I get it…. You’ve all had a good laugh at my botched spray tan. (In case you missed it, watch last Sunday’s blog and check out all of the negative comments on YouTube).
Now you may think that type of thing gets me upset, but it doesn’t. It used to, of course – I’m only human. But being in the public eye, I’ve learned a few things about overcoming negativity and bad energy, and I want to share them with you today…
Hello matthew
First of all that was very nice of you :)
second, I felt the same as you today and I was thinking that sometimes there is some insecure felling that we can’t do anything about , but just let it be just the way it is.
then, your 100% right about doing what ever that that we feel good about that we don’t need to tell people why!
because it’s our persinal thing which gave us power when we do it
and the interesting thing is, it’s different for each of us
I’ve been buying something and keep them in a suitcase which logically I wasn’t deposed to do that, but it just make me feel good that I know I can use them one day :)
I’ve never talk about that till now and just to you :)
Anyway, be sure about what you do and be sure that, that’s the best thing you could do
and be happy
We believe in you
:)
Spotty bum!!
A sapiosexual wouldn’t care if you looked like an appaloosa with your spray tan…and would appreciate the length and depth of this vlog.
I live with a congenital birth defect…I’ve had plastic surgery…it’s still a bit of a mess, I’m afraid. Technology is finally catching up to what I need. After I finish my education I can then focus on saving for my next surgery & recovery.
Fortunately, I am funny, clever, in possession of a pretty face & stellar work ethic. Thanks for being in my Thinktank of Awesomeness. I cite you with such regularity that royalties may be due! ;)
Xo
Christina
Hi Matt,
I didn’t even notice your tan last week because I was only paying attention to your content!
As to my insecurity…I used to feel bad when guys that I was intimate with saw my scars & that created lots of stress.
However, five years ago, I decided to own my scars and don’t give a fuck about it, so guys either felt OK with it or didn’t even notice!
Hi Matt. Great video! As for physicalities that I didn’t like…5 years ago I accumulated 13 lacerations to my chin from falls caused by seizures. My initial reaction was “Christ. I look awful now, who would want to date a girl with a chin so messed up?!” Though, over the years, I began to accept it as a part of me and something that was always going to be there. When I accepted it, it suddenly didn’t matter what people thought anymore and whether they could see it or not, and it certainly didn’t make me stop going out there and meeting guys. I realised that if I was comfortable in my own skin then, that’s what others would see too; and honestly that’s all they need to see! Zoe :-)
I hate my back fat; i’m not fat overall, but i have a few pounds more than I should have. I will not let it take my power, that’s why i’m already doing something about it, not just accept it. I gave a lot of money for this gym, because it motivates me sooo much to go there daily. I believe that people should not accept something if they can change it, just so they feel they could live with a problem and still feel powerfull. And practicaly, if you never do anything to solve problems I don’t think you will ever feel empowered. Correct, focused action is the one that is giving me power.
You are amazing, kisses from Romania! :)
My skin tone, my eyes colors, having psoriasis, my height … Thanks for the vlog, is awesome to take conscience to what bothers myself and how to deal with it.
Thank you for this Matthew, you’ve made yourself vulnerable and we all appreciate it – it makes you human, someone to relate to and really respect for what you do. Excellent message and video!
Have been following your for many years and will continue to do so – you never fail to impress.
I’ll admit, I was sceptical about your recent Scripts program, but gave you the benefit of the doubt, and you delivered yet again – fantastic content instantly accessible and usable.
I owe you!
Tara x
I have acne on my face. The struggle for me with my self confidence and believing men will find me attractive has been overwhelming. I now realise everything happens for a reason and I now know that if I can hold my head up and be confident with spots on my face then I will have become the strong person I have always wanted to be. I deserve better than to make myself feel shame for this
I have bunions and arthritis on both feet. I was aware of it, but not petrified of it until a ex boyfriend once looked at my feet in complete horror and made a comment – can’t remember what he said, but I felt like I had Quasimodo’s feet.
I am limited in the types of shoe I can wear. 99% of heels are off limits. I used to be embarrassed about it. Still am on less confident days, but I’m starting to own it. I’m also starting to do exercises that help with feet and posture – which is part of the cause. I was never a high heel wearer.
Actually, I’ve never liked heels. Yet, I was embarrassed and ashamed at the fact I can’t wear them. I have a valid reason not to wear them, lucky me, really…
One thing that made a huge difference for me was the communications master class video. One woman, who’s slightly younger than I am was dressed very nicely, but had converse looking sneakers on while everybody else was wearing heels, boots, etc. And she was rocking those shoes. I also walked with a cane for a few years when I was in my mid-twenties. These experiences stay with you. But you choose how to react to them.
In retrospect, his reaction to my feet should have been a clue. He has a hunched back and is extremely self-conscious about it and would complain how others were mean to him about it, yet he lacked compassion. I was so tacken aback that I didn’t react well, so it ended up being a big deal.
Not fully at peace with my feet, especially when the pain wakes me up at night, but I’m getting there.
PS – I didn’t even notice the hands in last week’s video. It bugs me because I usually have a keen sense of observation. It really wasn’t that bad. I wonder what the big fuss what about. Like many others, I was focused on the content. If you filmed a video with an empty watermelon on your head, that would be distracting and annoying, but two different shades of beige didn’t bother me. The fact you had your usual confidence is why I didn’t notice. I didn’t look for what was “wrong” because I didn’t sense there was something wrong to look for. That’s the most powerful and crystal clear living example of what confidence does.
