Venturing Into The Unknown

This blog is a little off-road compared with the usual love life stuff.

I think it’s important that you continue to know the REAL me through all the craziness that’s happening right now. The me that can get stressed, frustrated, fearful, and have to deal with all the same emotions you do. I’ve said it before, I don’t see this as just some brand, I see it as a community that I love being part of. I come here to connect with you. I don’t always write the articles I think will be most popular, or get the most views. I want them to have heart.

This month as most of you know I’m gearing up for the release of my TV show on NBC. And I’m nervous.

I’m not nervous in the “Oh god I can’t do this” kind of way. More in the sense that it looks like something big is coming and it’s hard to anticipate what that means. In the world I’m in right now, everyone sits you down and tells you about the opportunities that are coming. Everyone tells you about how HUGE you’re going to be. Everyone says what a crazy ride it’s going to be. It’s very ‘LA’.

Here’s the newest trailer for the show:

Crazy isn’t it?

It’s a little strange for me to hear all these things. I tend to have two thoughts.

First, my instinct is to not believe them. Not because I’m pessimistic, but because I don’t tend to get excited about things that haven’t happened, or that are uncertain. I have always had a kind of ‘underdog’ mentality. Over the years I’ve had to fight for credibility, clients, the lifestyle I want, and to be taken seriously (i.e. “Who does this KID think he is?! I’ve been a psycho-analytical-timeline-regression-therapist-NLP-hypnosis-doublebackflip-certified coach for 63 years… what does he know?!”).

Since I’ve had to fight for it, I don’t trust wild claims about things that MIGHT happen. I trust what actually happens.

Second, I actually have a fear of it going well. I’m a pretty private person – and though many don’t believe me when I say this, I’m naturally an introvert. The idea of ‘fame’ is something that scares me. Right now I can go pretty much anywhere and do anything and I’m not going to be recognised (at least not enough to worry about).

Chances are in one month that will no longer be the case.

Right now in your life you may have the same ‘fear of the unknown’. If you do, try to remember what I am trying to remember right now:

That you will work hard to impact the areas you can control, and that most of life is made up of things you can’t.

We feel powerless and afraid when we focus on all of the things that we have no power over. To use a GetTheGuy related example – a woman focused on the fact that she hasn’t met her ideal partner yet – if she focuses on the negative comment she just got from somebody, or the fact that a guy isn’t calling back, she will feel powerless and afraid.

This is a recipe for paralysis.

In my own life, I’m about to receive more hate, more negative comments, and more misinterpretation of my character than I ever have. If I thought I had haters before, it’s going to be 1,000X anything I’ve experienced. If I focus on what they are going to say I will feel powerless and afraid.

I also begin to feel this when I focus on there being more to do before the show airs than can possibly be accomplished.

But in life, 90% of happiness is perspective, not the landscape.

That means we get to choose what we focus on. If the woman in our example above looked at all of the things she could do to influence her situation – go out, meet people, learn how to flirt, build an attractive lifestyle, work on her confidence, bring new friends into her life – she would realise that there are so many exciting things she has power over.

In my life, if I focus on speaking with passion and conviction about the things I know, I become impervious to the haters.

If I look at what I can do in the next three weeks and simply focus on doing that, I will become empowered.

The last step in all of this is acceptance. I can’t do this justice in one article, but acceptance is essential to happiness. If I look at my situation and say “There is so much to do in the next 3 weeks, some of which I can do and a whole lot that is impossible to finish”, I will sleep at night. But as long as I am beating myself up for not being able to do what 10 men couldn’t do, I will feel powerless, afraid, and most of all, worthless.

(You may have realised by now that this article is as much a reminder to myself as it is to you.)

Focus on what you CAN do,
be kind to yourself for doing it…
…then kick back and welcome the unknown.

Love ,
Matthew x

 

(Photo credit: Ecstaticist)

9 Texts No Man Can Resist

188 Responses to Venturing Into The Unknown

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  1. petronilla mburu says:

    apart frm being a dating coach ur also a mentor,luv tha way u accept ur fears n deal wit them coz that shows u also practice what u preach,,,and thats what makes me wona listen to you more,your realy heaven sent.God bless

  2. Tammy says:

    Matt,

    You’re an inspiration to all of us! You have so much love inside of you, and are true to yourself. Not many people can be the way you are.

    Thank you so much for sharing your talent – your insights and sound advice on “Get the Guy”. I’m applying what I’ve learned from you not just in my love life, but also in my professional life. I’m learning how to take charge and take better care of myself. I’m noticing a change – I’m more relaxed and happy in all areas of my life.

    Now you’re about to share your talent and love with more people through “Crazy for Love” and the relase of your new book in the U.S.

    When I first saw you on your video, I felt you knew your mission in life, and are true to yourself. You still are.

    God has a plan for you. Go with the flow; he’s always there for you.

    Thank you for being such an inspiration to all of us.

  3. Natalie says:

    Way go Matt I am excited for you. Best of luck!!! Cant wait to watch the show. When does it air on television?

  4. Sonja says:

    Hi Matt

    Had an awful day. When I started to read your email I it helped me to see that I am not the only one struggling at some times. Lets try more to worry less and see life in the positive perspective and never give up! Thank you so much for sharing. Sending you positive thoughts!
    Sonja

  5. Wave says:

    Aloha!

    First of all i’m getting all nervous about this^^ and i don’t know why! I’m just so incredibly happy for you! *thumbs up*

    I have listened and followed your videos since 3-4 years back and i think you are an a-m-a-z-i-n-g person.

    Wish you all well with the show (which looks fantastic – can’t wait to see it myself!)

    Lastly i want to add that you are an inspiration to me! Thank you for doing what you do :)

    Lots of smiles and hugs from Sweden,
    Wave x

  6. Vie says:

    Hi Matt

    Just saw the trailer and think it looks really interesting. Is that going to be available to watch in the UK?

    I also want to add that I am really enjoying the Get the Guy kindle book. I went to one of your seminars a couple of years ago and kind of forgot about it as I was going through a really rough patch in my career and finances.

    Anyway what has surprised me is how the book is having an impact on my thought processes, especially to do with my career and future goals. I was stuck and couldn’t seem to move out of my flat, but I have finally done it and I have started to make more daring leaps towards doing the things I really want, like running my own business. I can actually say I feel empowered, even though I am facing redundancy again next month! This book has definitely made me look and question some of my values. So hoepfully this will be a life-changing year for me. And I will keep reading the book and watching the vids to stay inspired. Thanks for those.

    Good luck with your show, it will probably have a major impact on your life, but remember as long as you stay true to your values, the effect should be mostly a positive one.

  7. Marion says:

    Wow!! The show looks so GREAT! Now I can’t wait to see it!! Really! haha Good luck for it. You’ll be fine for sure! ^^

  8. Jingjing says:

    Hi Matthew,

    Thank you for the insightful and genuine sharing, I trust that it not only empowers readers, inspires clarity but also reminds yourself of the power within, the knowing.

    I heard about you not long ago, though on dating, I feel drawn and touched by your message I “hear”: you love people and care about people. Can’t resonate more. I believe that you innately know that you were meant to do this – help people empower themselves through your love and care, yes of course your knowledge, wisdom and much more :)

    I can’t help but humbly share a reminder I keep to myself and people around me: “it’s really all about the journey.” It’s not about getting there, it’s about Going there. The savouring and appreciating along the way is what life is truly about, the joyful moment of now, now .. :)

    I trust you are doing fantastic on your journey and thank you for being inspiring, loving and caring. Truly hope will get a chance to join your events some time in London!

    Jingjing

    • Matthew Hussey says:

      “the joyful moment of now, now .. :)” One of the greatest lessons in life.

      Thankyou JingJing x

  9. Lynda UK says:

    Matthew, I feel you are the one hundred percent genuine article and your humility is very touching. You have done so much good to my life Thank you from my heart.

  10. Bria says:

    Awww, Matthew, sending big hugs and positive energy as you step our on faith. Your honesty is refreshing and sweet. Wishing you the best of luck on this amazing journey.

