Under the radar touch-technique to build a connection with any guy

Have you ever been in a situation with a guy where you wanted to build a connection, but you were around other people?

If you missed this clip from Ready For Love, it’s been getting more attention than almost any other scene so far. Check it out…

–I was around friends and so I couldn’t talk with him…

–I was with work colleagues and there was NO WAY I wanted to be seen flirting…

–He was in a group, and I didn’t want to face that kind of pressure…

You can have your excuses, or you can have the guy, but you can’t have both.

In the video I walk through a simple yet effective way to build a connection with a guy that flies under the radar of anyone around you.

It’s something we call ‘misdirection’ and it involves directing your energy and attention to one person, while building up a physical connection with someone else in the group with a light touch.

Everyone around you will assume you’re just talking with the person you’re facing, and so this technique should help you overcome excuses that may otherwise be holding you back.

Misdirection and non-verbal communication are topics I really explore in detail in my online home-study course The Man Myth. To get more ideas for how to do this, and how to eliminate the excuses that are holding you back, check out the programme today for just $29.95.


To catch up on all of the latest episodes of Ready For Love, head over to NBC.com

74 Responses to Under the radar touch-technique to build a connection with any guy

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

  1. intlcircus.com says:

    I’d like to thank you for the efforts you’ve put in writing this
    site. I really hope to check out the same high-grade content by
    you in the future as well. In truth, your creative writing abilities has encouraged me to get my very own site now ;)

  2. Danielle Chuites says:

    This morning on the radio I LOVED your butterfly analogy and would love to look back on it every once in a while.

  3. vivian ojeda says:

    what is the butterfly analogy?

  4. Hyon Nickenberry says:

    It is so surprisingly open-handed of you to offer unreservedly
    just what a number of people might have made
    available as an ebook to help make some money for their own end, most
    importantly considering that you might well have tried it
    in case you considered necessary. Those pointers additionally worked like a good way to recognize that other people online have similar dreams really
    like my personal own to understand significantly more with regards to this matter.
    I think there are numerous more pleasant occasions up front for many who view your blog.

  5. Anna says:

    It’s hilarious- a guy did it on me recently in India, and it made me think of you Matt. It’s ever so subtle, but a popular move for a smooth guy haha!

  6. Dalrae says:

    Very nice of you to give such a handful tips on the show not to mention also writing comments on these women’s post here.

    I’m interested in this guy that I met online but it’s hard to make something to happen because we live different cities (5 hr driving distance) I should just move on, right?

  7. Samah says:

    Hello Matt :)
    I can’t watch the video ..it refused to work
    I need this so bad …please help ! :(

  8. Keira says:

    @Hussey!!! Guess who listened to you and had their game on tonight?? :D

  9. Nicholette says:

    I met you in Dallas!!! The event was awesome! Thank you so much :D

  10. Tanya says:

    hey matt thts really a great tip .
    help me too im trying hard to get over my x bf :(

  11. ash says:

    Hey Mattew! I think you are so baller and brilliant =) How do I sign up for your email tips? Could you please add my email to your list? xoxo Hope to meet you someday

  12. Andrea says:

    You always have something insightful and smart to say during the group discussions…. Arguably the main reason I watch the show! It’s amazing to hear what you know and how well you communicate it. Tonight’s butterfly analogy was great! I think it was a very eloquent way to express something many of us sometimes forget. Wish you the best!

    PS. Congratulations on the best seller (I love watching your videos, it’s incredible how close it brings you to your followers)

  13. Amina says:

    You are single ? I wish I had a chance :p

  14. Amy says:

    Hi Matt,

    So sat opposite a cute guy on the train home tonight and couldn’t think of anything to start an interaction! How do you start something when there’s nothing to start with?!?


  15. Ashley says:

    LOVE THIS! Always works ;)

    Matt, you do know you’re going to have women everywhere coming up and rubbing your back now, don’t you? haha wish I could meet you in Seattle, make sure to go to the Pike Place Fish Market and upload a video of you catching one of the fish! If you youtube it, you will understand what I mean haha have a great week!

