Many women suffer from the problem of not knowing what gets a man to commit, and it usually stems from a fundamental misunderstanding of how guys think.
In this short piece, I’m going to give you some simple secrets of male psychology that explain why men can be so difficult in deciding whether they want a long-term relationship.
There is an important disclaimer to this article, and it’s a biggie, but it’s crucial to understand: not all men are the same.
Women often think that there must be one secret formula that explains every single man’s behaviour. The real truth though is that there as many reasons a guy (or anyone) may shy away from commitment as there are reasons he might want to end a relationship. It depends on the nature of the problem.
So here are just a few reasons a guy may be hesitant to get into something more serious:
1. Because he can’t be “convinced” into a relationship
Many women make the mistake of thinking that men can logically decide on a relationship.
But the decision to commit doesn’t work like that.
A guy cannot be told of all the reasons why commitment would be a good idea before he feels like he wants to be in a relationship.
The trick is to use ATTRACTION first, and then escalate naturally to the more serious issue of a relationship.
This is where so many women go wrong. They attempt to use PERSUASION and LOGIC when they should be concentrating on being a desirable catch, adding value, and showing him how incredible she can be to have in his life.
In other words, they need to engage his DESIRE and EMOTIONS.
This isn’t just the case when you first meet a new guy either: it’s also a crucial part of the story of how to get your ex back if you’ve broken up and want him to re-commit to a relationship.
Once again here, logic isn’t the answer: only his feelings will make him want to be back together.
2. Because he doesn’t have his life together yet
Some guys you’ll hear say that they’re “just can’t handle a relationship” at this point, or they’ll always be talking about how a relationship will keep them “tied down” when they just need to be free.
This typically happens with young guys who, quite frankly, haven’t got their shit together yet.
Sadly, this one is really an issue of timing, and there’s no point trying to convince a guy who doesn’t want a relationship why he should fast forward and decide to want one.
In certain cases, if he’s attracted enough AND you show that you have boundaries and will simply walk away if he doesn’t want to take things further, a guy will decide to commit.
But he has to decide to commit on his own.
This is an old lesson but a crucial one: People value what they choose to invest in. If a guy feels like he has suddenly sleepwalked into a relationship without deciding himself, he’ll feel resentful and will want to break free and resume his single life again.
3. Because he’s scared you’ll be too needy/too much drama
Some women make the mistake of trying to jump the gun and switch straight to relationship mode so quickly that a guy freaks out, worrying that she’ll be needy and emotionally dependent on him for her fulfilment.
That’s is why it’s so important, no matter how attracted to you feel to a guy, to always tend to your own lifestyle, your friends, your work, and other parts of your life that bring you joy and fulfilment if you want him to commit. It’s the first secret of how to be a good girlfriend: don’t depend on your partner as your sole source of happiness.
A man always wants to win a woman who is living a killer life even without him. His hope is just that he can prove to you why he’ll make it even better!