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What Happened to All the “Real” Men?

I was surprised to scroll through the comments of my last video and find the following complaints:

  • “Modern men are such cowards
  • “A real man should go after what he wants…”
  • “This is beta male behavior…”

I have some strong opinions on this


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111 Replies to “What Happened to All the “Real” Men?”

  • Great video Matt!! I love it! Very true and you’re great with words! Keep making awesome video’s xoxo

  • Oh yeah.

    Omg, omg, Oh.My.Godddd. Matt, you put out. And actually, I need to put out (workwise :}) too, but I cannot NOT respond to you regarding this video. I have such respect for your work (and your ability to work a camera, too, wow) that it requires I take the time to respond again.

    I am SORRY about the reactions a few of these women had. Unfortunately, very unfortunately, they are a subset within your group of followers here that are expanded out across the Western world…women are presently (it Seems — not like I’m playing God or anything) in a total reactionary mode against males. Now I think this is to be called “natural.” But the thing is, these women are NOT good spokespeople for the issue. You already know this, I’m aware. To go all the way back to caveman mentality and think a REAL man “just goes after what he wants” is bullshit deeper than bullshit. That men are not excused for the SAME STUFF we as females do in social and/or mating situations is Bullshit beyond bullshit. My view is precisely that of yours, in fact I’d call it “reality” to say that the way these women judged the men is exactly how they feel about and judge themselves. VERY SAD. I wish I were more compassionate about that, and I REALLY hate myself when I find myself playing into that as though some ill wind blew across the collective of humanity and I, being one, picked it up by default. When I hand off some gender-related excoriation to a male friend or even my partner, I could eat myself alive for it once I’ve heard back what I said, or after I calm down, drink wine, get stoned, whatever I have to do to lose the smallness of my hopefully temporary attitude. You handled that supremely, Matthew. Was that difficult??? Jeezuz, haa. I suspect (assume…) males are just the same as the rest when it comes to picking up an “ill wind” — the guys who give the rest of you a bad name are just acting out some weird control thing born of insecurity, aren’t they? Isn’t it pretty much that simple? Maybe religious beliefs, whatever, but they’re grounded in INsecurity of self, right? And what, female humans are somehow freaking ABOVE IT ALL??? I’m just sorry, Matt. I hope we ALL learned something, and very quickly so, from your “retorts”; it was well-deserved. And again — as usual, very well-delivered.

  • I do get a laugh out of that statement. Where did all the good men go.

    What I hear translated in my head is why aren’t the good men sweeping me off my feet, or at least asking me out.

    Ask yourself what a good man is. Chances are you got a list something like this.
    Strong, decisive, confident, passionate, dedicated, chivalrous, compassionate and so on.

    There’s a very good chance he is attracted to people like him. In fact people with the opposite sort of traits will be a turn off.

    Look at your list again.

    Go out and become the female equivalent of that list. Once you decide to be the things on your list your eyes should open up and you will start to see the world differently. You will find yourself losing your drama filled friends and they will be replaced by good people. You will start doing things that take you to places where good people are. You will start to find good men, men who you are now attracted to, men who are now attracted to you.

    Or don’t.

  • Burst right out laughing when you compared the commenter to Trump, because I was thinking the same thing! Soooo true. Ahhh hahaha. Still giggling. “Sad!”

  • Sorry, Matt, but I can’t agree. There’s something misunderstood here… When women complain about men being cowards or ‘not real men’, it’s not about initiating a conversation, it’s not about getting to know each other. The problem is when two people are already involved in something, there has been some flirting already, but the guy does not step forward. It can be so frustrating when you feel stuck, you feel that things are not going anywhere, though the guy has already shown signs and you did, too. Women often expect guys to solve this problem, to get out of this uncertain, stuck situation, and women think it’s the guy’s job to do this.

