Want to Get Over Your Ex OR Get Him Back? Don’t Do This…

If you’re going through a painful breakup right now, or if you’re still not over your ex (no matter how long it’s been), today’s video is for you…

I’m going to reveal the seemingly harmless – yet most destructive – mistake women make after a relationship ends and tell you how YOU can avoid it…

Check out my program “Get Him Running Back to You” here.


9 Texts No Man Can Resist

38 Responses to Want to Get Over Your Ex OR Get Him Back? Don’t Do This…

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  1. Jojo says:

    This video is ONE of few videos that Mathew is not being sarcastic or funny, and guess what ! He is SO charming.. Xoxox

  2. Tiger says:

    This is good. I recently purchased the fast track to mr right program and its very interesting. I was considering getting the break up one but I’m really confused. Part of me misses him so much and I had such a deep connection with him but the other part of me knows I deserve so much better. I dated him for 2 months, he adored me, within 2 weeks he wanted to make things official and exclusive and after a month he told me he loves me. then he got a second job and went from working 50 hours a week to 80 hours a week and became very cranky. sometimes he said things that made me think he is very insecure, he would question whether or not I still want to be in a relationship with him which I thought was weird. but i would reassure him that I really wanted to be with him. All of a sudden I get a random text saying that we need to end that he hates it here and has to move back home (interstate) and cant be with me, he refused to talk to me so I left it. A week later I get a message saying I miss you. We spoke on the phone and met twice and I was very hurt and angry and expressed how cowardly and heartless his actions were. he said that he had lied to me, his boss had told him he has to move back interstate (because his job was temporary to begin with) and he loves me so much he couldnt face me to break up so he had to text me and said he wanted me to hate him so the breakup would be easier. He told me he wants to stay and he wants to be with me and only me and told me to my face that he loves me. In the week I was very cold and distant because I was processing it all. I felt insecure that he wasnt genuine with his feelings even though deep down I know he loves me I just questioned his character and if it was the type of person i wanted to be with. I told him to give me space but we still spoke everyday but not much. one night on the phone he was very cranky with me and started to question my integrity in regards to speaking with other men. I had told him that I had stopped interaction with all other men since we decided to sort things out and deleted my online dating, yet he turned the situation around onto me and when I was distant he claimed that I must have met someone, which wasnt the case AT ALL. I was merely hurt and doubting the whole relationship. I called him to talk and explained that I love him but I felt the relationship was starting off very unhealthy with all the drama of him lying and him questioning my integrity and I didnt feel good about it all. I was partly hoping he would talk me out of it and make me feel like he would fight for me but also partly just wanted the pain to end by breaking it off. It was like talking to a brick wall. he just got angry and when i asked him how he felt he said he reckons its suss and I must have met someone else or have a “back up”. he said he wont bother me anymore and hung up. 5 days later I texted him explaining that I love him and I shouldn’t have told him to give me space because that made it worse. that if he cared he should contact me. I never heard back and this was 2 weeks ago. I’m so hurt and don’t understand how he can shut me out if he loves me? I would greatly appreciate any advice. I really miss him but this is not any way to treat and honest faithful woman.

  3. Erla Kristin says:

    This was a great video. I only started watching your videos recently and honestly wish I had started sooner. Almost two weeks ago me and my fiance broke up, we had been together for 2 1/2 years. Even though it was a mutual decision at the time, since the relationship had not been working for a while, as soon as it was actually over I regretted it. We still talk from time to time, and today we had a really nice moment together.. like we used to. I want him back, because we do have a very good connection and fit well together. But I’m just not sure how I should go about it, cause this is the first time that I have actually REALLY wanted to get an ex back..

  4. MJ says:

    Dammit- that was good!! Yes!! Agreed and I’ve actually been there. Yes and yes!! I think it’s easier and more comfortable to just relax. Especially after going through that trauma. Remember: it’s all about making us better for the next situation.