    As for the haters, remember, life’s rejections are the Universe’s protections. So what if they reject you and/or what you stand for? That just brings you closer to those who are supportive, and, as you said, motivates you to move forward.

    Doubts are good, Matthew. They’re a sign that you have humility and empathy. We can use our doubts to help us to move into a place of having compassion for ourselves. This compassion then deepens and we widen the circle of compassion out into our world.

    I hope some of this made a bit of sense. I just woke up. Ha ha!

    Now, when you come to NYC, I’d be more than happy to lead you and your team in some relaxing, focusing, rejuvenating Yoga. Just say the word and consider it DONE. It’s the least I can do. Your teachings have been a big help to me in many areas of my life.

    Have a wonderful day!

  11. Dina says:

    Hi Matt,
    You are an incredible guy!
    It was really coincidence how i foud out about you, and i’m really glad.
    Thank you so much for sharing your experiences with us.
    I’m confident that your show will be a great success, simply because you are so talented.
    Warm regards
    Dina

  12. Reena says:

    I don’t think fame has to equal success. A lot of my favourite rock stars got conflicted with the fame vs soul question. Soul is always, always more important…coming from your heart and staying connected to it no matter WHAT happens around you. Although fame may bring success with it, someone doing a low-key, ‘quieter’ job but still affecting lives, is just as valid as someone on TV. Just keep that perspective and don’t believe the hype too much (as you’re clearly not). I think you are asking the right questions mate! Keep it real within yourself. Sending you lots of hearts. :)

  13. pippa says:

    Hi Matt, you are such a beautiful soul!Ive been following ur articles and you tube vids etc for about a couple of years I think and love you and admire you so much.!I’ve watched you blossom, and knew you would be big soon!Just stay real and if they get too Hollywoody and lose the essence,authenticity and simplicity just tell em its not necessary ,to just be real.!They need non egotistical real people like you!You are such a gorgeous genuine guy and radiate love integrity and passion.I love your honesty and as a healer and yoga teacher and activist for global change in all ways, animal, human and environmental it can really press people’s buttons, but its got to be done !I’m honest and real too and it can help others to trust and open up too.Though a great communicator like you,I’m hypersensitive and have been attacked,verbally and online.Sometimes it really upset me and makes me ill, but have found the best way is always to be real and I just have to defend and speak up for those who cant especially defenceless animals and children! That’s why we are here.! Yes we get some people projecting their own stuff,but after the vitriol,they make us stronger and more passionate to speak up even more!Just love yourself, bless them send them love as they need it!as its triggered something in them to wake up to issues they are in denial of and if it upsets us its to bring our self doubt to heal too.So on one level its all meant to be .Test of faith.Just think of the many brave people who expose injustices ,for animal, human ,and nature’s rights,and risk danger and their lives to defend the vulnerable
    .As Margaret Mead said “Don’t think that a small group of people will not make a difference, ….its the only thing that ever has.”
    You will be fine. You are a shining star, not in the shallow showbizzy sense , but a light as many are to guide people to shine their own light.
    It really helps to relax, breathe slowly and I’ve had a very tough time this life, learnt lots of very painful lessons and without Yoga and meditation i couldn’t have coped , they are life savers , and there are many great guided meditations free on you tube for anyone to bring balance and take us within to the truth of who we all are and everything is …. pure love everything else is for healing .
    Love you ! Wanna marry you lol
    all the best and take time just to BE! xx

  14. Eesha says:

    Matt,

    Best of luck – you are a great person with originality and a genuinely Happy nature that shines through even through all this Internet distance.

    Cheers

  15. Liz says:

    Matt, We LOVE you. For being genuine, kind, caring and for you’re book not being fake but so real, so true and so full of tiny details about where to go and what to do and most importantly how to be happy. You are a wonderful human first, a great coach after. Know that and even though we all venture into the unknown as you said – turn your fear into excitement. You age doesn’t make you a great person, what you are inside does. xoxo,
    Liz.

  16. Yvonne L. says:

    Hey thanks Matthew
    for all your insights.

    I just watched your video and I can feel the pain of the women who actually fell in love with one of these guys not knowing if they will be The CHOSEN ONE. It touched me, because I am still not over a broken relationship. Women are of such ‘feeling-nature’ and it’s hard to handle heart-pain and disappointment in the Love-Department.

    I think the show is a wonderful idea as it is build on authentic building of the self and how to show and exert feelings.
    On the other hand I personally find it odd for myself to ‘compete’ for a man since I am very much of a believer that by natural occurrence those are assertive energies (competitive thinking) that are male attributes where female energies are on the receptive side, the part that which is the container to hold it all together.

    Not knowing how exactly the show is structured, I was wondering if those women get a chance to not have to stay in the same building while participating, like it has been shown in other reality shows. After all in real life not all of our female friends and acquaintances are going for the same guy that one woman does. It must be emotionally draining for the ones who actually fell in love.
    For my part I would have a hard time to feel anything real for someone, if I knew I had to compete for a guy, because I still believe that he would have to fight for me and not the other way around.

    In order for any woman to build self-confidence, in case she doesn’t have enough of it yet, I truly believe she is to be shown how to stand-out, because of her uniqueness as well as to NOT develop too many feelings for a man yet, until she can finally feel that he has truly chosen her, NOT because she was the best competitor but because of the qualities that makes her individually herself!

    How does a woman do that if authentic feelings are welcome and a man truly wants to be able to feel safe with her, BECAUSE she is in tune with her emotional self and communicates that very authentically too? – It would be not wise to restrict any feelings yet out of my own experience it is one of the greatest pain a woman could feel when the one we love reject, turn away or abandon us.

    In analogy the woman is THE HOUSE and the man is the VISITOR ;-) who comes inside of us. Whatever he does, evokes and intentionally, or sometimes unintentionally brings forth will leave a lasting imprint for that any woman who is authentic and true will have to have all her ‘doors’ open, allowing herself to vulnerable, and she will have to trust that he won’t hurt her.
    In case of many women competing for the same guy some of these woman will get hurt! Knowing that, how will a woman be able to stand before him without any type of reservations?

    Just a thought …. from someone who has gone through a lot of pain when it comes to relationship and love.

    Have a great time on your US-Tour, Matt.
    Thank you for caring ♥

  17. Tina says:

    Hiya Matt,

    Even @ a time such as this, you’re still generous enough with your time & energy to share your thoughts & feelings. Thanks for your thoughtfulness, and caring consideration.
    You really are a wonderful person. Always remember that.

    Its no surprise then, that your world begins to take on a more diverse dimension.

    Your light is ever more brighter Matt, a ‘Beacon to the blind, a ‘Voice to the unheard, and a very welcome ‘Hope’ to the great many.

    Its because of your courage, which most inspires me. To step into the unknown, for the sake of growth, as a human being. And appreciating all that comes from knowing, ‘at least you try,’ in the reaching of positive fulfillment, and incredible human potential.

    I follow you, because of your amazing spirit!
    And your ability to impact the lives of others, in the best way possible, from a place of truth & giving. Its truly admirable!

    I want to encourage you with what is in your heart to do.
    To me, its there that the choices, which ever mattered most, are best made. For now, and into your future.

    Relax and be yourself too Matt. No matter what.
    The same Matt we’ve all grown to know and love.
    Focus on your own strengths, skills, and experience.
    And above all, trust that who you are, is more than enough…because who you are is ‘Extraordinary’!!!

    All the very Best
    With much Warmth,
    Kindness & Admiration

    Tina x

  18. Iris says:

    Love your article…it’s a reminder to myself as well.

