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The Surprising Way to Become Instantly More Attractive

I get it….  You’ve all had a good laugh at my botched spray tan. (In case you missed it, watch last Sunday’s blog and check out all of the negative comments on YouTube).

Now you may think that type of thing gets me upset, but it doesn’t. It used to, of course – I’m only human. But being in the public eye, I’ve learned a few things about overcoming negativity and bad energy, and I want to share them with you today…

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247 Replies to “The Surprising Way to Become Instantly More Attractive”

  • My legs in general and knees in particular – wrinkly eyelids, not firm enough under chin, too wide rib cage, grey, wobbly bits under arms; I have been super creative in my life time at finding ways to nit pick myself apart. And I haven’t needed any help from anybody else – as the most stupid thing is that other people have never been responsible for giving me these insecurities – I’ve totally done it to myself. It’s still a mystery to me that my own mind should sabotage myself and be so critical and so cruel and that I’d allow and even encourage it! I’d NEVER undermine anyone else that way… But, I am working on owning it, and gratitude for what is really a pretty amazing body which serves me even when I’m so unkind to it!

  • Hi Matt,

    I loved the video
    Perfect topic really helped me.

    I am conscious about my body and health! It is an obsession!
    My family tells me that my body looks good, but I can not help but to keep pushing my body in to this mental picture that I have.
    I get alot of negative feed back about it especially from other girls all of the time. But I really love taking care of myself and my body is my temple.
    I agree with your comment about our energy being precious. And I know that if wee follow our hearts even if others disagree with us, we will be happy in the long run. Because we are living according to our standards and inspirations. That is how I feel. And yes I could stop living so body and health focused, the thing is I like it!
    I really love your advice keep moving forward.

    Love
    Moni

  • Hi Matt,
    I usually don’t comment but I thoroughly enjoyed your video! You are a true gift and love that you show us you! I’ve been doing a lot of soul searching lately and your videos help with my life! Thank you! My insecurity is my double chin. Get inside yourself and love deep!

  • Ps. I hate my teeth. But the number of people who have said, when I’ve told them
    this, ‘why?’! They just haven’t noticed them! I had a ‘boyfriend’ once who asked me if I’d ever have plastic surgery. While I was thinking, he said ‘ I can think of four things you might have done’. Exit left (and he was no oil painting!).

  • Do you know, I hadn’t even noticed! I think I was too busy looking at your face and taking in what you were saying.
    It’s quite ironic but thinking about it a big insecurity is that I’m pale. It’s English rose and very pretty. But I grew up in a time when to look tanned was considered beautiful and blonde, and I’m brunette too. My ex- husband had been married to a very successful woman who was blonde and tanned easily, who wasn’t half as pretty as me but that was obviously the look he liked. I think this fuelled my insecurity about it.
    I had my own fake tan disaster on my legs recently, also making me smell like a ‘baked biscuit’ to quote a disgusted person. But I then saw Marion Cotillard at Cannes in the most divine couture dress, strapless and short, showing lots of skin, pale skin. Not anaemic but not tanned and she just looked so stunning I feel sorry for all the women who had turned up that night, parading up and down thinking they were It. She owned it and she was easily the most stunning. She has a very graceful way about her and I have that too. I realised her looks are so enhanced by her persona, her aura. They can’t be taken in isolation like a waxwork dummy.
    These instances, like the one you experienced here, are good if teach us and we can move forward onwards and upwards. It’s actually a very important message as for some people could have carried the insecurity around with them for many years, even all their life. And it could be a major thing in holding back having a truly happy life. So great message Matt, you have great style, love the watch. So into watches at the moment, I’m in my local favourite shop like its a sweet shop!
    ‘Till next week, have a great one, Kathryn x

    1. Pale Fire is IN, Kathryn :)
      I am of British ancestry and am also brunette & quite fair. It’s difficult to find make-up in my shade. I frequently hear, “You need a tan!” (I’m American)
      To which I respond, (with a quelling and imperious look) “Realize, you have just informed me that my color isn’t good enough for you…”
      Our contrast is gorgeous, darling.

  • Matt, with such videos you’ve become far more than my dating coach. I think it’s great that you don’t limit yourself strictly to that area!
    As for my physical insecurities… I’m not too self conscious anymore. There are however situations that get me more exposed, like the beach, where occasionally I still might worry about my thighs and feel slightly uncomfortable not wearing make up. But see and sun just feel too good to let me waste too much energy on such negative thoughts. Also, my thighs may be exposed, but so is my bum, and my bum is pretty great:)

  • Hi Matt

    Thank you so much for this video. I think I’m going to watch it every morning :) You are such an inspiration for me!