I think I’m pretty good about my physical insecurities (mainly belly fat :) ) and my body, but when you talked about not letting physical insecurities hold you back and how that makes someone even more attractive, that made me think of a good friend of mine. She’s rather plain-looking, isn’t curvy at all, wears no makeup, and has a bit of a lumpy eyelid due to a childhood accident, but she lets none of that bother her even though she’s aware of it. I’ve never seen her in action, but she gets guys like crazy – really great people get to known her and want to date her. Her greatest problem with guys is turning them down when they ask her out xD
Mathew, your message hit home. I have lost a lot of weight and I have saggy skin on my legs and arms. I’m 53 and very self conscious of that. I also have a brain injury from an auto accident 10 years ago. I’m scared all the time about the things I say and not finding the right words, getting lost in a crowd not being able to be excepted by strangers that I’m slower with my thoughts,then others. It makes me stay home and hide from life. I’m trying to get better but I’m always scared. By the way you’re wonderful and you make me feel empowered. Thank you for being you. Spray tan and all.
This was awesome Matthew, thank you. It’s great to know even someone as handsome and confident as you is just like the rest of us lol! Loved it!! I hate my pot belly and stretch marks!
X,
Jennifer
In the past and presently, I am self-conscious about having cellulite on my hips, buttocks, and thighs. After watching your video, and following your advice to publicly share my physical insecurity, something I’ve been self-conscious about, I’m taking a stand to release myself from this insecurity here and now! I’m sharing my bravery…admittedly, Yes, I’ve been embarrassed, and have worn larger clothes in the attempt to hide my cellulite. In this moment after watching this video, I will exercise my right to see myself as the beautiful woman that I am, just as I am! Even as I typed the last sentence, I felt a sense of relief come over my being, blessing myself with the freedom to live, without justification or self-judgements. Yes, I am the critic staring back at me in the mirror, not anyone else, and not anymore. I hereby own it, all of it, and declare that I AM BEAUTIFUL JUST AS I AM!!!!! Thank you, Matthew, for being the catalyst for transformation.
My insecurity and the part of my body I dislike is my belly. After watching Matthew, I’ve realize there are so many other parts of me I like. So from now on, I’ll find ways to love my total package and not focus on the negative. thanks
Matthew..
I loved the length of this video and the perfect imperfections in it.. (Which actually, I saw none). I’ve been going thru this life lesson myself recently, realizing I haven’t been loving myself. E V E R Y DAY I look in the mirror and see the imperfections in my body! ..thinking how can I tone here or eat better to improve that! My inner thighs are bigger than I would like them. My right ear is lower than my left so my sunglasses sit imperfectly perfect on my face. :/ HA! I have a tummy buldge, but someone pointed out to me that it’s my Love Pillow.. so it helps me smile looking at it now. I LOVED this message!! .. and I Love You!!
Thank you for the boost of empowerment Matt! You nailed this message so well that my authenticity is inspired…I’m dancing on the inside ;)
Hi Matt,
I am so thankful that you talked about this topic, and did it the way you did.
How many women would grow if you could continue to bring this up, once a week or so!
I believe it´s a key to many of our problems. I work with patients that have many insecurities and question themselves. This affects so many important areas in their lives! For some it ends in tragedy.
It is sad how we get in our own ways.
What you speak of, and you do it very well, is so powerful.
We need to be more laid back and just be who we are: Ourselves, because the energy and pain to try to be like someone else or to be accepted is exhausting!
I feel insecure about my cellulite in my legs and bums, recently discovered that, funnily though, I did tell my friends all about it the other day and said
I´m on a mission to work out to get stronger and hopefully get those parts look fresher :-). No matter what I tell myself it´s ok, as long as I get stronger and will try not letting it affect me.
I recommend everyone to see, on Youtube:
“Never give up” by Nick Vujicic, and a longer version: Step out in Faith.
It made me cry. And helps to be more mindful of and to be thankful of who I am and to love myself more.
Please Matt, continue on this important subject!
Love,
Beatriz
PS.
1. I´d love to be part of your team, and give some good advise on different subjects such as these, since I have lots of experience with patients who struggle a lot on these kinds of issues. Since you can get the message out to so many people, I feel that it would be a gift to give to women around the world. And it could save many women, in so many ways. And make women flourish instead! DS.
2. Thank you for sharing these videos for free. I cannot afford any of your courses (singel mother with low salary). Thank you so much for doing that for free, it means so much!
DS.
My chin, I don’t like my chin. I think my chin sticks out too much in my profile. From the front it is ok, but I don’t like it from the side.
I watched you video last week & haven’t noticed the tan thing & I am observant. I am not going to go back & watch it again. It stuns me every time how nasty & small minded people can be towards somebody who is always kind, delivers tons of value to them & is incredibly good looking yet they will try their best finding something to criticize…. It amazes me that after watching you for a while the better, wiser part of them haven’t kicked in yet. They act like they are unteachable & it’s hopeless.
Coming back to insecurities. I have tones of them: I don’t smile near enough, my face looks crooked in pics & on camera, I have a vericose on my left calf which prevents me from wearing shorter dresses or shorts on bare skin & many spider veins on my very fair skin on legs.