What happens when we get “tunnel vision” about one guy?
It can lead to us relaxing our standards, being too available, or giving a guy all your time and affection before he has EARNT his place in your life.
Many women have this problem in the early dating phase. They focus on one person too quickly even when the guy is not giving them signs of wanting to take things forward with them.
In this week’s episode of LOVELife, I reveal how you can raise your value with the guy you’re seeing and explain the importance of creating other opportunities if your guy isn’t committing right now.
10 Replies to “The Danger Of Focusing On One Guy”
I really needed this today… of all days.
Thanks a bunch , Matt and Annalisa!
Ok but how is the guy going to know you have loks of other great things in your life if the girl is the one calling him?
Because you no longer available Like you used to youre busy You dont care you dont call him you ignore his text for A while dont respond Be active do something else and It Will Be natural you wont even notice days passed And you Didnt think That Much of him
I absolutely love “this guy!” Sorry, I didn’t quite get his name…He is sincere and to the point but delivers his messages in such a compassionate and sensitive manner. It is obvious he is an extremely caring and empathetic individual. This guy is doing what he is in all honesty probably meant to do and it’s apparent! I never get tired of watching his videos! Love you, guy! You are awesome!
All this stuff about standards and challenge and stating your needs – the best way to go is let the man lead the relationship,then you can never over invest, and pursue you always, be appreciative of him and make your time together fun but just give him the space to initiate while you keep your life going and don’t have expectations of him. If he freaks out at any point let him and give him space. And if he’s not treating you right just leave, he won’t change.
Matthew . ..
Please forgive me but I have to say it
You had an interesting topic if he is right for my age and you did not talk about it in your video at all. You just talked about 50 years old woman
You’re the BEST Matthew. Talking about real things that happen-
and you were thoughtful, mindful, honest, and insightful-while being abundantly clear about what you are saying.
I like your style ;)
Unrequited love is the story of my life and I totally suffer from tunnel vision. I’ve been aware of this for some time now and have conversations with myself about it and I try keeping busy but my brain still goes back to thinking about the same guy who quite frankly doesn’t even give a hoot about me. It’s infuriating and embarrassing b/c I don’t WANT to like a guy who doesn’t want me! Ugh! I tried steering clear of love but I fell for this particular guy by accident. :/
I have been seeing my neighbour who does like me. As I am the one who breaks up with him for months and first even he won’t respond for months but he always comes back.He seems to be shy and overthinks a lot. This has been going on for more than 4 years. We have got intimate and bonded on several occasions but haven’t slept around. (We are having a great time despite that). I take it as a strong sign he likes me as he’s not forcing himself on me(I don’t stop him btw, it’s out of respect I guess) and still keeps coming back each time. He has cum by just kissing me on several occasions. We are both in our 30s.I have told him that I really like him and since we dating for long want a commitment for a relationship. (not marriage as we ll get into relationship and see how we are as a couple.)He hasn’t communicated much but that he really likes me( can see it in his eyes and cuddles) and he has never felt for anyone this way but he can’t commit as lot going on in his life. he can’t give me false hopes. I ended it. He still texts on occasions. and I am not responding on texts. why I want a commitment is I get insecure as he is over friendly with women. though I doubt if he’s actually dating anyone specifically the way we get intimate. I love him but what makes me uncomfortable is the open ended nature of this relationship. offlate I see him flirting with a female friend on social media. I have consciously cut ties with him, despite knowing he wants to be with me as the more we dating(we are neighbours) the more difficult it is for me to get over him. He does know I am too available though I go months without texting him when he doesn’t take things forward. As you mentioned in the video, is it necessary that we should focus on other guys? or other priorities of life. I generally don’t have single men my age around to talk to. It would be like forcing myself to talk to men. (I am settling down phobia in general for marriage).
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