    Thank you, thank you, thank you

    Love
    Gosia

  • Matt, someone actually had the need to comment on your tan? To me that was petty yet a bit hilarious. I didn’t even see the difference in color between your hands and your arms, because if truth be told, what I see is a beautiful intelligent young man who has helped me alot not to mention thousands of other women. But I understand what you are saying here. One does not need to justify every little thing they do in order to feel validated. Love Helen xx

  • Great video Matt. I must admit I didn’t even notice the imperfect tan… very unimportant I reckon! One of my biggest insecurities is my weight as I’m around a stone over what I want to be and at 5 foot nothing it’s very noticable. However I think the negative energy surrounding this generally comes from myself. So you think in trying to be perfect we lose out on enjoying the okay or good?

  • Hi Matt,

    Firstly, I figure if the worst thing anybody has to say about you is some negative comment on a spray tan, you’re doing great!
    Secondly, I learned something today …
    NEVER point out your flaws to anybody.
    I HAD watched that video, but because you were talking about the spray tan and the negative comments, my curiosity got the best of me. So I went back to watch it, thinking to myself I must have missed one! As soon as it started to play, I knew, yes, I seen this last week. I just didn’t even notice the “white hands” during my initial viewing. True story!

    1. PS. Of course I have flaws, But darned if I will be the one pointing them out! lol
      You show me a human without flaws and I will show you a fish that rides a bicycle!
      Keep up the awesome work you do. Much gratitude!

  • Hi Matt

    I listen to you every Sunday when walking my dog so only hear not see your messages, so had no idea about your ”white hands’ and really can’t be arsed to go and check it .

    Your messages continuously inspire me. THANK YOU

    My insecurity? Well the clue is in the name :-)

  • Hi Matthew and Jameson,

    As I watched this video from beginning to end, my thoughts and emotions shifted. Initially, I thought, yes conditioning one’s self for criticism is a good strategy to build resilience. Then, I started to feel defensive. Why? It was the very moment you discussed the’wtf did you do to your hair’ comment that struck a nerve with me. I have received exact and similiar comments from not only friends but a few family members. And yes, I felt I needed to explain myself to these people. In doing so, I felt my power just dwindling away along with my self respect. So, sharing your experience about the youtube comments on your tan and how you received and managed it really, really helped me make peace with myself. Also, I forgave myself for feeling that way; giving my power away (which I didn’t know I had until that moment of despair); and I forgave them. At the end of the video, my feelings transitioned from defensive to content. The ‘we are all going through the same thing’ comment got me there. For the record, I do my best not to criticize others because I naturally found it to be a waist of time. So, you can understand how difficult it is for me , well, was for me to handle others’ criticism of me. Your advice and willingness to be raw and open was truly more helpful and impactful than you may have realized. I thank you and I appreciate this video. A true treasured moment.

  • Matthew Hussey you are one brave bastard!!! BRAVO! Your vulnerability, and willingness to show it is one of your greatest and most beautiful strengths. ❤️ this vid.

    I don’t like my freckles and I am so white I glow in the dark

  • Hi Matt.

    I don’t normally comment on the creative works of other people; I too have a public life as a creative that is ceaselessly critiqued. That is part of the life of an artist…and we are all the artists of our lives. It is the way of people to identify where they are by where they have been and unfortunately our cultures are saturated with the emissions and recycling of our fears.

    That’s a profound topic I hear in your video, that you too contemplate. How do we encourage greater awareness of our life ways and outcomes, our capacity to be our greatness and our fallible humanity at the same time..evolving and becoming the vanguard of ourselves? With authenticity and unceasing kindness to ourselves and others. That is true resilience and it is also the gate through fate. Congratulations on being able to fly through.

    I don’t need to fulfil your request to see my fallibility in this comment. As you said, energetic clarity is a choice of where we put our focus and my focus in this moment is to share with you, gratitude for your authenticity. It is your power. Thank you for being and creating the courage to reveal your uncut message. This is life living itself freely and you have chosen well to stay awake and swim purposefully with the current that flows to greater peace for all.

  • Dear Matt,

    I love leaving comments on your videos! Being a woman, I absolutely adore having the last word. Really, it’s one of those little things in life that is incredibly, inexplicably satisfying.

    Anyway, I feel compelled to comment on this particular video because I completely agree with you. People talk a lot about self-esteem and how vitally important it is to have plenty of it. But so many people don’t seem to understand that in order to truly respect yourself, you have to become the sort of person you respect.

    It’s a paradox of a sort, really. In order to respect yourself, you must be able to do or say things knowing that other people will judge you negatively for them. But in order to be willing to risk public censure, you need a healthy dose of self-respect. Or, you have to make the conscious decision to subject yourself to that censure even knowing it’s going to suck balls. Sometimes, depending on how big of a fool you’ll look, you need both an abundance of self-respect and the courage to suck a ball.