  5. Nadya says:

    I think i might disagree a bit with this. It seems like you’re representing clubs and partying as a bad thing, but from my past experience some of the greatest night I had was after a breakup when I just went to party with my party friends or by myself, yeah got wrecked a bit, but met great funny positive people and had crazy experiences which I would never have if I just stayed at home watching movies or crying to my girlfriends. I just focus on the music and the atmosphere and don’t think about just getting someone for this night. Going a little bit extreme during this time sometimes helps you to feel that you can party and enjoy life, and also have stories to tell later on. I mean I don’t think you could go party hard when you’re married with kids for example and it’s not such a bad way to amplify your single life.

  6. Joanna Liu says:

    It’s a really great video. No matter where you are, in or out of a relationship, being a good, positive you is always the right way. However, sometimes we are too concern about how we feel. My boyfriend said that he can’t feel the spiritual connection between us. He said I always say that how he didn’t care for me but I never ask him what he feels. I know that’s my fault. I know that he has his problem but sometimes, I would think that men are not like women who would rather say all their problems out unless they want to. So I thought if he wants to talk about it, he would talk to me. But instead, he said that he had mentioned about the problem but I never ask him about it. That’s because I thought that he meant that he was bothered by it and doesn’t want me to interfere or bother him more. And I don’t know how to help him either. Which then turn out to be fight between us. How can I get over this? I feel hurt to know that I hurt his feelings and make him thinks that I does not care for him which is absolutely the opposite. Matt, what can I do?????

    • Brian says:

      First, take a deep breathe. It’s okay.

      What you want to do, is focus on soothing your feelings of guilt, and self-judgment. You did nothing wrong, there was simply miscommunication. That’s all. Instead of focusing on the past of what you did not do, focus on the present, focus on now, of what you can do. And you can communicate to them what you communicated here. Just be open and honest with them on how you felt, and your perspective.

      Now here’s the key: You want to communicate your perspective, without any expectation of needing them to understand your perspective. When you tell them how you feel, and you need them to hear you, then if they do not hear or understand your perspective, you would most likely get upset, angry, and create an argument in an attempt to get them to hear you. You can avoid getting upset and not have an argument when you are simply giving your perspective, with no expectation that they need to hear your perspective.

      Before you have a conversation with them, the best thing you can do right now, is to focus on soothing yourself, loving yourself, and feeling better. And from that better feeling place, it will make it easier to have an uplifting conversation and you will be able to communicate your perspective in a much more clear and loving way.

  7. Lan says:

    Great advice Matt! I love how you go against the grain and teach people to be more self loving.

  8. Darla says:

    Thank you Matt for the additional thoughts around your Get Him Back program. I have the program and its the most unique program i’ve ever seen or completed on the topic. You and Stephen gave me practical help and more importantly encouragement for getting my Ex back. I didn’t get him back but he was responsive to the program. I feel it would have worked but many things got in the way. Plus, I came to the understanding that I no longer want him back- as you said you can’t loose either way. ;)

  9. Vavavoom says:

    Matt there is a question I’ve been wondering about for some time, that I think others must be wondering about too:

    How does someone who loses energy by interacting with people – an introvert – live as a charismatic person?

    I’m thinking about how some people just seem to have some sort of extraness, x-factor, star quality, a presence and charisma that just makes them stand out. the natural celebrity.. i’m sure you know exactly what I mean..
    I was wondering how an introvert manages to have enough energy to be like that. How do they manage to not feel/get drained in the space of an hour? Do you have to be an extrovert to be THAT guy/girl?

    I really hope you will answer this question :) thank you :)

    • Brian F. says:

      ”How does someone who loses energy by interacting with people – an introvert – live as a charismatic person?”

      The reason a person would lose energy by interacting with people, is not because they inherently lose energy just by simply being around other people, but rather they are disconnecting themselves from their own energy, so they experience the feeling of being drained.

      So many people care more about the opinions other’s have of them than of the opinion they have of themselves. The challenge with that is, everyone wants something different, and when you try to accommodate all of what they want you to be, then you will attempt to stand on your head in a million different ways trying to please everyone. When you’re trying to please everyone, you stop caring about how you feel and pleasing yourself. When you have disconnected yourself from your own alignment with yourself and your good feelings, you will naturally feel drained.

      In order for you to recharge your batteries, it is easier for you to pull yourself away from others, find your own space, and regain your energy. The reason you feel better is because you are no longer attempting to please the opinions of others. In the moments of being by yourself, you’re focused on you and your well-being.