    Just be your BEST anytime and anywhere you are you and we all support you =)

  19. Reema says:

    This article just come in the right time for me. Thanks a lot.
    I like the whole article but the most part I like is this

    The last step in all of this is acceptance. I can’t do this justice in one article, but acceptance is essential to happiness. If I look at my situation and say “There is so much to do in the next 3 weeks, some of which I can do and a whole lot that is impossible to finish”, I will sleep at night. But as long as I am beating myself up for not being able to do what 10 men couldn’t do, I will feel powerless, afraid, and most of all, worthless.

    really, I sometimes feel guilty for not being ready or doing things in a perfect way or finish them on time. I guess I wont be able to do that sometime and now I am ok with that.
    Today before I read the article I was convincing myself I can be not fully prepared for anything in life and I will do just great and maybe more. I can be in a casual clothes and meet new people and be as much confident as if I were looking like a model from the runway hahah

    Thanks a lot Matt

  20. Janine says:

    Hi Matt
    Thanks for a great article.
    My boyfriend and I are breaking up this week and all I keep thinking about is all the things that I could have done to repair our relationship but didnt do :( I keep beating myself up over and over again. I love him so its really hard to let go :(
    I know that I need to concentrate on what I can control and that is looking after myself and building up my confidence.
    Thanks, Janine

  21. Anita says:

    Dear Matt, Haters will be haters, you have true talent and it makes you shine so envy and negativity are most likely to happen. I loved the post and support you 200%, since I feel exactly the same at times. Oh and btw succesful and good looking is a good combination for more hating but its all about perspective as you say, Cheers Matt xx

  22. Emily says:

    Matt,

    You’ve fluently expressed the constant struggle to find and maintain happiness, which I think is the most important trait we share. You seem to be ahead of everyone on the second count~! Well done..!

    I would like to see one of your live venues but I live in the wild west. So I look forward to reading your book and big congratulations on your new show. LA is a state of mind, so just remember to get out for awhile and you’ll be fine-even San Fran is a good day trip to a slightly more thoughtful culture. Thanks for being open, British, and an introvert-how is it you do all three?

    Best,
    Emily

  23. Kiran says:

    Thank you so very much for this article. It was well needed, not for my love life at all, but for everything else. Lately, I have been taking on more than I can handle and I really need to understand that I have limits and I need to watch them carefully without going overboard. Thank you so much. Good luck with your show, I know it will be amazing deep down in my gut (which is usually right).

  24. Mathurot says:

    I has been trying so hard to make myself normal blend with others and being low-profile. But it been quite hard when you know that your different and bold.Because i know my deepest fear is the fame.
    I’d like to share this which is most like what im feeling.

    “Our Deepest FearBy Marianne Williamson

    Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.
    Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.
    It is our light, not our darkness
    That most frightens us.
    We ask ourselves
    Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?
    Actually, who are you not to be?
    You are a child of God.
    Your playing small
    Does not serve the world.
    There’s nothing enlightened about shrinking
    So that other people won’t feel insecure around you.
    We are all meant to shine,
    As children do.
    We were born to make manifest
    The glory of God that is within us.
    It’s not just in some of us;
    It’s in everyone.
    And as we let our own light shine,
    We unconsciously give other people permission to do the same.
    As we’re liberated from our own fear,
    Our presence automatically liberates others.”

  25. Sarah says:

    Hi Matthew,
    My roommate and I just discovered your program, and we’ve been loving the videos. On the topic of haters: we’re both grad students in a top university in New York, and the competitive environment can bring out the best and the worst in people. I don’t say this to emphasize our accomplishments–I say this because it took me a while to realize that the visibility that success brings with it can make us painfully and obsessively self-aware. I’m surrounded by talented, brilliant peers who privately agonize over the unshakeable sense that they have duped everyone in the process of getting to this school and this city. I watch all of us go through bad days, when we dwell on the humiliation of a class comment that didn’t come out the way we wanted, and good days, when we remind ourselves that we’re lucky, we love our work, and the worst thing that happens is that we learn something from someone who rocks our boat…(and even in that scenario, the thing we might learn is that we’re not as dependent on someone else’s intellectual approval as we thought we were, which is a pretty liberating take-away, I’d say). That’s to say, good luck, and not that you need the validation, but you’ve got at least two brainy supporters in NYC.

  26. veronica mundell says:

    Bottom line is that you have worked hard to live your passion. Enjoy the continuing climb up this mountain because life happens as you climb not just when you reach the top. There will always be another top, right? The unknown awaits us everyday. LIVE IT WITH ANTICIPATION OF ABUNDANCE!

  27. yuetching says:

    You will be alright as you always have been!Enjoy the show! And breathe! :-D Also a reminder to self.:-) x

  28. Katherine K. says:

    Hi Matt,

    This is sort of the calm before the storm. A bit of fear of the unknown too. A long as you stay true to who you are, but you are the advice expert and you already know this. I am confident that you will continue to stay in touch with us by blogs, email updates, etc. Even though you haven’t met most of us that follow you and participate in your e-course, you have built a connection that is as if you are a distant friend that offers great advice, occasionally vents his concerns, and has an open door to our comments and questions. You have the privilege of making a difference in peoples lives by simply having been such a real person that reaches out to us and touches on the very points that may puzzle us at times. I wish you every continued success. I am looking to your new show and excited about the Toronto event!

    Hugs,
    Kat
    Sent from my BlackBerry device on the Rogers Wireless Network

  29. Stephanie says:

    I can’t wait to see the show either! I started to read your blog and watch your videos for the dating part, but would like some more general advice or live advice like that more often. :)

  30. Tulip says:

    Dear Matt- you are very inspiring! Glad to have found out about you a couple months ago.
    Right now I’m going through a similar period and welcoming the unknown. It is a beautiful coincidence what you wrote here.. Thank you:)
    So happy for the show and the beautiful work you do!
    X

  31. Kristin says:

    Hi Matt seen your videos think u give good adivce were about same age been feeling hurt sad about guy from school been in touch with should I give him space right now

  32. Kathleen says:

    I can not wait to watch this.
    It looks just GREAT
    Well done Matthew!!!!

  33. Carly says:

    Hi, Matt. I wish you the very best with this. You deserve it. If women (and men) watching this show can pick up even one tip re dating and life, it will be worth it. Good luck.

  34. Tracy says:

    Hi Matt,

    My sister and I can’t wait to watch. The promo looked exciting, a learning experience with heart.

    I’m at a crossroads with love right now, and your blog was timely. Thank you for sharing your vulnerability. I met someone very special, very special. He terrifies me at how quickly and readily he loves and wants to commit. Stupid, huh? I think too much. I’ve been aching for that special person and intimacy. Now that it’s here, fear was the last thing I expected to feel. I’m going to take your advice, focus on what I have control over, be kind to myself about it and kick back and let it happen.

    Best regards,

    Control freak from Dallas, TX

  35. Jennifer says:

    Hi Matthew,

    Firstly congrats! The show looks amazing! I began following your advice about a year ago when I had literally lost all hope in finding someone i could share my life with! Since then things have changed dramatically not only in my lovelife but my life in general! I have more confidence now than i ever thought possible and I’m living life to the full and loving every minute! So thank you so much, the advice you give is invaluable! Regardless of how you’re feeling at the moment Matthew just remember you have an army of fans behind you who believe in you and support your work 100%! Best of luck xx

  36. Anna says:

    thanks, i needed this article. right now i am struggling with both no relationships (haven’t had one in a while) and no job (nothing permanent for a year now). i’ve been feeling very down about it and it’s a vicious cycle because the worse i feel the lower the chances that i think i’ll get what i want.

    i need to remember to do the best i can and let the rest go, because i can’t control everything. also, if i remind myself of the positives in my life i’d feel a lot better. my life is far from horrible. i do go on dates pretty frequently and i have a temporary job so i am making some money.

  37. Eve says:

    Wicked blog today, Matthew (old skool… I’m showing my age… :D ). I esp liked what you said about 90% of happiness being perspective and not the landscape. I will remember that. You are completely right.

    Wishing you every success with the show, Matt – Remember to keep it real and come back to the UK to see us!

    xx

  38. Johanne says:

    Matthew ! I’m so happy for you. You deserve the best and will do just great. It’s so much fun to read your thoughts because you’re a real authentic guy.

