Why the Littlest Thing Can Make Him Disappear Forever…
The very early stages of dating are as fragile as a thin sheet of fresh ice on a pond.
One small crack can quickly spread into a deep fracture, causing the whole surface of the ice to collapse and submerge into the freezing cold water.
In other words, in the delicate moments between first flirtation to real commitment, the littlest things you say and do can shatter your fragile connection with a man into a million pieces and make him disappear into the abyss, never to be heard from again…
Why is this?
It’s so frustrating!
You think: What gives a guy the right to write me off so easily? I’m amazing! He doesn’t even know me yet!
Well that’s exactly the point.
He doesn’t know you.
You don’t have a solid connection yet. You don’t have history. You’re missing that bond that can only come from shared experiences, deep communication, and hard-won trust.
It’s a completely different story when you’re in a committed relationship with someone who really knows you. When your bond is strong, you can withstand almost anything –certainly all the “little things” that would prematurely push a new guy away…
Take this text:
Now, in a committed relationship, your boyfriend might see this text and think, “That’s annoying. She knows how hard it is to get all my friends together. But wait – she never asks me to cancel plans. Come to think of it, she did seem really down about something this morning…”
But this same exact text to a guy you just met? Well, he’s much more likely to think this:
“How needy! I’d never date a woman who makes me choose between her and my friends. Time to delete her number.”
But listen – before you go to the “why bother? All guys are jerks” place on this, ask yourself: “Have I ever done this?”
Can you remember a date with a guy you thought you were into, until he made some off-hand comment that instantly turned you off like, “I can’t remember the last time I read a book?” It’s the same thing.
Until the thin sheet of ice on the pond has a chance to harden into thick layer where it’s safe and secure, until you’ve got that solid bond of a committed relationship, you have to tread carefully.
Even the smallest 1% shifts in behavior can alter the entire course of your would-be relationship, quickly catapulting the two of you toward your happily-ever-after, or slamming your connection straight into a brick wall.
One of the most dangerous periods in dating is the moment you decide you actually like a man. Because that’s when you irrationally become petrified of losing him and you start feeling that desperate urge to keep his attention at all costs.
So today, I’ll going to give you 3 simple tips to keep him interested after the first date, while maintaining a strong frame of mind so that you don’t get needy and push him away.
1. Keep things warm, but don’t overdo it
It’s important to strike a balance between showing you’re into him and showing you’re not too needy.
If he took you on a good date and did something to impress you, let him know! Send a text, but keep it simple: “Hey, just got into bed. I had a great time. Thanks for a lovely night! x”
This lets him know he should keep pursuing and that you’ll be receptive to his future advances.
If he texts you first, don’t leave it too long to respond or he’ll assume you’re not bothered.
Engage in few texts back and forth, throw in a little flirting, but don’t get sidetracked into endless conversation for hours or it will get stale and you’ll lose any mystery. You want to leave him a reason to get in touch again, or schedule another date to talk in person. So don’t waste all your good conversation on text!
Also, while you shouldn’t be afraid to text him first, don’t do it every time or it will put you in the position of always being the one chasing. Let him be the one to make first contact sometimes – it will let you know if he’s actually into you or not.
2. Build anticipation
When texting, don’t let your conversations become boring, “What u up to?” chats about your day. Keep things fun and flirty and joke around when you talk.
Discuss fun things you’d like to do together (not in a sexual way) by talking about activities and interests you’re both passionate about. This gives him encouragement – and ideas! – to schedule your next date.
3. Don’t get locked in a needy mindset
It’s easy to find yourself pacing up and down, checking your phone every five minutes, hoping he’ll keep texting back and worrying whenever he doesn’t.
You get that needy feeling in the pit of your stomach, and you may even start obsessing as you hope he’s still into you.
This is a totally destructive mindset that will slowly drain your confidence and make you act weird around him, because he’ll sense you’re trying too hard.
So in this stage, you must find other ways to keep your OWN life interesting.
Invest in your friends. Find activities you love. Make time for your work, family, art, exercise, things that make you excited.
The worst thing you can do is invest all your happiness in this new guy who you barely know, thinking that you’ll suddenly be depressed and lost if he doesn’t like you.
The time may come to invest more emotionally, but only when you see the right signs that he’s investing in you, too…
There are so many complicated nuances to the beginning stages of dating…
….So much can happen to trip you up and keep you from moving to the next level to get the true love you deserve.
The good news is, it will only take 1% shifts for you to finally get it right with men, right away…
…and I can show you exactly how to do this with WAY LESS EFFORT than you’re putting in now!
In my concise, rapid-results guide, I’ll hand you 7 small and immediate tweaks that mean the difference between you chasing him away… and him chasing you until he makes you his forever…