      When you are attempting to receive or even win over people’s positive opinions of you, it is exhausting because you can never do enough to make sure everyone is always happy and feeling good. Because you cannot control how others feel. But, you can control how you feel. And you can feel good, regardless of people’s opinions of you. When you focus on feeling good, regardless of other people’s opinions, that is when you have made your good feelings, your happiness, unconditional. That is when you practice unconditional happiness.

      The people that care more about how they feel and what they think of themselves than what other people think about them, is when people observe them and think, “That person just seems to have some sort of extraness, x-factor, star quality, a presence and charisma that just makes them stand out.” It’s because they don’t care what you think. By that I mean, they do not allow other people’s opinions determine their self-worth. They decide and choose to feel worthy, regardless of the opinion’s of others.

      • Vavavoom says:

        Thank you for atempting to answer my question, I’ll consider what you’ve said… however my scepticism towards your answer is the exact concern I had about asking this question: the common misconception of introversion as insecurity and in lack f bbetter english on my part: the use of the word drained.
        I think you may be thinking about shy people or social anxiety or something allong the lines of that… but certainly not introversion. Susan Cain on TED talk did a wonderful job explaining introverts. (4:17 in the video on youtube).
        In terms of the word drained I didn’t have a better word so I’ll take the blame for that. Thank you for the respons though, I’ll consider your thoughts…

        • Phoebe says:

          Brain- That was an excellent response! Worrying about people reactions is draining.

          Vavavoom- I LUV your username! I get what you’re saying. I can get out there and be confident, but the excess stimulation makes me tired. The very loud folks, and those that blab too much drive me crazy! I think the trick to take breaks when needed, but also surrounding yourself with people you enjoy.

          And you’re right- people associate introversion with being with lacking social skills which isn’t true. I think introverts have a “coolness” about them when they embrace themselves, that is very different from the extroverts. Take Johnny Depp for example, if you watch his interview you’ll notice right away he is an introvert but he owns it! He has that relaxed sexiness about him that draw you in! .)

          So, when you think of “star quality” don’t think of it as being too out there or the life of the party. Think of the effortlessly cool introverts that are more subtle.

  10. Vavavoom says:

    Mattere there is a question I’ve been wondering about for some time, that I think others must be wondering about too:

    How does someone who loses energy by interacting with people – an introvert – live as a charismatic person?

    I’m thinking about how some people just seem to have some sort of extraness, x-factor, star quality, a presence and charisma that just makes them stand out. the natural celebrity.. i’m sure you know exactly what I mean..
    I was wondering how an introvert manages to have enough energy to be like that. How do they manage to not feel/get drained in the space of an hour? Do you have to be an extrovert to be THAT guy/girl?

    I really hope you will answer this question :) thank you :)

  11. Alison says:

    This really spoke to me today! I love your advice on vices. And it makes so much sense. And to restore your faith in the good in life with that kind of activity/people. instead of the whole staying out late debacle. Seems rather obvious AFTER your video, Matt. But I never remember looking at it from that perspective when I was in that place. :P Cheers!! Thanks. xo

  12. Dianna says:

    You are awesome matt

  13. Anna says:

    Hey Matt,
    I got your program, but it is not fit to my situation. I would be happy If you add to this program an option for a couple who are living in other countries or other cities.

  14. L says:

    Hi Matt!!! Your advice is always brilliant. Also, I purchased that program months ago when you first released it, and I just wanted to say thank you, thank you, thank you. It’s such a useful guide, which gave me a lot of clarity. At the time I purchased it, I was debating whether to end the relationship or keep going. Your program helped me realize that I deserve more and that he wasn’t meeting my standard so I ended it. It was hard to do, but I did it. It is currently bolstering my resolve to get over him and get me back to feeling normal again, not heartbroken. Some days are harder than others, but it’s definitely getting better, and I’m living a happier, more fulfilled life without him in it. Thanks again, Matt xo

  15. Zoe says:

    Hey Matt! Thank you so much for this video. I can say from experience that going out and getting drunk, smoking, sex with people without a relationship etc does not help when you’ve broken up with someone and are still hurting.
    I have been getting healthy, giving up smoking and started going to the gym with PT sessions and it’s been a massive relief. Learning how to do something or achieving a task (cooking meals, reading 25 books in a year) gets you much more satisfaction than drinking excessively to forget your ex existed.
    I think the best thing people should do is ensure they’ve built a solid foundation before they get into a relationship, because these hobbies, friends, family will be what they turn to if things go bad.
    I have my party friends and I have my more chilled out friends. I’ve needed my chilled out friends so much this year and they’ve done wonders for me.