    If I may suggest something, whenever action is not enough to keep you from thinking you’ll go insane, just stop for a second, close your eyes and take a deep breath. I’m not joking. When we are stressed and on the run, we don’t breath deeply enough and our brain needs this to stay clear and focus.

    Don’t worry about what next comes up, you don’t know yet ! LOL

    Have a great day !

    JP

  39. Allison Buist says:

    The show looks great! I can’t wait to watch :) Everything in life is brought forward as an opportunity to learn. Thanks for reaffirming that the steps I am trying to take right now are the right ones :) If someone as smart as you is doing the same thing then I can’t be doing too bad ;) See you on March 31st!

  40. Elle says:

    Hi Matt,

    I just wanted to thank you for this insight and all the others I have heard from you over the past few years. They have really helped me see things on a different light. I feel so positive after reading this and all of the other comments. After reading this whilst sitting in a cafe a guy I found attractive came in and sat down. I tried to think of giving him ‘the look’ and of how I could approach him when he was a few tables next to me. In the end I didn’t really know what to say and ended up leaving. This made me feel bad because I am really trying to approach and talk to all people, including guys I find attractive. I am succeeding in this however I have found on some occasions such as this one, that I just do not know what to say or how to approach them and it look very normal and casual. I then end up feeling bad and being a bit hard on myself afterwards if I don’t approach. Do you girls find this as well. It’s almost like I need one thing I can do in every situation that will make sense and work in what I say and do. I really want to feel prepared for the next situation where I want to talk to someone anywhere, anytime. I don’t want to think, I just want to do! Maybe you have some ideas or advice Matt?

    By the way, you can always come on here and tell us all how you’re going. We are here for you and cheering you on, knowing you are doing the same for us.

    Thank you :)

    Elle

  41. Dina says:

    Matthew!!
    I came here to let you know that everything will be A-OK! I’m writing from the USA to let you know that your mentoring,your wise words have helped me become the person i was meant to be! Thank you and good luck!
    p.s. im sure everyone will love and accept you from America,just like i did!

  42. CelesteK says:

    I suddenly want to call you “Darling” and give you big hugs. :) You are in the position you are in because you are so good at taking in information, synthesizing it, packaging it and sharing it in a concise way that’s not dumbed-down. People can genuinely feel that you care. That’s what makes you appealing. You’re not speaking from ego or peddling sleazy quick-fix games.
    Yes, you are young, but you have an authentically EARNED knowledge. You’d have to live a hundred lifetimes to gather, through personal experience, the information you’ve been able to gather from others’ stories simply by being perceptive, recognizing patterns and understanding human nature. You’re brilliant at it. You managed to convince someone who is 14 years your senior (and who you once observed is very proud) to sit back and consider how good your ideas really are. I’d have been the first one out the door (metaphorically speaking) if they were weak.
    Sensitive intelligent people tend to think that everyone deserves to be heard. Unfortunately, that often means we listen to a lot of opinions that have no value. I hope you don’t read the haters. Don’t even let them in. There is nothing to learn from them. If they can’t be bothered to do their homework and understand who you are and what you are saying before they speak up, they don’t deserve to be heard.
    Thank you for doing what you do. I look forward to seeing you in May. :)

    • Matthew Hussey says:

      What beautiful words. I will remember these always. Thank you so much. Seriously.

      Matthew x

    • DariaF says:

      Wow! CelesteK, you have put into words EXACTLY how I feel about Matt’s work, but could never verbalise it so precisely and concisely. I’m always amazed that other people can express how I feel so much better than I could…

      Not forgetting Matt – Thank you for all your wisdom and tips in the book and your blog/newsletter – I am learning so much about myself and just learning so much! :) xx

  43. Ange says:

    Matt, You’ve accomplished SO much and you’re so young! That’s something to be extremely proud of. I’ll be watching your show FOR SURE! You have changed the way I act around guys and have pushed me to help my girl friends in the dating scene with your tips!

    Keep up the awesome work! And see you on your tour :D

  44. Vikki says:

    Matt, I think one of the reasons you continue to inspire me to greater & higher levels is precisely because with all the crazy awesome mind boggling stuff going on for you, you still keep it real. The next 3 weeks will be insane, you will get done exactly what you choose to get done, your team will provide manic support & you have loving encouragement from every corner on this planet :-) As a fellow introvert I recommend that you take 30 mins of total alone time each day to ground yourself & re-energise. And as what everyone says will happen manifests … appreciate it & reward yourself, you deserve it! xx

  45. Abbie says:

    This article was personally, really well timed for me. I needed a reminder that I can’t control the actions of other people no matter how much I wish I could! Staying positive and focusing on what I can do for me is what I need right now. Thank Matthew, I hope everything goes well for you with the launch of the show.

    Big love back from England! x

  46. Emma says:

    The biggest stars, and those who endure, are not ‘stars’ at all. They are people who stay grounded, grateful for where they are, excited about where they are going, and who never stop caring about how well they do. They are always genuine and nice to everyone. Think Justin Timberlake, Tom Hanks, Morgan Freeman, Denzel Washington, Johnny Depp… You’re in their league, Matt, and the new show will be a hit, although it’s good that you’re nervous! Enjoy it!

  47. Jodie says:

    Hi Matthew,
    Don’t worry about the haters. My friends and I love you and the US is about to too! Everything you have taught me has empowered me and given me back hope with regards to my love life. Just think of this as an opportunity to give that gift to a much wider audience.
    The only thing I am worried about is the competition once more woman know what you have taught us all…yikes!

  48. Paula says:

    You’re gonna be ace. You always were.

  49. Susanne says:

    Thank you for sharing, Matt. Your honesty and vulnerability are traits that make you stand out and special. Regarding L.A.:please take it all with a grain of salt and don’t believe the hype. You deserve every success and this show seems like a great platform, but I honestly wouldn’t bother watching it if it wasn’t for you… It’s simply too fake for my liking. Anyway I’m sure your lovely family will keep you grounded. Enjoy the buzz! You have our loyal support. Love from London x

  50. Alice says:

    By the way, your show is awesome! Congrats!!! I also wanted to tell you I write from Mexico City and your advice has helped me so much. Thank you very much!

  51. Alice says:

    Great thoughts, because all this can be applied not only to my personal life but also work, family, self-esteem, self-improvement. Thank you very much for your wise words. I needed them. :)

  52. Suzie G says:

    Hey Matt,

    I definetly agree with you that life cannot be controlled and most of what happens you really cannot anticipate. As your going through your journey this month and on just think to yourself that everything happens for a reason and that no matter how big your anticipation is or worries that if you put your worries in a pot with the worlds that you will end up taking your worry back. I used to be an extremely nervous person in my teens because I didn’t understand that I cannot control life and change is always happening with or without my knowledge and one day I just looked in the mirror and said to myself, “Is it worth you living your life like this always nervous and scared about what’s next”? I’m happy I had that revelation and I have learned a lot throughout my life of 22yrs. From my fathers death at age 6 to my friends turning their backs on me in highschool to some of my coworkers talking behind my back. I believe I’m too nice for my own good and I have learned that no matter what Matt, there will ALWAYS be haters or people who do not have your best interests at heart. But the moment we let these people win, is when we lose ourselves. The only thing we can control is our reaction to the situations as they come. Sorry for writing so much. If it matters, I support you whether your on T.V. or living in a box. Keep your head up!! ;)

  53. Emilia says:

    Dear Matt,
    I can honestly say I stumbled upon your videos an youtube one day and thought they were so insightful, smart, fresh and really advice that resonated with me. I can totally relate to you’re fear of unknown, after a couple of years of struggling to get thru exams, I finally am rentering medicine–I feel completely green, because book knowledge doesnt equal real world experience and scared as you point out of the unknown, but as you pointed out it is what you choose to focus on–:) and I think youll do great–I really admire your courage, talent, and wish you all the best

  54. Jennie Walker says:

    This looks awesome! Congratulations Matthew – this is so well deserved recognition of your talents!