    But there’s nothing like being at a place in life where you truly, honestly don’t care much what other people think of you. The thing that really matters is what your internal compass is telling you to do and respecting yourself enough to honor that compass. Respecting myself honestly is the single most important thing in life to me.

    On a different note, I’m not so sure about your tadpole shirt. It looks a bit like expensive pajamas. Your hair looks really good in this video though, so not all is lost.

    Best,
    Shannon

  • Thanks Matt I love watching your videos & this one meant a lot. I have always had an internal struggle about not being good enough. I always make an effort to look stunning, I work out and always have a smile on my face & I know how to walk with confidence. I know I’m not perfect for instance I’ve always had an issue with my nose but I’ve embraced it and learned to love it – it fits my face ! Lol
    I’m now trying to accept the imperfections and to allow my raw side to be on show more often as you talked about in your video.
    The last few years I have been involved with a narcissistic sociopath and have been on a journey – literally & internally. I have travelled to many beautiful cities with him, he’s tried to groom me into being ‘one’ of his many woman he is a player extraordinaire !
    Sorry to waffle on … Here is my point !
    He always has his phone locked and on silent and in a wallet away from view, whilst in the beautiful Cape Town on one of our recent trips, he was in the shower … I don’t know what possessed me but I opened his phone and it was unlocked ! I pushed the message button and i read his recent 3 contact messages ! I was shocked one was him talking about meeting a woman the next day when we were back in London, a new woman he had swapped photos with – photos I had taken of him on out trip to Table Mountain ! The others were sex texts I won’t go into details ! I was shocked and horrified but never the less in black & white for me to see … Sadly. But I do see the universe made those messages available to help me get to a place … He was obviously confused and checked his phone a few times !
    Matt I have been on a huge journey and I know that I had to walk away. I am a dignified, attractive, confident woman – this man tried to groom me into thinking that any man other than him was making do !
    I know that being with him is making do and I have too much self respect to waste my time trying to save him.
    By the way I did confront him on our 12 hour flight back but he said absolutely nothing ! I asked why he couldn’t discuss it if only for closure and he said he didn’t want to listen to my moans!! He did call me in the only avenue left open to him as I have blocked his number … He called on my home phone inviting me away at the end of July to the south of France !!
    There was no remorse no apology only that these women are just his ‘friends’ … Sick hey ?
    I told him there was nothing left to say and we were done.
    Intuitively I knew he was a player but my point is somewhere in me I am lacking something to allow this man to treat me with such disrespect, I think it’s all about not being good enough, but he really played me. It has toughened me up and for that I sm thankful but how do I reach a point that I never go back to him or another man like him !
    Yours respectfully
    Christine

  • Hi,

    I did made a comment about the difference between your hands and arms. BUT in an absolutely non judgmental way. I was just curious what happened and it was a sincere question. No matter what your answer would have been it wouldn’t have affected what I think of you or someone in general. Only the way someone presents their answer can affect that. That’s what I always try to keep in mind when someone makes a comment on me. A lot of the time we tend to assume that we know what someone else’s motivation is for making a comment but a lot of the time we’re wrong. So by reacting defencive to protect myself I’m actually attacking the person by assuming his or her comment was a judgement.
    I can be pretty clumsy in how I say things and how i present a question since I have aspergers but I very much realise that everybody has autistic tendencies every now and then. I don’t like to be blamed for my clumsiness so I try not to blame others for their clumsiness either.
    My insecurities are to many to mention when I start thinking about it. That’s why I try not to give it any attention when I’m out on the street.
    I had one time however a thing that turned into a interesting social experiment. It was a very warm day and I was at school and had class outside. I took of my shoes and at the end of the day when I went home I tried to put them on again. I had to travel two hours by public transport. But after 5 minutes, walking to the bus I couldn’t stand them anymore and took them off again. I went barefoot all the way home and people were watching me and wondering but nobody made a comment in my face or asked a question. After while I made it into a game and tried to invite people to make a comment by lookig back and smiling really really friendly. Still nothing, they just looked away. When I almost got home finally one little boy about 6 years old looked at me and opened his mouth. But before he could say something his mother grabbed his arm and prevented him to speak. Very disappointing…

  • My age, wrinkles, crooked front tooth, cellulite, too tall, flabby arms..I could go on! Great topic, Matthew!!! I absolutely love this topic and it’s the big reminder to keep a sense of humor and see how the quirky and imperfect qualities make us special!!

    Love you Matt!!
    XO

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