Stephen Hussey

As I’ve said before on this blog, I’m not a big texter (although I’ve tried to get better).

For me, too many texts back-and-forth all day, especially in dating, tends to turn things kind of bland.

I don’t know how to explain why exactly. Maybe it kills all the mystery. Maybe it’s just distracting to keep checking my phone all day. Or maybe it’s because I have a belief that texting should be fun, quick messages that “spark joy” (to use a term by Marie Kondo), instead of them being a substitute for real-life conversations you could be having in person.

I know this isn’t a popular opinion.

Most people keep in touch constantly on Facebook chat, or Instagram, or Whatsapp, tapping away and keeping multiple conversations going while they go about their day. And that’s fine. I’m not saying my “short and sweet” policy of texting should be adopted by everyone.

But in dating, I think we can lose something by having TOO MANY personal conversations over a messaging app. I often find it build the excitement more to see someone after a week and properly catch up, instead of having a constant news cycle of their text messages to keep me updated on their movements every day.

I prefer to be someone who has a few messages back and forth, and then says, “I better get back to work now, but can’t wait to see your face this weekend! x”, and carry on with my day, rather than the person checking their phone in five minute intervals for hours on end to keep picking up the thread on a conversation that has long since gone stale.

Again, this isn’t a popular opinion. And it is just an opinion.

But I think there’s a lot to be gained by saving some conversations for meeting in-person. I like it when I meet my friends who I haven’t seen in a week or two and get to catch up on their news and gossip.

Maybe you LOVE texting, and I know I won’t be able to convince you otherwise. But with the guy you’re dating, consider leaving more of your conversations when they’re on a high, rather than always allowing them to die down until you’re scraping the barrel for something to say.

A quick, adorable message to the guy you’re dating, like, “Gotta run, going out to have dinner with my housemates. But I’ll be secretly thinking about your cute dimples all evening. x”, does more to get his heart racing than yet another stale text conversation what happened at work today.

Use text messages because you have something to say, not because you have nothing to do.

What’s your view? Do you feel like you text too much with guys you’re dating? Let me know in the comments below.

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