  55. Jenny says:

    I’ve been reading your blog for a year, I’m from Colombia and even when most of people think we are outgoing, I’m not. But your lines have given to me more confidence, so keep going! I’m sure there are more people that love you than hate you.

  56. Kerly says:

    Love you Matthew!
    Oh wow.. that show will be big indeed, not surprised you are afraid… The show looks awesome!!
    About you being afraid, I would say.. I am a bit surprised, you know when you have people who you know who are always succeeding and always as ur role models, or always smiling.. you are one of those supernatural people for me, and knowing that you, as confident you are, can still be afraid of something seems so unreal.. It almost makes me realize that of course you are a human being as well.. For some reason u seem to be above the worries and fears..

    just know that you have so many fans to support you and courage you:)

    BTW: could I suggest a theme for your next post, I am really really interested of what you might have to say about this: COULD A PERSON HAVE IT ALL?
    (I mean, great career they want, nice home, confident/happy with themselves,great personal life) It always seems to me that whenever one area of life is going good or under my control, something else is not..
    I would really like to know ur thoughts about this subject.

    Thank you Matthew, Love you!:)
    xxxx

    • Cordelia says:

      Hi Kerly!

      I’d actually be really interested in that too… At what point does the process of maintaining an extraordinary life, becoming the best version of yourself, focusing on growth, bringing out the best in your other half etc… At what point does juggling all those roles become too much? Can everyone live life at such an extraordinary level?

      I suspect the answer is to balance all of the above with prioritising your needs – a prime example being on airplanes, that you will be of more help to those around you by putting on your own mask first? But would love Matt’s advice on this, as well as how to forgive yourself the moments where you drop the ball. Quick aside in case Matt reads this, to say good luck with the near future and thank you for sharing your fears today, alongside the recipes for success… Your ability to dispense practical advice while admitting a vulnerability is a rare and very impressive ability; you should be very proud. :)

      The thing that helps me keep perspective when I am overwhelmed at the moment is actually staying in contact with my new peer group I met at a recent Get the Guy event!

      We’re all in roughly the same boat, practising the techniques and finding some moments harder than others! Checking into our little messenger group when I’m overwhelmed and know others are probably feeling the same way is reassuring! But more than that, to see that everyone is still applying the techniques, and seeing the incredible progress we are all making??? …… I can’t recommend that feeling highly enough. :) x x

  57. kaoutar says:

    i almost forget to tell you Don’t ever view yourself the way the world see’s you..it will always be distorted..stay close to family and hold on to what you believe. You will always teach more by the life you lead and what you say.good luck for everthing lovely matthew.

    • Matthew Hussey says:

      Thanks kaoutar, much appreciated x

    • kaoutar says:

      you re article is very original and so rational.it’s like a written trailer exposing your life from a different side and showing what you’ve been trough to be our savior today .According to me;you shoudn’t be worry about what is going to happend tomorrow because you re in the right direction.Just don’t forget to beware of your enemy once and warn your friend a thousand times.one day i hope you to be my savior in the future .All my best wishes.

      • kaoutar says:

        BRAVO FOR YOUR SUCCESS and trust me i will always supporting you since i’m alive.it’s kaoutar from MOROCCO;

        • kaoutar says:

          i’m glad saying this because it’s my first time ever i live a comment on the blog however i’m a silent supporter.i hope you made a differnet person in the future; thanks for sharing your article with us.king regards

  58. Victoria says:

    Matthew you are great. So honest, generous, positive, intelligent, perceptive and proactive!. I wish you the best experiences and fun and intensity with this program. Aim to keep being centered, in your observer. It all passes. Comes and goes. And we can be total, enjoying every moment to the fullest! Yes! you deserve all this. And we deserve you! The world is changing, and it is because of people like us :)

  59. Raquel says:

    I can’t even imagine why would you have haters. All you do is help people! You are a wonderful human being Matthew. Don’t ever let those haters bother you :)
    xx

  60. Simi says:

    Wow- the show looks much, much better than I imagined!!! Can’t wait to watch it in the UK! Well done Matt – you are following your dream, which in turn helps us women!!! :) Great job – hope to see you soon for another seminar! :) Love Simi xxx

  61. Silke says:

    Dear Matthew

    Thank you for your thoughts. Funnily enough I do have “career issues” right now, too, and never expected to find answers to questions not even asked here.

    Thanks for being a ray of sun that guided me a part of my way. All the best!

  62. kaoutar says:

    dear matt!!
    you re article is very original and so rational.it’s like a written trailer exposing your life from a different side and showing what you’ve been trough to be our savior today .According to me;you shoudn’t be worry about what is going to happend tomorrow because you re in the right direction.Just don’t forget to beware of your enemy once and warn your friend a thousand times.one day i hope you to be my savior in the future .All my best wishes.

  63. SKY says:

    Dear Matt,
    I’ve always enjoyed your blogs, video’s and book. Because I do feel that you truly want to help others by helping them to create their own happiness. Regarding your post, I think a quote of the Dalai Lama that I’ve recently stumbled might help you:
    “I believe that the very purpose of life is to be happy. From the very core of our being, we desire contentment. In my own limited experience I have found that the more we care for the happiness of others, the greater is our own sense of well-being. Cultivating a close, warmhearted feeling for others automatically puts the mind at ease. It helps remove whatever fears or insecurities we may have and gives us the strength to cope with any obstacles we encounter. It is the principal source of success in life. Since we are not solely material creatures, it is a mistake to place all our hopes for happiness on external development alone. The key is to develop inner peace.”
    Good luck with your tv show and always stay humble!

    X
    Sky

  64. Joy says:

    Very warm message Matt. Since most of the things in our lives we cannot control, we have to learn to live with uncertainties. I normally just don’t think of the result or consequence at all. Just focusing on maximizing my effort. So afterwards, no matter how it turns out, I already tried. No regrets.

  65. Kathryn says:

    Matt, why are you assuming you may have lots of negative comments and haters! The very fact you care about the underdog and have great sensitivity is why you are so good at what you do. It’s why all of us are wishing you success and listen to what you say. I don’t know what all the work is you have to do beforehand, you have so much experience. You look like a rose between two thorns in your chair :) no offence ladies, you are going to do great x x

    • Matthew Hussey says:

      Thanks Kathryn!

      I think the biggest haters tend to be people that don’t know you. But with all of these amazing people on the blog we’re a force to be reckoned with!

      x

  66. Lydia says:

    Hi Matt!
    You’re such a kind heart and this article moved me almost to tears!
    I know it is really hard sometimes to control our fears and those fears make us so blind to see the power we actually have to reach anything we want to achieve. That happens to me a lot! That’s why I feel so connected to you! And from my perspective, what my intuition says, I’m sure you’re going to make it happen and it will be great! It’s a big challenge for you but everything is gonna be ok! I can feel it! Sometimes it helps when someone you don’t know tells you these things and I really hope this can help you.

    Lots of love and courage from Spain xoxo

    • Matthew Hussey says:

      Thanks for your beautiful message Lydia, means the world to me.

      Big love to you in Spain!

      x

      • Lydia says:

        You have gone such a long way and work so hard to get to this point in your life! Don’t be afraid of this reward life is giving you in return! The people who believe in you won’t stop doing it! Try to stay positive,everything will be ok :-)
        Thanks for being there for us! And for your reply!

        Big love to you too X

  67. janz says:

    mat, u r sooo amazing and you focus on what you do!! i admirer your passion!! wish you all the best for this show in USA…
    xxx
    Janz

  68. Jessica says:

    Hi Matt! Love that you sent this out- I have been going through such a dramatic change in many aspects of my life and things are continuing to change. You are not alone. Most opposite actually, there are many people who believe in you and want you to suceed and be happy.

    You are fighting a good fight and I have faith that you will suceed. Way to go putting so much positivity out there!