  • Hey Matthew…what an awesome video! Love how you are always so passionate about helping people and showing kindness to those who gets all the complaints…very classy! Makes me want to cuddle you.Lol It’s not about the men who gets complained about, it’s really the women!! It’s the law of attraction…and what they radiate, they must attract!! They tend to talk crap about the guys but in actuality, it’s all about them!! Keep doing what you do best and don’t ever stop making me laugh

  • I recently ended a three year relationship that for the last year of it he showed little to no sexual desire for me. I hate to admit it but my self esteem took a serious hit. When I told a cab driver that I’ve known for a year and half about the break up he offered “friends with benefits”. Every time I had rode in his cab he was always so nice and he is sexy in an adorable kind of way so I agreed. We were both satisfied with the benefits. Honestly my motivation was just to feel to desired. What ended up happening though was I started to like him and wanted more but I wasn’t sure what to do about it though. There is a saying “the teacher will appear when the student is ready to learn”. Four days ago I came across one of your videos on Youtube. I binged on videos and downloads while texting and talking to him using what I was learning. We have our first date this weekend. Never in my wild dreams did I think I would get results in four days. I know you are very busy so I wanted to thank you for taking the time to read this and to thank you for the help with getting the guy.
    Much love and gratitude
    JJ

  • O my! This vid was fun! These girls argue about comfort zones of guys, while they are probably still in their own, waiting for “prince charming” to sweep them off their feet. I think the big issue here is, not only body language but also communication. Why is there so much pressure on just a question or a small conversation!? Ego, embarrassment, giving away too much, this stuff is all tricks of the mind.

    Then again, thanks Matt, keep on going, your vids makes me smile almost every time ;) (i certainly did during this one)

  • Great vídeo! I truly believe that instead of saying a real man should go after what he wants you should take a look At yourself and be more what you want in the man you want

  • Hey Matt!

    What kind of self development books would you recommend??? Not necessarily about relationships but about confidence, for instance.

    I’d be very grateful!

    Lorena C. Dornelas

  • Hi Matt
    I live in Australia and have recently discovered a best kept secret of single women – YOU! (FLattery will get you everywhere, right!)
    Loved this video, recently I took it one step further, and now I’m not sure I’ve done the right thing. I’ll try keep this short and sweet and to point.
    Met guy online 2 months ago. Met up, and had great 2 and a half hour chat fest. He sent lovely message next day, clearly interested. We agreed to meet up again once he was back from holiday. 12 days later we went to dinner. I was already going to this unusual “psychic dinner thing with friends and invited him along. He said yes, I thought, “Wow, he must really like me to come to this!” Landed up being just him and I and my hot friend. The dinner was boring as bat sh*t, but the drinks before and after were good. We had a very decent kiss at the end of the night and went our separate ways. I woke up the next morning to a message from him, and he continued to message me during the day and a little bit the next morning. Then things went quiet for about 3 days and I eventually asked him out right if he was still interested or not. The next day he replied that he thought was a “fantastic woman with a great sense of humour,”, but that he didn’t feel a spark. Yes, I’ll admit I probably choked less than half way through our last date, after I realised I really liked him. I responded to him message amicably and that was that, but I couldn’t get him off my mind. 4 weeks passed and I thought “screw it”. I sent him this…”Hi. I’ve decided to really put myself out there. I can’t help but think there is still something to explore here. How do you feel about it – meeting for a coffee or drink?”. He Replied “Hi. THank you bla bla bla. I’m more than happy to catch up again when I’m back in town mid April, if you’re still interested then”. I said, “Yes I’d like that, I’ll leave it to you to let me know when you’re free on your return”. I’m half not expecting to hear from him, and am totally going on with life making it interesting and fabulous, have a sense that I’ve lost nothing whether we meet up again or not (ball is well and truly in his court), but if we do, what’s the best way for me to tackle this gorgeous alpha male, without coming across as either too confident and complimentary, or plain old boring? I’ll try to be my usual funny self…..but I feel I need a little more artillery in this circumstance. Help Please!!
    P.S. He’s one of your countrymen….I do love me a good Englishman!

  • Thank You! I really often wondered why guys are so strange. But You truly gave me a new perspective. I am a woman that don’t like games, I like honesty, openes and fairness. I am more of the traditional person and always thought that guys needs to persue me but it actually never happened to me. I am attractive and liked person and have many friends but guys don’t stick. I don’t know what I do wrong or do I choose the wrong guys. Do I really have to play all the rules in order to get him to stick. I know guys that are together with such demanding girls, or mean girls or gold diggers. I truly don’t know what I do wrong:(

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