Are You Causing Your Partner To Fall Out Of Love With You?

torn photo of couple

It’s crazy how you can see people mess up their relationships…over and over again…often in the same ways.

I’ve seen so many men and women bewildered as to why they aren’t able to keep someone long-term – they wonder if it’s something about human nature, or about love, or about the failure of monogamy in general.

But often it’s a case of toxic behaviours that drive people away.

These behaviours lead to classic signs of falling out of love: emotional withdrawal, petty arguments, insensitive comments, and passive-aggressive moves that show that someone has truly given up on the relationship…

Toxic behaviors that turn your partner off in relationships

couple breakup on bench

One thing to realise is that you can have amazing qualities: you may be a loving, kind-hearted person with a great career and good friends – but you can STILL be driving people away without realising it.

So if you want to keep someone chasing forever, make sure to avoid these all-too-common terrible habits:

  • Criticizing their life choices

You don’t have to agree with everything your partner says, but people hate it when they feel like their career or lifestyle decisions are always brought into question by the person they love.

If you can’t accept the things they want and it drives you crazy, choose a different partner, or at least save your criticisms for the things that really matter, instead of nitpicking about their clothes, their friends, their hobbies, how they choose to relax, etc. If it doesn’t negatively affect you, your relationship or their happiness, then it’s not worth worrying about.

  • Not giving them appreciation

No-one can survive in a long-term relationship without feeling acknowledged for the effort they make. If your partner does something you like, goes out of their way to make you happy, and gives you love and affection and wants to please you, SHOW THEM YOU APPRECIATE IT.

You wouldn’t believe how many people bail on relationships because they feel taken for granted.

In fact, one of the biggest signs of someone falling out of love is when they gives up, because they feel like any effort they make doesn’t make any difference to the treatment they receive.

Always be the person who makes your partner feel great for trying, even if they don’t always get it right.

  • Losing sexual intimacy

 Yep, we all know it. But it has to be said.

Physical and sexual intimacy is a deep need for most of us.

Sometimes losing intimacy it’s the man’s fault. Sometimes the woman’s. But if you don’t make time for physical affection and make pleasing each other erotically a priority, it will poison every other part of the relationship.

If your partner feels like their pleasure in the bedroom is no longer important to you, they’ll eventually shut themselves off emotionally and become more and more distant, no matter how much quality time you spend doing other things.

  • Bringing complaints/negativity 

It’s great to listen to each other’s problems, but too many people make it their default to only ever unload their baggage and negative feelings onto their partner.

This is draining. It’s tiresome. And it sucks the fun and spontaneity that once existed from the relationship. It may even lead to your partner avoiding phone calls and conversations for fear that it’s only going to put them in a worse mood.

One of the sure signs of falling out of love is with someone when we can only associate our lover with problems and difficulty.

  • Not respecting their independence

Closeness is essential to fall in love, but space is what helps two people stay together.

Yes, you love each other to bits and you want to spend every minute knowing what they’re up to. But you also both need room to spread your wings and live as individuals: with your friends, hobbies, careers, passions – this is essential to keeping the feeling of excitement and freshness when you come back together again.

If someone feels trapped, they’re going to want to flee.

  • Pushing too hard too fast

You can’t rush something that needs time to grow.

Just because you have great chemistry, or feel like he or she is a catch, it doesn’t mean you should push things faster than they’re comfortable with.

Ok, if they can’t make up their mind about the relationship, that’s one thing.

But if they’re going at their own pace and things are moving forward, resist the urge to race ahead before your partner is ready. Chances are, they will tell you their intentions if you ask honestly. Decide if you’re ok with their response, and then allow things to progress naturally.

You’ll have a much happier time and they’ll feel like they’re with you because they’re choosing to be, not because they were forced to make a quick decision.

9 Texts No Man Can Resist

9 Responses to Are You Causing Your Partner To Fall Out Of Love With You?

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

  1. Katie says:

    Wow, this is not only a good guide to stay in a relationship. For me, it will help me get out of one. Sounds crazy but my partner is (yes I am stupid, I know) also my boss so when I break up with him, I actually fear consequences as he has narcissistic tendencies and never ever takes the blame for what happens to him. So if I get him to quit, maybe it won’t destabilize his life and therefor not ruin his business for which he would make me responsible. And okay, you could say: why do you even care? Well maybe because we have been together 10 f***ing years and I could not break free because I valued him more than myself which kept me, although he did almost all of the above PLUS making me feel “never good enough”. And even now I still don’t think he is a genuinely bad guy, he is just not the guy anyone should have a male-female relationship with. He would be a great friend though. Not mine I guess, but in general.

  2. Heather says:

    Omg I’m in tears I didn’t realize I was doing this yes we had our issues but I love him more than anything and I wish I could have found these a year ago is there any chance of him coming back? We broke up 2 months ago and he already has a new girl moved in. Who doesn’t work or even have a phone but he told me he doesn’t want to jeopardize that new relationship yet 4 days ago he needed me to get him some of his special knee things for work so he drove hours out of his way to pick me up got his work things and drove me home and followed me in the house to my bed then has a quick shower before leaving 2 hours later right before he got home he texts from the cell I bought on the plan is paying for and I thought was cut off to tell me not to reply to the text and not to say stupid stuff in emails cause his gf reads his messages.. What do I do?