    Best wishes in your endeavors and adventures! And lots of love from the Bay area… :)

    • Matthew Hussey says:

      Thankyou Jessica,

      Good luck in those big changes in your life right now. I’m here to support you, just as you are me!

      x

  69. Anatina says:

    I really appreciate your sharing these thoughts with the world. It’s difficult to be naked in front of others. I too am an introvert and very private. I also do not become excited about things that haven’t happened and not much impresses me either. I think that sincerity is what impresses most upon me in this life as there is so little of it.
    So here is my dilemma; I’m 55 years young. I have a disability but you can’t see it. I look completely normal and I’m attractive. However I am unemployed as a result of the disability and my income is limited to the point that the things I’m interested in that could work for me and in conjunction with my disability are out of my reach financially. When I meet men I’m afraid to tell them about this because most men want someone who is actively working and supporting themselves. I’m very down on myself for not being who I once was and even feel shame and lowered self esteem as a result of having this disability. I meet a lot of men who are very wealthy not on purpose…but I’m afraid that being honest about my disability will scare them off so I push them away before than can push me away. I’d like some thoughts about this.

    • Matthew Hussey says:

      Hey Anatina,

      Thanks for your kind words.

      You sound like an amazing individual. The fact is your personality and your personal impact are the most powerful gifts you have. Your earning power is not the defining factor in how someone will see you. But I want to make sure that it doesn’t affect how you see yourself.

      Just like I talked about in the post, there are things we can change and things we can’t. If this is something you can’t control then it is something to be dealt with. Some people deal with things like masters and others like servants.

      I want you to be a master in how you deal with your situation, and I’m here to help you every step of the way! ; )

      Matthew x

      • Anatina says:

        Hey Mathew! Thanks for the response…I know you’re dedicated to what you are doing and I wish you the greatest success! And you hit the nail on the head…my disability has affected how I feel about myself in a negative fashion. There is nothing I can do about it and I guess that is one of my frustrations. I’m afraid because I have to live with it and the limitations that I’m subjected to that men will no longer see me as a whole person. I hate to be in situations where someone asks for a date to do something and I have to say…oh! I’m sorry I can’t do that or I can’t join you because it’s like limiting them too! I don’t want to limit anyone anymore than I want the limitations that I now have to live with. Make sense?

  70. Abby says:

    Watching the trailer made me feel like your show is going to be similar to the bachelor/bachlorette with all the pretty, thin people and the women behaving atrociously towards one another in the usual hollywood entertainment sort of way. Then I saw that clip of you telling one of the women she was behaving badly so now I am intrigued!! That alone makes me want to watch it!! I hope that as your services get more and more in demand and as Hollywood tries to add their usual drama to what you do that you do not to lose sight of why you went into this line of work in the first place and what message you are trying to send. Your videos (and no doubt your book will have the same effect) have been immensely helpful in pointing out subtle shifts that we can make in our lives to make them better and feel more fulfilled. You have an excellent grasp of human psychology and this will no doubt serve you well going forward. Best of luck!

    • Matthew Hussey says:

      Hey Abby,

      You and I think alike. It’s hard in the tv world because there’s a lot of pressure to entertain, when sometimes you just want to educate.

      I’ve done my best in this show to do both! But regardless of what happens in the media, I’ll always be here, giving my honest sincere thoughts to help people move forward, with ZERO drama along the way : ).

      Matt x

  71. Learning says:

    By the way, I am not meaning to be hating on you. : ) I just want to encourage you to keep up the good part in your work. It is much more important than fame, as you make a difference in people’s lives. Right now I am trying to write a Master’s paper and I am very afraid of doing it and procrastinating. I think that I am afraid of succeeding somehow. It is also an overwhelmingly big project and I really don’t know how to do it, and I am afraid of not doing it RIGHT, and that makes me put it off. I am not sure how to break that cycle. I know the answer is to just START and keep going, but it is difficult. : )

    • Matthew Hussey says:

      Hey Learning,

      Not at all, I love that you commented!

      The key with your masters is to let it be average to begin with, then work from there. If you try to make it perfect to begin with it’ll never get started.

      Go get em!

      x

      • Learning says:

        Thanks. : ) You also. Good luck and protect your inner self and your soul and be a force for good in the industry. It needs it. You are in my prayers. Peace.

  72. joy says:

    I love u the more matthew, most times people fail to accept the truth. Am a type of person that will always stand on what I want not minding any circumstances, but people Do not believe I can act in such manner. My friends see me as a cool, quiet, and soft minded person, of which I am the opposite.
    Sometimes I doubt if am the one hiding my true self but of which am not. I don’t know if my attitudes sometimes affect my love life because we African’s believe that woman should be soft minded and not otherwise

    • Matthew Hussey says:

      Hey Joy,

      Stay true to who you are, and let it come out. Being a powerful human being is about being soft when it’s needed, and taking charge when it’s needed. Let both parts of you shine through!

      Big love!

      M x

  73. Cherie says:

    Bless you Matt!! The show looks amazing, I just hope we get to see it here in old blighty.
    I clearly deserve your success…so receive with open arms :-)
    Xx

  74. Zsuzsanna says:

    Matt

    The show looks amazing and I have no doubt that you’ll be loved and adored by the US… So the questions is, when can we have you back? The UK needs you…. But seriously you deserve every success… You have been changing so may lives for the better… And I feel absolutely privileged enough to have come across with the get the guy philosophy…

    Good luck… We love to loads

    Xxx

    • Matthew Hussey says:

      Thanks Zsuzsanna,

      I’m back and forth from the UK so you haven’t lost me over there, I’m just on the road a little more these days!

      Thanks for being part of the journey with me.

      x

  75. Samantha says:

    It will be one of the saddest things on earth if you were to absorb any of the criticism.

  76. Ess says:

    Well said, Matthew! Being the best You you are is amazing and you are amazing for Being. I hope that made sense. That you choose to live from your heart and remain grounded in that shows integrity. Will that always be recognized…no. Will that always be appreciated…no. Does it really matter…no. How will the Universe show up for you…that is the awesome adventure!!!

  77. Learning says:

    In a way the show seems different than your focus. It seems to stress the “beautiful” people and not the normal people of the world. : ) What I like about you is that you are down to earth in most of your work. You talk to people of all ages, looks, sizes, etc. The show seems to stress the size 0 women, and the macho man. Perhaps the “perfect” woman for one of these guys is not a perfect 10. You never know. Most people in the world do not look like that. Of course, this is television, but I think television sets an unrealistic expectation for the “normal” man or woman. I think that it seems unnatural and unrealistic and is like so many other of the unreal “reality shows.” This is just an observation. I am not a big fan of reality shows. I do enjoy your blogs though, and I will probably buy your book.

    • Matthew Hussey says:

      Hey Learning,

      I agree with you. But there are powers bigger than me in TV : )

      Thanks for your opinion, and I hope you enjoy my book.

      x

    • Jill says:

      I was able to see Matt in action on the shows set and let me tell you it’s not all about being “perfect” or even a size zero. I personally felt it touches more on the imperfections in our lives no matter where you come from or what you look like. I really don’t think you will be disappointed:) I have to be honest Ernesto is my favorite. The more you get to know him and where he comes from he just becomes that much more attractive

  78. Rowena says:

    Matt, you couldn’t have picked a better timing to send this as I’m feeling so overwhelmed I’m ready to cry! Too late, there goes…
    I can use Florida right now but soon enough and counting the days…

    Thanks for everything, really!!!

    • Matthew Hussey says:

      Hey Rowena,

      Can’t wait to see you out there!

      x

      • Barbara says:

        I’m counting down the days until the Florida retreat. I’m running on empty and every blog article and email you write gives me just a little more energy to keep going under a time of stress.
        Thanks for all the inspiration.

      • Rowena says:

        We believe in you, Matt! So many people I know are going through this right now including some guys I know. So cannot wait until Florida to fix me! :)

        Respect!

        • Cordelia says:

          Are you going in March? I’m going in October, which will be the perfect timing for me, but am already looking forward to it so much. Can’t wait to meet the other participants…! :) x x

  79. Eveline says:

    Matthew, thank you for writing this.