  16. sheetal says:

    Hey…. Ive been getng ur mail and the tips are preety amazing… Me and my guy are living in two differnt cities…. Long distance realtion…. And it becomes realy difficult for us to meet… N now most of the time i have to remind him that even i exist… I said him dat we should move on but he is not letng me… What shud i do… Help…:'(

    • Matthew Hussey says:

      Hey Sheetal,

      If he’s not giving you what you want you have to move on. But don’t expect him to make it easy for you. You have to step up and have the courage to leave even when someone is playing with your emotions. We’re all here to support you through it : )


      • Keira says:


        I’ve been reading Get the Guy and thought you might like this quote:
        “All of these attitudes lead a woman to obligate herself prematurely to someone who doesn’t yet deserve her focus.”

        I have done this… Let go… You’ll feel better without the misery. Focus on what you want to do in your life. What’s your goals?

        From one girl to another :)

        Thanks Hussey … I haven’t done so good on this aspect, but I am learning from it. It helps to have you in our lives.. ;)

  17. nadia says:

    OMG, this is truly effective. I can see that Tracy is seduced and soooooooooooooooooooo into as we all are :)))

  18. Freeda Singh says:

    Hi,Matt.I love getting mail from you.Amazing,realistic tips that can blow ones mind away.I am attracted to someone in annother city from my self.We communicate by texting and speaking to each other occassionally.I am not sure how to keep him interested in me because of distance and his text basically greets me by a HI,nothing more.I want to keep him interested and open up to me.How do I do this?

    • Matthew Hussey says:

      Hey Freeda,

      It’s tough when you aren’t in close proximity to someone, because seeing someone in person and flaunting the best parts of yourself is the most effective way of increasing attraction. You can only do so much through calling and texting.

      If anything, I would try to skype him or get him on the phone, so that you can build more of a connection. Texting is only going to get you so far.

      Speak soon!


  19. anna says:

    cool matt,
    another good tips for today.. by the way,, loved your sexy accents.. :P

    take care..

  20. Daryn says:

    Oh my goodness, I’ve totally done this before but it didn’t work out! I think the guy I was misdirecting seemed creeped out by it after clearly avoided me the rest of the night. What am I doing wrong?

    Also, how do you do this in a work situation? I know I’m attracted to a guy there but I only get to see him there and that puts me at a bit of a disadvantage doing something like this anywhere NEAR the building!

    • Matthew Hussey says:

      Hey Daryn,

      If it’s done right people won’t be freaked out. The less well you know someone the quicker the touch should be. If you know someone better you can leave your hand there.

      As for the workplace, you can still be tactile, just do it in a fluid way that matches your conversation. When touch is done right people barely notice you are doing anything at all, and even if they do it feels natural and comfortable. Just don’t go touching anywhere TOO sexual during work hours lol.


      • Kira says:

        I agree. When someone first touches me I feel a bit surprised, it catches me off guard but if they leave their hand there for too long it gets uncomfortable. I’ve had this happen before and I found myself bending my back and maneuvering to get his hand away. I’d say the safe way to do this is to leave it there just long enough to surprise him and maybe even enough to feel your warmth but not enough to where he has time to shift away. Particularly when you’ve only known him for a little while.

        As far as the lower back is concerned, it feels weird to me to do so to a guy but a hand on the shoulder or arm I won’t have a problem with.

  21. Tuma says:

    Hey Matt,since i joined to you website i couldn’t stop reading your amazing tips..thats really works with me. i can’t wait to get more tips from you. HAVE A GOOD DAY

  22. Elle says:

    When I first saw this on Ready For Love I had to hit rewind. I really like that it is so under the radar.

  23. Faizah says:

    Wow! nice move Matt!!..
    I didn’t expect it, but what is the next move after building the attention with your touch?

    Thanks for sharing!

  24. Elsa says:

    you’re just the best, matt
    and everything you say is so effin true.

  25. Erica says:

    When you talk,ppl listen! The way things
    should be.

