong; or whether I should give him more chances. This post is so right though – finding good people to spend time with is what I’m focusing on.

  11. Prachi says:

    Hi. It’s been 2 months of my breakup of 10 yrs long distance relationship.without letting me know he just got engaged n putted in his Watsapp dp.i had a doubt from 2 yrs but from his words he never let me knew. No call no texts nthng he just went away without a closure n didn’t even care to say goodbye also. I still feel like a fool… I am trying a lot to come over it but I m nt able to digest he was the one who made me fall in love with him while I was reluctant for him and now he only walked away like I never existed for him..i want to get out of him fully and show him n world n spcly myself that I am the best and I can also live a happy life and can get a better life partner… But first of all I want to heal myself.. I go to Gym but no changes as half of the time I just cry or over think or stalk him n just wasting my time.. I wake up everyday that today I’ll do some positive think but as the day goes all just become negative again …plz help me to heal myself n become a super confident girl

  12. Leigh says:

    Don’t look back and keep moving forward

  13. Julie MacKenzie says:

    Love these videos….Thanks Matthew….Keep them coming! ;) <3

  14. Anne McCartney says:

    Wow watched all these videos. I so relate to them.
    Also watched the ones about being lonely and worthlessness.
    I will keep watching them as I feel so lost in life. Regrets things I could have done better. It has opened up my mind. I know im a kind person and everyone comes to me for advice but I don’t need myself.
    Thank you for these videos. You just changed my whole journey.


  15. Veerle says:

    Hi Matthew
    I am getting over a breakup now. Been 1 month since he broke up. His reply: i love you but i stand myself in the way. Everything was perfect. How we met, the sex, his friends,…guess not. The problem was. He had just broken up 2 months before i met him with his past girlfriend. They had been together for 8 years, she was 15 years older and has 3 children.
    And now he is going out and Drinking. I miss him so much. He needs to work in himself and i hope he will find his way in life and be happy…

  16. Noa says:

    Thank you!

    Just what I needed right now

  17. Mellanie Ali says:

    Why have to grief as if he’s the one…thats a good one

    Thanks Matt

    Mellanie xx

  18. JB says:

    Your words of encouragement and pragmatic guidance are always welcomed. I’m currently working through a heartbreak, first one after my divorce 5 years ago. Doing all that you suggest and it is getting back- albeit slowly – one day at a time .

  19. Jane says:

    Hi im still really hurting right now.. Well, this person isnt the one i had relationship with.. But i want to be straightforward, i was a victim of catfishing. This person used her cousin’s identity to make me fall in love,this girl lied and played with my feelings. Partly its my fault that this happened, i let her hurt me. Weve been couples for 3yrs. Were not seeing each other personally. When God gave me the chance to get to see this person i thought i was in a rel for 3yrs with, i told him that hey i am your gf.. He said i dont know you and laughed at me. I wanna get over this, i feel ashamed of myself and im still in love with this idea and this person that was being used. Still it hurts… Im still in contact with this cousin that she used.still chatting sometimes and im the conversation starter.. I know hes not interested with me.. Im convincing myself that hes the one but i know hes not. Help….

  20. Kat says:

    So powerful!! Also I needed to hear it today. I do have someone that has commitment issues in my life yet I went out on a date and that guy is really nice. It showed me there is not just one single choice in my life not now or ever. Thank you for letting me know it’s okay to feel that way.

  21. Issy says:

    I’m in my 50s and am seeing a man who I was involved with many years ago.he has come back into my life however does not want to commit, his wife left him over 15 months ago.he says he needs time to do thing, travel with his friends, be with his grandchildren etc. At our age I do understand this, however I’m feeling I need a bit more.what should I do?I don’t want to get hurt again.

  22. Maria says:

    It is easily said than done. I wish it can be easier but one cannot simply just forget. Maybe it was a mistake to believe that he was the one, but it did happen. You invested time, love and a lot of effort to do things just so you could be with this person. You need to grieve for your loss. You need time to do that before you can really get back on track. I think it’s healthy to give yourself time to think grieve, and think of the next step. But where you are right Is where one shouldn’t stop there. There will be the time when you start moving on and rebuilding your life. It’s being resilient after a very nasty heartbreak. But what we must recognize is that this resilience comes from that time you give yourself- between the end of a relationship and the beginning of a new life. This is when you become stronger and more confident in knowing you are about to start anew.

  23. Terri says:

    Hi Matthew!

    Short, yet SO powerful & true!!