    I have felt powerless and scared about a lot of things over the past couple of years. When I started college three years ago, I suddenly got feelings of panic and fear of the unknown, because I wasn’t sure where I was headed and whether or not I wanted to go there. It took me months to realize that very few people my age really know what they’re doing, and eventually I accepted the fact that I had no control over this, trusting that I’d end up somewhere nice eventually and at least have fun along the way.

    More recently, I experienced a roller coaster of joy and fear while trying to make a connection with a guy that continuously opened up to me, then shut me out again and again. I have never felt so insecure about myself, never felt so dependant on somebody else, so powerless about something I wanted so bad. I am over him now, but it took me several months to face all the fear I still felt. It has made me more scared to meet new guys. And even though I have never doubted that I will eventually find some one, I am scared of how long it will take. And I am scared that when I do find somebody that likes me, I will drive him away somehow.
    These things always bother me in the back of my mind, though most of the times I can handle them.

    I am touched by the way you just wrote this personal article. To me, it’s incredibly reassuring to know other people are afraid of the unknown as well, even people as seemingly ‘in charge’ as you. So thank you. And I wish you the best of luck on the exciting things ahead! :)

    • Matthew Hussey says:

      Hey Eveline,

      We all have our moments when we need support, including me. That’s when you need your best people around you to remind you of how strong you are.

      Thanks for being here.

      x

  80. yvonne says:

    Matthew I wish I could say something to encourage you as much as you have encouraged me this year through your writing and video’s. You said everything anyone would tell you in this post. As long as you know who you are No one can shake your confidence. Just show up,be your best let God handle the rest. Don’t ever view yourself the way the world see’s you..it will always be distorted..stay close to family and hold on to what you believe. You will always teach more by the life you lead and what you say. So it is a blessing more people will have the opportunity to see who you are..use being in the public eye as a chance to influence and help more people. It sounds positive to me! Best wishes :)

  81. Anonymous says:

    I’m feeling like this as well, I think we should all count our blessings, and realise that we do nothing ourselves, but it is in fact God.
    If you can, wake up at the ambrosial hours before dawn (3 am) and repeat the word satnaam.

  82. chantelle says:

    I really love it when people speak from their ‘hidden place’, the thoughts most people won’t admit to, but Matthew you had the courage to speak about your personal fear. We should all be more aware of what we fear and believe that we can overcome it if we chose to.

    • Matthew Hussey says:

      I always want to be honest, never just to talk about being strong because it seems like the thing to do.

      I expect other people to bring their fears to the table with me so I have to have the courage to do the same!

      x

  83. Melissa says:

    Matt,

    As always, you have impeccable timing with this article. I’m currently in a situation where I’m so afraid to have my first serious conversation with the guy I’m seeing (of about 2 months) to see where him and I are headed (does he want a long-term relationship?). I’m typically a very confident person and the whole idea of finding out where I stand and bringing this up is terrifying. You mention above to focus on what you can control and not what you cannot.. that is key. For me, that means practicing this conversation until I feel confident enough to deliver it.

    It’s good to know you are human too :-) Trust me, you will do great with this new adventure. I truly look forward to your show and always appreciate all the hard work you do. Surely anyone can see you put 110% in everything you do.

    • Matthew Hussey says:

      Thanks Melissa. Good luck with your situation. Whatever happens remember, there’s more happiness waiting for you whichever way it goes!

      x

  84. Nofyah says:

    Daer Matthew,
    I started watching your regular coaching videos, not the dating vids, a year and a half or so ago.

    What always comes through to me is that you care about helping people. You’re not just up on YouTube to show off, like so many. You REALLY care about helping people change their lives, and you know you have an ability to help, and so you put yourself out there to do it. Not because you’re showing off, either.

    If you should be afraid of anything, it’s losing your caring when you become a star. And, personally, I think there’s a low risk of that, since as you said you’ve had to battle so hard to get where you are now.

    Cheers, and blessings from Jerusalem,
    Nofyah

    • Matthew Hussey says:

      Thanks Nofyah. Every time I write a blog it’s people like you who remind me why I do this. You make me care because you show me what effect all this work has.

      Thank you.

      M x

  85. Katherine says:

    Wow Matthew. This article couldn’t come at a better time for me thank you so much. I think the universe is throwing opportunities to everyone right now. This has been a very crazy emotional month for me as we’ll as I bet most people in the world are feeling this energy. Opportunities bring change and that’s scary. Matthew your words offer wonderful help. “Focus on what you CAN do,
    be kind to yourself for doing it…then kick back and welcome the unknown.” I love it! That’s all we can do. Can’t wait to watch your show! You were made for this and you help so many around the world. Go get em stud! You’re going to be fantastic!! Because you already are:)

  86. Tracey says:

    Hi Matt, Will the show be shown in the UK as it looks amazing! If so, when?? If not, will we be able to get a copy of the shows somehow?

    Good luck with it all, I am sure you will be amazing on the show.

    p.s. I met your dad the other day at Professional Beauty show – he really didn’t look old enough to be your father!!

    p.s. I have just met THE most wonderful man and we are now 3 months into our relationship and I am only on the first chapter of your book!!!
    x

    • Matthew Hussey says:

      I love that Tracey! Congrats on your man.

      Nice to know you met a member of the family : ). The show isn’t arriving in the UK yet but fingers crossed it will soon.

      Stay tuned!

      x

  87. Anne says:

    Good luck with the show Matt. It looks fun and educational. Can we get to see it in the UK?

  88. sasha says:

    Bravo Matt.
    It looks like its going to be a FANTASTIC show.
    You deserve it!!

  89. Elizabeth says:

    Hi Matthew… Yes the unknown is stressful… there’s this little voice in your head that you can hear when you are in that calm place saying ‘Yes you can do it’ a kind of knowing ‘gut feeling’ and if you didn’t have it you wouldn’t be in the position you are in… so well done

    I had many fears about whether i could provide for my children if I left a very unhappy situation… I now live in a beautiful place overlooking the ocean, I have more friends than I have ever had, work is gr8, my kids and I have the best relationship ever and I am learning all about Men and choosing the best one for me Lol thanks to you… so good luck to you.. all the best… may the greatest outcome be yours for your highest good XX

  90. Stef says:

    It’s absolutely normal to be nervous in your situation, Matt – even for a natural extrovert who loves attention, having the eyes (and comments!) of millions of people upon you is tough to say the least. But I think you’re down to earth enough to handle any crazy kind of fame :) I’m glad you shared this, it was a reminder that we all have to focus on doing the best we can with what we have and not worry too much about things that might happen. Lots of love to you all :)

  91. Rosie says:

    Wow Matthew, thankyou for sharing that. Its good to know that someone like you has worries and is “human” just like the rest of us. In a weird way its comforting to know that you too can feel this way from time to time. Its normal to be apprehensive about anything new, I think change can be a very scary thing, more so as we get older. In my teens and twenties nothing scared me, nervous yes but never scared, I naturally had confidence, unlimited love and energy for life, Im 36 now and change makes me recoil into myself,my confidence levels are only half of what they were when I was younger, but they are higher than what they were this time last year. It’s a work in progress and your blog today has inspired me to keep working at it.

    • Matthew Hussey says:

      And we will keep working at it until your confidence is double that of when you were younger!!! : )

      Matt x

  92. Nancy says:

    Most honest post I have read from you. Trust your instincts. Men and women on a higher level are not all that different. Keep a perpective on all the highs and lows your face in life. Ultimately, thye are not all that different. Grateful for your honesty.

  93. Diane says:

    Hello, Matt !
    There are two things that I’ve realized after reading this. Firstly (and this is something that life reminds me over and over) not trust in appearances ! You say you’re introvert and people don’t believe you when you say that. I have to say that has surprised me as well ! ^^
    People also see me as some kind of person I’m not. They look at me and think I’m cold, which is not true. I say I’m the last child of my sibship and they think I’m the child who was spoiled by her parents or always get what she wants !! It ridiculous because it isn’t the case !!

