The biggest threat to you being a high-value woman is the one guy in your life who isn’t treating you right.
I get so many emails from women that have one guy who’s not responding the way they want. He’s not calling, he’s not getting back when he says he will, and soon they begin to realise that he doesn’t want to be with them. A harsh reality to face up to at times, but needless to say, they become fixated.
In this moment, when this happens to someone, it doesn’t matter how great they are, how much they have going on in their life, how intelligent or how successful they might be – their confidence is going to be affected.
If right now you find yourself in similar circumstances, I want to provide a remedy…
Choice
Having choice with men. You need to know that there are options out there other than this one guy. The only way to do this, and to get over this fixation, is to go out and create more options for yourself.
We have two options in life, we can either WAIT or we can CREATE. To get over a fixation, you need to become someone who says to themselves, “I’m going to be a Creator.”
The more fixated you are, the more choices you need – the more you need to go out, meet new people, and break out of your comfort zone.
Adopt a mindset of being someone who is willing to try things that feel uncomfortable, to try on new personality traits for size, and to shake things up with your day-to-day rhythm.
The temptation will always be to quit, to surrender, and to wonder about this guy, but the only feeling that this temptation will lead you is to pain.
The more we wait, the more focused we become on the guy, the more pain we feel. And so the spiral continues…
I hope that this helps in shaking yourself out of it, and to get back out there and meeting more men.
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The upcoming Get The Guy book (January 31st, Transworld) is an amazing next step for doing this. The book is filled with practical examples of proactive approaches for getting back out there and doing things differently.
But right now I’m going to say something that’s a little bit strange… If you’re thinking of pre-ordering the book, don’t do it yet.
If you already have, don’t worry, you’re still going to be involved in everything I have to say, but if you haven’t pre-ordered, don’t do it right now.
Why?
This Thursday the book comes out. When it does, to celebrate on launch day, I’m going to be doing something that is truly crazy, and that I know will cause jaws to drop.
I’m not going to say anymore just yet… You can see what happens on the 31st.
Suffice it to say, I’m potentially more excited about this than anything we’ve ever done before (and there’s been a lot to be excited about!). This is a big deal.
Watch your inbox on Thursday, I’ll send you an email then to let you know exactly what’s happening.
I’ll see you then!
Hi Matt
I am also going through this with trying to forget about a man . And I completely agree with you with what you say I should do. I would love to go out and try to meet new guys but my problem is none of my friends ever want to go out anymore. They all have young families and are married. My last single friend found her self a partner so it’s just me and now I don’t know how to get out there!? :(
Hi Matt,
you are a godsend to women. I cannot believe how i found your videos on you tube, just as i needed to be empowered.
My first date after 11 years was really quite disapointing, just strange. Met this guy (through a dating web site) i really liked, he couldnt wait to meet me too, but in person, it didnt seem rigt. I could tell he wasn’t really attracted to me… a girl just knows. so i thought right maybe just friends then. Better luck next time, but he kept sending me messages saying he really likes me. every day i would have two three, four messages, just sweet, thoughtfull stuf. before long i was hooked. We had a second last minute date, which i didn’t really want at the time, because i was tired and had things to do, but he claimed to be lonely so i thought he was feeling down and agreed… Second date was worse than the first… He came half hour late. I couldt believe it. I was going to leave after fifteen, but then i thought if he is feeling down, i am only going to make it worse… Didn’t want to kick him while he was down. Surely enough, he came like nothing happened. He was absolutely fine… He said he met someone on the way and lost track of time… but he is here now, isnt he… I was upset and angry. I said stupid stuff…. he left fifteen minutes later. I dont understand the need to string me along… I broke it off after that, but here is the sad part. I miss him like crazy…. i am pretty sure there was something off about him, but i cant stop thinking about him. I keep checking for some messages, but nothing. i am such an idiot… Anyway i bought your book on amazon, it arrived today and i am starting to see the light already. Still checking my messages, but i dont feel so tragic any more. How come its the guys you dont really want to beggin with, that have the power to hurt you the most?
Anyway, thank you for being such amazing person and helping so many heartbroken women get back on their feet. Will do my best to follow your advice, though i will probably find it a bit hard…
Thanks for the wonderful job you are doing.
Hi Matt,
This seems to be my Achilles heel in dating. I meet a guy, chat or hang out and then I become the one chasing the guy. Also even if I know the guy is no good for me, I still find myself unable to resist texting or emailing him. I recently was texting the twin brother of someone I knew through work. We were messaging each other for about a week or so and had possible plans to meet for drinks. However, I get an email from his estranged wife saying that she found out he was cheating on her a month ago and she kicked him out, etc. Even after this..I still contacted this guy. Even though he is definitely not what I’m looking for. I have deleted his number, however I still manage to find a way to initiate contact with him. How do I stop this almost self-destructive behavior?
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