  16. Anon says:

    Brilliant advice :)

  17. Stella says:

    Thank you so mmuch for this video, it helped me !

    I’m from France and I just want you to know that you help people all around the world, and it’s amazing. Your advice are, in my opinion, the best advice.

  18. anon says:

    I like the video. Thank you Matt. I just think drugs especially are bad (we were always taught in school to “just say no to drugs”)…& I think that drinking excessively to get over a break-up is extremely self-destructive. I was a bit surprised to be honest Matt that you mentioned drugs in this video.

  19. Eve says:

    Ugh. Thanks, as always, Matthew. ♡

  20. Elizabeth says:

    So spot on Matt! From personal experience I have found everything you have said to be so true, not just for dealing with break ups but for losses of all kinds (death, etc). These are such difficult times when we are our most vulnerable and sensitive. They are times in which we need to be our own best friend and baby ourselves a little to deal with the pain. Thanks so much for a great video!

  21. Sophie says:

    Great advice x

  22. debbie says:

    Mathew this a great article. Not just getting over an ex but for other losses in life. I think we gave all done this in our life at one time or another. I’ve learnt through my life only to hang around and be around positive people and things. I love your openess and not being judgemental to the way we can deal with our own hurt either drink drugs ect and you never push towards what you should do. So many coaches you read say go gym go on a diet ect. Yes these are good but not always what you want to do. I think small steps even if it’s a coffee with friends/family then go bigger. Great advice for anybody going through break up or other stresses in life. Love watching/reading your stuff.

  23. Kera says:

    Hi Matt,

    What happens when your ex still hasn’t responded to your texts after messaging him the second round?

  24. Hi says:

    Love you too Matt.

  25. Debbie says:

    Hi Matt,
    Thanks so much for your videos! You are always there each Sunday with your awesome advice & compassion.Its obvious that you are so authentic with your feeling and so you know how it feels after a breakup. Thank you for compassion,advice,passion and your love for us.I also love your humor!
    I was guilty trying to date too soon after my divorce thinking it would help me get over him. You are so right, it did make it feel worse. When he wanted to hold my hand or put his arm around me made me miss my ex more because it just wasn’t the same. It has been 3yrs.since mydivorce and my heart has healed and I am ready to meet the new man in my life. I have been dating more now and I really appreciate all of the advice from you and your brother! XX

  26. DJ says:


    Your parents must be so proud of you. They clearly did a great job! I absolutely agree that engaging in edifying behaviors with the folks that know you well is the way to heal from the pain of a breakup. Keep up the good work!

  27. Alma says:

    I love watching your videos and as always you give great advice, however this video is a little bit distracting, the zooming in and zooming out was quite a bit annoying. It didn’t flow and it kept doing it fast, that i couldn’t even focus to what you’re saying. Plus the depth of field from the zooming in/out was distracting too, it just made it look weird. I like looking at your handsome face in a consistent and simplistic manner ;) love u!

  28. Evelyn says:

    Yay Matt! Another video related to being a woman of high value (disguised as “how to get an ex back”). The reason your theory works is because by using the methods you recommend one can emotionally strengthen oneself… which gets one over an ex, or shows the ex in question that one is still a strong, confident, amazing person. Thanks for the reiteration.


  29. Katie says:

    Thank you for this.

  30. Jackie says:

    Oh Matt, this is brilliant and touching. Makes perfect sense and uplifting. Please keep these Blogs going. Possibility is important. Don’t want my Ex back. Just intend to get over him. Looking forward to feeling normal again.

  31. ann says:

    Matt, love the authenticity and empathy you demonstrated here. As well as some excellent points and advice!



  32. Oleita says:

    EX is an X because the X is a big huge cross sign ,,,,which belong to the PAST ! :D !

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