  3. Crystal says:

    Very good article!My fiancé & I have hit a stale (almost mute & awkward) point due to my behavior. We both are having some anxiety, stress, & compounding issues that have led to my current behavior described in the article. We love each other dearly and are working it out slowly. I am trying to crawl out of a depressive negative outlook and aggressive attitude while he is trying to stick it out and help me along with his ptsd. My question is…what are some good tips, acts, or things I could do to encourage, support, and show appreciation for him. Are there any good exercises or lil gestures I can do to reinforce how much I love him & show the effort I will always strive to put in for him and myself?? Thank you

  4. Barbara Deckert says:

    You forgot about when ur with someone, say dancing or out it public and they can’t give u their time and constantly r looking around and checking out everyone but u

  5. Meli says:

    Q – How do I recover? I screwed up. We agreed on a date. It’s our 9th, lots of chemistry. We checked in and he mentioned he was tired. I took that to mean he didn’t want to meet up. So I went out with my friends. He was waiting for me and thought I bailed on him! I feel like such a loser. I REALLY wanted to see him but didn’t want them push things by asking. We both work crazy hours. I should have just asked!

    The next day when we talked and both explained, I apologized because I realized I misread his comment. We both agreed to confirm next time if we have any questions.

    This is my first relationship in 10 years! I guess I know now that he really likes me! Hopefully he still does.

    Q – How do I recover next time I see him? I’ve already apologized and he accepted. How do I keep our next date – not weird?

  6. Ms S says:

    I started dating him from November 2017 when on his bday I decided to confess my feelings to him. He was my ex colleague and I had known him since 2013; liked him ever since. He told me that he liked me too and would want to explore this relationship more before deciding upon marriage. We were in a long distance relationship and couldn’t talk or meet much because my parents didn’t know anything about it. His family was open minded and because of this he had troubles understanding my situation (anout hiding stuff from parents)
    While we were still dating, he told me that he also had feelings for me ever since he knew me but then he thought i wasnt interested and he decided to back out. At that time (in those five years) he had very strong feelings for me which he tried to communicate through his gestures. I could sense all that but because of some limitations at my family end I couldn’t reciprocate the same feelings. Feeling that I wasn’t interested he backed out and moved on with his life and got over me. But when I confessed my feelings to him he wanted to give us a shot. Although, he told me that now his feelings are not that strong and he would say I love you to me only when he ll genuinely feel this (but on one or two occasions he did say that to me). He used to show a lot of affection when we used to meet and on phone also. We used to make sure that we talk everyday at night and not let long distance affect us. He used to listen to my problems, share his personal life, we had a lot of romantic moments as well. We had started planning our future also together even though he wasnt committed.he had told his mom and brother and wanted to share it with his friends too. I stopped him from doing so till he would actually commit.
    We never had fights or arguments. There were times when I used to feel a disconnect from his end (more like once a month) but at such moments we preferred talking about the reasons for it and then it used to get resolved.

    In between I used to ask him about our marriage plans as well which he wasn’t sure of, but I wanted to know because I loved him and because of parental pressure.
    On 26th April this year I asked him to come meet my parents to which he agreed. On 6th may he refused politely, saying he would need more time. I told him that if he is not sure about me then he can decide to leave me (in a subtle way), but he refused and said he didn’t want to end the relationship. From that day on, he got busy with official travels and work. Because of this he started giving very less time to us. I tried speaking about it but he said he was busy( which he genuinely was). One day I asked him whether he wants this relationship or not because we were just saying goodnights to each other and not taking to each other at all. This was since the day he refused to come home. He said we ll talk about it and it was just work. Then on 19th may I called him when he was less busy as he said and asked him if I meant anything to him. He didn’t have an answer.i asked him if he wanted the relationship , he said he is ok the way things were moving but he doesnt have answer to the question. That’s when I told him that we should end this as I didn’t feel he wanted me. I asked him to say good bye to me(as he used to believe that bye means not wanting to see each other and preferred saying see you). He couldn’t say bye that day as well even after I insisted on it. He said ‘see you’re again. I told him that for closure I need to get his bye because without it I would still believe that teh relationship is still there. He said he needed time to think and will call soon. On 22nd he called and told me in a very emotionless voice that we should move in with our lives and said bye. I said ok on phone but in messages I asked him the reason.he said that he was putting in a lot of efforts since the beginning and the realtionship didn’t feel solid enough. Its a sign to move on if a relationship needs efforts since the beginning. This was the end of our relationship. We didn’t have any fight or ugly argument but we were done.
    I still love him and want him back in my life. Is this possible and should I even try? The way he said bye made me feel that I never meant anything to him. I am unable to figure out what went wrong. An ldr always requires efforts. So was it really the reason?

  7. Sarah says:

    Matthew I truly feel like I do these things. I have learned that you can’t control people. You have to love them as they are or move on. I feel however that he projects his insecurities on to me and that I’m having to prove myself in away. I am not sure why we play this game.

  8. Liliana says:

    My relationship are broken for 10 mounths ago. I made all, to bring him back. Nothing doesnt work. I think is to late.

  9. Carrie says:

    This makes a lot of sense. I had a very traumatic experience and have no desire for sexual intimacy. I don’t really like being touched. It is very difficult for my partner and I know he has needs and I try to make sure his needs are met but very difficult for it to be reversed.
    I am seeking help but it is several years later and finding there is not much improvement. The biggest thing we are working on is communication so other areas in our relationship remain good. It is a difficult process and will take time. I just hope he is patient enough to stay.

Read previous post:
Everything’s “Fine?” Here’s Why That’s Your Real Problem…

Maybe, like me, you hate the idea of “just getting by,” and just hoping somehow things will magically get better....

Close