    Thank you,

  24. Tessa says:

    Really appreciate this video. Thank you Matthew & team! Please continue to make videos with substance and help all the ladies to overcome their heartbreak. Keep up the good work!

  25. Dachiella Eyma says:

    Oh my God it’s like you are reading through my life as you sending this email to god knows how many people going through the same situation. I personally think that everything happens for a reason as hard as it can be I know that I m a strong woman and I will get through it eventually .But one thing I m scared of is it my happen again.

  26. Ksthryn says:

    I really enjoyed the video and took a lot away from it. Thank you

  27. Laura says:

    Thank you so much! I needed to hear this!!! I am finally walking away from a 6 year entanglement where he was unsure. I’m going to heal and rebuild my life! I love this video. I’ll be watching it again!!!!

  28. Alex says:

    It took me 2 years to get over the last heartbreak. I really thought and felt like was the one. I grieved as though he was the one. At some point I revalued sitting at home alone in the evening was bad for me. I started to paint. Since then, I have rebuild a life for me and am probably happier than I ever was before. I corrected so many things that were not good in my life and my behaviour before. All in all, it was the most painful and most healing experience I yet.

  29. Veda says:

    Thank u for this video Matthew.
    I’m in that place right now after 3 years w someone who has never been consistent, nor has ever claimed me. But says he loves me. I can’t do it anymore. The silent treatments have left me resentful & anxious.

  30. Parmeet says:

    This was amazing. Thank you!!

  31. Aileen says:

    Yes ! Makes so much sense

  32. Silja says:

    So, in your opinion, is it not possible for two people that love each other, that think the other one was the love of their life, could break apart due to very difficult times? So despite trying to make it work, something bad happens which tears them more apart, despite the love they have. I mean, isn’t it so that sometimes people do things out of fear, out of confusion, when they’re not familiar with the situation. And then they break up, even though they love each other. And being apart for a short time (a few months) might be the only thing they need to get back to the place they were before?
    I mean, I’m a dreamer, yes, but when it comes to relationships I consider myself rather rational. I don’t make decisions out of the blue. I was with my partner for over 12 years. 11 of which were amazing. I thought we’d stay together forever, and he did as well. And then something hit which took us off course, added by more and more negative things, including depression, suicidal thoughts, health breakdowns etc. It was something so unexpected and we ended up hurting each other unintentionally. I had to break it off although I love him and he loves me. I felt that we needed some time apart for to gather our thoughts and I’ve been working on that for more than a year. I can finally feel more free and I understand so many situations better. We’ve been apart only a few months, and we’ve been yearning for each other all the time, knowing that it wasn’t the right time yet. But can there be the right time? According to you, if he was the One, he should’ve stuck with me no matter what. He didn’t, he couldn’t, and I see that now better than ever.
    So, could there still be a chance that neither of us should get over the break up? That we needed something bigger to break for to get back together stronger? Can’t we be each other’s The Ones despite the break-up?

  33. Lesley Stone says:

    so needed this right now. thanks.

  34. Darcy says:

    I have heartbreak over loosing my son in a custody hearing and still in despair

  35. Alyssandra says:

    You’re* ignore my terrible grammar please! Haha ❤️ Sending everyone positive vibes.

  36. Alyssandra says:

    I ended a relationship last week because he showed me it wasn’t going to go anywhere and all he wanted was something casual. After not hearing from him for a week and half asking him to call me via text, I knew it was time to pull the plug. His response gave me even more assurance that this was either the wrong guy or the wrong time for us to be together.

    But now, I’m traveling to New York from San Francisco teaching master dance workshops to college students and inspiring them to go after their dreams. I feel pumped and little by little I am healing my heart by encouraging others to be brave. I’m meeting new people from all over the country and have even received another opportunity to go to NYC next year and possibly Arizona after. All the years of failed applications and rejections in my career are finally paying off and it helps me believe each rejection was just a stepping stone to get me on the path to where I am supposed to be. Never stop trying.

    I still feel like giving up on love sometimes since I still haven’t found the real thing and each failed relationship sucks as much as the last one. But, I’m going to move forward with an open mind and keep trying to be the best person I can be while not beating myself up because I still haven’t found the right guy yet. I hope all the other people out there do the same because your braver than you know and more powerful than you think!

    Thanks you Matthew for the video! It was encouraging and it’s helping me get out of bed this morning with a smile on my face.

  37. maria clara says:

    Thank you,
    I truly needed this right now.
    I’m sure a lot of us do.

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