    • Matthew Hussey says:

      : ) Speak with authority and people will listen. I have always stuck to that.

      Thanks for commenting Erica


  26. Fiona says:

    Thanks Matthew, I realize I’ve been doing this to the wrong people! More a “hope you’re feeling comfortable in this crowd” rather than “I like you, let’s talk” vibe! Seems like I’ve wasted a lot of energy…should get a chance to practice this at a weekend gathering.

  27. Megan says:

    Matthew, How can I watch the show in the UK??

    • Matthew Hussey says:

      Hey Megan, right now the only place to watch it is nbc.com, but I know there are restrictions on watching from the UK. Sucks I know! My mum’s angry too lol.


  28. Erika Fiore says:

    OMG! I’ve done that before! And I got the guy’s attention and I didn’t even knew back then it could be used as “strategy”. I just…rubbed his back, instinctively.

  29. Keira says:

    Guess I have to work on my “game”‘! Just have no clue about what to say after hi!!

    Woke up to this!! You’re a pretty cool guy Hussey ;) Made my morning!

  30. Sandi says:

    You can have your excuses or you can have the guy.
    You can’t have both.
    Yes! Thank you!

  31. Helena says:

    Wow, I can’t believe I was doing that all wrong! I was actually talking to the person I was interested in and touching the person I already had a connection with.

    This video was such a revelation!

    Thank you, Matthew and GetTheGuy Team for the highly useful content, not just for our love lives, but for our social lives altogether.


    • Matthew Hussey says:

      Of course Helena!

      My aim is to give you advice that helps you with people in every part of your life : )


  32. kaoutar says:

    HEY MATTHEW!! I’m kaoutar from MOROCCO.
    You’re absolutely right;that technique is very powerful i liked because it works with anyone.

  33. A says:

    Uncle Hussey at it again! He blows away all dating advisers. He’s a guru! Loved the hot pink book!

  34. Kathryn says:

    Phew, the lady in the red dress looked like all her Christmas had come at once when you got up to touch her…
    Do you not think rubbing someone in the small of their back is a bit full on?
    Maybe if it felt right at the time, you would clearly have to be in that particular scenario.
    It is a little bit scary when you see women as beautiful as the blonde lady looking for love, I think that rules me out : ) xx

    • Matthew Hussey says:

      Hey Kathryn,

      When you throw someones attention away from you by not focusing on them, but you are touching them at the same time, it comes across as more subtle even if the touch is a little sexual.

      And don’t compare yourself like that, you’ll bring beauty to guys in your own way!


  35. Barbara says:

    Yey! I tried loading the page again and I could actually watch the video! :D Thanks for fixing that. Love the advice you give in the video. I’ll try it some time, because I’m usually the type, who doesn’t touch a person for a long time and then when I want to it’s kind of awkward for me.

  36. Mirjam says:

    I can’t watch the youtube video either. But I think this video is what he refers to:


  37. Rebecca says:

    Hotspot shield installed despite McAffee warning. Location states United States, Torrance, still can’t watch!

  38. Manon says:

    I can confirm it’s a great way of building a connection. :)Only a soft quick touch suffices.

    For those who cannot watch the video, try using Hotspot Shield (free).

  39. amelie says:

    please do something to make it possible for us to watch it!!! in germany!!!

    thanks a lot lot lot!!! xx

  40. Lenne says:

    Hey Matthew

    It’s too bad that in Europe could not watch the video ><

    • gettheguy says:

      Hey Lenne, the video is now up. Hope you enjoy!

      • Lenne says:

        Thanks for making the video available ^^
        I didn’t know you can make a connection with someone with this technique. I usually avoid touching someone because i think it’s ackward. I will try it out thank you so much Matthew.

  41. Freeda Singh says:

    I am so disappointed that we in South Africa,could not watch your video.

  42. Natalie says:

    Hey Matthew, I’m in the UK but it won’t let me view the video :(

Read previous post:
A modern take on the ‘white handkerchief approach’…

A reader sent this in last week (thank you Joanne!) as 'an alternative to the white handkerchief trick'. I thought...