    Secondly, like you said I have the bad habit to be hard of myself. I often feel like I’m not worthy.
    I’m working on this, but it’s hard to stop doing something you’ve done for a little more than 20 years. :P

    When I think of the things I can control, I realized than I am making progresses. I’ve begin to talk to people and make friends here and there. It’s a miracle if you know that a few months ago I wouldn’t have dare ! :D If some people just want to judge me without getting to know me, then it’s fine ! There are lots of others people (and great ones at that !) who will want to know the real me !

    The only thing that is annoying me right now is the fact that I can’t watch NBC since I live in Switzerland !!! :P

    I hope you’re having fun participating at this show and that it will be a success !!!

    Kind regards,
    Didi

    • Matthew Hussey says:

      It’s hard NOT to be hard on ourselves, but we have to work on it. No one likes working for a boss that bullies them all the time ; )

      Thanks for commenting Diane

      Matthew x

  94. claire says:

    Hi Matthew,
    As a burned out overachiever who has just spent the worst two months of my life reassessing my existence, I get the whole paralysis thing. Your core beliefs still need some work!
    You need to get to a place where the opinions of others are MEANINGLESS. Because… if they affect you, your core belief is that your worth in a situation can be determined or influenced by a thought in someone else’s mind. This is just not possible. A perception, held by another, based on their own set of core beliefs, cannot determine your self esteem or who you are in any way.

    It’s like saying:
    1. This person expressed a negative opinion about what I’m doing.
    2. This opinion changes me from a charismatic, successful expert entrepreneur into a small child who is just pretending to know stuff.
    3. I may therefore be exposed as a fraud, a boy pretending to be a man.
    4. I am now anxious about what I’m doing because I don’t want to be exposed.

    It’s your core belief causing the anxiety, and you are absolutely right to focus on the more positive beliefs. But also give gratitude to anyone who directs criticism towards you, this really works to grab the lesson you need and defuse a situation.

    Sorry if that sounds teacherish but a have been a school teacher a long time!

    For the record, I think you are brilliant. You have turned my beliefs about men on their head, and made me laugh so much I feel like myself again. You are doing great things and that’s why great things are coming your way.

    Warm regards,
    Claire.

    • Matthew Hussey says:

      Hey Claire,

      This is great stuff. I appreciate you bringing these insights to the table, I’m sure not just I, but a lot of people can benefit from reading them.

      Matthew x

  95. Anon also says:

    Hi Matt. This touched me also. You don’t know me and I don’t know you, except for your videos- but having lived in LA for a long time, and then moving to Europe a couple years ago for a change and because my own brand was growing– I deal with this every day. How I let it affect me every day varies tons, depending on a lot of internal and external factors. Consistent exercise and sleep fix it all. It sounds trite, but it’s true. Endorphins banish a lot of fears and doubts and little squigglies on the inside. Try to remind yourself (as a dear friend said to me) that you are only in this position right now because you have worked so hard for it, and you deserve to be as big as everyone is telling you you’re going to be. Take LA with a grain of salt. ;) It’s all hyperbolic- except, you really will help the women there. I know. As I said, I lived there. and now that I don’t, you still help me. Your engaging personality comes through in each video, and I am sure it comes through in real life as well. Uncertainty is a sign you’re growing. I bet.. you wouldn’t want it the other way. Take heart!! Pretty sure we’re all behind you. xx (I also never post on these things. But i feel you. Anyone who’s dared do something new.. would, also.)

  96. Lisa says:

    Somehow I feel positivley connected to you Matt because through your advise, I forced myself to be a better and happier me.
    I hope for you the show is what you want and you will get back what you give; I am just not a big fan of these ‘reality’-shows because I personally always have the impression that however ‘real’ they say it is, it cannot be. On the other hand it probaly will give women the opportunity to learn about your coaching skills and they will open up to the world around them and also benefit from what you can teach them.

    • Matthew Hussey says:

      I understand why you don’t like them Lisa. My hope is that with this one we won’t just get mindless drama, but real insight that can help people.

      Thanks for being here with me.

      M x

  97. celeste says:

    I’m super glad I read this. I almost gave up on my dream. Thank God you’re a real person that wants to help others not give up on themselves. That’s why you are my Spirit Animal.

  98. Jill says:

    In all my life the craziest thing I’ve ever done is move 2000 miles away from what I’ve always known and I did it because I know there are amazing things just waiting to present themselves. Has it been scary, absolutely! I just have to remind myself I’m not doing it alone and that if I can touch one life it will be way worth it. I have to say, Matt you’re already my celebrity :)

  99. Anon says:

    Just wanted to say keep your head up. I am going through the same uncertainty — have been going through the steps to apply to grad school for over 2 1/2 years while working & trying to deal with a health condition. I’m nearing the end of the journey, but have not known throughout if it would all will pan out. My life will change dramatically if I am accepted. I can’t imagine dealing with fame and the haters that come with it, but I wanted to share a quote that always inspires me.

    “It is not the critic who counts: not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles or where the doer of deeds could have done better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood, who strives valiantly, who errs and comes up short again and again, because there is no effort without error or shortcoming, but who knows the great enthusiasms, the great devotions, who spends himself for a worthy cause; who, at the best, knows, in the end, the triumph of high achievement, and who, at the worst, if he fails, at least he fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who knew neither victory nor defeat.”

    We only have about 50 good years on this planet — we are all responsible to have the most interesting and fulfilling ride we can during that time. Keep fighting and visualizing what you want, and you can’t fail.

    • Matthew Hussey says:

      Thanks Anon,

      Love that quote.

      x

      • Anya says:

        Well hey, one of the first quotes you received (“It is not the critic who counts…”) was the first thing to come into my head, too, upon reading this powerfully vulnerable blog post. Great minds, FTW!

        The quote is by Theodore Roosevelt, and is the keystone of Brene Brown’s Daring Greatly – http://amzn.to/166TcDI. If you haven’t seen her two TED talks, on the power of vulnerability http://youtu.be/iCvmsMzlF7o and listening to shame http://youtu.be/L0ifUM1DYKg, I highly recommend them; especially as she’s a very private person who talks about being thrust into the limelight, and the perils of haters, in her second talk (her first is one of the highest-ever viewed on TED).

        I was also reminded of Marianne Williamson’s line, ‘it is our light, not our darkness, that frightens us most.’ Face it, kitten, you’re a Prophet. You’ve got light and wisdom to spread around the world. (Really glad you’re not doing a Jonah and hiding in a whale to escape it, mind you. Think NBC might have looked askance at that…)

        Ostensibly, we’re all as afraid of success as we are of failure, we all fear losing a part of our identity (“the under-dog”, for example). But to now go Joseph Campbell on you, “we must be willing to get rid of the life we’ve planned, so as to have the life that is waiting for us.” You’ve got the tools, the loving and supportive family, friends and team, the self-awareness to make that happen. Plus, as evidenced here, the courage to be vulnerable. You’re a great example to others, as well as yourself, hun.

        Re your workload, am sending the Serenity Prayer to you (“God grant me the courage to change what I can” etc), and this final thought; I was lucky enough to be in a room with you and several other hundred ladies you’ve helped, coached, inspired and illuminated recently. The love in the room for you was palpable. Tangible. In any moment of doubt, of anxiety, especially when anticipating any negative responses; feel that love. Feel that pride, that love, that care, wrap around you and soothe and protect you. We, your tribe, your community, love the bones of you, dear boy.

        Just so you know :)

        xx

  100. Jill says:

    Am I really the first commenter?? :) :)

    • Matthew Hussey says:

      Yes lol

      • Kerry Chu says:

        Hi Matt,

        Just pop by to say really, really well done!
        You’re facing your fears head on! And doing wonderfully!! Yay!! Keep on believing!!

        I still remember I bumped into you in the lift before attending your seminar in London a long time ago! Wishing you nothing but the best! Woot Woot! xx

        Warmest blessings, fun and laughter on your journey!
        Kerry

      • Jill says:

        Just glad to know you are getting my messages

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