Let’s face it…
In every relationship, no matter how great it is, there will be the occasional argument. It’s inevitable.
But, too often, when we get angry with our partner, we get resentful and we crack the whip.
We constantly beat them over the head with what they are doing wrong. We say things like, “You NEVER make me a priority…” or “You ALWAYS choose your friends over me…”
The problem with this approach is then they end up resenting us, because they think, “well, I can never do anything right, and you don’t believe in me, and you don’t think that I’m something special. I’m now just a punching bag for you,” and they don’t want to do well for you.
The key in any relationship is for the other person to want to do good things for you.
To want to be a good partner, to want to be a good friend, that’s the key.
You don’t want them doing it just because you’re watching or just because you nagged them today.
You want it to be this pattern of them wanting to do good by you.
If you can show that you are a fan of your partner first, and then show your frustrations, they’re going to be on your side in a completely different way…
For example, if you say, “you know how much I love you, I care about you so much and I think the world of you, but I’m so frustrated right now because our relationship keeps having this problem.
“I don’t want it to have that problem, because I know how great we can be, and I know how amazing you are, but I’m not getting that side of you and I don’t know how long I can go with not having that side of you.”
You can compare that with, “if you keep doing this, I’m leaving, because I’m sick of this crap from you.”
When you go down that route you don’t inspire him to be better.
Show that you are a fan first, and then show your frustrations.
Now you might be reading this and thinking, “why do I have to show him I’m a fan when he’s doing something I don’t like?”
Well if you’re not a fan then why are you with him?
If truly you are not a fan anymore, don’t have him as your partner anymore. But if you are still in it, and you’re still sharing a bed with him, then you’ve got to still love him.
You’ve still got to be on his side, and value his progress and his growth. That’s what’s going to get him to want to help you and want to be a better person for you.
And that’s the recipe for a healthy, harmonious relationship.
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“How to Talk to Men: 59 Secret Scripts to Melt His Heart, Unlock What He’s Thinking, And Make Him Want to Be With You Forever.”In it, I give you the exact words to say to get him attracted, committed, and constantly striving to be a better man for you…Download Your Scripts Here >> (You’re welcome!) Matt xx